Save Steve

by Jenni Hendriks

  “Yes!” I said way too eagerly. Nobody ever sent me notes or told me secrets. It really didn’t matter what it was. It was a Kaia secret!

  “I actually like the idea of a totally old-school, cheesy, super romantic prom.” I could see the vision of it in her eyes as she spoke.

  “You do?” Could I live up to that fantasy? My concerned face must have looked to her like judgment.

  “Nuh-uh. Don’t be one of those people who doesn’t think it’s possible for a girl to be super into sparkles and saving the world.”

  I scrambled to recover. “No, I mean, I like prom.” She needed to know that I was on board with her super cheesy prom if I was going to make it our super cheesy prom. “Who doesn’t like prom? It’s the one time we get to be cheesy.”

  “Right?” she agreed emphatically. But then her face fell, and she sat back. “Though I have no idea if Steve will even be well enough to go.”

  “Oh . . . No . . .” I tried to find sadness in my voice, but it just wasn’t there. Was she giving me an opening? Holy crap. Did she want me to take her, just in case?

  “And I already bought a dress . . .”

  Oh my god, she was. She’d mentioned her dress and not being sure she could go and how much she loved prom. Those were almost all the green lights! Did I really need her to say, Cam, will you just freakin’ ask me to prom already?

  My stomach lurched, but that could just be my digestive system trying to manage the massive sludge of food I’d just eaten.

  “Can Cam Webber please come to the field?”

  Hold on. Had I just imagined that I was being called onto the soccer field so I could avoid asking Kaia out? That was a fun new twist in my anxiety.

  “Did they just call for you?” Kaia asked, at least confirming I wasn’t hallucinating.

  “I don’t think—”

  “Cam Webber, please join us on the soccer field,” the PA announcer repeated.

  Kaia gave me a confused look. “Filling in as goalie?”

  Grass crunched under my feet as I stepped onto the field. The stadium lights painted everything a bright, ghostly white. I squinted, waiting for my eyes to adjust. Someone was standing at center line.

  “Hello, San Buenaventura High School! Have you missed me?” The voice boomed out over the crowd. There was an immediate answering roar. Beside me, Kaia gave a surprised gasp. My stomach roiled, and I suddenly felt every bite I’d taken of the burgers threatening to return. Steve Stevenson stood on a small platform in the center of the field, wielding a wireless mic as he paced back and forth in front of the crowd. “I know. I know. You’re probably like, what? This guy has cancer? No way! He’s so sexy!” Steve flexed a bit, showing off. The crowd tittered. “But tonight is not about my abs . . .” He lifted the corner of his shirt. The crowd screamed. “. . . or my guns . . .” He flexed his biceps. More screaming. “. . . or the fact that I can deadlift three hundy.” Catcalls and whistles. Steve smiled appreciatively, then grew serious. “No. I’m here for something even more amazing.”

  Putting the mic back on the stand, Steve hopped off the stage and strode to where Kaia and I stood frozen, probably for very different reasons. She wore an expression of stunned delight. I was fairly certain mine was just stunned. Steve reached us and took Kaia and me by the hands, pulling us toward the platform.

  “How are you—Why? Where did—I can’t—” Kaia stuttered breathlessly as Steve pulled us along. Yes, I thought. All those questions. Steve dragged us to the mic.

  “I’m not dying,” he whispered in Kaia’s ear while looking right at me. His eyes glinted with amusement. “I can do fun stuff.” Before I could wonder what he considered “fun stuff,” Steve threw his arm around me, grabbed the microphone again, and addressed the crowd. “I’m here to support my buddy Cam and his latest insane stunt that he posted on SaveSteve.org tonight!” People reached for their phones, a murmur of interest rising. I turned to Steve.

  “But . . . I changed the password!” I whispered.

  Steve covered the mic with his hand and leaned in close. “Camdog, you seem to think that just because I am popular and way more attractive than you, I am also a brainless toolshed. I assure you, I am not.” It occurred to me then that Steve was in all my AP classes and even some honors classes I wasn’t taking. How had I not realized this? Satisfied with my blank expression, Steve had turned back to the crowd. “Now, as the site says, Cam is inviting you all to come down and, for a small donation, roll him into the goal!”

  “What? Roll?” I looked around, frantic.

