we even lost the suitcase that held everything we had.
whatever happens now, it can’t be as bad.
Librarian
it’s Monday
Dana
I know that
Librarian
I’m just saying that it is technically, it is Monday lunchtime and you are nowhere near Alexandria
Beat.
Dana
maybe I can speak to them on the phone. You can rearrange these things. When we tell them what has happened to us on our journey they will understand.
Librarian
of course they will.
Beat.
you sold your phone to pay for Jasmine’s treatment
Dana
I know I sold my phone
do you have to tell me everything that I already know?
Librarian
so how are you going to call?
Dana
I’ll work it out
Librarian
there aren’t many phone boxes that are working
Dana
I said I’ll work it out
Librarian
and anyway you need a coin
Dana
thank you so much
Librarian
do you want a book to help you?
Dana
no thanks
Librarian
sure?
Dana
absolutely
no fucking books
Librarian
you have to go through lots of countries to get to Alexandria, so anyway even if you do manage to make a call –
Dana
we can go through lots of countries
Librarian
the borders are shut. Istanbul has shut its borders one way, Alexandria the other
all of Europe is trying to get out
Dana
they’ll let us through
Librarian
you think
why you?
Dana
I have a presentation to give. When I explain they will let us through
Librarian
it’s quite different over there. Better
of course everyone wants to get through
Dana
well that means when we get there, things will be easier
when we get there
Librarian
when you call them maybe you should ask them for
some kind of identification. Something that says they invited you
I’m just thinking ahead
Dana
OK I’ll ask them
Beat.
do you think there are going to be any cars coming by this way? when did you last see a car?
Librarian
why do you want a car, you won’t get a lift.
Dana
is there anything constructive you could say?
Librarian
Jasmine is anaemic.
she needs some iron.
Dana
I know that.
Beat.
Librarian
I’m just saying if you don’t get her some help soon, parts of her will start to fail –
Dana
could you look it up on a database, when did the last car drive past on this particular piece of road?
Librarian
here?
Dana
yes
Librarian
alright
Dana
I saw people begging.
I saw a pile of people –
Librarian
I didn’t see that
Dana
well, you were looking the wrong way
haven’t you got a book about it?
Librarian
extreme poverty, yes. I believe I have
Dana
the sort where you have to sell your children?
Librarian
yes, there are various titles in that series
Dana
what are they called?
Librarian
there are lots of them, volumes and volumes
new ones coming out all the time. Do you want a new release?
Dana
back there. There was a tiny little toddler they put out to do the begging for them.
Librarian
that’s probably a story told in an appendix somewhere
Dana
they didn’t even do the begging themselves.
Librarian
common these days
Dana
I went up to the toddler and asked him where his parents were, but they weren’t there. They just left him on the road
Librarian
maybe they had other things to do
Dana
what other things?
he was their toddler
what other things are there?
Librarian
I don’t know.
I’m sure I have got a book about other things that people might be doing
Dana
how could they have left him there. Right by the roadside?
Librarian
don’t ask me
Dana
that doesn’t happen
no one does that.
Librarian
look around you.
do you recognise a single thing any more?
Dana looks around.
Dana
maybe it wasn’t their toddler
Librarian
maybe.
Beat.
Dana
is there a guidebook to this place?
Librarian
there is a guidebook to every place.
Dana
what is it called here then?
Librarian
I don’t think it has a name.
Dana
it’s hell then
it might have been Europe yesterday.
I asked the man in the shop if he would give me some water. I asked the woman by the tap. I just want some water
Librarian
technically the water situation is complicated, and a bit political
Dana
it’s really fucking screwed, isn’t it?
there was nothing in the shop because everyone had gone crazy and grabbed it for themselves. The police aren’t being paid any more so they don’t care. They are doing most of the grabbing. You ask someone to help you they will just knife you.
Beat.
people did use to care, didn’t they? We didn’t just imagine it.
Librarian
they did use to, yes
Beat.
to cut a long story short. There’s no petrol in the pumps, of course there are no cars. I don’t have a book but a very nicely written article about it. With photos. There is hardly any petrol in most of the old eurozone countries so people have started to use a bicycle.
the bicycle has made a resurgence
those that have one
Dana
where the fuck will I get a bicycle from?
Librarian
I am not saying you should get a bicycle, I am just saying people are resilient. They use what they have
Dana
this is resilience?
Beat.
what am I going to do with her?
Librarian
I can’t carry her. I’ve got all the books can she walk?
Dana
I don’t know.
She sits down next to Jasmine.
were you asleep?
Jasmine
maybe a little
Dana
we need to try to get to the border. Then we can still get to the presentation.
If I can do the presentation I can get the job. I can get the job, I can get us out of this.
Jasmine
will they have a place where I can rest?
Dana
yes, I think that is exactly what they’ll have
Jasmine
after the p
resentation?
Dana
exactly.
Jasmine
we don’t have any money
don’t you need money to get to the border?
Dana
I don’t think so
Librarian
technically, you do
Dana
please shut up.
Jasmine
you do need money, Dana
Dana
alright, but don’t worry about it, I’ll get us some money. I’ll get a short-term loan if necessary, we can pay it back when I get the job.
Jasmine
you can’t get a loan
Dana
I’ll get a loan
can you stand up?
Jasmine
when we see the doctor we could ask him to check the baby as well. Could we?
Dana
the baby?
Librarian
you didn’t tell her?
Dana
I did tell her
Jasmine
do you think there are still doctors?
Dana
you lost the baby, love
Jasmine
no
Dana
Jasmine honey, you lost the baby.
Beat.
Jasmine
don’t be silly, that’s just a joke
Dana
no
Jasmine
no?
Dana
sorry.
