“It’s perfect.” She said. “And go get a shower, I’m going to fix your makeup today.”
She held up her hand to ward off the protest, gave Claire her sternest look and pointed to the bathroom.
She was pleased to see the change in her best friend and hoped it wouldn’t lead to heartache. She was a firm believer in going after what you wanted and maybe the Professor was what she needed. She certainly didn’t have any interest in the other boys she’d dated, she’d complained they were all immature.
Dana had breakfast laid out when she came back in wearing the new skirt and cute ruffled Victorian inspired blouse. It accented her hourglass shape and Dana clapped when she made her entrance and gave a little twirl.
Claire blushed at the attention but didn’t complain when Dana added a little flair from her own extensive selection of makeup. It wasn’t much, she wasn’t getting dolled up for a night on the town, but a little color, a little lip gloss and a little highlighting brought out her natural beauty. It was a lot less than many of the girls wore but since her usual makeup consisted of chap-stick on occasion, it transformed her.
“It’s Friday.” Dana said and handed her a tube of red lipstick. “Half the campus will be going to the recital this afternoon. If you decide to go with one of the hundreds of boys that are going to ask you, a little dab of this and you’ll be ready.”
“Yeah, right.” Claire said but tucked it into her laptop bag.
She didn’t have patience for boys, she had a crush on a man. Maybe it was wrong, but she didn’t care. Her entire life Claire had played by the rules. Now it was time to break some. She knew, she just knew he felt the same way. She’d replayed the office and laundry room encounter over and over. She hadn’t imagined it, she had felt the electricity between them. If he wouldn’t act on it, she would. If she didn’t lose her nerve.
She did.
She was going to ask him a question after class but he was surrounded by other students, other girls, who all had questions of their own. She’d left without even approaching him. Nobody asked her to the big show although she did catch a few of the boys staring at her, a few smiled and said hello. She really wasn’t interested in it anyway, none of her friends would be on stage, but she didn’t want to go back to an empty apartment. There was no doubt in her mind that Dana would be off doing something and having fun and she’d spend the evening watching reruns and eating junk food. She went to the library instead, caught up on all her assignments then decided to go finish the last of the filing for Professor Vogt. Maybe she would leave a note on James’ desk, letting him know it was complete and if he had any questions, he shouldn’t hesitate to call. She’d be happy to show him anything. She hurried toward the old part of campus through the falling darkness and the cold wind that had kicked up. Her mind went back to how she would write the note and she smiled at the number of double entendres or misspelled words she could come up with.
I am adept at dicktation if required. Not true in either sense but she would like to try her hand at it. She giggled again.
I can help you handle any big packages you may have.
She loosened her jacket as she climbed the stairs to the office, she was getting hot and it wasn’t from the exertion. For the thousandth time she wished she could be more like Dana. She slipped her key in the lock, opened the door, and was surprised when she saw James sitting in the darkness overlooking the hustle and bustle below. He spun in his chair and they both looked surprised as she flipped on the light.
“I’m, I’m sorry.” Stammered. “I didn’t know anyone was here.”
“It’s fine.” James rushed and leaned forward. “I was just thinking about…”
He hesitated and couldn’t think of a convenient lie. He wasn’t about to say “you”, too inappropriate, but he drew a blank.
“Things.” He finished lamely.
Claire stepped inside, locked the door behind her and using every ounce of courage she had, doing it before she lost her nerve, she reached over and turned the light off. She stood frozen with fear and indecision, waiting for him to chastise her. She already had an excuse on her lips, ready to apologize, say she thought he wanted to see the first Holiday lights going up below. She was ready to deny everything, pretend it was perfectly innocent, she had absolutely no ulterior motives.
“I made tea.” He said then rose to take her jacket.
She looked absolutely gorgeous. The skirt hugged her perfect bubble butt and the blouse was tight against her breasts. Coppery hair framed her perfect porcelain face and fell in curls to her shoulders.