  Steve raised both arms in the air. “Bring out THE HAMSTER BALL!” His words thundered over the crowd. There was an answering cheer. Music played from the loudspeakers, and four smiling cheerleaders appeared, rolling a giant, clear plastic, inflatable ball, at least eight feet high. In the center there was a small circular hole big enough to squeeze through.

  Steve leaned close. “How are those burgers sitting, Cam my man?” And with that, Steve’s plan became brutally, vividly clear. I grabbed Steve’s arm.

  “I am not—” Then I belched. And tasted it. Oh god.

  Kaia leaned over. “Cam! Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve seen these on YouTube! This is such a great idea!” She was smiling at me. That warm, beautiful smile. Suddenly all I could think of was palm trees and ukuleles. Waves lapping at our bare feet. Paradise.

  “I . . . wanted to surprise you?”

  I was an idiot.

  “Whoa! Look at that!” I wrenched my gaze from Kaia’s. Steve was pointing to the crowd of twenty people who were now waiting at the base of the platform. They waved five-dollar bills in the air. “People really want to roll Cam!” Steve turned to Kaia. “Why don’t you collect the donations, Kai?”

  Kaia walked along the edge of the platform, taking money and getting people to form a line. “Only five bucks, Cam?” Her forehead creased with concern.

  “Yeah, I was surprised it was so affordable, too,” Steve said, and slapped me on the back.

  “. . . five?” I echoed. I wanted to cry.

  “But I can see the affordability is drumming up more excitement.” Steve gestured to the now massive line stretching back to the stands.

  Kaia nodded. “True. Right.” Her frown disappeared.

  With a shove Steve pushed me toward the waiting ball. “Time to get in, buddy!” I stared at the big plastic sphere, very much not wanting to get in. The field seemed impossibly long and wide, my stomach impossibly full. I forced back another nervous belch, but Steve noticed. His eyes twinkled. “Cam. Cam. Cam. Cam,” he began to chant.

  The crowd caught on. “Cam. Cam. Cam. Cam.”

  Kaia joined in, clapping her hands. “Cam. Cam. Cam. Cam.”

  Not being able to feel my feet, nevertheless I inched to where the ball stood, held in place by the cheerleaders with their matching bright smiles. I leaned forward and gripped the sides of the entrance. The plastic squeaked under my fingers. I slid inside.

  Immediately the sound of the crowd dampened and the world outside was reduced to a smudgy blur of colors and faces and lights. I realized that there was a much smaller ball inside the larger ball, and that was where I now crouched, barely able to stand upright. I could hear my breath bouncing off the plastic walls. The air smelled strongly of chemicals and there didn’t seem to be enough of it. What would happen now? I couldn’t hear anything. Did I just wait for someone to roll me to my doom?

  Suddenly, Steve’s face filled the entrance hole like some parody of a horror movie and he sang, “In-N-Out! In-N-Out. That’s what a Camburger’s all about!”

  “Steve!” I leaped toward him, ready to beg, but he was already gone. Through the filmy plastic I saw him step back to the center of the platform and make an announcement. I could hear the answering cheer even inside my bubble.

  Four blurry figures stepped toward me, replacing those of the cheerleaders. From their hulking size, they had to be football players.

  The ball began to roll. I stepped along with it. Okay, th
is wasn’t bad. It really was like I was a hamster. The football players picked up speed. Okay. This was harder. I tilted forward, my hands scrabbling on the slick plastic as I tried to keep up. Then with a heave and a cheer they released me, and suddenly I was bouncing wildly. My feet slipped out from under me. WHAM. My face slapped against the plastic and then I was tumbling. Rolling. Head over heels. All I could see was blinding stadium lights, then grass. Then lights again.

  My stomach protested. I clenched my jaw, refusing to give in.

  THUMP. I jerked to a stop. The ball was wedged into the goal. Inside I was splayed out like a starfish. My hair was plastered to my forehead; the air inside the ball was damp from my sweat, but I hadn’t thrown up. Outside, I could hear the crowd cheering wildly. Through the entrance hole I thought I could even see Kaia clapping. Take that, Steve.

  “Again! But this time, THE WHOLE FIELD!”

  Wait, what?

  I saw a pack of figures running toward me. I sat up.

