Back To You (In Tune Book 1)

by Jessica Ruddick

  “Are you going to eat that pie or just stare at it?” Aunt Rose asked me.

  I looked down at the pie I was holding. Meeting Aunt Rose’s eyes, I slowly lifted a bit to my mouth. “You can’t have it,” I said through my chewing. Maybe it was mean, but earlier, the woman had talked me into massaging her feet, which had nothing to do with her surgery recovery. She was an opportunist.

  Aunt Rose scowled.

  Leah laughed. “Don’t worry. I can bring you more.”

  My aunt patted her arm. “I knew I liked you.”

  “What’s not to like?” I drawled.

  Leah’s cheeks flushed pink, and I grinned as the color extended to her ears. It was adorable. Mission accomplished. When Leah and I had first crossed the line from friendship to dating, it had been easy to get that sort of reaction from her. As time went on, though, she grew immune to my flattery, and it didn’t embarrass her anymore. I guessed we were starting at ground zero, then. Good. It was a second chance for what we could—should—have had. There was no way in hell I was letting it pass us by.

  “Welp, on that note,” Aunt Rose said, struggling to pull herself out of the recliner. I rushed to help her. “I’m going to turn in.”

  “Do you need help washing up?” Leah asked.

  Aunt Rose shook her head. “I’m not going to trouble you.”

  “It’s no trouble. You probably can’t lift your arms, can you? I can wash your hair for you if you like.”

  “Well…”

  Leah stood. “Come on. I don’t feel clean unless my hair has been washed.” She took Aunt Rose’s arm from me and led her into the bathroom.

  Thirty minutes later, Leah quietly shut the master bedroom door and returned to the living room. Seeing me sitting on the couch, she hesitated for a moment then came to sit beside me.

  “You’re good at that,” I said.

  “What?”

  “Taking care of people. You’re going to make a great nurse.”

  She tucked her hands under her thighs. “Anyone could have done what I just did. It doesn’t take a nurse.”

  “No, it takes compassion. That’s something they can’t teach in nursing school.”

  “Maybe,” she allowed. “But I don’t think anyone would go into nursing if they don’t like helping people. It’s a solid career, but it’s not something you get rich from.”

  I leaned back, spreading my arms across the back of the couch. “Being rich isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

  “You don’t say,” she said dryly.

  I cringed. “Sorry.”

  I’d sounded like a privileged asshole, but my mom had hit rock bottom, and we’d been homeless. When I’d lived with Aunt Rose, money hadn’t been plentiful, but I’d never had to worry about having food or clean clothes. One would never have known I came from humble means to look at me now.

  While I’d been making millions, Leah had been working two jobs to provide for herself and her sister.

  It didn’t have to be that way, said a nagging voice inside my head. If I’d stayed in Cedar Creek, I wouldn’t have been making the money I made. But we could have moved in together and shared expenses. Considering the limited job prospects in town, though, things still would have been tight. I sure as hell wouldn’t have been living as comfortably as I did, able to buy a brand-new car on a whim. I would have had Leah, though, which was its own reward. She was under the impression that it wouldn’t have been enough. There was no way either of us could prove one case or the other.

  She blew out a breath. “No, it’s okay. I shouldn’t judge. It’s all relative, I guess.”

  “Yeah, but it’s still not the same. It was a thoughtless comment.”

  “Stop. If we’re going to be friends, you have to be able to talk about your life without feeling guilty.”

  “Do you feel guilty?” I shot back, “about the life choices you made for us?” She seemed taken aback, and I was instantly sorry I’d asked. But damn it, this was all on her. As much as I wanted to put the past where it belonged, bitterness over not having had a say in our future plagued me.

  “I feel guilty for hurting you. It was the worst and hardest thing I’ve ever done. I hope you’ll eventually forgive me.” When I didn’t respond, she stood. “I should go.”

  “Why? You haven’t been here long.”

  “What are we doing here, Gabe?”

  “We could watch a movie or something.” I purposefully played dumb.

  “No, I mean, why am I here? What are we doing?”

