by Zoe Allison
“Yeah, I know.” Eva hugged him again. “But it doesn’t make it any better. It was after all that that I decided to leave the practice and come home. And no way was I going to work in the same town I lived in again. I also promised myself not to get too emotionally involved with any more patients—and look at me now.”
Damon kissed the top of her head. “What happened to Mel and Andrew?”
Eva sighed. “They were devastated, obviously. Yet Mel was still so lovely and supportive to me when she eventually heard what had happened with Callum. I felt so guilty that she was giving me any sympathy after what she’d been through.”
“Have you spoken to her since you moved?” Damon asked.
Eva shook her head. “Not yet, I haven’t been able to bring myself to.” She paused. “I know it’s selfish.”
“It’s not selfish,” Damon said. “You’re just trying to heal. But I do think it’d be helpful to the both of you if you contacted her.”
“I know. You’re right,” Eva said.
Damon hesitated. “Why don’t you call the hospital to check on the little boy? It might help you to know what’s happening.”
Eva thought about it. She shouldn’t get too involved, but she really needed to know if he was okay. “Yes, I think I will. Thank you.”
She lifted out her mobile and called the hospital. She explained to the nurse at the other end who she was and why she was calling. The nurse went to check what was happening and gain permission from Adam’s mum to update her.
When Eva hung up, fresh tears welled in her eyes. “He’s deteriorated. They think it actually is meningitis and he’s getting treated for it.”
Damon rubbed his forehead. “Shit. I thought you were going to say it was all fine.”
“See what I mean?” Eva said. “Sometimes these things don’t show themselves and that’s when you can get caught out.”
“I know, sweetheart. But you did catch it, and you’ve done everything you can.” Damon drew her back into him. “Do you want to stay here tonight? Just to sleep, I mean,” he added quickly. “Then in the morning you can call again to see how he is before you go to work.”
Eva considered it, remembering her previous vow to keep Damon at arm’s length emotionally. But her resolve collapsed. “Yes, thanks, I’d really like that.”
Damon made them both something to eat, and after that, Eva was dead on her feet so they went upstairs to bed. Damon gave her a T-shirt and some shorts to wear as pyjamas.
Eva got changed while Damon stripped to his underwear, and after she was finished, she caught him watching her.
“Not the sexiest bed wear, is it?” she quipped.
“It is on you,” he said softly.
Eva borrowed a spare toothbrush then the two of them climbed into bed. She was exhausted to her core, yet somehow lighter for having shared things with Damon. It didn’t take long for her to drop off, but the feeling of unease lingered again as she realised she’d tethered herself even more tightly to him emotionally. She clung to him as she drifted off, her final conscious thought going round her head.
I’m in serious trouble here.
Chapter Twenty-One
In the morning Eva called the hospital again but was told there would be no more news until the ward round had been completed.
Eva hugged Damon goodbye and promised to let him know when she heard about Adam. He had that strange look in his eyes again. Had he spoken to Sarah while she was in the bathroom?
She headed home to shower and change into fresh clothes for work. Then she made her way back into the surgery. She decided to call the hospital straight after morning clinic was done. The ward round should be finished by then. As she went from patient to patient, Adam wasn’t far from her thoughts and neither was Damon. Finally, the last person left her room and she lifted the phone to call the hospital. She waited patiently for them to answer, then again while the nurse went to check the information.
“There’s good news this morning, Dr. Mathers,” the nurse said when she came back to the phone. “Adam’s stabilized well overnight with the antibiotics, and the consultant is pleased with his progress. Hopefully, he’ll be moved out of the special care unit soon.”
Eva sighed. “That’s brilliant news. Thank you so much for finding out for me.” Relief flooded through her like a warm, soothing liquid. She called Damon.
“Evie?”
“I just got off the phone with the hospital. It’s fine. He’s doing a lot better.”
He sighed. “Thank goodness. There’s more good news too. Sarah’s dad is doing well. He didn’t have another heart attack after all and he’s back on the normal ward.”
Eva smiled. “Brilliant. It’s about time we had positive news.”
“Definitely,” Damon said. “I reckon our fortunes are changing. Sarah wants me to go out for a family dinner tomorrow night with her and the kids, but can I see you tonight? We can go out if you like.”
A family dinner? What if the situation with her dad had made Sarah realise what she’d thrown away with Damon and she wanted to ask him back? Eva should probably stay away and take up camp behind her emotional wall again. But then again, if Damon and Sarah were going to end up back together and Eva’s heart was inevitably broken, surely she should make the most of her time with Damon before it all came crashing down around her ears.
“Yes, let’s meet tonight,” she said. “But I don’t want to go out. I’ll come over to yours. I’d like you to myself.”
“You got it,” Damon said. “I’ll see you soon.”
Eva finished the day feeling much lighter than the previous evening. She drove over to Damon’s. He was smiling as he opened the door to greet her and she went straight into his arms.
“Come on,” she said, taking his hand. “This time we’re finally going to make it to the bedroom.”
She led him up the stairs and into the room. Damon tugged her hand gently and brought her into him to kiss her. Smiling against her mouth, he collapsed them both onto the bed.
