by Zoe Allison
He nodded. “She was just calling with an update. He’s making progress.”
Relief at that news went some way to soothing her. “That’s good. I hope he gets onto the general ward soon.”
“Yes,” Damon said. “They’re going to see how he does over the next twenty-four hours.”
“Are the kids okay?” Eva asked.
“Yeah, they seem to be.” He paused. “I hope they aren’t traumatized by the way it happened.”
“I don’t think so,” Eva told him. “You and Sarah have done a good job of reassuring them and explaining things. I reckon they’ll be just fine.”
She studied him. There was a look on his face, something different to before. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she figured he must’ve been thinking about Sarah.
“Come here,” he said quietly, drawing her close. He stroked her hair. “Can you stay over tonight?”
“I’d like to,” she said. “But I think I’d better stay at home after being away last night or Mum is going to go crazy and book us a wedding venue.”
Damon laughed. “And my mum will be there with her, planning it all.”
Eva was aware that she was doing it again. Building back up the internal wall that Damon had so far managed to break down. But she needed to protect herself from developing any further feelings for him. Although my emotions run pretty deep already.
She hesitated, feeling vulnerable due to her worries about Sarah. “Can I come over again tomorrow after work though?”
He smiled. “Of course. I was hoping you’d say that.” He hugged her tightly.
She held him in return, the sting of tiny tears in her eyes. But she didn’t let them surface and brought herself under control before she drew away.
After Eva got home, she dreamed about Damon all night. The recurring theme being her reaching for him and grasping his hand, but him being pulled away by Sarah.
* * * *
The next day when Eva reached Damon’s, they managed to make it to the hallway before falling in a heap and having sex on the floor. On Wednesday they made it to the living room sofa, on Thursday they were halfway up the stairs and on Friday they’d gone to the kitchen to fix drinks first, but their plan of taking them to bed fell by the wayside as they succumbed against the kitchen counter.
After they eventually got upstairs with their glasses of wine, they lay in bed talking about their days, sipping at their drinks. Damon’s phone started buzzing with Sarah’s number. He looked at Eva.
She gestured towards the phone. “Answer it.” She took a sip of her drink, trying to pretend she wasn’t thrown.
He did as he was told. “Hi. Whoa, slow down… What happened? Back to coronary care? I thought he was doing okay on the general ward?”
Eva’s heart sank, but this time not for selfish reasons. She searched Damon’s face as he spoke.
He rubbed his forehead. “It’s okay. Everything will be alright. I promise.”
Eva wanted to reach out and hold his hand but somehow couldn’t, like it wasn’t hers to hold. After a couple of more minutes, he came off the phone. Eva waited for him to speak, feeling sick.
Damon sighed. “He’s had to go back to coronary care. They think he might’ve had another heart attack. They’re running some tests.”
Eva shook her head. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. Is he stable?”
“I think so. It’s hard to tell,” Damon said. “Sarah was too upset to get much sense out of her.”
“Do you think you should go over there?” Eva asked.
“No, they only allow two visitors, and Sarah and her mum are there,” Damon said. “Our neighbour is watching the kids.”
“Are you worried about them?” Eva said. “We could go and get them.” She set her wineglass onto the bedside table and made to get out of bed. “I haven’t drunk much of my wine, so I can drive us.”
Damon looked at her for a second then took her hand, pulling her back towards him. He had that funny expression again, the one she couldn’t fathom. It always seemed to occur when they were discussing Sarah.
“It’s okay, Evie. But thank you,” he said, brushing her hair from her face. “They’re asleep already and our neighbour is just in the house until Sarah gets back.”
Eva nodded. She couldn’t say anything else in case she burst into tears. She hated herself for being so selfish at such a difficult time.
Damon lay back. “Do you want to have another glass of wine and stay over tonight? The kids won’t be coming till lunchtime.”
Eva struggled with her willpower, wanting to say no because of her natural instinct to protect herself from her feelings because he clearly didn’t reciprocate them. But she wanted so desperately to be with him…so she said yes.
Chapter Twenty
Eva was in the shower on Saturday night, trying to wash away her tension. Before she’d left Damon’s that morning he’d asked her to stay and go for lunch with him and the kids, but she’d made an excuse to leave because she was becoming more afraid of her emotions.
She’d stayed awake a lot of the night watching Damon sleeping, thinking how handsome he was, how caring, how sexy. Then she remembered the softness in his voice when he was comforting Sarah on the phone.
She was falling for him all over again and she needed to stop herself because he was still in love with Sarah. It wasn’t that what she had with him wasn’t good. But to him it was obviously just lust, two friends having sex and nothing more. He didn’t care for her the way she did for him. And he never has. She thought back to their school days and the exact same predicament of being in love with him and him not knowing she was alive. At least now she had a physical relationship with him.
Eva decided that over the weekend she’d stay away and try to collect herself, but it was by no means easy. She thought about him constantly, and her resolve seriously weakened on Sunday night when he messaged to ask her if she’d come over after the kids had gone home. She was about to reply to accept, then she remembered the look in his eyes when they were discussing Sarah. So she made another excuse and said she’d call him on Monday after work.
Everything okay?
