Forbidden (The Gabriel Lennox Series Book 1)

by M. L. Desir

  “So, I’m to blame for her death. You make it sound like my gift of life was a curse. That’s why I dare not Enlighten another person.”

  Nathaniel shook his head. “No, I believe there was always something perverse and dangerous about your sister. Your actions had nothing to do with it. I feared for your life, after she died that second time. I feared for your sanity. So I willed you to sleep. And you did for a very long time.” The way he stressed the words implied that he had slept for more than a decade, longer than a century.

  “Impossible,” Gabriel denied. “I’ve had memories of walking throughout different parts of the world. Different times. Memories, Nathaniel!”

  “I planted those memories. Well, most of them. I did it to protect you.”

  He backed away from Nathaniel until he leaned against a wall, the only thing holding him up. He slumped against it, trembling with a mixture of emotions. Mostly rage.

  Impossible.

  Nathaniel waved his hand at him. “Gabriel, where is all of this sudden passion coming from?”

  “I’ve been to Leigh, Seth’s maker. He has told me a great many disconcerting things. Old laws which I call myths and about . . . soul bonds.”

  “Hmm. Soul bonds. A fate worse than death.”

  “Is that all you have to say?”

  Nathaniel smiled, his pale blue eyes gleaming as he retold the fairy tale and when Gabriel insisted that he stop, he did only after he came to the part about the Friend rotting on the inside.

  “Tell me Nathaniel, what part of the puzzle do you fit into?”

  His bright smile dimmed into a perfect grimace. “I?”

  “Yes, the story. The fairy tale. You told me that the prince wasn’t me, but whether it be metaphor or allegory, it doesn’t matter. He represents me.”

  “And how is the prince like you?”

  “In the story, everything the Prince touches becomes tainted somehow. And Colin was such an innocent. Fate had been cruel to him. And I don’t think Enlightening him has made him any better.”

  “Innocent? Was he? If you recall, Gabriel, the night I brought you to Colin, he had killed a man just as he had nearly killed that child.”

  “It was self-defense. The man had probably tried to hurt him—tried to rape him,” The argument sounded weak, even to Gabriel. He knew of his Colin’s past. “And the child . . . Colin’s intentions. They were . . .” He fell silent. Good intentions can sometimes lead one to hell. He knew that Colin was a murderer. He bit his bottom lip.

  Nathaniel looked over him from head to toe in one of his pale, blue-eyed sweeps. “Is it a fight that you want?”

  “No. I want the truth.”

  “The truth can be as selective as memories, Gabriel. Be careful what you try to remember. You may not like it.”

  “I remember you. And when I met you for the first time, face to face, after they had died, I sensed in the back of my mind that I knew you. Knew you.” Gabriel paused and looked at him. “How old are you, Nathaniel?”

  He blinked. “I don’t remember.”

  “Then I shall remember for us and put the pieces together. I believe you to be very old. Far older than I, because like some god, some Apollo, you’re able to read from the pages of tomorrow before the words have even been written. Not remarkable, though. You’re the type that not only watches, but observes. You don’t only listen—you hear. They say that the Devil can see into our souls, our desires. It only appears that way because the Devil has had plenty of time to study us in order to tempt us.”

  Gabriel paused before he continued. “The prince’s friend in the fairy tale is said to rot on the inside. Tell me, are you that friend? Or is it Mikel? How about Colin?” Gabriel asked, voice rising. “He’s described as beautiful inside and out and that he’ll become as terrible as he is beautiful. The night I Enlightened him, Mikel told me that he found great pleasure in Genevieve’s death. Sometimes, I see that dark look in his eyes when he’s dancing the waltz. What if he acquires an irresistible taste for killing?”

  Nathaniel stared at him with his wintry blue eyes. “Like you killed Annabelle, the prostitute? I don’t see you on the streets of London staking any more women.”

  “And I don’t regret it. Is that why you keep bringing it up? Besides, I don’t recall any assassination attempts on the prince in the fairy tale.”

