Descent Into Darkness

by Michael Cross

  I appreciated sharing this lonely part of my life with her. I did not tell her anything about what Nicole had shared with me about my mother’s secret past, but maybe that was because I was trying to repress that. Perhaps I still had not come to terms with the idea that my mother did not fit the saint-like image I had of her while I was a child. I wondered what my children would think of me if they discovered anything about who I really was. I vowed to keep that from ever happening – no matter what!

  When we arrived back at the apartment we rushed to get ready for work. It was a typical evening, yet Nazir was not there. It would not be until Saturday night that I would be able to tell him that we were on for Tuesday. The big news though was Svetlana was indeed working. While she was getting ready in the dressing room I could not help but notice that she was putting make-up on several bruises on her hips and lower ribs and, most disturbing, on what appeared to be scratches and needle pricks on her chest. I also noticed that she seemed emotionally withdrawn, almost as if she were fearful of something – an event in the recent past, or perhaps in the future. I said nothing, but hoped that Katja could find out what had happened to her.

  Over the course of the next couple of nights Katja and Svetlana did indeed begin to build a trust between them. The same might be said of Nazir and me as he was quite friendly on Saturday and asked me several times if I wanted anything special from him. Then, on Sunday night, after work Katja told me to quickly get into the car. As we took off Katja gave me the details.

  It seems that early Sunday evening she had told Svetlana that she was doing a performance Monday evening and when she did the girl warned her never to do any of the “really special shows” as they were not worth the price. Katja then pulled over at a gas station and said, “Never tell anyone anything about this, and certainly never say anything to Nazir…or else at the very least Svetlana will probably vanish forever.” Katja then displayed intense anger as she told me that Svetlana had said about the night with Meyers. Apparently, Meyers was a depraved individual, a sick cop, who liked to inflict pain and suffering on helpless women.

  That evening we both wondered if Meyers had been the one who killed Katja’s sister in some sort of sado-masochistic game as well as if the Zagriev brothers had been involved in it. Of course I wanted to know who was to blame for the fire as well. When we came home Katja sat silently on the couch and fixed her eyes on the picture she had painted of me. Suddenly, as I brought her some fruit punch she burst out in tears. I tried to comfort her but she was crying so hard she could not talk. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she composed herself enough to say, “It is so unfair. Tamilla was such a wonderful girl and, and, to die for something so meaningless, so sick! If that cop killed her I will make him suffer! He will wish he had never been born!” I just held her and thought to myself that I had a few special ways to accomplish that goal, but I had to be sure about everything first. It would do me no good to get revenge on Meyers if he was merely a branch to a corrupt tree. To be totally safe I had to know the roots were taken care of as well which was frustrating since that meant more and more research. Of course, at that moment, holding my lover in her time of anguish, I felt the difficult part might be coming to an end. Little did I know that the events of the future would be filled with pain and sorrow that would test me to the very center of my soul.

  Chapter 14

  Monday morning arrived and Katja and I just lay in bed reviewing all that we had been able to discover in the last month. We knew that the vice cop, Craig Meyers, was involved with some sick sexual games which the Zagriev brothers arranged for him, but we had no proof they, or Meyers, had actually killed Katja’s sister. We also knew that my son had seen Meyers put the dead cat on my porch, but had Meyers also been responsible for the fire? His partner, Officer Smith, had been on the scene after the fire…a vice cop who had no business there.

  Ironically, both Katja and I felt uncomfortable with informing Meyer’s superior, Joyce Sanger, of any of our findings. And what could we report …a little boy’s accusations or that one of her cops was a sick freak? We had to continue looking into this to make sure we had all the facts first, since to leave any stone unturned could mean that someone else would find us and maybe finish what they had failed to accomplish earlier.

  Katja volunteered to go make breakfast and I laid there in deep thought. I sort of forgot the investigation for a moment and ran the thoughts of my mother through my mind again. Why could I not get her out of my mind? She was long since dead and in the grave, yet was I worried that I truly was just like her? Then I remembered that it had been almost a week since I had contacted my family; and even longer the time that I last had checked to see if there was any important legislative business requiring my attention. I really needed to contact my volunteer aides, but part of me felt so distant from my persona at that time. And as for my family, I was not exactly in the mood to talk with anyone there at the moment, so I decided to put it off until the following day…maybe.

  Speaking of putting things off I got up and walked into the living room. I looked at the painting and then walked over to Katja as she was frying some bacon on the stove. I put my arms around her and asked, “Looking forward to this evening’s performance?” She burst out laughing, and gasped my hand asking if maybe we should rehearse after breakfast. I joked that “practice makes perfect” and we tried to just enjoy each other’s company and not worry about anything else for the rest of the day.