Fine, thanks. Just exhausted and need to be on the ball at work tomorrow.
No problem. Speak soon xx
Damon wasn’t far from her thoughts at work. She was able to concentrate in the short ten-minute bursts that she was consulting with patients, but in between times when she was completing notes, she really had to focus. For once she didn’t mind that there wasn’t time to leave her desk for lunch, because she wasn’t hungry.
The afternoon clinic passed more slowly and Eva began to grow more nervous about getting home and calling Damon. She didn’t know what to do.
Her penultimate patient arrived and her mind zoned in again. As they entered the room, she automatically did her subconscious assessment. She was a young mother carrying a small child. He was one at the most. He appeared lethargic, asleep on his mum’s shoulder. His cheeks were flushed.
She smiled at the little boy’s mum as she took a seat. “So, what’s brought Adam in to see us today?”
“When I collected him from nursery, they said he hadn’t been himself this afternoon,” Adam’s mum said. “He was a bit feverish but not enough for them to call me at work. However, I didn’t like the look of him and he felt really hot, so I called to make this appointment.”
Eva asked a few more questions: Had he eaten and drank that day? Had he been passing urine normally? Was he unwell the previous day or even that morning? Any cough, vomiting or diarrhoea?
His mum gave all the information, but there wasn’t much to go on. He’d been fine when she’d dropped him off, maybe just a snuffly nose and no other symptoms since except the temperature.
Eva asked to examine him, and when his mum turned him around, Eva startled slightly. He looked very similar to another little boy she used to know, one called Oliver. She quashed that thought, focusing on the task at hand.
Adam stirred with the movement and turned his head towards Eva.
“I’m sorry, Doctor,” his mum said. “He’ll probably kick off now because he never likes being examined.”
Eva smiled. “Don’t worry. That’s no problem.”
But Adam didn’t cry. He just sat there staring at Eva in a glazed fashion, making her uneasy. She checked him over thoroughly. He did indeed have a fever and a slightly runny nose, so he could have a viral bug on board. His heart rate was a little high and so was his breathing rate. Everything else was normal. He had a slight rash on his body, but it appeared to be a viral rash rather than a sinister one.
Yet Eva was still edgy.
She pointed out the rash to the mum, who said that it hadn’t been there when they’d gotten into the car to come to the surgery. Eva explained it was a blanching rash, i.e. it faded with pressure, which meant it didn’t fit with a meningitis sort of rash.
Eva verbalized her thoughts. “He has a temperature, and his heart rate and breathing rate are a bit fast,” she said. “Now, the latter two things may well be due to the temperature itself. What I’m trying to decide is whether it’s just a viral bug giving him the temperature and the other findings, or could there be something else to blame, like a hidden bacterial sort of infection. The rash also looks like it could be due to a virus.”
Adam’s mum nodded.
“However…” Eva tried to choose her words carefully, “I am a bit worried. You said he had medicine at nursery but his temperature hasn’t reduced and he’s not behaving normally. You said he’d tend to be upset when examined but he’s sitting quite listlessly at the moment.” She paused. “I’m not overtly worried, but there’s enough for me to say I want you to take him to the paediatric hospital now to be checked out. Would that be okay?”
“Yes of course,” Adam’s mum said. “I’ll go straight away. I was quite worried myself, so I’m happy to take him.”
“If you’re worried, then that’s reason in itself to get checked,” Eva said. “I’ll do a letter for you to take along.”
Eva quickly scribbled a letter for them and handed it over. Adam’s mum picked him up and thanked her.
The last patient came in and Eva pushed Adam to the back of her mind while she concentrated. But after they left and she finished her notes and admin for the day he played on her mind more and more. Something wasn’t right with him. She remembered her trainer telling her that often in general practice you could feel when something sinister was going on, rather than there being any concrete evidence. Unfortunately, in medicine sinister things didn’t always overtly show themselves or present how they logically should.
On the drive home her worry mounted and mounted. Why had he been so listless? Was it just a nasty virus or something more? And the boy’s similarity to Oliver started to bother her.
‘It will be all right, won’t it, Eva? We’ve caught it in time?’
Eva started to feel panicky. The way she was feeling was down to what had happened in the past rather than the present, but it didn’t bring her any comfort.
By the time she got home, she was close to tears. Her parents’ car wasn’t on the driveway. But in any case, there was only one person she wanted to talk to right now. She reversed back off the drive, heading for Damon’s house.
He opened the door with a smile, which morphed into a frown once he took in the look on her face. “What’s wrong?”
She came into his arms and he shut the door behind her. Eva stayed silent, her face buried in his shoulder. But she couldn’t prevent the tears any longer.
“God, what is it? Are your mum and dad okay?” he asked, his voice rising.
His jumper muffled her speech. “Yes, they’re fine. I’m sorry. I’m overreacting about nothing.”
He kissed the top of her head. “It doesn’t seem like nothing. Come on.”
Damon held onto her and led her into the living room, then sat them both onto the sofa. He drew her tightly into him. “Evie, just tell me. Please.”
She took a deep breath as he stroked her hair.