  Nathaniel made a sound in between a snort and a low chuckle, a wild, dark sound, like a nightmare lurking in mad dreams. “You’re so funny. Don’t you understand anything? The fairy tale is a story riddled with symbolism. It’s not a prophecy written in stone. Lilith commanded that you cross mortals over. You, as I’ve said before, are our conduit. You have the power to give life to what is dead. We care not to keep this in secret. We desire that all come to the knowledge of the mystery of death in life. Play your part, and I will do mine.”

  “We? That’s exactly it. I want to know where you stand. What part do you play?”

  Nathaniel rose up. “I stand by the one who has the power.”

  “What about loyalty?” Gabriel shook his head. “I suppose after a few centuries, one could lose that amongst other virtues.”

  Silence fell, the pause heavy with uncertainty, like the brief moment between the thunder rumbling and just before the lightning strikes. He could understand. He could see how much of a disappointment he appeared to be in the eyes of others. After only Enlightening Mikel and Colin, he didn’t have enough for a battalion, especially when he needed a legion of his own Chosen. A disappointment, but not a failure.

  “I am loyal to you, Gabriel,” Nathaniel whispered, “but in my own way.”

  Gabriel turned his eyes to the ceiling, unable to comment. He turned all of his attention to the scene outside the window. The rain had made a dreamy shimmering effect, streaking like silver threads against the eastern sky. Dawn approached and with it, sleep.

  Who was he to choose who was to live or to die?

  Who was he to choose who could live forever?

  Nathaniel moved to stand directly behind him. “Don’t lose the power as your parents did. Hold fast to it, and I shall stand by you, my Prince.”

  “Perhaps I don’t want you by my side,” Gabriel countered. “It proves to be more harm than good.”

  “Kill Seth, and be on your guard,” Nathaniel went on, unabashed. “You must break the blood bond that he tricked you into before you kill him. Otherwise, the trauma of his death will be too great for you. It could fare far worse than death—”

  “You know that I have already tried!” Gabriel cut in angrily.

  “I never said it would be easy.” Then he vanished, leaving Gabriel alone.

  CHAPTER 31

  Pardon the Traitors

  GABRIEL DROPPED INTO the chair beside the fireplace within earshot of Mikel and Nikolai’s tutoring session. Their murmurings about nocturnes, concertos, and so on and on were simply empty noise, like the rolling of the ocean’s waves, the hollow music of the wind through the trees.

  Exhaustion, thick and heavy, restrained him, but he dare not sleep. He longed to be alone, but he dared not go to his room, which didn’t do him much good because for the first time, he felt it watching him, patiently waiting for his next move, as if he had all the time in the world. He. Beautiful Light. The power that aided Seth. Was it the blood bond that he felt? Or both?

  Not knowing made him miserable.

  Thirst pierced through him, making it hurt to swallow. When he closed his eyes, he saw the luscious shade of red, as if blood masked his eyes, and after opening them, a red haze veiled everything in his sight. He knew what his body ached for, but he wouldn’t surrender to that desire. His will was far greater.

  Colin strode into the room and announced Lilith’s arrival. He had sent for her. He needed questions answered, his trouble eased. She hadn’t come alone. Alexander and Faron glided into the room w
ith her. And Sevien. Gabriel blinked hard a couple of times as if doing so would make the image disappear, but it didn’t. Pity.

  Lilith coquetted, glancing around the room, until Colin pulled a chair from along the wall for her to sit in. Alexander and Faron declined the invitation of seats and stood by her side like knights. All four were dressed in shades of blue and cream.

  “Beautiful Light,” Gabriel said to her. “Who or what is he?”

  Lilith’s face went black. “Where did you hear that name?”

  “From Seth. I believe he’s trying to make some bond with him—this being. A soul bond?” Gabriel paused, a new thought occurring. “Or perhaps it’s the other way around.”

  Sevien narrowed his eyes. “If this is so,” he said, “then there’s no hope for you to defeat him.” His jeweled-colored eyes swept over Gabriel from head to toe, in a slow meticulous manner, lingering on his throat. The appraisal made him tremble. “Unless,” Sevien went on, “unless you were to form a soul bond as well.”