  I leaned forward on my knees and clasped my hands in front of me. “I want to forgive you.” It was the most I could offer. I figured I would get there, but I didn’t know when. Our destruction had been caused by lies, so I wasn’t going there.

  “I want that too. I don’t want you carrying that weight around. It will eat at you.” She paused. “If you ever think about it. About me.”

  Leah didn’t care about being forgiven for her own sake. As always, she was putting my needs above her own. But I didn’t want her to do that. I never did. My eyes locked on to hers. “Always. I never stopped.”

  Her breath caught, and her visibly shaking hand went to her throat. “You shouldn’t tell me those things.”

  “Why? It’s the truth.” She was the piece that was missing from my life, and thoughts of her always lurked in my subconscious. I'd lied to myself if I ever thought I’d moved on. From the heated way she was returning my gaze, I would have bet my life that the same was true for her. I wanted to pull her against me and wrap myself around her. It had been five years too many since I’d done that. So what the hell was stopping me?

  One glance at her told me what—her deer-in-the-headlights expression. My forthrightness shouldn’t have surprised her, but for some reason, it did. Or maybe she was having trouble accepting that after everything, I still had feelings for her.

  I knew what I wanted—her. It was always her. I trailed my finger down her cheek. Her breath caught, her eyes closed, and her lips parted. She leaned into me, and I wondered if she realized she was doing it. I wrapped my arm around her waist, and she clung to my shoulders.

  I touched my lips to hers, tentatively at first as I remembered the sweet feel of them. A soft moan worked its way up her throat, and the sound reverberated deep in my gut. Her lips parted a fraction, and that was all the invitation I needed to deepen the kiss. My tongue stroked hers, and deep within me, a primal chant started. Mine, mine, mine.

  I needed her to echo it back to me. I’d been pissed when she’d taken my choice away, so I wasn’t going to do the same to her. But everything about this felt right—surely, she felt it too.

  Still, I pulled back, continuing to hold her against me.

  Her eyes opened, and her breaths came deep, and I could feel the rise and fall of her breasts against my chest.

  Sweet Jesus. I cupped her cheek. “I want you.”

  She trembled as anguish filled her features. “I want you, too, but this won’t work.”

  I shook my head. “We work. We always did, and we always will.”

  She scooted back, and I released my hold on her. “Too much has happened. Too much has changed. You have your life, and I have mine.”

  “You’re wrong.” My words came out harsh and bitter, so I softened my tone. “You’re wrong.”

  “Gabe—”

  I put my hands up to ward off her protest. “We belong together. I know it, and deep down, you know it too. When you’re ready to admit it, I’ll be here.”

  Leah

  I awoke the next morning with my fingertips on my lips, reliving the tender kiss with Gabe. It had taken everything I had and then some to leave him the night before. Our chemistry had always been undeniable, even explosive. It would have been so easy to give in, but I’d done the smart thing by pulling away.

  He was under the misconception that we should be together. What a joke. Despite how either of us might have felt, it wouldn’t work. Besides, we barely knew one another anymore.
I was still in love with Gabe Gagliano, but that wasn’t who he was—he was Gabe Gable, multi-platinum recording artist. I couldn’t even begin to understand the reality of his life. And he was simply feeling nostalgic. He was back home after years of being away. It was natural that some of his long-ago feelings would resurface. Sooner or later, he’d realize that what he was feeling belonged in the past.

  Groaning, I rolled over and checked the time on my phone and cursed. It wasn’t even seven yet. It figured. I didn’t have to work at the diner that night, and the Zimmermans didn’t care when I cleaned their house as long as I was finished before five, so I could have slept in for once.

  It hadn’t been a restful night. I should have taken a cold shower when I’d gotten home, though I wasn’t sure if that would have worked or if it was just a saying. All I knew was that I awoke in the middle of the night after dreaming of Gabe, on the cusp of an orgasm.

