Ethans Fal

by Dee Palmer

  “Fine, but we are never all going to fit in Ethan’s Mini.” She protests like that is an actual obstacle.

  “You’re funny this morning Mrs. Stone…Patrick can drive you all down together and I will drive Ethan’s car down sometime tomorrow, might be the day after.” He is distracted by his buzzing phone. He raises a finger to the unfinished conversation. He takes the call and walks out of the kitchen.

  “You don’t mind me crashing with you for a few days?” Bethany turns to me. “I mentioned it to Daniel this morning, and since he didn’t freak, I sort of said you’d invited me. I may have laid it on a little thick that seeing you this weekend made me realise how much I’d missed you. Not a lie, by the way, but it would be great to spend a little time on the beach with Luca and you guys.” Luca is currently sporting an impressive face full of mushed up biscuit, very little appears to be going in but he doesn’t seem bothered. I look at Ada and her eyes are dull with residual sadness, but she is making the effort to smile. I really wanted the time in the car, but Bethany looks too excited by the idea of a getaway. It can wait until we are home…in bed. I may just have to use alternate measures to ensure she can’t escape.

  “Sure that would be great…but we have a party tomorrow night. I feel bad you’ll be on your own, but we can’t get out of it. My friend from school has rented a cottage at Rock and is having a big engagement party. I haven’t seen some of these guys for years–”

  “God, don’t be silly.” Bethany jumps in. “It’s not like it will stop me from clubbing or anything. This little one has pretty much curbed my wild nights.” Bethany wipes Lucas biscuit encrusted face, revealing a chubby rose-cheeked cherub.

  “Wild nights…you’re hilarious.” I mock. “You forget after a drunken night with Sofia I know all about your wild nights and doing a double shift at her father’s restaurant does not cut it…pretty sure your wild nights started the day you met–”

  “Me…and damn right!” Daniel strides back into the kitchen and tilts his wife's head back and holds her heated gaze. Ada and I flash a look of should we perhaps leave but he just kisses her forehead and goes to get a fresh coffee from the space station machine in the corner of the kitchen.

  It is a good job we are taking Daniel’s town car because there is no way we would fit everything in my Mini. How can such a small child need so much shit? Daniel is hugging Bethany, Luca is all strapped in his buckets seat and is already dozing. Ada is just about to climb into the back seat when I capture her hand and trace her knuckles with my lips. Her tongue sweeps her bottom lip and she gives a tentative smile. I can feel the tendrils of doubt creeping back in, trying to regain their hold from last night.

  “Hey, we will sort this out, Ada… But I need to know everything.” She swallows thickly, but she head her nods almost imperceptibly. “I need to hear the words, angel.” She straightens her shoulders like she is preparing for a herculean task.

  “Tonight…I’ll tell you everything tonight.” She lets out a stuttered breath but if anything she looks light for the weight of the burden suddenly lifted. I am glad, she doesn’t need to carry that for a moment longer. That is my job now.

  The drive is a nightmare and takes almost eight hours in the end, everyone is a little on edge not least because we are running out of entertainment options for a fractious six month old. When we reach the apartment it is like a military operation getting the car unpacked with the speed needed not to cause the road to be blocked any longer than absolutely necessary. We all heave a sigh of utter exhaustion when I close the apartment door. Patrick has gone to find a parking space and check-in to a Bed and Breakfast at the end of the road. Bethany is setting up the travel cot and Ada is staring glassy eyed into Luca’s as he hangs onto his bottle like it is the Holy Grail. I sit next to her and lift them both into my lap.

  “It’s going to be all right, Ada…you don’t have to do this alone. We’ll find Pip.” That was probably not the right thing to say while she’s feeding my nephew because her shoulders shake with a surge of sorrow. “I’m sorry, angel…don’t cry please, angel, don’t cry. You’re killing me here.” Her head falls to the side and rests on my shoulder. I turn to kiss her hair and the tears on her cheek. “You tell me everything and I promise to make it better.” My tone may sound a little harsh but the words are resolute.