He was instantly aroused but the slacks did a better job of hiding it than his sweat pants had. He didn’t want to keep it hidden, though. She had come here, had seen him and had turned off the light. She was ready and it was up to him to stop it, if he could. If he wanted to. He let his hands linger on her shoulders, heard her soft sigh and was lost. He could stop this no more than he could stop raindrops falling from the clouds.
He guided her over to his desk, sat her on it, stood between her legs and placed his hands on her knees. She propped her feet on the long table under the window and books tumbled to the floor.
James looked deep into her eyes, leaned close and breathed in her scent.
His body was strong and tense, she felt the warmth and power flowing through him. He came closer, and she was sure he will kiss her. Her mouth was pouty and half open, her body humming with need for his fingers to touch and explore.
“James”, she whispered as his lips and soft beard brushed her neck. She put everything in that one word. Lust, desire and need. She wanted him to come back up to her lips, to nibble them and taste them, run his tongue across them. She breathed deeply and fire spread from her thighs.
“Do you have any idea what you are doing to me?” he asked in a deep buttery tone.
“Tell me.” She whispered in a velvet voice.
James sighed, nuzzled her hair in reply. It smelled like her, like heat, passion, fire and leaves in the fall. It was cinnamon, sunsets and wild primal sex.
“Claire” he breathed and her name on his lips melted her. It was exhalation, and worship. Longing and desire.
Claire took his face in her hands and stared into his eyes, tried to convey her hunger. He was such a sexy man, his beautiful long lashes created a halo of shadows and mystery in the twinkling lights coming from outside. She was aching for him, already silky with desire even before the first kiss.
Her fingers moved up in his hair. She loved the silver touches that gave him an air of royalty. His hands slid around her waist but it was different than other guys that had tried. It was warm and deeply erotic not demanding something she didn’t want to give. She wanted to take all he had to offer, she was getting crazy with the heat that flowed from his body and the hardness pressed against her liquid warmth. Her skirt was high up around her thighs, her nipples rock hard and pressed against his chest.
There was sadness in his eyes. She wanted to know everything about him, exploring the deepest corners of his soul and not leaving one untouched. James couldn’t focus, he felt her slipping into his mind, body and soul.
It was sexual, of course it was, but it was more. It was an overriding desire to be close to her. He wanted her on every level but could he be open to her? Would she understand? She was sweet and innocent. For James her pleasure was his pleasure. He was one of the few men that couldn’t enjoy sex without knowing that his lady was pleased and he would do everything to make that happen.
What would Claire think? Would she enjoy his way of making love? Would she embrace it or think it was too weird? She had taken the first step, she had closed the door and locked it behind her. That was a good sign. Maybe she had domination in her and hadn’t fully explored it yet.
Her mind was clouded by desire and craved more. She wrapped her hands in his hair, pulled him closer and touched his lips with hers. The kiss was soft at first. She explored with her lips then her tongue invaded his mouth.
James closed his eyes, the kiss was perfection. How did she know that he needed her to kiss him first? He allowed himself to get lost, pushed up her blouse and his hands found soft, creamy skin. She was a precious doll in his arms.
Claire wanted him closer. She wrapped her legs around him, scooted forward on the desk and pressed herself against him.
“I dreamed of this.” He whispered and his fingers unhooked her bra then found her nipples.
James kissed her neck, slipped his hands down to her soft thighs and pulled her tight. He wanted to be lost in her. Her softness and heat felt better than he ever imagined.
He kissed his way down her body, knelt in front of her. He was in no hurry, took his time, fought the hunger that demanded he be quick and get to the prize. That was a young man’s game, he’d learned the journey was more important than the destination. She was wearing the most perfect pair of red lace panties with white, silky skin shining through. He kissed his way up on the inside of her soft legs, took off her shoes one by one, caressed the soft skin through the silky pantyhose then kissed her thighs as he slid them down. Claire pushed his papers aside, pens clattered to the floor as she leaned back on her elbows. The passion glistening in her eyes, the ragged breathing and her teeth biting her lip made him wild with need and hunger. He couldn’t remember ever being so turned on.