  I’d gone on a few dates over the years, but Cedar Creek wasn’t exactly a hotbed of eligible bachelors. Tyler was the best around, but well, he was Tyler. Dating him was out of the question. A few years ago, Tamara had set me up on a blind date with her cousin who lived in Richmond. He was funny, polite, smart, and if that wasn’t enough, he was a dead ringer for Taye Diggs. I’d gone on two dates with him before canceling the third. I couldn’t stop myself from comparing him to Gabe, which wasn’t fair. I’d decided then that until I stopped doing that, I wouldn’t go on any more dates. I hadn’t been on one since.

  It was kind of a sad existence, but I didn’t have time to dwell on it.

  I slipped on the sleep mask Lacey had gotten me a few Christmases ago and rolled over again, trying to will myself back to sleep. I was just starting to doze off when my phone rang. Sighing, I swung my legs over the bed and sat up.

  Rubbing my eyes, I answered the phone. “Hello?”

  “Leah, hey.” Lacey sounded out of breath.

  I pulled the phone away from my face to check the time. Still not quite seven. “Is everything okay? Why are you up so early?”

  “The stupid TA for my geology class scheduled the extra help session before his eight a.m. class. He’s such a prick. I swear he did this just so that people wouldn’t come.”

  “So naturally, you set an early alarm.”

  “Of course,” Lacey said with a huff. “Other than a few runners, who are psychos in their own right, I’m the only one out and about on campus. Everyone with a lick of sense is still in bed.”

  “Along with those who aren’t attending a study session out of spite,” I reminded her.

  “Yeah, I’m kind of rethinking my decision,” she grumbled. “I have a B, so I don’t need to go. Anyway, I was talking to Jackie, whose mom told her that Gabe was back in town.” Jackie was Lacey’s best friend from high school. If I remembered correctly, her mom worked at the hospital with Tyler’s mom.

  I tucked the phone on my shoulder and pulled my knees up to my chest. “That’s true.”

  “Are you okay with that?”

  “I don’t really have a choice.”

  “Maybe you should come visit me. I could probably scrounge up an extra ticket to the football game this weekend.”

  I felt bad, because Lacey had already asked me to pick a weekend to visit, but I hadn’t been able to take the time off. Besides that, I didn’t want to crowd her. She needed to spread her wings, so to speak. “I’ve been taking extra shifts at the diner,” I said. “But maybe in the spring, we can pick a date.”

  “I knew you’d say that.”

  “Then why did you ask?”

  “I want to see you, of course, but I wanted you to know you have an out if you want to get out of town. Jackie didn’t know how long Gabe would be there.”

  “He didn’t say,” I admitted.

  Lacey inhaled sharply. “What? Are you fraternizing with the enemy?”

  I laughed. “He’s not the enemy. It’s not even his fault we broke up.”

  “That doesn’t matter. He broke your heart, and I’m Team Leah.”

  I wasn’t aware teams had been formed, but I appreciated the sentiment. “It was five years ago. I can certainly be civil.” Or run away at the first sight of him. Nope, I wasn’t confessing that embarrassing tidbit to my sister. “I think we might even be able to be friends.” Once he got over the nonsensical thought that we belonged together.

  “Then you’re better than I am. If Travis so much as looks at me, I might just kick him in the balls.” Lacey had dated Travis Reisling for the better part of her senior year. While they were still together, he’d tried to hook up with Jackie, who of course turned him down and immediately told Lacey.

  “And I’d hold your purse while you kicked said balls.” Perhaps encouraging my sister to commit assault didn’t make me the best guardian, but whatever. Travis deserved it. Team Lacey.

  “Aww… that’s so sweet.”

  “What are big sisters for?”

  I heard the sound of a door opening on the other end of the line. “I’m finally at the science building. Let me know if you change your mind. Hotel rooms are impossible to find on game weekends, but you can stay in my room with me.”

  “Thanks for checking up on me, but I’m fine. Besides, I’m working Saturday night, and I have a double shift on Sunday.”

  “All work and no play, that’s Leah,” Lacey quipped. “Gotta go. Love ya. Bye!”