  “What the Devil’s the matter with you?” he snapped. “I have had my experience of bonds up to the hilt, and you expect me to go deeper into yet another?”

  Sevien smiled. “If you expect to win—yesss,” he said, hissing the “s” like Nathaniel.

  “What’s the point of winning if I’m to lose someone I cherish?” He looked surprised, which made Gabriel smile. “Yes, I know what a soul bond entails.”

  Sevien stared at him.

  “Do you,” Gabriel asked, “recall the name Leigh? No? But then again, he probably went by another name.” Sevien’s eyes flashed with something. Recognition? “I had a little talk with this Leigh, and I’ve come to an interesting conclusion. You were the one that Enlightened him, weren’t you?”

  Sevien’s face went blank. “Is this Leigh blind?”

  “As you say,” Gabriel replied.

  His face hardened. “I don’t know the man.”

  Gabriel sighed. “Strange. After speaking with him, I also realized that you’re much older than you would like me to believe. Why lie?”

  “Deception is only used to deceive, my Prince,” Colin interjected.

  Gabriel nodded. “A fitting answer.”

  Sevien cocked his head to the side. “An answer that proposes another question: When, my Prince, is it safe to trust anything that a liar speaks? You insinuate that I’m unable to speak the truth, so why waste your time asking me things you know I won’t answer honestly?”

  Gabriel didn’t answer him. Instead, he shifted his gaze to Lilith. “I accept the Principality,” he told her. “But I do none of this for you. This is for me. Likewise, I shall pardon those who have sided with Seth.”

  Lilith smiled. “As you wish. But no mercy for Seth. You’ll have to kill him.”

  Alexander patted Lilith’s shoulder. “Gabriel has tried, my Lady, but without success. The blood bond makes it almost impossible. I believe that’s why Seth initiated one in the first place. A clever fellow, he is.”

  “Pardon the traitors?” Faron asked in a tone that suggested something absurd. “You should just kill them all as well.”

  Alexander nodded. “We shall assist, but don’t you know what happens when you give your enemy a friendly back?”

  “It’s a good place to thrust a knife,” Faron added.

  Gabriel gave a bow of his head and smiled. “Your warnings are appreciated, but how will I draw out the goats from the sheep?”

  Alexander’s violet eyes turned up to the ceiling, a thoughtful expression on his face. Faron simply scowled at the floor. Gabriel wondered if he had acquired Leigh’s gift and how it worked exactly. Using it to test the hearts of the traitors would prove to be invaluable.

  He covered his mouth and yawned. “No solutions on that matter? Good. Then you are not to lay a finger on anyone. Understood?”

  Alexander stooped to one knee. “Yes, my Prince.”

  Faron stood his ground and simply nodded. “I shall make no promises that I may have to break depending upon the actions of others.”

  “Fine. Return here tomorrow at sunset,” Gabriel replied. ‘I shall have you send out invitations to all of the Chosen.”

  Lilith turned her head like a lily toward moonlight, a sly smile on her lips. “Parties can be exhausting. Will you be able to entertain? You look . . . ghastly.”

  “And do I owe that honor to you?”

  Her smile lost some of its arrogance.

  “Humans let cows graze on grass in order to fatten them, slaughter them, and then eat them,” Gabriel said. “There’s a certain kind of order to the world. The Chosen feed off of the humans. What do you suppose feeds off of the Chosen?”

  “That’s an interesting development,” Sevien said. “But it won’t help you to win.”

  Gabriel smiled smugly. “Then you must give assistance. The blood bond—”

  “Ah, are Alexander and Faron not enough? Then Sevien will assist as well. But first,” Lilith said, “you must drink.” With one of her sharp fingernails, she opened up a vein in her upturned wrist.

  Gabriel wrenched his head away from her. “No.”

  CHAPTER 32

  Fire Dancer

  GABRIEL STARED AT THE YOUNG PROSTITUTE sitting on the couch, hands clasped in her lap. She grinned up at him, twirling a strand of curly brown hair around her finger.