  A little later, we manage a bottle of wine, although Bethany has the sparkling elderflower and we all enjoy a delicious feast of fresh battered fish and chips. Luca has been put down to sleep and I feel like an ungracious host, but all I want to do is get Ada alone. The opportunity comes when Bethany’s phone buzzes and her face pinks right up.

  “I’m going to take this in my room.” She waves good night–at last.

  Ada lets out a resigned sigh that sounds as sad as the soulful lost look in her eyes. “You know there is not much more to know, my story I mean, pretty much ended that day. But I know what you need to know and this is really hard for me.” She is hunched against the headboard, knees tucked to her chin. I shuffle behind her, my legs wrap around her, and my arms hold hers. I am the perfect human shield. She relaxes into my hold, which is an improvement on the almost impenetrable shell she tried to perfect last night. “Cal took fifty-thousand pounds from my father. I can only assume it was to buy into his uncle’s business. He had been saving what little he did earn and talked about that all the time. Said he didn’t care how long it took, it was worth it. His uncle was loaded but he didn’t give handouts–you wanted in, you had to pay. But Cal said it was best for our future, best for his future…” Her laugh is acrid and harsh; she pauses and is quiet for long minutes before she speaks again. “You want to know why I haven’t gone to the police. Why I can’t go.” Her body trembles but there are no tears. “My father is…he is an important man and he is ruthless when it comes to protecting the family name. I underestimated to what extent and paid too big a price–”

  “Ada you’re still Pip’s birth parent, you were underage. What they did was coercion to make you sign her away like that. It just wouldn’t stand up in a court.” I interrupt, I have to assume she doesn’t know this, and there is no other reason to leave it so long to fight for her baby.

  “I didn’t sign her away; Cal did that but if my father knew where I was, what I was trying to do, he would ruin me before I got the chance to tell the truth. I can’t risk going back. I have to find her on my own then when I am holding her, I can shout for justice. Because I fucking swear the only way they will ever take her from me again will be from my cold, dead arms.” Her voice is pitched with venom but she reins her anger back in with obvious difficulty. “You must hate me…I’m sorry I’m such a coward but I can’t go back!”

  “Fuck, Ada, how could you even think that…any of that…Fuck! You’re not a coward, Ada. Your father had you sedated for two years for fuck sake. Anyone would think twice before going up against that level of evil.”

  “Not you…you wouldn’t hesitate if it was your child…” Her voice is breaking with cries of desolation. “What kind of mother puts her own fears ahead of her child?” She tries to pull away, I can feel her hopeless fury and shame.

  “Ada, you’re being really hard on yourself…none of this is your fault.” I hold her because she is still struggling.

  “It doesn’t make it right though, does it? It doesn’t make what I’m doing any more forgivable. My baby could be anywhere…with anyone and I’m too–” She sobs so loud it drowns out her self damning words.

  “Shh, angel, shhh…there is nothing to forgive.” I can feel her rage like a living entity and I more than share her fury. I am conflicted about her methods, because she is right I can’t see a single thing that would stop me, but I also don’t doubt she feels every bit that this is her only choice. She may be too scared to face her father but she’s no longer alone or powerless. Any father, who could do that to his own daughter, is not a man but a monster and I have never been afraid of monsters.

  “We’ll do this together, angel…y
ou don’t have to be afraid of anything. You’re not alone anymore, Ada.” I kiss her hair and inhale all that is good and sweet about her fragile strength. “You’re mine.”

  ADA SPENT MOST of the day on the beach with Bethany and Luca, but the brief time we did get alone we agreed to wait until Bethany had returned to London before we decide what to do next. Having agreed to that however, I spent the morning trawling adoption websites, spoke to a lawyer, and arranged an appointment for mid-week. I asked Patrick if he could forward all the information he had collated so far. She is still reluctant to tell me her real name; she knows it is only a matter of time but I am impatient to wait much longer. Patrick’s team may have uncovered some details about her father. If I am honest, I don’t know what she is still so afraid of. I tried to explain the only power he has is the power she gives him by being so afraid.