  She hung up before I could say goodbye. I stared at the phone, filled with annoyance. Not because she’d ended the call abruptly but because of her “all work, no play” comment. Yes, I worked a lot, way more than forty hours a week. But how the hell did she think I paid for things, like the apartment we’d lived in for four years together? It wasn’t much, but it was a roof over our heads.

  Exhaling, I closed my eyes and lightly rubbed circles on them with my fingertips. Lacey hadn’t meant anything by the comment, and I normally didn’t get bent out of shape over things like that. But I was tired after too many nights of burning the candle at both ends. I hadn’t asked for this grueling life, and I was doing the best I could with it. I knew Lacey appreciated everything I did for her, and it wasn’t as if I expected her to express her undying gratitude every time we spoke.

  I padded into the bathroom to wash up. Since there was no chance of getting any more sleep, I figured I might as well get my day started.

  An hour later, I was scrubbing dog pee out of the Zimmermans’ carpet while the perpetrator yipped at me from his kennel. They hadn’t told me they were getting a puppy. Scout looked to be some kind of Lab or boxer mix, and from the size of his paws at only ten weeks old, he was going to be huge.

  A chime interrupted the podcast I was listening to, signaling an incoming call. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and hit accept. “Hey, Tyler. What’s up?”

  “I thought you said you weren’t interested in getting a dog.”

  I eyed Scout, who was still yipping and had started clawing at his kennel. “I’m at the Zimmermans’.”

  “Ah, that explains it.”

  Scout let out an extraordinarily high-pitched yelp.

  “Jesus. Are you torturing the poor thing?”

  “No, he’s the one torturing me with that bark, all while I’m scrubbing his pee out of the carpet, I might add. I thought puppies weren’t supposed to bark much.”

  “Some breeds don’t. What kind is it?”

  “Big,” I said. “Hang on. Let me take him out back. Mr. Zimmerman asked me to do that.” I tucked my phone into my back pocket and opened the metal door. The puppy came tumbling out and starting sniffing at the spot I’d been scrubbing. “No, you don’t,” I muttered. I picked him up. His paws flailed, catching the cord of my earbuds and pulling one out of my ear. On the way to the back door, I scooped up a few toys.

  Once I’d set him on the ground and reinserted my earbud, I got back to Tyler. “Sorry about that. This guy is like a little bear cub.” I tossed a squeaky toy, and he ran for it. Before he reached it, though, he tripped on his own feet
and tumbled butt over face. He got up and shook himself off. I couldn’t help but laugh.

  I didn’t have a whole lot of experience with dogs. My dad had brought home a pit bull when I’d been younger, maybe around eleven. Though the breed has a bad reputation, it didn’t take me long to figure out that it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Mean people made dogs mean. My dad had been doing a good job of it, too, and the poor animal suffered for it. So one day when my dad had been out of town and my mom was at work, I got up at four a.m. and walked the dog the three miles to the local animal shelter. I tied the leash to the front door with a note that said it was an owner surrender.

  When my dad came home and discovered the dog missing, he was only pissed for a second. When he’d gotten the thing, he hadn’t accounted for the fact that, well, dogs needed to eat, and food cost money. My dad was really a class-A jackass. I never found out what happened to the dog. I liked to think it was adopted by a loving family and lived its best life.

  “Are you working tonight?” Tyler asked.

  “Nope,” I said. “You know I don’t work Friday nights.” I made up for that by working the rest of the weekend. I preferred it that way, though. The diner was generally busier on the weekends, and if I was going to work, I wanted to maximize my tips.

  “That’s what I thought, but your schedule has changed before. Good. We’re having a bonfire.”

  “We?” I asked cautiously. “Who’s ‘we’?”

  “You know who ‘we’ is. The band is back together!” Tyler whooped. “So whatever you do, don’t mess up the cease-fire between you and Gabe for at least the next twenty-four to thirty-six hours.”

  “What makes you think I would be the one to mess it up?” I shot back. “And twenty-four to thirty-six hours? What the hell are you planning?”

  “The tents are coming out of retirement.”

  “Oh no.”

  “Oh, yes,” Tyler said gleefully. “Pack a bag. It’s going to be epic.”