Jasmine
oh yes. I lost the baby. I keep forgetting.
silly of me to forget something like that. Just when it comes, when we have it in our arms?
we won’t put it out to beg for us, would we?
Dana
but we won’t
Jasmine
no, we won’t
Beat.
Dana
I mean we wouldn’t even if we could
Jasmine
what?
Dana
we haven’t got the baby any more. The baby was just blood
Jasmine
are you sure?
Dana
I’m sure
Jasmine
you always say the meanest things. I don’t know
whether to believe you. Why won’t we have it in our arms?
Dana
Jasmine sweetheart –
Jasmine
I know I know it’s gone.
you said it’s gone. I just have to keep remembering.
why can’t I keep remembering?
Dana
please stay strong
Jasmine
I am strong
Dana
I have to get you to the border
Librarian
you need money to get to the border
Dana
will you stop saying that –
I know we haven’t got money but we’ll get some
Jasmine
I don’t even want to go to the border. I’m happy here, in the dust
can’t I just lie down here and forget about it all.
Dana
I don’t think you should do that.
Beat.
Sit up. Sit up, Jaz
you remember how you always looked after me, and you always had this strength whatever happened, you could be steady, and stable and –
Jasmine
let me lie down –
Dana (to the Librarian)
can you look after her?
while I go and get some money
Librarian
yes
Dana
just make sure no one hurts her
Librarian
you said you wouldn’t
Dana
I know what I said
Librarian
he will have won
Dana
he has won. He has reduced us to nothing. He won.
look at us, he fucking won.
will you look after her or not?
Librarian
you’ll need some books
Dana
I don’t need books
Librarian
I think you should have them, there are things that are going to help you in these books
Dana
like what?
Librarian
taking your clothes off in front of a stranger
Dana
I’ve done that before
Librarian
The Economics of Selling Oneself
Dana
hardly
Librarian
How to Look Like You Are Enjoying Something while Your Skin Is Repelled
Dana
OK I’ll take that.
Librarian
How to Stop Gagging with Someone’s Putrid Penis in Your Mouth
I think you should take this one too.
How to Make Sure You Don’t Get Strangled. How to Not Get a Disease that Will Kill You. How to Stay Alive during Prostitution.
She takes the books.
one final one, How to Forget the Whole Thing Once It Is Over
Dana
I won’t forget the whole thing
Librarian
there are some really good books on self-meditation.
Self-hypnosis. Letting everything go.
Dana
look after my beautiful sister Jasmine. Would you please do that?
EIGHTEEN
Dana lifts her clothes up, rips at them to make herself look more alluring.
A man comes along. He throws a blanket and a horrible old pillow on the floor.
Dana tries to pin him down on price before they start.
Dana
my price is 45 euros.
Punter
you have to be kidding
Dana
45 euros and I’ll give you a good time
Punter
have you done this before?
Dana
yes
Punter
only a line like that, people don’t use it.
Dana
do you want to do this or not?
Punter
of course, but a ‘good time’, don’t say that. And 45 euros, sorry to say, 45 euros and you get someone a bit more –
Dana
what?
Punter
well-kept, don’t want to be rude but
someone whose hair doesn’t look like it is already falling out.
Dana
25 then
Punter
15
Dana
that’s too little, you don’t know what I am giving you
Punter
I am pretty sure I do
I am pretty sure I know exactly.
Dana
I have a sister who isn’t well, I have to get her out of here
Punter
we all have to get out of here.
you think everyone isn’t desperate to get out of this place?
15 or nothing
Dana
17
Punter
sorry not interested
Dana
alright. 15
He laughs.
Punter
how about 1o?
Dana
you just said 15
Punter
I like this, aren’t you enjoying this bit?
Dana
devil, is this you?
Punter
what?
Dana
if this is a game –
Punter
I thought we were talking about a price
Dana
we are. Ten.
Punter
let’s see what you’ve got then.
Dana starts to take off her clothes. She is embarrassed.
Dana
will you take off your clothes too?
Punter
eventually.
Dana
only I feel a bit –
Punter
you
really aren’t used to this, are you?
Beat.
Dana takes her shirt off.
Underneath the birthmark is all over her.
Punter
what’s wrong with you?
Dana
nothing
Punter
that mark all over you, what is it?
Dana
it’s just a birthmark
I was born with it.
Punter
never seen a birthmark like that before.
He comes towards her.
does it hurt?
Dana
no
Punter
it’s like a tattoo
I like it.
Dana
do you?
Punter
what do you do?
Dana
what do you want?
Punter
I want everything. All ways.
don’t worry, when you see what I’ve got, you’ll have a smile on your face
She kisses him.
more
She starts to caress him through his clothes.
more
She unzips his trousers.
more
She takes his cock into her mouth.
He grabs her hair and pulls her back.
He pulls up her skirt, violent suddenly, and enters her.
The sex is brutal, almost rape.
It hurts her.
It hurts her more and more with every thrust.
Dana tries to stand up, she talks to the Interviewers.
Dana
for my presentation I wanted to speak about the customer experience. How the customer experience can affect the moment of money transfer. If the customer has been satisfied, then the handing over of money can prove more
She finds it difficult to continue.
it can prove more …
She is sore, she has been brutally treated.
if the encounter has been seen to be a good one then the customer –
She looks about her.
why won’t you talk to me any more?
where are you? Devil, I know you are still there
The lights from the interview come on.
Dana
is that you?
Interviewer 1
Ms Edwards?
Dana
oh
Interviewer 2
can you hear us?
Dana
yes
Interviewer 1
we were expecting you last Monday.
Dana
I’m sorry about that
Interviewer 3
is that all you have to say?
Dana
I got held up
Interviewer 2
if we are to hold this research grant for you –
Dana
I’ll be there
Interviewer 3
How to Hold Your Breath Page 7