  I have Luca bouncing on my knee and squealing like a piglet every time I dip him in a swoop drop. This kid’s laughter could crack a smile on the severest curmudgeon. He hasn’t developed enough of his features to look like either of his parents, but I don’t tell them that. This is just an adorable and very happy baby with huge blue eyes and a mass of unruly dark, spiky hair. Bethany is helping Ada get ready for tonight. Apparently because I mentioned the word party, Bethany had the foresight to pack extra options than Ada’s limited wardrobe would afford. But seriously Ada could wear a sack cloth and she would still outshine a super nova. She is simply the most stunning girl inside and out. She steps out of the bedroom and freezes when I almost drop the little one wriggling in my lap. Fuck! Bethany rushes over to rescue Luca and I stand slowly, my jaw aching from the drop.

  Ada is wearing a silver slip of a dress, which has spaghetti straps pulled into a halter neck, criss-crossed at the back, soft and flowing to her mid-thigh, and a drop scoop back that touches low at the base of her spine. I cannot believe Daniel has ever let Bethany wear this. My eyes slowly drop the length of her body, taking in every delicate detail: her smooth skin, subtle tan, and goose bumps when she recognises the heat in my glare. I let out a deliberate breath and thank God I had the presence of mind to wear tight boxer shorts and loose pants.

  She is wearing mid heeled wedges that also shimmer to match the dress. I can see her bandaged toe peeking out but the pain is obviously bearable. She has a jewel encrusted clutch bag, which must also belong to Bethany. It’s probably real diamonds, so I won’t share that bit of information or she won’t leave the apartment. Her dark hair is perfectly straight and hangs in a thick curtain over her shoulders but fails to conceal the vast quantity of exposed skin.

  “Shit! Ada, you look…” I am speechless and suddenly very uncomfortable with a deep ache starting at the base of my spine and heading directly to my balls..

  “She does, doesn’t she?” Bethany sighs beside me, rocking Luca in her arms.

  “There is no way Daniel lets you out in that?” I shake my head and lean to whisper to Bethany. I am still a little awestruck.

  “Not exactly. He did buy it though, only we never actually–never mind. Anyway Ada, you look gorgeous. I’m only sorry I don’t have a coat.”

  “Oh, don’t be silly. It’s really warm out, I’ll be fine.” Ada walks toward the door.

  “Yeah, because beach party in a dress that is barely more than underwear will keep you toasty warm.” I walk to get some coverage, not just for warmth but for my sanity. I return with a soft grey cashmere sweater. It will hang almost to her knees and will probably ruin the look Bethany was going for, but if someone so much as raises a salacious brow at her, she is going to be wearing it for the rest of the night. “Take this just in case we don’t get the tropical evening you are clearly anticipating.” She giggles as I try and drape it over her shoulders. My not so subtle attempt to keep that perfect skin for my eyes only.

  The drive takes just under an hour. As the crow flies it isn’t that far, but it is on the other side of the bay so we have to detour inland before making our way along the coast road. The sun is setting in spectacular form over the headland and I reach over to hold Ada’s hand. I can feel she is weighed down with the fallout from the last few days, but she squeezes my hand in return. I lift it to my lips.

  “I love you.” I kiss the palm of her hand. “I love you so fucking much, angel. There is nothing in the world that will change that or I won’t do to bring a smile to your face.” I kiss her hand once more and feel the tension leave her body. “This should be fun tonight and I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure that is exactly what she would be ordering right about now.” I nip the tip of her fingers with my teeth, and she shudders beside me. I flick the heater up on high even though I know it’s not the chilled air of the air conditioned car that makes her shiver.

  The house party is heaving and we abandon the car half-way along the private drive, edged by a sand dune on the right and the rippling waves of the estuary on the left. The two-story, stone built farm house is lit up like a Christmas tree. I squeeze Ada’s hand when she stiffens as we approach the back terrace. “This is going to be fun, Ada, relax for a bit; every worry you have will still be there in the morning and I will still be there then to take them all away.” I pull her into my arms and relish her soft form curving against me. Her arms link around my waist and she tips up to offer me her lips. A soft smile lights her face when she finishes her tender kiss and her whole frame relaxes.

