Smash Into You

by Shelly Crane

  He had evil eyed us when we came up with our dark hair. "Knew it," he said under his breath and then smiled condescendingly. "All right, runaways, let's get to work."

  Ever since then, he'd been on our butts to get the job finished and get gone. We had two stumps left. It was after three in the afternoon, the sun was hot and pissed off, and I was so ready to be done. My shoulders were burned, I could tell. I had to ditch my shirt when the stump grinding came up. Throwing that ax over my shoulder and thumping it into the wood was back breaking work, but I was used to the labor. Marley tried to keep up, picking up all the stray twigs and slivers and putting them in the tinderbox, but it had been an awfully long, hot day.

  I watched him as he walked away, heading to the chicken coop to check out the work we'd finished up there today. I threw my ax into one of the logs and told Marley to stay there. I ran to his barn and laughed when the keys were right there in the ignition of the John Deere. I looked until I found a chain thick enough and tossed it on before cranking it up.

  I used to drive one of those every day when I was in high school. I worked on a woman's farm and she let me live in the loft of the barn where they stored all the junk they couldn't bear to part with. So I knew all the ins and outs of a farm. And the old man may have wanted us to hack for four days at those stumps with an ax, but it wasn't happening.

  I drove the tractor out of the barn, careful not to clip the door with the hookup. He turned to look at me, hands on his hips. I tipped an imaginary hat to him. He shook his head, but I saw the small smile. He waved his hands at me in an I give up manner before turning back to his task.

  When I reached the stump, I took it out of gear and hopped down to attach the chain around it before I hopped back on. I held my hand out and yelled, "Would the lady like a ride?"

  She giggled. I saw it, but couldn't hear it. Pity. "Love to, stud!" she yelled back. I hoisted her up to sit on my knee.

  Her tank top showed her sunburn as well. I kissed the side of her neck, my spot, before putting the tractor in gear and letting it buck and pull, before giving it slack and going at it again. Marley held on tight for the ride and when the stump finally gave way, pulling the roots out and tipping it up on its side, she squealed, "This is so much fun!"

  I laughed and we repeated the process for the next stump, which was a little more stubborn than the first. After that, I went and pulled the wood splitter over. It took us a couple hours to split it all and stack it between the trees he told us to. I parked the tractor and put my shirt back on, exhausted. I didn't even want to eat, just get in bed.

  He met us half way as we walked toward his house. He had the cash in his hand and folded it in half, giving it all to me. I stuck it in my pocket without counting it and told him thanks and we appreciated it. He nodded, but then said, "Can I talk to you for a minute, son?"

  I looked at Marley and back to him. "Uh, sure." As we walked a few feet away, I told him, "By the way, my name's Jude. We never properly introduced ourselves."

  "Myron." He shook my hand and looked over at Marley as he spoke. "She was telling the truth, wasn't she? You're not runaways."

  "No, sir. We're not."

  "I didn't think you'd come back today after I didn't pay you yesterday, but you did come back and you're not an idiot. You know how to do things and you both work hard… You're too young to be such hard workers unless you been doing it all your life."

  I stayed quiet. I didn't think he was looking for an answer.

  "You've been walking here every day. You don't have a car so how are y'all leaving town?"

  "We'll probably take the bus."

  "Where you headed?"

  "New Mexico."

  "What's in New Mexico?" he asked. Nosy old man.

  "Answers," I said and looked over at Marley. "And hopefully, a way of life where looking over our shoulder isn't a requirement."

  He smiled. "You're in love with that little girl."

  I should have balked, I should have laughed… "Yes, sir, I am."

  "Is it the law you're in trouble with?" he asked, his head cocked toward the barn.

  I shook my head. "It's…someone who's got a grudge on our parents. But they're long gone."

  He sighed and then nodded his head for me to follow him. I beckoned Marley to me and followed him to the big, white barn. She took my hand and whispered, "Is everything OK?"