“What would you like?” he whispered. He needed to hear her speak. He needed her validation, her words, and her commands.
“Mmmm” a soft moan escaped her lips.
“Would you like me to kiss you on top of your panties?”
“Yessss.” she shivered.
Claire closed her eyes and sighed, legs open for her professor to teach her a lesson. He wanted her to leash him, command him, guide him with a riding crop. She was compliant but he’d glimpsed her strength, knew her dominance was just below the surface. Knew she kept it in check because that’s what you were supposed to do but he saw the tigress, he saw the dominatrix wanting to be freed.
“Claire,” he whispered “do you want me to continue?”
“Yes” she breathed and wrapped her fingers in his hair. “Yes.”
“Say it.” He said and nibbled at her inner thigh. “Order me to do your will.”
“Pleeease.” She whispered and angled her wetness towards his mouth. “I neeeeed it.”
“Then tell me like you mean it.” He said and barely brushed his beard against her kitty as he bit softly on the other thigh. “Make me do it, Claire. Make me give you what you want.”
She groaned with need, tried push herself toward his mouth but he slid away again.
“Tell me.” He said softly. “Make your demands.”
She squirmed, needed to be fulfilled, needed him to touch her or she would go mad with hunger.
“Do it.” She said and gripped his hair tighter.
“Do it.” She demanded and pulled his face to where it needed to be. She thrust into him, ground his face into her wetness and felt a monumental climax building inside.
He broke away enough to strip off her panties, opened his mouth wide and covered her beautiful, ripe peach. He hummed, sending vibrations pulsing through her and her mouth formed a perfect O of surprise. Her breathing became ragged. She tried to pull away from the sensation but he dove in deeper. She lost all thought, all reason and rode the building waves of pleasure that rolled through her body. She pulled him closer and moaned.
He wanted her to explode and shiver and shake. Thinking about her orgasm, about her climax, made him wild. He pleasured her in the way of his countrymen, deep, guttural throat singing that vibrated and resonated through his mouth and trilled through her whole being. The rough moans coming from the back of her throat, the clenching of long fingers in his hair, the sweet, honeyed taste of her drove his own ecstasy along with hers.
He could feel her release building as she put her legs on his shoulders and pulled his head closer, drove the vibrations deeper. Claire bucked her hips in a violent release and arched her back in pure bliss. So much better than anything she’d ever felt, ever dreamed she could feel. It felt so good it hurt and even that felt like the most delicious, wonderful, beautiful nirvana that could ever be felt. It left her gasping and helpless, quivering at his lightest touch and riding the waves of pleasure as they faded.
James kissed the inside of her thighs, let the shudders subside and basked in her elation. He was still hungry for her, still wanted pleasure, but he was fulfilled for giving his beautiful, curvy lover so much joy.
Claire sat up, pulled his face up to hers.
“Kiss me, Professor.” She whispered and relished the taste of herself on his beard. She buried her tongue in him, crushed their lips together and twisted his hair around her fingers. She pulled, knew it hurt and heard him groan with pleasure. A different kind of thrill ran through her, the thrill of power. The thrill of commanding a man to do what she willed and he would do it and ask for more. To know that he wanted it, needed it, pleased her even more.
I need to feel you inside me, Professor.” she rasped; her voice low and raw, almost guttural.
There was something about the way she said professor that sent a jolt of electricity through his body.
Her lips found his again as her hands worked open his belt. James was lost. She tasted like candy and spring and it drove him mad with desire. He wanted to be hers, to fill her up and give her endless pleasure. To do her bidding, to be her slave, to give her everything.
“Tell me.” He breathed as she bit at his lip, tasted herself in his mustache and her hands found what she needed.