  I keep a tight hold on her hand as we weave through the crowd. I recognise a few faces, some from school, others from travelling and living in London but I don’t see the host, Guy. We grab a few drinks and make our way to the deck overlooking the water. The music is not so loud here and there are some low level seating areas. We find a spot and take a seat.

  “You know you don’t have to stay with me. You should mingle a little, find your friend at least.” Ada is tucked against me and tilts her head up to see me roll my eyes.

  “He will find me and I’m not leaving you alone for a moment dressed like that.” I pull her a little closer trying to cover her with me. She chuckles but nestles into the crook of my arm. This is nice–no, this is perfect. I haven’t ever felt this…it isn’t a mystery to me anymore. I recognise it for what it is. I am utterly in love with this woman in my arms, everything about her makes my heart beat harder, makes me want to protect her and make her mine…forever. The encroaching darkness and soft twinkling lights completely heighten the romance of the setting but I don’t think my feelings have anything to do with the location. Or that being at an engagement party suddenly has me thinking of Ada as more permanent and integral to my future. She is my future, my now, my everything.

  I can’t explain the surge of protectiveness I felt when that was threatened. I had always thought I was more laid back in nature and predominately non-territorial when it came to women, but seeing Cal with her, the way he spoke…The only thoughts I had were murderous. We relax for a while and several people come and go–mostly passing acquaintances “Would you like another drink? I’m driving but you are more than encouraged to get a little tipsy.” I tease.

  She shuffles up and takes off her heels. “That would be great, same again, please…I’m just going to wander to the water’s edge. It looks eerie and peaceful, I can’t resist.” She turns to walk down the worn wooden steps but I grab her hand.

  “Don’t wander too far and don’t take any drinks from anyone.” I add with a firm voice.

  “Jeeze, Ethan, these are your friends…Don’t you trust them?” Her brows are furrowed and her voice is shocked.

  “Actually quite a few of these guests I have no idea who they are, and when it comes to you I don’t trust anyone.” My forceful tone brooks no comment but she does quirk an eyebrow in lieu of an eye roll I think.

  “No drinks…Got it.” She points a finger as if ticking off my request and disappears into the dark. My chest pinches when I can no longer see her. I decide to be quick, get the drinks, and then go and join her on the beach. I return in record time but before I reach the edg
e of the decking the host, Guy, grabs my shoulder and pulls me into a vigorous hug that nearly has his back drenched in white wine and coke. Guy was one of my best friends throughout school and while he went on to University, I travelled, then I worked for the family business. I did stay with him a few times over the years and I felt I definitely got a taste of the best bits of University life from these visits.

  “Ethan man, I knew you’d make it!” He looks around and waves his hand toward the rear of the house. “Have you seen the misses?” He points out the petite red haired woman shaking her head in some sort of head banging, air guitar montage to Living on a Prayer. “Fuck, can you believe I’m getting married?” He shakes my shoulders like it’s me that needs the sense knocked into him. The drinks spill a little on the decking and he looks apologetic but shrugs it off just as quickly.

  “Two weeks ago, I would’ve said no fucking way and taken you off to get you a CAT scan, but now…” I look out into the darkness sensing Ada just on the fringe of my awareness. I like that I can feel her presence and sure enough the silver sway of her dress catches the moonlight and my breath.

  “No fucking way!” Guy shouts out in utter shock. “You…you? You think you’re gonna be next? Seriously man, that’s fantastic!” He pulls me into another hug and I give up even trying to save what’s left of our drinks and I laugh.

  “She is…she really is.” I watch her carefully climb the steep steps, Guy’s back is to her and when she is close enough I pull her into my arms and hug her like she’s been gone too way long. “Guy this is Ada.” Guy’s eyes narrow but he doesn’t take her all in…just her face, which he scrutinises with such intensity. I would put it down to the drink, maybe he has had too many but Ada is like a statue.

  “Congratulations.” She finally speaks but her frame is rigid in my arms. She turns to me. “I’m going to use the bathroom, excuse me.” With that she is gone, practically sprinting across the makeshift dance floor.