  I nodded. When I looked back at him, he was pulling the tarp off an old Chevy pick-up truck. It was beautiful. He had restored the black paint and glass. I wondered why he was showing it to us.

  "It's been kept up for a while, but I take her out and run her about once a month just to make sure she's good to go. She was a project truck. My wife hated this vehicle with her very being because I spent so much time and money on it, but when it was all finished, she always wanted to take this when we went to town. I know if she were here, she'd give you some supper and homemade bread to take with you…but she's not here and I can't cook to barely keep my own self alive, let alone two other folks."

  I waved him off. "It's fine. We appreciate the help. I'm sorry about your wife." Marley gripped my hand tighter.

  "Me, too," he said with sad, far away smile. "This is the only way I can help you," he told me, holding out the keys. The keychain was an old Texaco logo. I looked up at him like he was an insane person. "Take it. I ain't pulling your leg."

  "No," I said, surprising myself with the force of it. "Sir…I don't deserve it."

  Marley's face was full of sympathy as she rubbed her hand across my chest. "Jude."

  "I've made too many mistakes," I explained. "I've done…so many things I'm not proud of to survive."

  "So become a politician," he joked and gripped my shoulder. It burned under his palm from the sunburn. "Take the truck, son. When you're a starving man and you're offered a loaf of bread, you take it."

  I hesitated in my guilt at what I'd done. Marley squeezed my hand again and I looked over at her. I would steal as many cars, do as many odd jobs, and hurt as many bastards that it took to keep her safe.

  I didn't know what happened, but she was mine. However it happened…she was mine now.

  I looked back at Myron. "Thank you."

  "No need-oomph…" Marley slammed into him with a hard hug. He laughed and hugged her back. I smiled at her and took the keys he held out once more.

  "Really, thank you," she said and beamed up at him.

  Marley climbed into the truck and looked over all the white leather.

  "Just take care of her," he told me and shook my hand for the last time.

  "Don't worry," I assured him. "I won't take her over sixty-five."

  He laughed. "Wasn't talking 'bout the truck, son."

  I huffed a laugh. "I will."

  I hopped in, waving as we dusted up his dirt drive, and drove through a drive-thru before heading back to the hotel. We ate and crashed big time.

  The next morning, we both moaned and groaned about our sunburns as we got dressed and packed everything up to check out. With all our clothes and the papers in one trash bag, we loaded up. We hit the road for breakfast before leaving town and headed west.

  We started to pull into the diner we'd eaten at that day, but I slammed on the brakes when we saw the car we abandoned in the back of the lot being torn apart by several burly men. I looked for Biloxi and didn't see him, so I figured it was just the cops. I started to breathe a sigh when his head popped up from behind the open door. He was red in the face with anger, but hadn't seen us.

  I put us in reverse and pulled back onto the highway. "Well, looks like no breakfast," I told her as we sped as fast as limits would allow on the way out of town.

  "How does he keep finding us?"

  "I don't know," I told her truthfully. "But I'm done with him for now. My main goal is to get to that facility and see what was going on when our moms were there. Then, he's mine."

  She nodded. "I agree."

  "You know what? You still got your cell?" I pulled the
old man's cell I had from my pocket and tossed it out the window. I saw it smash on the road in the rear view mirror.

  She shook her head. "I left it behind. It died a long time ago anyway."

  She leaned back, putting her knees up on the dash, turned on the radio, and rested her head on my shoulder. I let my hand rest on the inside of her thigh, shifting gears between her knees when I needed to, and focused on getting us as far away from him as possible.

  TWELVE

  We only stopped for gas and food for the next sixteen hours. I drove, then she drove, then I drove, and then she slept with her head in my lap. Finally, I could take no more and checked into another crummy hotel.

  The next morning we were on the road again, another state, another day of travel. And we talked a lot, which was a new concept for me. She told me about how many schools she'd been to and how many of her foster moms made her call them 'Mother'. Gross. They weren't all bad, but she never got to stay with the good ones for very long.