Her voice was wobbly. “There was patient today, a one-year-old boy. He became poorly over the day and hopefully it’s a virus, but I was worried about him so I got his mum to take him to the hospital to get checked over.”
“He’s in the right place,” Damon said. “You’ve done the right thing.”
“I know, but it mightn’t be enough,” Eva said, lifting her head to meet his eyes. “That’s the trouble in medicine. You can do everything right, everything by the book, but the worst still happens.”
Damon paused. “This isn’t about the little boy, is it?”
“No. Not this one, anyway,” she said.
Damon stayed silent, stroking her cheek.
Eva swallowed. “The place where I worked before was in a small town on the outskirts of the city,” she said. “Callum and I lived there, and I also worked at the local surgery. It was quite nice knowing all the patients—but it had its downsides.”
“Like people trying to consult you in the supermarket?” Damon asked gently.
Eva gave a tiny laugh. “Yeah, that was one issue.” She played with the V-neck of his sweater. “Callum and I had a few friends in the town, but our closest ones were Mel and Andrew. They’d been trying for a baby for ages by the time we first met, and Mel confided in me about it. So I told her to make an appointment for some tests and get referred to the fertility clinic. To be honest, I hadn’t meant for her to see me in particular. It’s best not to treat friends or family, but she chose to see me and I didn’t want to discourage her and hurt her feelings.” Eva paused for breath.
Damon watched her, an intense look in his eyes.
“Anyway,” Eva continued. “They got referred and waited and waited for IVF treatment. It was so stressful for them, and Mel and I became really close friends over that time. They were one of the lucky couples for which it worked the first time, though the odds were against them. They had baby Oliver, and it was brilliant. We were so happy for them. They asked Callum and I to be his godparents and I was delighted.”
Eva had to stop at that point because the tears overflowed again.
Damon hugged her. “Take your time.”
She breathed in and out against his chest, his scent soothing her. “It was all good for a while. Then just before Oliver turned one, Mel called to say he appeared pale and was bruising easily. So I said to get him checked out as soon as possible. She did and again made the appointment with me, very soon after we’d spoken. I took one look at him and sent him up to the hospital the same day.” She paused. “The next day he was diagnosed with leukaemia.”
“Blood cancer?” Damon asked.
“Yes,” Eva said quietly.
Damon sighed.
“We acted on it as soon as she noticed the symptoms,” Eva said. “And the hospital did everything they could. Mel wanted me to come to all the big appointments with her and Andrew for my medical perspective, so I took annual leave to go with them. But in the end, it was just too aggressive.” She shut her eyes. “I remember the day the consultant had to break it to us that it was terminal.”
‘Eva, what are we going to do? Please don’t let it be true…’
Damon hugged her tight. “Evie, I’m so sorry. That’s why you were upset about that film.”
Eva sighed. “Yeah, it caught me off guard. I should’ve checked what it was about beforehand.”
Damon frowned. “Was all this going on when you caught Callum with Hannah?”
Eva nodded against his chest. “Yes. He knew all about Oliver’s diagnosis and treatment, and how much he meant to me as my godson, even though the honour didn’t seem to mean much to him. I kept trying to speak to him about it, but he was working late all the time. Well, working on Hannah, anyway.” Nausea washed over her as she spoke. “The day I came home and caught them together was the day Oliver died. I was sent home early because I was upset, and I wanted to talk to Callum.”
Damon tense
d. “That absolute fucking bastard.”
She squeezed him tightly. “Don’t worry. He got his comeuppance.”
Damon relaxed a little. “When you threw them out of the house stark naked?”
“Yeah, well, there’s a bit more detail,” Eva said, lifting her head. “I lost it. I hardly ever get angry, but after all the stress… Then, when it dawned on me what he’d been doing that whole time with everything poor little Oliver was going through, I saw red. I screamed at them and threw a vase and it smashed right next to their heads. The two of them were terrified. I threw them out, went upstairs and chucked the entire contents of his wardrobe out of the bedroom window. Then finally I threw out Callum’s car keys so they could get off my property.”
Damon smiled. “Sorry… I know it’s not funny, but I think it’s karma that he got what he deserved.”
Eva shrugged “I don’t care about him anymore. The cracks were already starting to show in our relationship way before Oliver got ill. I was pretty fed up with his selfishness. Then after this all happened, I discovered that even though I felt humiliated, I was relieved to be rid of him.” She met Damon’s gaze. “Oh, the other thing is that after we got the lawyers involved and the house sold, I heard from a mutual friend that there was trouble in paradise.”
“How come?” Damon asked, wiping the remnants of Eva’s tears from her cheeks.
“The sad little cow obviously thought our nice house and contents were all down to Callum’s salary and that I was some sort of desperate housewife,” Eva said. “That was probably the picture he deliberately painted. Not that I earn a fortune, but it was at least fifty-fifty in terms of what we brought into the household.” She sighed. “After our incomes were no longer joint, he could only afford a much smaller place and she was none too happy. They were rowing a lot and on the rocks, the last I heard.”
Damon shook his head. “For God’s sake, they deserve each other.” He stroked her cheek. “You do know that none of this was your fault, don’t you? What happened to Oliver? What happened with Callum?”