“Tell me what you want. Tell me what to do.” His voice was shaky with desire.
She relished the feeling of power. Instead of fighting off clumsy, groping hands from overeager boys, she was in control. She’d never known anything like it before and she felt the freedom it gave her. She didn’t have to be prim and proper. She didn’t have to act like a lady is supposed to act. She could do no wrong, this man worshipped her and would do anything she asked.
“Love me, James.” She said with power in her voice. “Love me now.”
She couldn’t believe those words crossed her lips but it was what she wanted. It was what she needed and he stopped resisting, moved closer to do her bidding.
“I dreamed about this.” She said, her voice raspy with lust, “I knew there was a reason I waited. I knew it would be special. It’s yours, Professor, all yours.”
James stopped just as he was getting ready to drive deep into her.
“You’re a virgin?” he asked as he pulled back.
“Yes, but its fine.” Claire said and sensed the mood changing, his lust and desire and hunger fled.
She tried to pull him closer but he pulled away. He could not take her virginity, not like this. It was like a bucket of ice water poured over his head. He had done things he wasn’t proud of, he had lost his good sense, had lost control more than once and he was many things but he wasn’t a defiler. He wouldn’t take something that could only be given once. She was an innocent, he wouldn’t steal that from her. Claire deserved a good guy, a normal guy, a boyfriend. He had issues, lots of them, she knew nothing about. He was a liar, she thought he was an educated professor teaching at a small college. She didn’t know him, know his troubles, know his duties. This wasn’t a forbidden fling with a student, a little fun and excitement for a while. This was forever. This was taking something that couldn’t be restored.
“We can’t.” he said and backed away.
She looked at him in disbelief as he moved her leg aside so he could pull his pants back up.
“Have I said something wrong?”
Her voice quivered. She’d been so happy just a few seconds ago. So lost in the moment.
“No,” he said “but I can’t do that to you.”
“Do what? I want you to.”
Claire felt an unpleasant heat rising up in her throat. She was losing him, he was stepping away and putting distance between them when all sh
e wanted was for him to come closer. She wanted to join with him.
“You should have your first time with someone special.” He said miserably. “Not me.”
Claire stared at him, open mouthed and open legged. Her surprise turned to hurt. He was special, she had waited for years for someone special enough. Did he think no one else had ever tried? What was wrong with her? Did she have to be a slutty tramp to be desirable? What she offered wasn’t enough? She couldn’t grasp what happened, a few minutes ago she had the most wonderful feeling in the world and now he was far away, untouchable and cold. Had he finally realized she was a fat virgin and got disgusted? He didn’t seem to mind much when he was between her legs. Her hurt turned to anger.
“I don’t need you to patronize me!” she snarled, grabbed her jacket and shoes then stormed out of his office, ignored his words and refused to look at him. She adjusted her clothes as she ran down the empty halls and was glad it was dark so no one could see her tears of humiliation, shame and anger as she hurried home.
Chapter Eight
Regrets
Claire didn’t know how she made it back to the apartment and didn’t know how much time had passed until she finally stopped crying. She sat in the darkness on the couch with a box of tissues and a bottle of wine. She was ashamed, embarrassed and thought about her flaws. Her belly muffin. Her thick thighs. Her boobs that were too big. She wished the earth would crack open and swallow her whole and berated herself for thinking someone as handsome and smart and well-traveled as James would be interested in her. She never should have told him she was a virgin. How lame was that, an overweight twenty-one-year-old virgin! Everything had been fine up until then; it was a gift she wanted to give him but he’d rejected it. Rejected her.
Dana breezed in near midnight and was surprised when she flipped on the light and saw Claire with the half empty bottle and a box of tissues. Her bestie looked miserable. She dropped her jacket and went to her, embraced her and held her tight. No words were needed, she didn’t ask questions, she was simply there for her.
Heart of the Guardians: Meeting Destiny Page 5