  He fixed his eyes on her, willing her to relax, and when her eyes glazed over, he told her to go to sleep. He sank down into the chair next to her. He took her wrist to his lips and bit into it. He drank until his grogginess lifted.

  “I don’t understand why you don’t like to drink,” Colin said. “Is it because you feel like you’re a murderer? A monster?”

  Gabriel smiled. “Not at all. It’s because I choose not to be a slave to anything. When I was human, I ate to survive. I didn’t live to eat. And now, if I’m immortal, why should I rely on anything but myself? My will. Do you understand?”

  “You’re very noble.” Colin raised his hands in front of his face, and scarlet flames blossomed when he flexed his fingers. “But it’s obvious that blood revitalizes us. Assist us.”

  “Yes,” he admitted, halfheartedly.

  “But where do you suppose,” Colin said thoughtfully, “this power came from?”

  The fire danced along Colin’s fingertips. The image of a youth with long, blonde hair standing beneath a tree flashed into his mind. Its branches were laden with amber-colored fruit, shimmering in the moonlight. Wind rustled through the bright green leaves and seemed to whisper, “Enlightened with the forbidden.” He pushed the vision from his mind.

  “I have no idea,” Gabriel replied. “But I do know how I shall use it to my advantage. Tell me, Colin,” he continued, turning to look at the boy full in the face, “can you make those flames larger?”

  “How large?”

  He steepled his hands in front of him, elbows resting on the arms of the chair, smiling wider. “Hmmm. Man-sized.”

  Colin’s eyes lit up with understanding. He let out a loud burst of laughter. “You’re making a liar out of me, Master Gabriel. I do recall saying that I wouldn’t maim or kill anyone for you.”

  Gabriel smiled. “Oh, they’re not just anyone. They’re traitors.”

  Colin frowned. “But you said that we weren’t to kill them.”

  “And I meant what I said. But,” he went on, “if your gift is necessary, don’t hold back.”

  “No need to explain,” Colin whispered. “I know that Alexander and Faron are our allies, but I fear their desires don’t match yours completely. That could cause problems.”

  “Could, but for the time being, let us worry over what’s in the present and what’s certain.”

  “I didn’t think that anything was ever certain, Master.”

  Gabriel gave a bitter smile. “My point exactly.”

&n
bsp; * * *

  “No, for the thousandth time, you shall remain here,” Gabriel said as patiently as he could, but Nikolai didn’t seem to be listening.

  He reclined on the plush carpet of his bedroom, lining up his toy soldiers in armada formation against the wall. He stared at them for what seemed like a long time before flicking them over one by one. He laughed an eerie little chuckle. “I know that through the blood bond Seth has formed with you, he has accessed your dreams, your very mind. And I know that the seal I placed on you won’t last for much longer. In fact, it’s already breaking.” His tone turned serious. “I know more than you think I know.”

  Gabriel stared at him, ignoring his veiled threat.

  “Remember when I told you “no” about giving you my powers? I didn’t say it to be rebellious. I said it because drinking my blood isn’t enough. After all, you’ve already done that, so the truth speaks for itself.”

  Gabriel frowned, face growing hot.

  “There are bonds,” Nikolai went on, “and then there are bonds. . .”

  “About tonight, my answer is still no.”

  Nikolai looked up at him and grinned. “If I were an old trout like you,” he said, “you’d let me go to the party. I know you would. What if I were to grow up this instant in front of your very eyes, would you let me attend your party? Would you?” The grin had vanished from the child’s face. In his eyes, a black, stormy look smoldered, and his brows knit in fury. He didn’t look so adorable anymore.

  Gabriel’s skin prickled as the boy bored into him with his gold-flecked eyes. “Calm down, Nikolai. Be reasonable. What’s taking place tonight isn’t really a party. Therefore, you have no reason to be disappointed. And most certainly not angry.”

  “That’s not the reason I’m angry. I promised myself that I would protect you, and you’re making me break my own promise. You’re a terrible old trout!” Nikolai stared at one of the toy soldiers and it went flying across the other side of the room, collided into a wall, and fell lifeless to the floor. He gave Gabriel a sidelong look that made his blood run cold.