Wild Abandon

by Ronica Black

  She walked back over to the coffee table, her eyes straying to Sarah again. “And if you still cannot reach orgasm, I would suggest getting some counseling.” Her voice became softer, as did her expression, and Sarah felt Chandler reach out to her, just like she had before. “To orgasm means to be able to give up control, to let yourself go. And if you can’t do that, even with all the pleasure in the world, then I would say there are some underlying reasons.”

  “Like what, for example?” another woman asked.

  Chandler glanced down away from Sarah to face the group as a whole. “Like psychological reasons, such as sexual abuse.”

  Sarah stared at Chandler’s profile and willed herself to remain calm. Chandler was bright and passionate and obviously very compassionate; that was evident in the way she spoke and related to these women, these strangers. Sarah refused to turn away.

  “It takes a lot of work to help a patient deal with their abuse, but it can work. There is hope. But it has been my experience that the patient must be willing to let it all out, to face every last demon and literally relive the abuse before they can move past it. If they can do that, they can heal. They can then allow themselves to be touched without the face of their abuser reentering their minds.”

  Sarah felt her stomach clench and she reached out to lean on the corner of the wall. It was as if Chandler knew. As if she could see into her soul and witness firsthand the abuse she’d suffered. Sarah’s mind spun as emotions tangled with reason. But before she could make sense of all she was feeling, Dave was back at her side.

  “You okay?” He placed a hand on her shoulder, forcing her to look over at him.

  She raised a weak hand to fend him off. “I’m fine. Just got a little dizzy there.” She glanced back at Chandler, who continued to speak but watched her with a worried expression.

  “You’re probably hungry,” Dave said. “Christ knows I’m starving.” He patted his stomach.

  He looked like he wanted to escape as Chandler concluded her session with some of the physical reasons why a woman might not be able to climax. The women all rose to buzz around the room. More than a few shook Chandler’s hand and offered their thanks. Sarah knew she should look away but couldn’t. Her common sense told her to go with Dave, who was shifting impatiently from one foot to the other, but she was drawn to Chandler, and as long as the woman was near, she wanted to remain as close to her as she could get.

  “Please, help yourselves to the sex toy catalogue where you can place your orders online or by phone,” Chandler lifted her voice to announce. “And please don’t forget to take the samples of lubricant, warming gel, and information on the research being done on the physical aspect of the female orgasm.”

  All smiles, Nicky said good-bye to her departing guests, then approached Sarah and Dave, apparently not noticing the intense stare Sarah was giving the guest speaker. “Honey, I didn’t know Sarah was coming over,” she chided her husband playfully.

  “I screwed up,” Dave confessed. “I forgot you had this little…party happening and invited her to dinner.” He handed Sarah a fresh beer, which she took slowly, not really wanting it.

  “How are you, Sarah?” Nicky asked as she waved to the last of her departing friends.

  “Fine. Good, actually.” Sarah tried to hide her distraction with a polite smile as her eyes found Chandler again. This time the psychologist was gliding toward her with confident ease.

  “Officer Monroe,” Chandler greeted with a wide grin.

  “You two know each other?” Nicky exchanged a surprised look with her husband.

  “Yes.” Sarah barely managed to get the word out. Consumed by her fierce attraction, she was lost in eyes of green. Even if she had wanted to, she doubted she could find her way back out to be able to participate in social niceties. All she could think about was Chandler. Her hair, her eyes, her smile. The deep richness of her laugh. She was amazing and she had no idea the effect she had on her.

  “She pulled me over about a week ago,” Chandler filled in, seeming to sense her discomposure. “For speeding.”

  All three laughed and Sarah found herself sipping her beer as a way to appear calm.

  “She gave you the ticket, then?” Dave asked, as if already knowing the answer.

  “Oh yeah, she gave me the ticket.” Chandler’s eyes burned with intensity. “One I’ll never forget.”

  Sarah swallowed wrong at the words and began to cough. The beer burned a trail down her throat. Nicky studied the both of them with her smile intact. Her face did little to hide her curiosity, but she shifted her attention as one of her lady friends reappeared at the door, car keys in hand.