  I told her about the schools I'd been to and how I'd never gotten to play football or sports. How I spent too much time with silly girls and goofing off instead of focusing on school like I should of. She kinda tensed at that and it made me pause. "What's up?"

  "Nothing," she lied so badly.

  What the hell? "Tell me."

  She turned, putting her back to the truck door and her feet in my lap. "We…met before."

  I whipped my head to look at her and back to the road as quickly as I could without killing us. "What do you mean?"

  "I went to La Vista high school."

  La Vista sounded familiar. I'd been to so many, they ran together. "It's in Collier," she explained.

  "Oh, yeah. You did?" I was beyond shocked. Not only did I not remember her at all, but that was junior year. The year I learned that being a jerk kept me safe from any girls that would care and put me in the arms of all the ones that didn't. I got nervous. Crap, if she was there, then there was no telling what she saw.

  "I can't believe you haven't told me until now," I deflected.

  "Don't get all fidgety," she said, but she didn't laugh. "I know you were a different person then. I know who you are now. I…recognized you at the party that night, but you were same…jerk you'd been before, except this time, you were actually interested in me."

  Ah, hell…she had seen something awful.

  "What did I do?" I whispered.

  I faced forward. I couldn't look at her as she fished in my past, reminding me of things I did that I was sure I was going to regret even more now.

  "You misunderstood me." She smiled sadly, I could hear it. "You were…entertaining…some girl in front of my locker. I came up to you, in all my freshman glory, and tried to ask you to move, but-"

  The scene played out in front of my eyes and I remembered. And I could see it now. It was her and I'd been such an ass, assuming that she was hitting on me…when she'd just been trying to get into her locker. I remembered her gorgeous face and the destroyed look I'd put on it.

  She was still talking, telling me it was OK.

  I looked over my right shoulder, seeing no one, and cut across all four lanes of traffic to slam to a stop in a back parking spot at the rest stop. My breaths heaved. I still hadn't looked at her. I didn't know if I could. I remembered her face, her look of just utter hurt at what I'd said to her—not just said it, but did it in front of other people. Those girls, those stupid bullies who thought they were better than everybody. Then I just left a few weeks later, leaving Marley to that school and that life. The college wasn't very far from that school. Over the years, I'd made my way back.

  She'd been right there, my salvation, and I'd practically spit in her face.

  I felt her hand on my jaw, forcing me to look at her. I didn't want to, but I obeyed. She looked at me with sympathy, not disgust. "What the hell did I do to deserve that look?"

  "You changed."

  "Marley…" I choked. Holy…I was about to lose it.

  She crawled into my lap, fitting snugly between my hips and the steering wheel. She took my face in her hands and kissed my lips once. "I didn't tell you that so you'd get upset, I just wanted to tell you. I don’t like secrets and this felt like one. It's why I was so angry with you in the beginning. I thought…you would always be that guy and when you didn't remember me…" she scoffed, "that made the sting even worse."

  "Marley," I tried again. "I'm so, so sorry. I was so messed up back then with anger. It was the hardest time in my life because I wasn't a cute kid anymore so people stopped helping me so easily. I had to start working and trying to save money on my own and…girls were always asking me to ask them out and…even though it was what I wanted at the time, using people and being used made me an angry, bitter person. It's not an excuse."

  "It's not," she agreed. "I understand. You looked at me like every other girl in that place that tried to use you."

  "But you weren't trying to use me." I gulped. "You just wanted your freaking books. And I…humiliated you."

  "A little." She smiled. "But I got over it. And soon enough, I moved and was on to another foster home. I really just wanted to tell you this so you'd see how our paths have crossed. More than once. For whatever reason…" She lifted her hands to suggest the sky, "Whatever this is. We were meant to find each other, to find the men responsible for our mothers and get them some justice."

  I shook my head. "I was meant to find you."

  She bit her lip. "I was meant to be found."

