Descent Into Darkness

by Michael Cross

  A routine to my new existence set in for the next week. I still had no contact with Katja, but Tiffanie and I seemed to grow closer and closer. Nazir kept up his demands on me physically and in his own way emotionally. Of course I was seen by all the other dancers as being at the top of the pecking order as they knew I was Nazir’s “woman.” It seemed that I could go in and out of the office at my pleasure. Every day I checked my emails at Tiffanie’s. I wanted to share my feelings with Matt and Nicole, although every time I read one of their mails I found myself in a state of insecurity as I wondered if they were tiring of our arrangement. I was getting impatient myself – so naturally they must have been under stress.

  Then, the next Friday Aslan came into the office as I was sitting on the couch and asked, “Amber, go upstairs and look for a bottle of Jack Daniels in the storage closet, understand? I have a guest who wants a special bottle I picked up in Moscow with Russian writing, understand? Here is the key.” I had never been in the upstairs of the club. As I climbed the stairs I noticed it had that old building smell to it. I knew that the Zagriev brothers lived in small rooms there, as well as Katja, but I did not know whose was which. Yet when I saw the door with the sign reading “supplies” I fought the urge to see if Katja was in one of the other rooms. I instead opened the door, and looked for the bottle. Just when I saw what he must have been talking about I noticed a dark blue bag with the emblem of the Portland Police in the corner! I looked around to make sure I was the only one there and I quickly opened the bag. What I saw horrified me – it was several bottles of liquid with the warning “EXTREME FLAMMABLE” in bold lettering. Though sealed I could detect a faint odor of some petroleum-based liquid and I remembered what the cop had said to me when my house burnt down. Was this finally my smoking gun? I carefully put everything back as it was and rushed down to give Aslan the whiskey.

  For the rest of the evening, while I did my dancing, I was able to put my body on auto-pilot while my mind was busy sorting out what I should do next. I could not show any indications of what I suspected, but I was fairly convinced, no I was certain, that the Zagriev brothers and the two cops were responsible for the arson. However, that collar would prevent me from having the freedom to go anywhere to investigate – and I dared not go to either the burned-out remains of my family home, or the other house, since I was trackable. Still, I had to find a way to get together with Katja, but little was I aware that fate would make certain that the complete truth would come out – and hit me square in the face.

  Chapter 16

  I was not sure if I was motivated by sheer hatred but when I went to work on Saturday night I approached Nazir and basically demanded that we go back to the office and have some fun. Obviously, he did not argue at all. Afterwards, as we rested, I decided that I should make sure I had his total confidence. I took a huge gamble, “Nazir, when do you suppose we can maybe try to make a baby?” He got a surprised look on his face and sat up. He looked around the office and said, “What? Maybe someday, I just have a lot of work to keep this place going.” I of course had lied about my birthday on the fake papers, listing it as January 12th. I asked, “Since my birthday is in January can that be the day we start trying? I mean, I can help keep things organized around here even when I’m pregnant.” He looked at me and nervously asked, “Do you want marriage? “ I shrugged my shoulders and said, “I don’t know… what do you want?” He replied, “I do not want to be tied down. I want you. Maybe I even love you, but marriage? I just don’t know.”

  I replied, “Want to try for a baby right now?” He gave me a stern look, “No, absolutely not! We will talk about your request later…January 12th is a long time in the future.” Of course I had absolutely no intention of allowing him to make me pregnant. Yet my request had a profound effect on him. While I was getting dressed he said, “Amber, I will begin to train you tomorrow night in some of the paperwork here – beer and liquor shipments, and scheduling.” I thanked him, “I’m looking forward to January then.” He cleared his throat and chuckled, “I have made no promises yet.”

  The next evening I went back to the office and Nazir said he would give me an hour of training to start out with. After about thirty minutes Aslan came in and said he had someone at one of the tables asking about setting up a live performance and so he excused himself a moment. I knew I had little time to act so I opened the top drawer and found an address book. I looked under “M” for Meyers, but only found an entry for a “G.M.” and next to it an entry of “D.S.” I quickly copied the address, shut the book and the drawer, and took on the pose of an office-girl. Soon afterwards Nazir returned and said that he had arranged for a performance on Tuesday evening. He asked if I was okay with it and I replied, “Sure thing! But…I am not sure…I think Tiffanie might be close to her cycle beginning.” Nazir just gave an “oh” and asked if Alexa might be good. I replied, “I would rather not have her.” He seemed in thought for a moment and I suggested, “Why not Petra?” At that Nazir shook his head, “No, I do not think so. Adlan would not agree and I have been worried about your ex-girlfriend lately.”

  I was not sure what he meant, but I quickly replied, “Nazir, I have a new girlfriend now. I really am not interested in Petra anymore, but I would not mind working with her, if that is okay.” Nazir was hardly enthusiastic at the idea. Then he asked, “How long have you known Petra?” I said, “Almost two months, why?” He then asked, “Who was it who got the idea of applying here – you or her?” My heart skipped as I replied, “It was her idea.” He nodded his head in thought and then said, “I will arrange it, but this is only for professional purposes. Adlan will only agree to it that way.”