  “Who’s got the blue Mazda sedan? You’re blocking me in.”

  Both Sarah and Chandler shook their heads, and Nicky said, “Will you please excuse me?”

  She gave her husband a look and he hastily excused himself, saying, “I better go help direct traffic.”

  They both headed out the front door, leaving Sarah alone with Chandler.

  “What a pleasant surprise, Officer Monroe,” Chandler immediately said, taking a step closer, one hand in her pocket. “Did you enjoy the show?”

  “It was very informative,” Sarah replied, raising her bottle to her mouth slowly, as if she were completely relaxed. But the beer did little to douse the flames in her body.

  “That’s what I like to hear.” Chandler’s eyes laid caressing kisses up and down Sarah’s body, then with a sly grin she shook her head. “It’s too bad you’re not into me, Officer Monroe”—she took another step closer, her breasts touching Sarah’s beer bottle, lightly grazing her fingers—“because you are by far the sexiest woman I have ever seen at one of these parties.”

  Sarah felt a hot flash in her chest as Chandler spoke. She laughed softly but a bit nervously as Chandler continued.

  “No, I’m serious now. I’ll have you know, before you walked in, I had my sights set on Betty over there.” She indicated one of the two elderly ladies hovering in the hallway as they stuffed lube samples into their purses.

  Again Sarah laughed, and this time the nervousness was gone. She took in Chandler and allowed herself to be affected by her. By her words, her scent, the feel of her body so close. The fear and exposure she had felt in the psychologist’s office was all but forgotten.

  “I bet she’s pretty good in bed,” she teased, her desire way too powerful, restoring her confidence.

  Chandler met her eyes again and her smile weakened a little as she licked her lips. “Pretty good doesn’t cut it when you’ve been with the best.” The words were spoken softly, for Sarah’s ears only.

  “I know what you mean,” she whispered in return, completely entranced. She felt Chandler tremble next to her in response to her words. But before Chandler could speak, Dave interrupted.

  “Sarah, and you too, Doctor, you’re welcome to stay, of course.” He clapped his hands together with anticipation, eyeing them both. “Steak sound good?”

  Slowly, Sarah pressed her shoulder just behind Chandler’s and eased her hand out to stroke her back. “Actually, Dave, I’m not going to be able to stay.”

  Chandler audibly took in a deep, shaky breath, and grinned. The glint in her eyes made it clear that she welcomed the touch and caught Sarah’s meaning. “I really should get things packed up here,” she said, moving to the counter to put away her display.

  “You sure you can’t stay?” Dave asked Sarah, obviously disappointed.

  “Some other time, Dave. I promise.” She handed him her beer.

  “Did you really pull her over?”

  “Yes, I really did.” She couldn’t help but smile, knowing he was working furiously to make sense of what he was seeing. His eyes constantly darted back and forth between her and Chandler.

  He caught her grin and his expression changed at once. “And now you want to follow her home…to make sure she doesn’t speed again.”

  “Something like that.” The grin stung her cheeks as she tried unsuc
cessfully to repress it.

  Dave laughed and gave her a pat on the back. “Go help her and get out of here.”

  Sarah moved at once, thanking him and crossing the room to help Chandler with her briefcases. They said their good-byes and exited hurriedly, leaving the world and everything in it far behind.

  Chapter Twelve

  Chan tried her best not to stomp on her gas pedal and fly home. Her body stirred with excitement while her mind reeled with possibilities. Sarah remained in sight in the rearview mirror, arousing her every time she glanced at it, making her insides flutter all wild and crazy. She still couldn’t believe she had run into the mysterious cop yet again. Her longing wish to see her again had come true.

  She continued to speed down the highway, too excited to slow down. She wondered briefly if Sarah would give her another ticket. She laughed, truly unsure what the by-the-book cop would do. Who was Sarah Monroe really? The officer had already surprised Chan by willingly agreeing to follow her home.

  When Chan had looked up to see her at the party, she was at first completely shocked, but then her shock had turned to fear. She had been afraid Sarah would run. It was to her great amusement that Sarah had remained, not only listening to every word, but apparently captivated.

