Just One of the Groomsmen

by Cindi Madsen

  Her tongue rolled over his, and then he presumed the hell out of the situation. He tugged off his clothes as fast as he could and stepped into the shower with her.

  “You’re lucky I didn’t maim you,” she said.

  “With the shampoo bottle?”

  “Don’t say it like I can’t pull it off, or I’ll have to show you how dangerous I can be with it.”

  “This whole threat-based foreplay thing you do?” He took the bottle from her fingers and set it aside. “I’m totally into it.”

  He backed her up against the wall, groaning at the amazing way her skin slipped against his.

  Earlier tonight in the field had merely been a prelude, and as promised, he planned to lavish extra attention on her breasts.

  He dipped his head and flicked one of her nipples with his tongue.

  “Tell me how you like it, Addison.”

  A whimper escaped her as he sucked her breast into his mouth, and her fingers drove into his hair. “A little rougher,” she panted, and he lightly scraped his teeth over the sensitive skin. Goose bumps traveled across her body, and she gripped his hair in her fist. “Ohmigosh, yes. Just like that.”

  He dragged his lips to the other breast and repeated the move, holding her to him as she shuddered and writhed against him. Then he pressed a kiss to her rib cage, her belly button, lower…

  He knelt in front of her and worshipped her with his tongue, teasing her and letting her ride right along the edge of her orgasm.

  “Tucker…” she whispered, a pleading note in her voice that had him increasing the speed and pressure until she came undone. Her cries of pleasure bounced off the tile and settled deep inside him, and he wanted to hold on to this perfect moment.

  She slumped back against the wet wall, her eyelids half closed as she worked to catch her breath. Then she mumbled something about having condoms in her medicine cabinet, and if he ended up maimed tonight, it’d be from jumping out to grab them so quickly that he slipped and injured himself.

  A couple of seconds later, he was back under the warm spray of water with her. Then their bodies were gliding together again, things completely in sync between them now that nothing else was in the way.

  The future didn’t seem so scary anymore. He didn’t need to know exactly how or when he’d figure his life out, as long as Addie would be there.

  “Addie, I…” It was too fast. He couldn’t say the thought that popped into his head.

  So he kissed her instead, doing his best to show her how much he cared about her that way.

  As they circled higher and higher, he tethered her to him, dragging out the euphoric high as long as possible.

  And when they tumbled over the edge together, he held tight to her, letting her know that no matter what happened, he’d always be there to catch her.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Tucker’s eyes were drifting closed when Addie lifted her head off his chest and said, “We need to talk.”

  Usually those words would strike fear in his heart, but this wasn’t one of those relationships where surprises came out of the woodwork. This was Addie.

  He sat up against her headboard so he could wake himself enough to focus. Her bed was definitely more comfortable than his, and he planned on taking advantage of all the room inside her full shower again and again.

  “What’s up?” he asked. “Is it about telling the guys? We can, but I’m thinking maybe we should wait till after the wedding. Just to keep the drama as low as possible, because you know they’ll all have an opinion about it.”

  Easton certainly did, and Shep and Ford would undoubtedly feel the same way about anything that might mess with the group dynamic.

  In time they’d get used to it. Hopefully.

  They’d have to, whether they liked it or not—now that Tucker had Addie, he didn’t plan on letting go.

  She opened her mouth, and then she scrunched up her forehead. Which meant she was holding back instead of spitting it out, and trepidation and doubt crept in.

  “What’s up? You’re starting to worry me.”

  “That was one of the things I wanted to talk about, but I have news, actually,” she said. “It’s not bad news, exactly. I mean, it might be good. But there are bad aspects, I suppose, just like there are good ones. It doesn’t matter, though, because I’m rethinking everything again.”

  “Okay, now you’ve gotta tell me.” He grabbed her hand and laced his fingers with hers, trying to brace himself, although without knowing why, he didn’t know how. “Spill.”

  “I’ve got a possible job lead.” She swiped a section of her still-damp hair behind her ear.

  “That’s great. And a huge relief. I thought you were gonna tell me you didn’t want to do this anymore.”

  “I do want to. It’s just the job is…well, it’d be a sports therapy position with…the University of Alabama. Working with their football team. Can you imagine me having to cheer ‘Roll Tide’? It’s enough to make my stubborn side stand up and say hell no, but it’s one of the biggest sports organizations in the country, and the pay would be a lot more.”

  His stomach sank, his relief doing a quick one-eighty spin.

  For all his talk about Addie not caring about money, there it was. She wants more out of life than this tiny town. Than someone with a meager salary could give her.

  Than I could provide her.

  And it wasn’t like he could say, Who cares about a big bump in pay? Just live on hopes and dreams with me in my tiny-ass houseboat.

  She tucked up her knees and looped her arms over them. “As I’m sure you know, considerin’ how you lived near there not all that long ago, Tuscaloosa is also two and a half hours away.”

  He’d been so focused on the money angle that he hadn’t thought about it.

  He’d finally returned to where he belonged, and she was thinking of leaving. Timing was such a bitch.