  Needless to say this was another evening I was on auto-pilot, deep in thought. It seemed I was really close to my objective, at least close to knowing enough so I could attain my goal of finding out who had threatened my family’s safety. I desperately needed to connect with Katja, yet a performance would probably not give me the opportunity to discuss much of anything with her. I also was cognizant of being monitored – where ever I went, the Zagriev brothers would know my exact location. I also had to formulate a final scene…and decide what to do once I did have all my answers. I could not rely on the cops, but could I rely on Katja? This was really complicated but I could not postpone things much longer.

  While I was on stage it dawned on me what I needed to do. During a break I noticed Nazir had gone back to the office so I quickly took off to meet him. Once in I tried to act perplexed and confused, “Nazir, I could not help but wonder why you were asking me questions about Petra. Is something wrong with her?” He sat back in his chair and with not so much as blinking of an eye he lost all expression and said, “I am not sure. Aslan said she reminded him of someone from the past, but who can say?” I maintained my innocent look and he continued, “Amber, you are really intelligent, but I suspect you are too trusting. I think she may have used you.” It was time for my shocked look. I asked, “Used me? How did she use me? What are you saying, that she is a cop or something?” He shook his head and said, “I said I am not sure. Aslan thinks she is not all she appears to be.” I asked, “And Adlan?” He took a deep breath, “I am not sure. We have not approached him. I will tonight though.”

  This was a dangerous situation for both Katja and me. I tried to think fast. I sat down on the couch and said, “Nazir, if she used me, can I help you find out what is going on?” He got up and joined me on the couch, looking closely in my eyes. I had to remember everything I had ever read about faking facial expressions when I suggested, “You know, she trusts me. Why not let her and I meet up for a lunch on Wednesday – you know, the day after the performance – and give her the impression that Adlan is okay with us seeing each other again, naturally just as friends?” Nazir nodded his head but replied, “It could work, but how can you be sure she will want to? Adlan said she took it hard when he told her you were with Tiffanie now.” I smiled and said, “Trust me. I will have her eating out of my hand in no time.”
Nazir smiled and said he had some work to do but he would ask Aslan and Adlan what they thought. As I left to return to work I turned and asked Nazir, “You look stressed. Would you like to have me for a few minutes?” He walked over to me, smiling, and said, “Yes, after closing.”

  When the last customers left that evening Nazir motioned for me to follow him into the office. He did not mention anything at first, preferring to use my body for his own gratification. Yet afterwards, as I rested in his arms he said, “Amber, I talked with Adlan and he insists that we need to get to the bottom of this Petra question. He said everything is okay. You two are paired off on Tuesday and can spend time with each other Wednesday. However, you must find out if she has family.” I asked, “Family? What do you mean family?” He replied, “It is all you have to know. Just find out if she has any female family that may have lived in Portland in recent years.” I struggled to remain calm, “Okay, that sounds easy enough. Is there anything else? You want me to start sleeping with her again?” He snapped, “Absolutely not! Just talk with her for now. Find out what you can. If she acts nervous I want to know that too.” I assured him I would do my best. Of course his comment about family really caused me alarm…what did they suspect? Nazir then asked, “In case it is discovered Petra is not all she seems, you do understand what must result.” I took a deep breath and replied, “The bitch has it coming if she is some sort of cop!” He remained motionless, expressionless and looked away from me, “You know how a cat plays with its prey? It torments it, tortures it, and finally bites it in the throat until it dies. That is what cats do…should men who are betrayed be any different?” I shot back, “Do what you feel you must.” He nodded his head, “Only if we find out she is not as she appears. Otherwise Adlan says he is well pleased with her. He says she is durable…she heals fast I suppose.” I swallowed and said, “Well, I hope everything works out and she is merely some common girl. It would be a waste to…well, I don’t really want to know what you would have in mind.” He laughed, “She’s just a Russian but she would be valuable. You know what a heart or a kidney goes for on the black market?” I laughed, “You do know how to make money, don’t you?” At that he said he had things to do. I left the club and on the way home I began to panic. There was nothing I could do to help Katja except find a way to cover for her. And if that did not work what if she wound up tortured and informed them of me? We were both in mortal danger and nobody could help us.

  On Sunday morning Tiffanie asked, “Do you mind if I go visit my family in Prineville today? I just found out my mom fell off a ladder and broke her arm yesterday.” I said I would manage alone and that I had to work anyway. She kissed me and I asked, “Shall you tell her about us?” She hugged me and asked, “Us? Do you remember what I said?” I smiled and said, “Maybe you should wait, we have not even been dating for a month you know.” She laughed and said, “You are right. Maybe around Christmas if you grow on me you can visit the family and I will jump out of the closet.” We both laughed and held each other a moment. She then began getting things together.