  Chan steered off on her exit and slowed her truck. She thought of Sarah’s visit to her office and her problem with sex. She had briefly glanced at the chart just before she walked in. It seemed Sarah couldn’t bring herself to orgasm, whether alone or with another. Chan would have to be mindful tonight and not allow herself to get carried away. Sarah needed her and her knowledge. And Chan was willing to do anything to help her.

  She pulled into her garage and waited for Sarah to stroll up, much like she had done nearly a week ago. As the cop moved, Chan’s breath quickened with the sight of her, all confidence and control. Even though she knew one of the secrets the woman held, it was still difficult to see past the strength of her exterior.

  “Hi,” Sarah said, low and smooth as a grin stretched across her face.

  “Hi.” Chan smiled back, fighting her body’s need to melt as memories of their previous encounter overtook her. Sarah had taken complete control of her, something Chan wasn’t used to. The sex had been beyond hot. She never knew being submissive could be so incredible. Would it be that way tonight? Or would Sarah ease up, embarrassed because of her appointment?

  Sarah stood before her and glanced back at the open garage door, answering Chan’s question with her self-assuredness. “You better close that.”

  “Why?” Chan questioned, playfully curious. Her voice trembled slightly, betraying the depth to which she was moved by her visitor and her close proximity.

  Sarah reached out and wrapped a possessive arm around her waist, tugging her to her. “Because your neighbors will never leave you alone again if they see what I’ve seen.”

  Chan pushed down some saliva as her eyelids fluttered against the intense blue-burning gaze. She was amazed at how quickly Sarah had regained control and gone from a nervous, resistant client to a pleasantly intimidating and dominant woman.

  Before Chan could manage to speak, Sarah leaned in and nipped at her neck while whispering in her ear. “If anyone saw you like I have, watched you come, watched your face, heard your cries of pleasure, they would forever be yours. They would be willing to do anything for you.”

  Chan shuddered as the hot breath tickled her ear and her heart. Pushing herself back a little, she held Sarah’s eyes. “What about you? Are you willing to do anything for me?” The question had many different elements to it, and she waited with nerves on edge for an answer.

  Sarah stared back in serious thought and Chandler felt her firm, powerful body give ever so slightly before she spoke. “I would.”

  Chan nearly collapsed with desire and what she recognized as the white-hot flame of passion. She clung to Sarah’s strong arms, unconsciously drawing on her strength. “You would?”

  Sarah nodded. “I am willing.” She lowered her gaze. “I just don’t know if I can.”

  Chan held on tight and felt the cop tremble. As she studied her, she felt herself once again moved by Sarah, differently than ever before, stronger, deeper. She allowed herself to stare at Sarah’s face. Her bronzed skin seemed to glow in the dim light, awakened by heat of passion and powerful desire. Her eyes were splintering sapphire, cut from the stone on a stormy winter’s night. The halo ringing her pupils seemed to encircle Chan, holding her suspended in time. It was a moment she knew she would remember forever.

  She knew there were pains that had been hidden deep from everyone, including Sarah herself. Would she ever let Chan in? Sexually? Intimately? Sex would be a start, but what secrets did the pain represent? More importantly, were the pain and secrets something Chan was ready for? Sex was one thing, but emotions were another.

  “We better shut that garage door, then.” Chan smiled softly and took Sarah by the hand to lead her inside.

  Sarah followed her in silence into the kitchen, where the light from the living room drifted in a warm glow just like it had before.

  “Make yourself at home.” Chan moved to the fridge, searching for something to ease her dry throat. Picking up a beer, she turned, finding Sarah settling in on the sofa. “Can I get you anything?”

  Chan took a sip and let the liquid soothe her throat, worn and strained from the two hours of constant talking. While the beer doused the flames in her throat, her nerves were still afire with Sarah’s presence. The tough yet pain-yielding cop seemed to stir everything inside her—desire, curiosity, submissiveness, excitement—a feat no one had accomplished before.

  “No thanks,” Sarah replied.