  I pulled her mouth down to me and tried to tell her how sorry I was with these lips. God…to live a life so carelessly and think you're not hurting anyone but yourself…

  I placed my hand on the small of her back and pressed her to me. Our hips lined up, igniting a growl from me. She gasped into my mouth and wrapped her arms around my head to bring us closer. My hands wanted some new territory for this occasion and started to go south, but I remembered her past and didn't want to scare her with that yet.

  Before I could think, she reached back and placed my hands right on her behind. I huffed a laugh into our kiss and used my newfound backside real estate to grip, tug, and pull at her.

  She leaned my head back by gripping my hair and kissed the spot under my ear, making good on her promise. My mouth fell open in silent groan and my grip tightened on her. My breathing was so ragged that the windows were fogged. When she kissed my earlobe, I was done letting her have control and pulled her back to me.

  She made the most amazing noises against my lips and by the time I was done with her, her lips were swollen and there was probably another hickie around there somewhere.

  I locked the doors, content to stay in that truck with her all night. She didn't even ask, she just laid her head down in the crook of my neck and let me lull her to sleep.

  While I stayed up that night facing my demons, I felt another ray of sunshine blow through my soul as the girl on my lap murmured my name in her sleep.

  It didn't matter how much time had passed, I was in love with this girl and I knew it because she was breaking me. Like a block of ice chipped away with an ice pick, she wielded that blade with precision. I was at her mercy and she wasn't letting the blows slow. And the strangest, most amazing part about it?

  I didn't want to run. Not at all.

  I smiled a full on genuine smile and finally went to sleep.

  x

  The next day, I drove straight through again and we finally reached New Mexico late that night. We decided not to sleep in the truck and found a single-level motel to stay in.

  I brought all the papers in and combed them once more to try to find something important we may have missed while Marley took a hot bath. I tried to think of the best course of action for the next day. Should I wait until nighttime before trying to get in? Should I just go and ask to speak to someone about it? I didn't think that would work since they had people chasing us.

  I finally gave up and realized the Chinese food guy had delivered over twenty minutes ago
and she was still in the tub.

  I knocked and heard her soft, "Come in."

  I peeked to see her buried under a sea of bubbles. I smiled. "Are you pruny yet? Food's here."

  "Yes," she sighed, "but I kinda have a headache. I need to wash my hair though."

  I looked around and grabbed the shampoo off the counter. But I didn't give it to her. I leaned down and touched her forehead while her eyes were closed. "You all right?"

  "Yeah, it's just a headache."

  I stood and rolled up my pant legs. "Sit up," I told her.

  "Why?" she whispered as if speaking hurt, but saw me climb in behind her, my legs in the water, and me sitting on the tub deck. She just watched me.

  I poured shampoo in my hand and waited for her to turn back around. She did with a little smile, wrapping her arm around my leg. I washed and massaged her head and scalp for so long my own hands were pruny. She moaned with her eyes closed as she rubbed my leg up and down.

  "Better?" I asked, moving and rubbing down to her shoulders.

  "Yes. Thank you," she groaned. She moved her hand down to my ankle. "You have sexy feet."

  I snickered. "Uh…OK."

  "I'm serious. You don't believe me?" She smiled, turning a little. "Don't ever wear flip-flops. You'll cause a riot."

  I laughed and got out, drying off. "Sure. Girls don't think feet are sexy. Guys do, but not girls."

  I looked down at her, my girl all covered in suds.

  My girl…

  "I am a girl and I say your feet are sexy," she argued as she looked at them over the tub side.

  I squirmed and laughed. "Cut it out."

  She pulled the shower curtain to and stood. "OK. I'm done. Hand me the towel?"

  Before I could hand it to her, the bathroom door opened, revealing our neighbor from before. Marley's friendly helper who was actually working with Biloxi. My fists tightened and I got ready for a fight. He held his hands up like he was surrendering, but I didn't buy it.