  “Hey, guys. Hold on.”

  Hands thumped on the plastic all around me. It grew dark inside, the light blocked by the crowd of bodies. The ball began to roll.

  “Wait. Give me a sec.”

  But no one heard. Outside, they were laughing and yelling, “Cam. Cam. Cam.” The ball picked up speed. Again, I scrambled, trying to keep my balance. I pressed my hands to the walls. My feet slipped and slid. My stomach rolled. The sharp scent of chemicals mixed with my frightened sweat.

  Faster. They were pushing me so much faster.

  “One. Two. Three.” It was like a wave hit me. I didn’t even have a chance. The ball bounced hugely. My legs flew out from under me. BAM. I slammed into the floor. BAM. I was on the ceiling. I somersaulted inside the ball. Over and over. Feet over head. Lights. Grass. Lights. Grass. It blurred together too fast.

  A cold, slick sweat coated me. My mouth suddenly filled with a gallon of saliva. It was coming. Oh god, it was coming and I couldn’t stop it. I tried to swallow but couldn’t. My throat tightened. My stomach pushed up. Give in. The thought rose, unbidden. Give in and you’ll feel so much better. No. No. I couldn’t. Kaia was watching. I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes.

  That was a mistake.

  With a heave, vomit spewed from my mouth, splattering the inside of the ball. I felt bits fleck my face. Which naturally made me heave again, bigger, longer. I couldn’t stop. It just kept coming. Vomit coated the inside of the ball as I rolled over and over. It was on my face, my arms, my pants, inside my shoes. The entire inside of the ball filled with the stench of veggie burger and lactose-free chocolate shakes.

  Outside, the crowd reacted. But I kept rolling, no one able to stop me. Over and over in my own personal ocean of puke. Finally, the ball rolled gently to a stop. I lay with my eyes closed, feeling the vomit coating my eyelashes, a warm dampness soaking the back of my neck and hair. I heard the thunder of footsteps as people approached and then their horrified reactions as they got close enough to see and smell the disaster that was me.

  “Cam? Cam? Are you okay?” It was Kaia.

  “Don’t come any closer . . . ,” I begged, my voice a rasp. But I knew she couldn’t hear me outside the thick plastic. And I knew what she must be looking at: a giant hamster ball completely coated with the insides of my stomach, with the dinner we’d just eaten together. I could hear the splat of it as it slowly dripped from the ceiling.

  “Get a stretcher!” someone called.

  Footsteps. Someone approached. There was a squeak of plastic as they put their hand on the ball to peer inside. The whole thing shifted slightly and I tamped down another wave of nausea. “Wow. How much did that guy eat?” Steve. Fucking Steve. “I feel bad I sent those burgers now.” The voice receded as he stepped away. “But, I mean, he knew he had this planned. . . .”

  The spray of icy water pounded into my back.

  “Over there, by his ear. I think I still see a chunk,” Steve said. Kaia aimed the hose a little higher and the water hit my ear, momentarily deafening me. After I’d been carried off the field to the sidelines, Kaia insisted that she help me clean up. The medics decided there wasn’t really anything that required their expertise and handed her the hose. Steve followed, and had been resting on a bench, meticulously pointing out every part of my body that was covered in vomit.

  “I think I’m good,” I said. I was completely soaked, but it was a huge improvement over my previous state. Kaia turned off the hose.

  “Are you okay?” she asked as she stepped closer. I stared at her shoes, unable to meet her eyes.

  “Yeah.”

  She must have sensed she wasn’t going to get anything more out of me. Her feet shifted from side to side. “Um, I think I’m going to go, then. Steve needs to get home. This was a lot for him. For all of us, really.” I nodded. I’d want to get as far away from me, too, which was obviously Steve’s whole plan. And it had worked.

  “Okay, then. Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  Kaia’s and Steve’s footsteps crunched the gravel as they walked away. Steve murmured something. Kaia responded in a low whisper, “I know. I don’t think I’m ever going to get that smell out of my nose.”

  11

  I woke up with a slight taste of vomit in my mouth. And terror in my heart. Steve still had control of the website.

  I snatched my phone from the side table. Last night I had attempted to reset the password for hours, but I was totally locked out now. How did he do it?

  “Nothing new. Nothing new,” I prayed.

