Wild Sexy Fix
Page 7
He kept looking at me, and under the force of his gaze, my body started to tremble. I looked down at my hands. My fingers were clasped, entwined and twisting.
“Daphne,” he said finally, his voice low, “is this arrangement working for you?”
I closed my eyes. I was suddenly very thirsty. I went to the sink, ran water into a glass, and drank some of it. I rinsed out the glass.
He got up. “Are you going to answer me?”
“I don’t…” I closed my eyes, unable to form words. “I don’t know.”
He came over to stand by the counter, just a few steps from me. “I’m asking you because…” He paused, and his lips quirked in a self-mocking smile. “I know it’s not working for me. It never has. I felt it from the first day we met, that what we had would be different from anything I’d ever experienced before…and I know you felt it too.”
From the moment I locked eyes with you. I breathed. “I don’t…I’m not…” I stopped and sighed, unsure what I wanted to say.
He took a step toward me. “I never stopped wanting to be with you, Daphne. It hasn’t been just sex for me, almost from the beginning.”
I never wanted you to be alone again, not when I could be there for you.
As much as I wanted to wrap his words around me like a blanket, my head resisted, and a familiar panic bloomed in my chest. “What are you saying?” I asked in a rush. There was so much going through my mind. I’d rejected him once already, and since then we’d let the naked physicality of our need for each other dictate our relationship. Now, though…
“I don’t do commitment.” I said the words as if I was reciting them from a speech I’d memorized in another lifetime. “I never have. I can’t have feelings for you…for anyone…because I need to be able to walk away.” I turned my panicked eyes to his. “Don’t you understand? I need to be able to know I’m never going to feel abandoned again.”
Jason’s voice was patient. “Not everyone is going to abandon you.”
My voice was high. “What if you can’t help it?”
He made a frustrated sound. “What if whatever hypothetical you imagine in the future is not worth sacrificing what we have right now?”
What if…
What if…
I stared at my hands. My chest felt unbelievably tight. “I have to be able to walk away,” I repeated blankly.
“Are you going to walk away from Amy?” he asked softly. “Are you going to walk away from every single friend you’ve ever made and keep doing it all your life?”
I could, I told myself. I could if I had to.
He exhaled. “You want to be free to walk away from me? And feel nothing?” His voice was heartbreakingly gentle, and he took my hand, curling his warm, firm fingers around mine. “Can’t you see it’s already too late? Whatever you’re afraid of, it’s already happened. I can’t walk away from you, and I don’t believe you can be so blind that you still think you can dismiss what we have.”
“What do we have?” I was searching desperately for an out. “You admitted at your parents’ that it was just sex. You said tonight that I’m a booty call. We have a casual sexual relationship.”
His eyes flared. “Stop it. You know that’s not true. I said those things…because I was hurt. I’ve never wanted to be with someone the way I want to be with you, and every day you act like it’s just some…mutual sex thing that will fade away, it fucking hurts me, and for God’s sake, I can see it hurts you too.”
I closed my eyes. “Jason…”
“Listen to me,” he said softly, “you don’t have to be alone. Just say the word and you’ll never have to be.”
Something relaxed inside of me. My eyes were wet as I raised them to his, and I tried to smile. “What word?” I asked, my voice soft.
His eyes widened then he smiled and drew me to him, his fingers tightening around mine. “How about stay?” he said. “That’s a good word.”
I pulled in a breath. I felt free and happy, at peace with what I was about to do. ‘Stay,” I whispered.
His chest rose. “As long as you want.”
Chapter Seven
I went to sleep with him holding me, and when I woke up in the early hours of the morning, he was still there. He’d undressed and joined me in bed, holding me under the covers all night. I watched him sleep, marveling at how innocent he looked. There was no hint of the teasing, the confidence, or the magnetic sexiness. It was just Jason, beautiful, perfect…and mine.
Mine.
I sighed in contentment and he opened his eyes.
“What time is it?”
“Early morning.”
He drew me into his arms. “Do you want me to leave before Amy gets here?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I guess I’m kind of ready to tell her, but she might be a while if she decides to sleep in.” It was Saturday after all.
Jason nodded and drew me in for a kiss. “How about I go home and change, and I’ll be back here in time for a late breakfast. We’ll tell her then and go out for coffee and burritos. I know this place from when I used to live around here. You’ll love it.”
I smiled. “It’s a date then.”
He kissed me again. “Yes, it is.”
He got dressed, and I walked with him to the door. He kissed me again and took the stairs two at a time, bounding down to the street where a car was waiting for him.
I closed the door, feeling strangely light and happy. I knew things weren’t perfect yet. I wasn’t perfect yet, but whatever resistance was left to being with him, it felt good to know we were going to work through it together.
When I emerged from my room much later, Amy was in the kitchen. Her hair was in a ponytail and she was wearing running shoes and workout gear.
“What happened to my roommate?” I exclaimed. Amy was averse to exercise.
She pointed to Colin, who was standing by the door with his arms folded in a defensive posture. He was also dressed in workout gear. “He made me,” she gasped before drinking more water. “And I’m never doing it again.”
“It was just a jog,” Colin said with a laugh.
“You need to be fit to lug all your camera equipment around,” I added, making for the coffeemaker then remembering I was having breakfast with Jason. I stopped, a small smile creeping onto my face.
“You see?” Colin gave Amy a triumphant smile. “Someone gets it.”