Eva tried to drink in everything about him—his warm brown eyes and the way his hair fell onto his forehead, the scent of his skin and the soft, exquisite friction of it against hers, the feel of his lips moving over her mouth, then the fiery tide of sensation they elicited as he grazed them down her body to reach her most intimate areas.
He licked and teased her until she nearly lost control but stopped short of taking her over the edge, so in tune with her body that he knew exactly how close he could get her.
He raised himself up to rest his forehead against hers as he gradually inched inside her. Everything he did was slow and considered. Each movement intensified the already unbearable ache in her pelvis and the look in his eyes was so intense that it was as if she was drowning in them.
Eva discovered that she hadn’t experienced something this powerful before—and not just in the physical sense. That was her last coherent thought before she lost herself in rapture.
Damon kissed her as he thrust deeper. He moaned her name against her lips, the sound of it intensifying her pleasure impossibly further until its swell overwhelmed her. It lifted inside her, the breath leaving her body as it reached a crescendo on a fierce tide of emotion.
Damon collapsed onto her, holding her tightly, the sound of his breathing laboured at her ear.
She wrapped her arms around him, the last remnants of her emotional wall tumbling down. That was it. There was no denying she’d fallen for him.
She buried her face in his neck and breathed him in, savouring the delicious feeling of his body against hers, their skin in the ultimate head-to-toe contact.
Eva didn’t know how long they lay there holding each other until Damon rolled to her side and drew her into his body. They both drifted off to sleep.
In the morning Eva awoke first, seeing Damon and happily remembering where she was. She stroked his cheek. He was so beautiful when he was sleeping.
Damon opened his eyes and a slow smile spread across h
is face. He reached out and pulled her towards him. “Mmm.” He kissed her neck. “It wasn’t just a fantastic dream then. Last night was amazing.”
She smiled. “You can pat yourself on the back. I can’t remember it ever being that good before.”
He brushed her hair behind her ear. “You mean not with Callum?”
“I mean not with anyone,” Eva said. “Not that I’ve got a lot of notches on my bedpost. You’re only the third.”
He grinned. “I’m still taking that as a compliment.”
She laughed. “You should, because it is.”
He bent his elbow under his head. “I’m only a couple of notches up from you, so let’s call it even. Hey, you know who my first was, but who was yours?”
“Brian,” she said.
“That guy you went out with at college?”
“Yep, that’s right.” Eva grinned. “Unfortunately, he didn’t have the experience of Tracey McKenna, but he did his best.”
Damon groaned and rubbed his temples with his fingers. “Don’t even mention her name.”
Eva manoeuvred herself so that her back was pushed against Damon’s chest. “Come on,” she said. “You must’ve liked her at the time.”
He played with her hair. “She dragged me into a bush and stripped us both naked,” he said. “I was sixteen years old and all us lads were bothered about at the time was losing the V-plates. We didn’t really care who with.”
“Ugh,” Eva said. “That’s so unromantic.” She nestled her back further into him, enjoying the sensation of his hands in her hair. “You know,” she said, “I think we should give Tracey a break. Martina told Jane that Tracey really did like you, even back when we were sixteen. She wanted you to ask her out, and seducing you in a bush was her way of letting you know that. But even though it wasn’t a very subtle tactic, you still didn’t ask her, and that was all that ever happened between you. She must’ve felt pretty used, as well as disappointed.”
Even though she and Tracey had opposite approaches, Tracey stripping both herself and Damon naked versus Eva refusing to speak to him at all, they both were infatuated with him and so Eva could understand and empathise with Tracey’s feelings.
Damon sighed. “You’re making me feel really bad now. I just thought I was the latest in her line of conquests. She never gave me any reason to think otherwise, and I wouldn’t ever have made the first move with her. All joking aside, she really wasn’t my type.” He paused. “I should’ve had the sense to throw her off back then as well.”
Eva shook her head. “Don’t feel bad. That’s not what I’m getting at. You were only a teenager and you’re right that hormones ruled our heads at that age. The main thing is that you wouldn’t make the same mistake now, whereas the likes of Callum are still so driven by testosterone that they can’t keep it in their pants, despite being grown men.”
Damon kissed her ear. “I’m not surprised you’re sympathising with Tracey—and with the teenage me. You’re always so understanding of everyone else’s point of view.”
She laughed. “Yeah, just not Callum’s.”
“No,” Damon said, nuzzling into her hair. “He’ll always remain a douchebag in my book.”
Eva turned her head towards him, smiling. “Are you sniffing my hair?”
He nestled his face further into her curls. “Yeah, totally. I’m not ashamed to admit I’m addicted to your scent. You smell like summertime.”
Eva laughed and turned her head back again. “What about the other girlfriends pre-Sarah? I assume you liked them.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t love them. Sarah was the first one I loved,” Damon said.
Eva attempted to drown out the voice in her head, the one telling her that Sarah was still the one he loved. She tried to stifle it by talking. “That’s interesting,” she said. “I can’t imagine what that’s like. I’ve been in love with everyone I’ve slept with.”