  He’d be back here working on small cases, and she’d be working for one of the biggest football teams in the country.

  Which also meant she’d be around football players day in and day out, guys who wouldn’t be the type to get easily intimidated and run. Unless it was running toward her, racing to see who could ask out the sexy new physical therapist first.

  She’d be taping up their knee or helping them work their muscles, her hand on their leg…

  “Apparently the thought of that makes you have murdery feelings?” she asked.

  Yep, you touching other guys, other guys touching you. Murdery applies to both.

  “I’m just processing.” Honestly, the players were a bit young—okay, they were practically kids, hardly competition.

  The blood in his veins cooled for all of two seconds before he realized there’d be a lot of coaches and other staff members around her as well. Guys closer to her age, who pulled in impressive salaries, no doubt.

  “Tucker, I really need you to say somethin’ right now.”

  He shoved away his personal feelings and focused on how good this would be for her.

  Ever since he could remember, she’d talked about working for a professional team, and she hated her job here. She dealt with it, and she’d continue to duck her head and bear it if she felt like she had to, but it’d grate on her more each day, until she was completely miserable—he had too much experience with what that was like, and he didn’t want that for her.

  “You’d be crazy not to go for it.”

  Addie bit at her thumbnail. “I know. Or anyway, I tell myself that. But then my grandma came over the other night and was talking about how nice it was to have me so close, and my family totally flipped when Alexandria moved so far away—do you remember how upset they were? They took her leaving personally, and considerin’ who I’d be working for, they’d take mine extra personally.”

  Obviously she was attempting to make a jo
ke, but there was too much truth in there for it to land.

  “You deserve to have the kind of life you want, not the one other people think you should have.”

  “But I don’t know which kind of life I want. I thought I did, but now…”

  The temptation to tell her he wanted her here—that he needed her here with him—nearly overpowered him. Which meant he had to make it clear she couldn’t stay because of him.

  Later she’d regret it, and as she grew more and more discontent with her job, resentment over his asking her to stay would seep into their relationship, whether it was simply friendship or more, and it would end up doing major damage.

  Possibly enough to ruin them completely, and not having her in his life was the worst thing he could think of.

  He shut down his emotions the best he could, ignoring the twinge in his chest. “It’s good timing. Or as good a timing as this kind of thing could be. It’s not like I can get serious with anyone right now anyway.”

  Two creases formed between her eyebrows. “Wait. So you’re saying that what we’re doing isn’t serious? Because it felt pretty damn serious crossing those lines. Why would we even risk that if we weren’t going anywhere? If you didn’t see a future?”

  Breathe in, breathe out.

  As long as he stayed calm, they could hopefully keep this from devolving into the types of screaming matches his parents used to have. “I’m saying that I’m in no place to settle down right now. We haven’t gotten that far into the romance part of our relationship—not so far things will be messed up between us—which is why I’m glad we agreed to take it slow.”

  A fissure formed in his chest as everything he’d tried to convince himself of came unraveled.

  “Let’s just get real for a minute,” he continued. “I live in a houseboat and get whopping two-dollar retainers, for hell’s sake, and until several of the cases are wrapped up, I see no end in sight to that. You have a chance to go make some decent money and add more impressive experience to your résumé.”

  “Now you care about money? I thought you left your job because you don’t care about it.”

  “No, I left because I hated it like you hate your job, and to be honest, the fact that it’s left me without a steady income terrifies me. I can’t even think about settling down until I have a down payment for a house in the bank. I’d also hoped to have a large chunk of change in my 401K first, but again, I’m trying to get real here.”

  The line of Addie’s jaw went rigid, and she gathered the covers tighter around her. “I’m starting to notice a pattern. We’ll tell people we’re dating after the wedding. We can get serious after you have a down payment. Just say what you really mean. You don’t want to get serious with me.”

  She started to pull away and he caught her arm.

  “Dammit, Addie, that’s not what this is.”

  She whipped back to face him, anger and hurt flickering through her expression. “What do you think will happen to us, Tucker? You sure didn’t mention anything about trying to make the long-distance thing work, and even though it wouldn’t be easy, I at least hoped you might consider it. Then again, why bother, right?” She shrugged and her words came out icy and sharp. “We could hardly keep up a long-distance friendship, and that was with me only bein’ a little hurt when you didn’t call or visit when you said you were going to. If we were dating, it’d be harder for me to say, ‘Oh well, he’s clearly busy. No big deal.’”

  Thanks to the fact that he knew her so well, he could tell she wanted him to deny it. Or fight it.

  But she was right, and what good would it do for both of them to pretend it’d somehow be magically okay?

  Crashes were always bigger, uglier, and a lot more painful after you got your hopes up.

  “Let’s take it a step at a time. You go interview for the job, and once we find out what’s going to happen with that, we can take it from there. But I’m sure they’re going to love you and offer you a position with the team. Why wouldn’t they?”