  Chan walked to her, sipping her beer slowly. A meow came from the back door as she set the bottle on the coffee table. Mitote was home and no doubt hungry. She moved to open the door and was once again surprised to find it unlocked. Mentally scolding herself for her carelessness, she allowed the cat to scuttle inside.

  “You have a cat,” Sarah stated rather than questioned.

  Chan closed the door and watched him as he began to strut, tail high in the air. “Whenever he chooses to claim me.” She sat down on the couch and Mitote followed, jumping up into her lap. As she stroked him, she glanced over at Sarah and noted her apprehensive look. “You don’t like cats?”

  “I really don’t know. I’ve never had a pet.”

  “Never?”

  Sarah shook her head. “They’re too messy. I don’t think I could handle that.”

  Chan could understand Sarah’s reasoning. For someone who valued control as she seemed to, it made sense. She thought of Donna then, and inwardly cringed. Was Sarah too much like her ex? Both were confident, both seemingly very much in control of what went on around them. Chan remembered the iron fist with which Donna ran her household. Nothing was permitted to be out of place, not even for a second. And if it was, there was hell to pay. Chan could only hope that Sarah wasn’t as bad.

  “They’re very relaxing,” she offered, trying gently to get Sarah to relax a little. “Very soothing.” As if he understood her words, Mitote walked the short distance to where Sarah sat and nuzzled her hand. Chan laughed softly at Sarah’s wary expression. “Do you want me to take him away?”

  Sarah eyed the cat and tentatively raised her hand to pat him on the head. Mitote ate it up, stretching his head and body under her hand, purring loudly as he did so. Appearing to gain confidence, Sarah stroked him down the length of his back and smiled slightly as he raised his rear in the air. “No, it’s okay,” she replied. “What’s his name?”

  Chan smiled, very much liking the softening look in Sarah’s eyes. “Mitote.”

  Sarah glanced up. “Meh-toe-what?”

  “Mitote. It means ‘the fog.’”

  Puzzlement remained on her face.

  Chan laughed and explained. “The fog that clouds our vision, keeps us from seeing what’s really important in life.”

  Sarah continued to stroke th
e charmingly demanding cat, obviously deep in thought. “So the fog is like stress?”

  “Yes. It’s all the little things that we worry about that, in the scheme of things, really aren’t that important.”

  “I see.”

  “I named him that to remind me to stop every once and a while to see through it.”

  “Has it worked?” Sarah raised an eyebrow.

  “Sometimes.” Though not lately.

  Mitote, having got his fill of physical affection, jumped down and trotted into the kitchen. His cries of hunger demanded that Chan rise and feed him. As she scooped out some dry cat food from the pantry, her concern went back to her guest. “Are you sure I can’t get you anything?”

  There was a lengthy pause and Chan almost thought Sarah hadn’t heard her. Just as she was ready to ask her again, she heard her voice, deep and throaty and almost directly behind her.

  “I am thirsty.”

  Chan felt the strokes of the words on her back. They caressed her, softly, like a warm breath kissing her bare skin. Chan turned, her skin tingling and desperate for more. Sarah stood next to the counter with her hands at her sides and her blue eyes blazing.

  “Beer?” was all Chan could think to say as her body reacted to Sarah’s stare.

  The cop moved with deliberate purpose, tugging Chan in for a wild, passionate kiss. Chan felt her insides surge with powerful adrenaline and then go limp with exertion, as if Sarah were feeding from her, pulling out all her energy. With the kiss she relented, giving in to Sarah’s raw strength, letting her lead the way. Finally, with Chan’s seeking hands clinging to her blouse, Sarah pulled away.

  Her breathing was quick and hot as she stared hard into Chan’s eyes. “I could kiss you…” she breathed, obviously searching for words. “I want to kiss you…” She yanked Chan back into her arms. “I don’t ever want to stop.”

  Chan felt herself sway in Sarah’s arms. She didn’t know how to respond. The confession was a complete surprise and something she somehow knew Sarah didn’t do often, if ever. The mysterious cop was igniting every last cell in her body with her passionate gaze, kisses, and words. You’re unbelievable, an enigma…Are you really real? So wonderfully powerful and yet passionate. How could someone with such obvious feeling have problems with letting go?