Even before she uttered the last syllable, she understood the implication of what she’d said and wished she could grab the words from the air and stuff them back in her mouth. Thank goodness she was facing away from him so that he couldn’t see her face. Would he put two and two together? Of course he will.
His voice was quiet. “Eva—”
“Shit! Look at the time. I’ve got an early clinic today.” Eva jumped out of the bed and scooped her clothes, sweeping everything into the bathroom. She quickly washed and dressed, then burst out of the bathroom past where Damon was sitting in bed with a confused expression on his face.
She ran to the front door, calling up the stairs as she went. “Sorry, Damon! I hope your dinner tonight goes well. I’ll phone you.”
She thought she heard him call her name down the stairs just before she slammed the door and roared off in her car.
At lunchtime Eva’s phone rang with Damon’s number and she ignored it. A voicemail flashed but she didn’t listen. She was too scared of what it might say.
By the time she got home that evening, she’d had another two missed calls from him and two more voicemails. There was no way she was going to pick them up. She imagined Damon letting her down gently, telling her that he didn’t see what they had going anywhere beyond friends with benefits.
Eva called Rachel and told her everything about Adam and how she’d confided in Damon, plus more detail regarding Oliver than she’d ever disclosed previously. It was as if letting Damon in had enabled her to do the same with her other loved ones.
Rachel listened quietly.
By the time Eva got to the part about how she had fallen for Damon and accidentally given it away, she was in tears.
“Don’t cry, Evie,” Rachel said. “It’s not that bad.”
“How could it be any worse?” Eva said. “He’s out with Sarah right now and she’s probably telling him she wants him back. He’ll be ecstatic because he still loves her and so excited to have his family together again. He really misses living with the kids, you know.”
“I don’t doubt that,” Rachel said. “However, I seriously doubt that he still loves Sarah.”
“How do you know?” Eva asked.
“I just do. If you really want my opinion, I think he loves you,” Rachel said.
Eva shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“Come on,” Rachel said. “You’ve made leaps and bounds with all this emotional stuff and I think it’s brilliant. But you just need to go that extra mile. You have to tell him how you really feel. You can’t be scared.”
“Yes, I can,” Eva said.
“Eva. This isn’t going to go away if you ignore it. Be honest with Damon.”
Eva sighed. “I’ll just bury it and eventually I’ll get over him…like I got over Callum.”
“That was different,” Rachel said. “And it’s totally messed you up for future relationships. You’re too scared to let yourself be vulnerable because you were hurt so badly last time. You can’t let that be Callum’s legacy.”
Eva hesitated. “I don’t know.”
“Just promise me you’ll think about it,” Rachel said.
Eva’s head swam as she tried to process everything. “I’ll try.”
“I’m going to call you tomorrow to see what you’ve decided,” Rachel said. “I’m not going to let up until you take action.”
“Careful, Rach, or I’ll start ditching your calls,” Eva said.
“Okay, okay. I’m still calling you, though.”
After Eva ended hung up, she lay on her bed and stared at the ceiling, her mind on Damon. Funny, she could remember being in this exact same position thinking about him when she was at school. Life hadn’t moved on at all. She sighed and tried to stop imagining him kissing Sarah at the end of the evening. Eventually, once her mind had exhausted itself, she fell asleep.
She awoke with a start a couple of hours later. Her phone was buzzing on the bedside table. Damon was calling again. She stared at the phone, trying to summon the willpower to answer. She thought about what Rachel had said. She
was right that Callum had messed everything up for her with his gaslighting. She shouldn’t let him get away with affecting her current emotional choices but she just couldn’t bring herself to pick up the phone.
Eva lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling as the phone rang off and beeped with yet another voicemail. She stared into the darkness.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The next working day passed in a cloud of misery for Eva. A few times she lifted her phone, intending to at least listen to the voicemails, but she chickened out at the last minute every time. On one occasion she nearly dialled Damon’s number, but after she hovered her finger over the call button for a few seconds, she put the phone back down. It was probably for the best if she just didn’t speak to him for a while, let him get on with things with Sarah and make a clean break.
She arrived home from work dejected. She was miserable without Damon and it’d only been thirty-six hours since she’d seen him. In her mind’s eye, a lifetime without him stretched before her.
She entered the house and practically tripped over a suitcase. “What the?”
“Eva? Is that you?” Meena called from the kitchen.
“Yeah. What’s this case doing here?” Eva called back.
Her mum appeared in the hallway. “It’s our long weekend away. Remember?”
Eva had forgotten that her parents were going away that evening until Sunday night. Great. Three whole nights alone, pining for Damon. The situation was getting more depressing by the minute.
“Yeah, that’s right,” Eva said. “Are you all set?”
Meena nodded. “The taxi’s coming.”
“Right now?” Eva said.
“Yes”.” Meena looked at Eva. “Beti, do you want us to cancel?”
“No,” Eva said. “Of course not. Why would I want that?”
Meena frowned. “We can tell something has happened. You didn’t eat a thing last night and I heard you crying on the phone when I passed your bedroom door.” She touched Eva’s arm. “Is it Damon?” she asked softly.