In Their Father's Country
Page 20
One night, kept yet again awake by thoughts of Paris, she considered the matter from an angle that helped her put the idea out of her mind: she could not accept Aida’s offer because of her daughters. Even if she were up to the move, she would have to turn it down on their account. While her moving into a home might cause them some guilt, her being looked after by their cousin risked causing them a greater measure of it. They would be put in an awkward situation – a situation that would give them reasons to feel displaced in her affection for them and also remiss. She did not want that.
After that night, Claire’s agitation over Aida’s offer gradually subsided. She never once mentioned the offer to her daughters and asked Aida to do the same.
Claire’s Paris fantasy – as she would later refer to it – gave way to internal turmoil brought on by the question of whether to move into a home, or to gamble on being fit enough till the end to continue living in her apartment. That was not a speculative question. It too would give her sleepless nights, although, curiously, the Paris fantasy had been more agonizing. This made her wonder whether it was easier to resign oneself to the prospect of definite unhappiness than to some happiness almost but not quite within reach.
Epilogue
In the weeks leading to her death – there was no obvious sign of its imminence but for a strong feeling on her part that it was nearing – one thought, a question really, would take hold of Claire: if she was still lucid just before the very end, what would she be thinking of; who would be on her mind? Would she be trying to take stock of what this life of hers had amounted to? Would she have some last-minute illuminating insight? Or would she feel regret for the way she had dealt with the hand that was given her? Would she be thinking of those dear to her she was about to leave, or of those who had already left? Or of lines she had read and which had stayed with her, such as: ‘Love is not an inevitable part of life, it is only a circumstance, a crisis ... a terrible crisis ... it passes, and that’s all?’ or, ‘I like independence in everything.’ Might that be her last thought, she who had felt so constrained all along?
At the intensive-care unit of the hospital to which Claire was admitted after suffering heart failure, her daughters and Aida walk in and out of the room where Claire is hooked to tubes and machines, her heart still beating, thanks to the doctors’ efforts to keep her alive until her daughters’ arrival – all three of them. The doctors have succeeded, though Claire may have had something to do with it. The nurses are convinced she hung in there to get to see her daughters one last time, after which, in all likelihood, she will let go.
Because of the tubes, Claire cannot speak, but she can understand what is being said to her and, with her head and hand as well as through her eyes, she is able to respond.
When Charlotte asks her how she is feeling, her eyes say, ‘What sort of question is this? Cannot you see for yourself?’ But her hand gestures ‘so-so’ as her own ineptness when Uncle Yussef was dying – her mentioning celebrating his birthday – comes back to her.
For a brief moment she is alone with Aida and immediately grabs the opportunity to tell her – one hand serving as her voice – to disconnect her from the tubes and the machines. ‘Cut, cut, cut,’ says her hand. The intended meaning is unmistakable. ‘Cut, cut, cut,’ she gestures again with a pleading expression. The color draining from her already tired face, Aida takes Claire’s hand, the one that says, ‘Cut, cut, cut,’ and, with a voice meant to provide comfort and convey conviction, she says, ‘But Aunt Claire, you’re over the worst, you’ll improve, you’ll see. You have already improved.’ Claire frowns.
Half an hour later, alone with Djenane, Claire repeats the ‘Cut, cut, cut’ gesture – this time her expression is resolute. All that Djenane can think of saying is, ‘But Mother, what are you asking me to do? Be reasonable. The doctor will be coming any time now.’ Claire turns her face away from her daughter and closes her eyes. She keeps them shut while Djenane talks at random, hoping to keep her mother interested in life. She keeps them shut when, later, each one of her daughters and Aida give her a kiss, saying that they are going to their hotel to rest and will be back in a couple of hours. It is just after dawn when they leave. It happens to be Election Day. The Muslim Brothers, running as independents, are expected to do well.
Twenty minutes later Claire’s ninety-six-year-old heart stops beating. The doctors on duty, alerted by beeping machines, decide to do nothing. Over the course of the night, they have seen Claire’s three daughters and niece stream in and out of her room.
Glossary
ahwa
coffee shop.
al-Azhar
the oldest institution of higher learning in the Muslim world.
bac (baccalauréat)
French high school diploma.
bâtons salés
salted snacks.
bawab
doorman.
Bey
Turkish official rank below that of Pasha, and like it, also used in an honorific sense, even after both titles were abolished in 1952.
Cicurel
a department store.
Darb al-Geneina
(Alley of the Garden), a neighborhood created in the nineteenth century below the citadel for the elite and the functionaries of the Khedive (the title of the viceroy of Egypt from 1867 to 1914).
Dinshawai
village in the Delta close to which on June 13, 1906, a pigeon-shooting outing by British officers resulted in a fracas between the officers and the villagers.
Free Officers
the group of officers who engineered the 1952 coup d’état and overthrew King Faruq.
galabeyah
ample robe-like outer garment.
Greenshirts
paramilitary organization modeled on fascist youth leagues. Activist wing of the Young Egypt party (Misr al-Fatat).
hallawa
halva; sweet made of sesame.
higab
head covering.
Ikhwan
(Brothers). The term refers to the society of Muslim Brothers founded in 1928.
Ismailiya
a city on the Suez Canal founded in 1861 under Khedive Ismail as a depot for the canal excavation.
Khawaga
term used colloquially to refer to or address westerners and members of Egypt’s foreign minorities.
Maglis al-Umma
National Assembly.
Mazmazel
Egyptian pronunciation of the French word ‘mademoiselle.’
mehalabeyah
milk pudding.
melayah
black sheet of cloth in which mainly working-class women wrap themselves when they go out.
midan
square.
Midan Ismailiya
square in the heart of downtown Cairo named after Khedive Ismail under whose rule it was laid out. The square was renamed Midan al-Tahrir (Liberation Square) after the coup of July 1952.
Mufatescha
Inspector.
Om
mother.
Osta
‘Master.’ The term is often used with reference to a cook or the master of a craft or a trade as well as to address or refer to, respectfully, older men without much formal education.
Rivos
Egyptian brand of aspirins.
Sayidah Zeinab
Working- and lower middle-class district of Cairo.
Sirdar
Persian title brought to Egypt by the British to denote the commander-in-chief of the Anglo-Egyptian army.
Sitt
Mrs.; Madam; lady.
suffragi
butler.
‘ud
string musical instrument.
Ustaz
Mr.
Wafd
(Delegation). A delegation formed at the close of World War I to present the case for Egypt’s independence to the British government and the Versailles Peace Conference. It was organized as a parliamentary party in 1924.