  A sardonic “Ha” came out, so at odds with her usual infectious laugh. “At least you have some faith in me, even if I’m afraid it’s in the wrong place.”

  He grabbed her hand and sandwiched it between both of his as he peered into those big brown eyes. “I have all the faith in you, Addes. Which is why I don’t want you to say no to your dream job because of me.”

  Tears formed in her eyes, and a hollow, sucking pit opened up in his chest.

  “Please don’t cry,” he said, and she swiped at her cheeks as the tears broke free.

  “I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to stop them, so if you don’t want to see, maybe you should go.”

  “No.” He wrapped his arms around her, holding her as she sniffed and blinked at her tears.

  He felt her slipping through his fingers, and that pit in his chest opened wider, sucking away all the happiness they’d experienced the past six weeks—and especially the last two.

  She tugged free from his embrace and turned her face away, and as much as he wanted to pull her right back and refuse to release her, he wouldn’t force her to let him hold her.

  “I really wanna be alone right now,” she said.

  “Addie—”

  “Please, Tucker.” Her voice cracked, and pain lanced his heart. “Please just go.”

  …

  Addie woke up and looked at the empty spot next to her, and then she immediately wanted to throw the covers over her head and give up on the day.

  Last night she’d asked Tucker to leave, and he’d kissed her goodbye on her forehead, way too softly, and it felt way too final.

  Then she’d cried some more, because apparently dating her best friend had turned her into a girl who cries over a boy, and she didn’t even know what they were anymore, and that made her want to cry again, so she wasn’t going to think about that right now.

  Last night, sorrow had gripped her, not leaving room for much else; this morning, she felt like an idiot on top of her turmoil.

  She’d thought she and Tucker were getting serious. That they’d been on their way to something that might surpass serious.

  That was a problem she hadn’t foreseen about being friends first. Everything automatically seemed more intimate because you already knew each other so well.

  Part of her realized she had to go for the job—a big part of her—but she’d also hoped Tucker would tell her that he didn’t want her to move.

  Instead he’d immediately encouraged her to go for the job that would take her hours away from Uncertainty, and while she told herself that his words didn’t mean he didn’t want to try to make them work, it still felt like that.

  This was fun while it lasted was what she’d heard.

  I don’t want to get serious with you.

  Don’t count on me, and don’t count me in.

  Her friends were good-looking guys who got hit on a lot. Not a newsflash by any means, but experiencing it last night while caked in mud, her insecurities flaring, took it to a whole new level.

  She’d already been wondering how she could compete with that, and if she was over two hours away…well, that’d be that.

  Say she didn’t get the job. Then she’d get to remain in her beloved hometown, but she’d get to do so with the knowledge that a few hours could make or break her and Tucker.

  That wasn’t any better.

  Now she had to go on with her day and pretend the illusion of her happy, far-from-lonely life where she was crazy about her boyfriend hadn’t been shattered. Not just pretend alone in her house, either, because once the clock struck six, she forced herself into her truck and started the drive to Tucker’s place so she could fake being okay in front of all her friends.

  Big freaking yay for poker night. Good thing I’ve had so much practice perfecting my poker face.

  Since the thought of anot
her one-on-one conversation where Tucker conveyed how not-serious they were made her want to vomit, Addie purposely showed up ten minutes late.

  Everyone was already settled, as she’d hoped they’d be, and she slid into her usual seat to the left of Tucker.

  “You clean up nice, Murph,” Shep said, and she smiled at him.

  “Thanks. How’s the ankle?”

  “Black and blue and hurts like a bitch, but I think I can at least walk down the aisle in two weeks.”

  She urged him to lift his pants leg so she could check on it. She grimaced at the swelling and colors but also thought he’d be mostly healed by the wedding.

  “What did Lexi say?” she asked, tossing in the ante so the game could get going.

  “I’ve only talked to her on the phone since it happened, so I didn’t exactly tell her.”

  Addie shook her head. “Of course you didn’t. You know she’s gonna find out.”

  “Tonight when she comes over, I’m sure.” Shep tossed a couple of chips into the center of the pile. “I was hoping if I gave it extra time, it’d miraculously heal some more.”

  “Just remember one thing…” Addie picked up the cards Easton had dealt her and peeked at them, keeping her expression carefully neutral. “It was all Ford’s idea.”

  “Thanks, Murph,” Ford said. “I appreciate it.”

  She winked at him. “Anytime.”

  Tucker nudged her with his elbow. Despite knowing it was going to hurt, she’d have to look at him eventually, so she figured she might as well get it over with.

  Sure enough, misery surged forward, rushing through her beat-up heart and trying to break the barrier she’d erected around it to prevent her emotions from spilling out.

  He didn’t say anything, and when she arched her eyebrows, he pressed his lips into a tight line and cocked his head, like she was the one being difficult.

  What was she supposed to do? Come over all broken and red eyed and beg him to try? To give them a real chance?

  So that he could repeat how not-serious they were. A big no thanks to that.

  Ignoring the fact that she did feel broken inside, she smothered those weak emotions the best she could and reached for a beer.