  When we arrived at the club that evening Nazir came up and greeted me. As Katja excused herself to go into the dressing room Naziir asked, “Amber, would you like to have someone else perform with her this evening? I will give you money if you want to just come out and talk with me like we did last week.” I sighed, looked towards the dressing room, and then gave him a pouting look, “No Nazir, I promised her I would be her partner this evening. Could we maybe do it Wednesday?” He gave me a disappointed smile and said, “Yes, yes, that is okay. We have a date tomorrow as well. Is everything okay with Petra?” I said all was absolutely fine. He was happy but then he said he needed to ask if we were okay with performing without him being in the room that evening. He said, “Your customers are two older gentlemen and they want privacy. I think they are safe, but if they give you any trouble just yell out, I will be at the bar. And they asked for no special dress up, so just go in and get started.” I thanked him and went into the dressing room to meet up with Katja. She smiled and even whispered to me, “You know, I could get used to this. Maybe when everything is finished we should look into opening our own club.” I replied, “I’ve been thinking along the same lines, believe it or not.”

  When we went into the performance room I was surprised to see that the customers were the two older guys from the other evening. They greeted us and we smiled and waved back before beginning the show. The odd thing was it felt comfortable with Katja and I did not even think of the old men watching us express our love to each other.

  After the hour was up we went over to sit with the guys. The odd thing was that the white man seemed to have a smirking look on his face when we sat down, like he was going to laugh or something. He asked, “So, you are Amber and your friend here is Petra…nice show.” I thanked him and he then laughed, “So you two set a date yet?” I looked at him to convey not understanding his question. He continued, “Sorry, I just thought you two look so right for each other that you must be considering getting married.” I concluded this was part of some sort of fantasy for him so I said, “Yes, we are planning on settling down and raising a family someday.” He laughed again as he leaned back, “Oh, if you do that you will need some assistance. Hope you know a guy who will give you a helping hand, so to speak.” I asked, “Are you volunteering?” to which he said, “No, I don’t think the wife would be open to that – besides I have grandchildren that are older than you and your friend.”

  The whole socializing hour with these two men was really weird. The black guy did not speak much, he just sa
t back and snickered when his companion would ask something – and it appeared he was always looking away from us, as if he were uncomfortable being with two naked women. The white man, on the other hand, seemed almost oblivious to the fact. He wanted to discuss how we intended on raising a family, politics and even how we felt about gay marriage. For some reason, when I looked at his eyes, he seemed to be hiding something, like he knew something, like he and I both shared a secret yet I did not know which secret it was. I tried to think, when the horrifying thought came to my mind that I might know this guy from some political function, and I wondered who he might be. Yet I absolutely knew I had never seen him before the club.

  After that hour was over Nazir came in and the white man gave me a compliment in front of Nazir, “You have a really smart couple of dancers here.” He nodded in agreement and sat next to them. We left to the dressing room as they talked. As we were putting our clothes on Katja asked, “Do you know those men from some place? They seem to know us, or at least you.” I told her I only knew them from the club, but nowhere else. Yet it was true that the one man treated me as if he was familiar with who I was, which gave me a bit of anxiety as the last thing I needed was to see a headline in the local newspaper, “State legislator found working in sex show.”

  A moment later Nazir came in and handed us our money. Upon opening the envelopes we both found ten one hundred dollar bills! Katja gave me a hug and whispered in my ear, “Maybe we really need to find a way to continue this work after everything is done.” We finished dressing, and as we left Nazir reminded us to meet at the club around 6pm for our night on the town.

  The next day it was actually Katja who suggested I call my family. She said she would go for a long run and leave me alone if I liked. I thanked her and jumped in the shower as she got dressed. A few moments later she popped her head into the bathroom and said she would be back in an hour or so.

  When I sat at the computer uncomfortable memories flooded my mind of when I was with Bethany and had decided to strike out on a new life. Those same feelings were re-appearing. It was not as if I did not love my husband, it was not as if I did not love my wife, and I certainly loved my children, but I hesitated to call for a moment. I sat and fantasized beginning something new with Katja. I was still young enough to start fresh, maybe even get a new identity. In fact, the idea seemed to give me a rush, so much so that I closed down my Skype and just began to surf the net. I even checked out graduate programs to see if maybe I could get a degree in another field and truly begin again – I even contemplated this new life would not even have to involve children. This time, in my little fantasy, Katja and I could just be the kind of free-spirits who I had encountered at hippie fairs or the hot springs. I even reasoned that maybe this could give Matt and Nicole the chance to be the ideal married couple so neither would have to hide anything anymore. Maybe after a while they would just forget about me, and since they were so far away, and our home destroyed, maybe that all-important “call,” the one where I would cut the ties, would be easier. As odd as it sounded I even rehearsed the break-up in my mind. True, there would be questions about my resigning from the legislature and such; but after a few months, who would even care?

  About an hour later Katja gave a light tap at the door, before slowly opening it. She came in and asked, “Everything okay with your family?” I lied, “I tried to reach them but nobody was there.” At that she sighed and said she was sorry, and that I should try in a little while. I agreed that I would. For the rest of the day we went shopping for new dresses for our night out. For fun we went into an exclusive shop, one that was far too expensive for my normal budget. Yet we both had a great deal of money accumulated from our work and, without a bit of guilt we both bought designer evening dresses that cost over a thousand dollars! Katja laughed, “It only took us a couple of hours to earn this last night.” Afterwards we went next door to a shoe shop and I spent more money for a pair of high-heel shoes than I had spent on new clothes for my children for the past six months. Then we went for a walk on the river front, and finally home to get ready for our dates.