  I opened the site. I stopped praying.

  On-screen, SaveSteve.org now promised, If we reach $1,300 in donations, I will wear a beard of bees!

  I threw my phone across the room and earned three more cracks in my screen.

  An hour later, I was standing at the door to Steve’s house, again. I had to put an end to this before he killed me. I rehearsed in different tones, “We both want the same thing, Steve. We both want the same thing.” Not convinced I had found it, I still knocked.

  Maybe his parents would answer. Preferably his mom. She liked me. Maybe I could use her goodwill against Steve. Somehow.

  The handle clunked and the door swung open.

  Steve. In a hot-pink bathrobe. Eating a bowl of ice cream. Unfazed by my presence. “Oh, hey, Camburger. I’m so sorry. There must be some mistake. The Vomiters’ Anonymous meeting was last week. Why don’t you come back maybe . . . never?”

  And he slammed the door as hard as he could.

  I should just tell Kaia that Steve hacked the site. But what was my proof? That I didn’t have the password? I had gone along with the diaper and the hamster ball. What kind of crazy person would do that?

  I knocked on the door again. Nothing. I leaned in closer and tried to shout through the heavy oak. “Steve, I just want to—”

  The door jerked open and Steve smiled like it was the first time he’d seen me today. “Oh, hey, Cam. Wow. Thanks for stopping by, but I’m just hanging with people who don’t have a boner for my girlfriend today. Maybe tomorrow . . .” He reached to close the door.

  “Can we talk about the website?” I blurted.

  Steve feigned confusion. “Website? What website?”

  “You know, the website you hacked,” I demanded.

  “How could I hack a website, Cam? Do I look like some computer nerd? I’m just a dumb bro-ham with cancer. And it is really debilitating, as you can see.” He then shoved a massive scoop of cookies and cream into his mouth, the excess spilling over the edges of his lips baby-style.

  “I’m just trying to help you. Can’t we get along?”

  “Get along? That sounds boring.”

  “Steve . . . just give me the password back. How did you even get it again?”

  “You know, you’re pretty stupid for a nice guy, Cam. I just added my email to the main contact and made myself administrator. Which means I can remove any old contact emails from some bot named Cam. Now I’m the only one who can reset the password.” St
eve took another bite of ice cream. “Though I could be persuaded to give you back the website if you say one simple thing.”

  “Sure. What?” I tried to sound accommodating.

  He spoke in a voice that I guess was supposed to sound like me, but sounded more like a little old lady. “Steve, you’re right. I’m just doing this to get in Kaia’s panties.”

  “Steve, I’m not—”

  “Say it.”

  “I can’t. It’s not true.”

  “Using Kaia’s name as your new password says otherwise.”

  “That’s only because we were working on it together.”

  “You didn’t want to just use ‘Steve’?”

  “You can’t use the name of your website as a password.”

  “Say it, Cam.”

  “Seriously, I’m not doing this to—”

  “Get in Kaia’s panties?”

  “Stop! I hate that word.”

  “You can say undergarments if it suits your Victorian sensibilities.”

  “I’m not going to say anything.”

  “Then you’re going to look so nice with a face full of bees.” Steve actually seemed happier. “Do you think they will crawl up your nose? What if one gets stuck?”

  I crossed my arms. “I’m not going to show up, okay. How about that? You can post whatever crazy stunt on there you want, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to do it.”

  “Cam? What are you doing here?” Kaia appeared behind Steve. Had she been there the whole time? And we’d been talking about her panties!

  “Uh. I just . . . I wanted to check on Steve.”

  “I thought you wanted to talk about the website, Cam?” Steve’s smile could cut glass.

  “Oh, um, yeah. I . . .”

  “Oh my god. I saw the bee thing,” Kaia said, horrified.

  “Yeah, it’s a stupid idea, right?” I should just tell her it was Steve’s idea.

  “So stupid,” Steve agreed, sounding concerned. “I told Cam he shouldn’t do it. Sounds kind of dangerous and it might hurt a fuckload if they accidentally swarm.” His expression was serious, but his eyes were dancing.

  “That’s what I thought,” Kaia said. Thank god. I relaxed until she continued, “But you have to come see this!” She motioned for us to follow her back into the house, and her enthusiasm scared the shit out of me.