“I do lug all my camera equipment around,” Amy declared. “Therefore, I am fit.” She stretched and turned to me. “Did we miss anything at the club last night?”
I shrugged. “Not really. I didn’t stay much longer after you guys left.”
“You went to see your mystery beau,” she teased.
I swallowed my guilt. Now was the time to tell her who that mystery man was. Maybe if I told her now, she wouldn’t feel so blindsided by her brother and her roommate suddenly announcing that we were seeing each other and had been for quite a while.
“Actually, about that…” I started.
“It’s getting serious?” She smiled. “I knew it probably was. There’s just been something about you recently that screamed intense emotions, you know. I was going to ask you, but I didn’t want to pry, and I didn’t want it to seem like I couldn’t mind my business.”
I shook my head. “It is serious,” I said softly. “Now.”
“I’m just glad you’re seeing someone. You know I’ve been rooting for you to fall in love,” she said musingly. “I’m just glad you didn’t fall for Jason, because—well, you know, everybody does.”
I looked at Colin, and he smiled at me. I knew if he didn’t know, he probably suspected, but he’d been tightlipped about it. Bless the English.
“Are you going to let her tell us?” he said to Amy, his voice mild. He stretched. “I think I’m going to use your shower. I feel grimy with all this sweat.’
“It’s sexy,” Amy said, making goo-goo eyes at him. She remembered me and wrinkled her nose apologetically. “Okay
, Daphne, I have a confession, and I think I can tell you now that you’re seeing someone.” She swallowed. “When you had just moved in, I let it slip to Jason about your celibacy thing, and he said you wouldn’t be celibate around him.” She made a face, not noticing the sick look on mine. “I think he got a rude shock when you weren’t the least bit interested in him at all.”
The room was spinning.
My head was spinning.
“You challenged him to seduce me?” I barely choked out the words.
“No…no!” she exclaimed, noticing my devastated expression. “It wasn’t like that at all. I would never! It was just a comment I soon forgot about, but it doesn’t matter, right? It’s not like…”
“Amy.” Colin’s voice held a note of caution.
She looked from me to him.
I never wanted you to be alone again, not when I could be there for you.
I never stopped wanting to be with you.
I can’t walk away from you.
All fucking lies.
“It was a game,” I said slowly. It wasn’t a question; it was a realization. He’d been trying to prove something to himself? To his sister? That was why it hadn’t been enough for us to just have sex and forget about it. He had to have me, to announce that he had gotten me, to prove his sick point… Bile rose in my throat.
“Oh my God!” Amy’s voice crumpled. “He’s the one, isn’t he? He’s the person you’ve been seeing, since…oh my God! Since…” Her mouth worked as she doubtless remembered all the nights I’d spent away since that first night at Wild Things. “You left with him, that night at the club.” She looked at Colin for help. “You said you met someone…but it was him.” Her eyes welled. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think. Jesus! Daphne. I’m so sorry.”
I was a fool. I’m such a fool.
Amy took a step toward me. I shook my head and drew back from her. “Don’t.”
Colin’s voice was conciliatory. “Daphne…” he said calmly. “I’m sure she can explain.”
“Just fucking don’t,” I said, my voice sounding dead, even to my ears. “There’s nothing to explain. Fuck you Amy, and when you see your brother, tell him to go fuck himself.” I ignored her devastated expression and went into my room to start packing a bag.
Wild Sexy Hurt
Still need more of Jason? WILD SEXY HURT, the next book in this series, will be available very soon at all ebook retailers.
* * *
Get more information at Wild Sexy Hurt
* * *
If you’d like to get an email alert on release day, subscribe at www.serenagrey.com/alerts.
Author’s Note
Did you enjoy Wild Sexy Thing?
I hope you did. Many of us writers are shy creatures–I know I am–and our books are our way of sharing the stuff we never get to say in real life.
* * *
So thanks for being a part of my world if only for a short time. I hope you’ll keep on reading my work.
* * *
Please leave a review for this book on Goodreads, and on as many purchase sites as you like. I’d appreciate that very much.
* * *
If you want to get an email when the next book comes out, subscribe to my mailing list at www.serenagrey.com/alerts.
* * *
Love Always,
Serena.
* * *
♥♥♥
About Serena Grey
I’m obsessed with books and read whenever I can–romance, fantasy, mystery, history–anything I can lay my hands on. I grew up reading Danielle Steel, Nora Roberts and many other romance authors. These days, I read Whitney Garcia Williams, Laurelin Paige, E.L James and Sylvia Day, though you’re as likely to find me reading Brandon Sanderson and George R R Martin.
I’m an older millennial–made in 1985. I have a husband I love and a baby son I adore. I love wine, coffee with lots of cream, chocolate chip cookies, and my superpower is knowing how to live on the bright side of life.
To be the first to find out about my new releases,
sign up for my Mailing List at www.serenagrey.com/alerts
For more information, go to
www.serenagrey.com
Books by Serena Grey
A Dangerous Man Series
Awakening: A Dangerous Man #1
Rebellion: A Dangerous Man #2
Claim: A Dangerous Man #3
Surrender: A Dangerous Man #4
Undeniable
Swanson Court Series
Drawn to You
The Hooker
Addicted to You
Lost in You
Wild Sexy Series
Wild Sexy Thing
Wild Sexy Fix
Wild Sexy Hurt
Wild Sexy Love
* * *
Find at www.serenagrey.com/books