  Several times while strolling on the river front I had thought about asking Katja if she would run away with me, yet each time I saw people who reminded me of both Matt and Nicole – as strange as it seemed I took it as a sign, a message from God perhaps, that this was not the right thing to do. Yet with each passing day I had felt more attached to this new existence than with my other life. It seemed I had no responsibilities but plenty of money, nothing to tie me down, as well as someone who loved me. It was all quite confusing to say the least.

  That evening we put on our new glittery outfits that left little to the imagination. My red dress had a plunging neckline with a tiny strap to hold everything. It extended to my knees but with a slit that exposed almost all my thighs. Katja’s green dress was more modest in the chest but had a cut that exposed her tummy, much like a belly dancer and was far shorter in the legs. We headed off to the club and joked that we looked like high-class spies, and I at least was looking forward to a most interesting evening.

  Upon arriving we saw a white stretch limo parked in the front. Of course it being a Friday night maybe some VIP had arrived, but before we were able to enter the door Adlan and Nazir greeted us, dressed in nice suits, and pointed to the limo. The driver opened the doors for us and we just looked at each other before getting in. Adlan and Nazir followed and we were off. As we drove Nazir said that Aslan would be in charge and Tiffanie would be at the bar. I asked, “Isn’t it really busy? Can Aslan be bouncer and manager alone? The two brothers looked at each other and laughed. Nazir commented as Adlan poured a drink for Katja, “Aslan may be small, but he has special training. He could dismember a gang of thugs and not even blink an eye.” He then offered me a drink but I turned him down. At that Nazir smiled, “A woman who does not drink is a precious gift from God.” At that comment Katja looked a bit uncomfortable, but then Nazir asked for his brother to give him a drink as well, which eased the tension of the moment.

  In a short time we arrived at one of the most exclusive hotels in Portland. The driver let us all out and we accompanied Nazir and Adlan into the dining area. Nazir ordered for me as Adlan did the same for Katja. It felt really nice to be in such an expensive establishment, and to be pampered in such style. As the night progressed Nazir and I began to talk about politics again, while I had no idea what Katja and Adlan were discussing as they switched to Russian soon after the meal arrived. Nazir appeared to really enjoy my insights into society, as long as I agreed with him on how awful Europe and the United States were. His opinions were far more hostile than they had been at our earlier dinner date and so I assumed playing along was the best strategy to gain his trust.

  Sometime around 10pm I could tell Katja had perhaps had too much to drink. I was getting worried that if she became drunk she might do something stupid, like call me by my real name. I politely asked everyone, “So, any other plans for the evening?” Nazir smiled and said, “Yes, please come with us!” We looked at each other, curious as to what they had in mind. The brothers then escorted us to the elevator, and we took it to the top floor. That is when we discovered they had rented a very luxurious room – the honeymoon suite!

  It was huge and quite gorgeous. The drapes were open and we could see the magnificent skyline of Portland illuminated with the backdrop of the mountains. At that Adlan said something to Katja in Russian and she turned to look at me in somewhat a questioning, unsure manner before turning and following him up the staircase. Nazir walked over to the window and commented, “Decadence! A beautiful city, probably just what Sodom looked like before God destroyed everyone in it.” I decided to engage him in conversation as I became quite aware of what the intentions of these men really were – and while I wanted to get close to them, I did not want it in that way! Maybe I had been too naïve about what we had gotten ourselves into, too trusting, but right then I had to keep my wits and make sure I remained in charge of events. />
  I asked him, “Why do you think God destroyed Sodom?” He took a deep breath and continued scanning the city view, “That is not important now.” He turned to me and said, “It is not right, a beautiful woman like you wasting your life on this path!” He took my hand and escorted me to the couch, “Can you tell me more about how you feel about God and society?” I was hoping to keep him occupied with his intellectual commentary, rather than anything more physical. He then stood up and seemed nervous as he began to walk back and forth. Finally, in a somewhat angry tone, he complained, “I make money off of infidel culture, I admit, but I should not be allowed to do this! I would be happier as an engineer, like my father wanted me to be, or even a farmer like many of my countrymen. But look at me. I own and operate a whore house, I pay off cops to help me, I drink…look at what this society has made me do!” I sat back and took note of what he said about cops. At that I asked, “Are cops corrupt here in Portland?” He looked at me inquisitively and responded, “Cops are corrupt everywhere! They have no morals anywhere in this country – they are no better than Russian cops except Russian cops make no apologies for being corrupt.”

  At that he apologized and demanded, “Stand up and follow me!” While I was terrified at what I had allowed myself to get into I complied. We went into bedroom and he said, “Please, a private dance. I need something to take my mind off the horrors of this world.” I could see no way out of this. I could, perhaps, just dart out the door but that would be the end of getting any more information, and already I had maybe gained some insights with what he said about cops. I asked him to turn some music on, and hoped that his religious values extended to his being against fornication and adultery, and that I could satisfy him with a dance routine. He turned a rock station on and I began the show.