  Once she left I began the process of planning out the day. I desperately needed to get some things from my other house, but I was unsure how to go about it without anyone knowing. I tugged at the bracelet, there was absolutely no way I could remove the horrible thing. Suddenly I realized what I could do – there was a jogging trail going past my house so I quickly searched Tiffanie’s things until I found a little back pack in her closet. It seemed more appropriate for a little girl as it had cartoon princesses adorning it, but it would have to do. I would have to be really quick in making sure not to arouse any suspicion if any of the Zagriev brothers were monitoring their tracker system that day.

  I drove over to the park near the house and parked the car. I then began my jog around the park before turning down the street I used to live on. Soon I could see my house and in a sprint I ran up the driveway, quickly unlocked the door, and rushed to gather the items I needed. First, I unlocked the cabinet in the kitchen and there it was – Nicole’s 9mm. Then I rushed into the garage and stuck my hand under the large metal shelves Gerald had used for his tools. Soon I found the envelope with Daniel’s old CD with the map to the cave, as well as other files that I had never bothered to read in detail. I remembered one titled ‘recipe’ that contained what I absolutely needed. While putting the items in the back pack I could not help but notice the pictures on the wall above the fireplace. These were the pics of Nicole and I, Matt and I, Matt and Nicole, and of course the children. I knew that if I ever wanted to see them again I had to succeed. I cushioned the items with some dish towels, and quickly ran out the door and continued circling around my neighborhood until returning to my car and heading back to Tiffanie’s.

  When I finally arrived I suddenly realized that in my rush I had forgotten to grab any bullets! Fortunately, I popped out the clip and found it had a full ten rounds. These would have to do. I then rushed to my laptop and inserted the CD. I opened up the file and was relieved that it contained the directions for making a variety of substances ranging from poison to tranquilizers. I made a list and after a quick trip to the supermarket pharmacy I had everything I needed. On the way back to the apartment I took a quick detour to the Goodwill second-hand store and to my delight I found everything from sleeping bags to old flashlights and the tools I needed.

  Of course I left everything in the trunk of the car. The last thing I needed were prying questions from Tiffanie when she returned home. I took note I only had a few hours before I had to go to work. Rather than rush I took a chance and called Nazir, claiming that I felt lousy. He immediately asked if I were starting my cycle and I assured him that I was just feeling a little bug or something and that I would be totally okay for work Monday night. He asked me to take care of myself and even suggested that I come in around noon on Monday if I wanted to do some office work with him. Just to make sure my cover was still believable I asked, “Petra is not working on Monday, is she?” He asked me to wait a second and he said she was not scheduled until Tuesday evening for the performance.

  That afternoon and evening I desperately tried to make sense of Daniel’s notes. I laughed a bit when I caught myself asking aloud, “So my dearest departed Daniel, how did you make your special chemical weapons?” I did not want to stain my clothing so I undressed and began the process of mixing a little of this and a little of that. I felt like some ancient alchemist working on the magic mixture, or more appropriately I imagined myself a witch concocting her special brew for her intended victims.

  Of course there was no testing of the mixture to see if it worked. I only hoped that the tranquilizer would knock someone out, but not kill them. The killing would be left to potion number two, which only then did I realize would have to be administered with a hypodermic needle. I wondered how to get one of those – and then an answer came to mind…of course it would be dangerous. I borrowed Tiffanie’s old bike and headed to a nearby bridge. In the past I had seen junkies shooting up under bridges so I hoped the one a few miles from Tiffanie’s place would contain what I desired. It was getting late and so if I was going to try to find a used needle I had to do it soon. I immediately got dressed, found a pair of plastic dishwashing gloves, and got ready to go. However, I first called Tiffanie using her home phone to ask when she would return. When she found out it was me calling she said, “Hey there love, how you doing?” I heard the voice of what seemed like an older woman call out in the background, “Is that your boyfriend calling?” to which Tiffanie yelled back, “Maybe!” before whispering to me, “They will sure be in for a shock at Christmas, huh?” I laughed and said I looked forward to it. Then, to my total delight, she said, “Hey dear, would you be disappointed if I stay over and leave in the morning?” I faked sorrow, “If you want to I guess I will survive.” She promised to make it up to me when she returned.

  I was blessed with the evening to prepare everything. First, however, I had to try to find a needle. I headed out the door and after a fe
w minutes I came to the bike trail. The sun was resting on the horizon so I had to work fast. I rode as fast as I could. Once I came to the bridge I quickly went under it and explored the bare, trash-filled areas where transients must have congregated at night. I was fortunate that none were in the area just then, and even more fortunate that a needle was laying on the ground next to a discarded pair of pants. I carefully picked it up with the gloves, slid it into an old sunglass container, and quickly headed back to Tiffanie’s.

  I soon returned home with my needle safely packed away. However, I was not going to take any chances with HIV so I carefully took it out and put it in alcohol. I knew it was not enough to completely sterilize it, but I at least could decrease the danger if I accidentally poked myself.