The Highlander Who Protected Me (Clan Kendrick #1)

by Vanessa Kelly

  “Your actions would suggest otherwise.”

  “And I apologize for giving you that impression. But I’m here now, and I’m happy to spend as much time with you as you like.”

  “I should hope so, although many fashionable marriages do involve husband and wife barely seeing each other.” She shrugged, as if it didn’t matter. “If that’s what you want, just tell me.”

  He stopped her and put a finger under her chin, tipping it up. In her fashionable straw hat, tied with pretty violet ribbons that matched her eyes, she looked enchanting. But wariness still lurked in her gaze, along with an intense and wrenching vulnerability she tried to hide.

  “I do not want a fashionable marriage, Ainsley,” he said. “I want a happy one with you and our daughter.”

  She searched his features for a few moments before letting out a relieved breath. “Very well, then. Where do you wish to start?”

  With what happens in the bedroom. That is, if we even share a bedroom.

  “I thought we’d start with our living arrangements,” he said. “What are your thoughts on that?”

  “I assumed I’d move into Kendrick House. You seem comfortably situated there, and the nursery is already set up and well managed.”

  “Wouldn’t you find it too crowded?”

  “I find it very large and comfortable. Besides, once the wedding is over, most of your family will return to Castle Kinglas. Victoria said they all prefer it.”

  “Victoria, Nick, and Kade will go, but I can safely say that Angus will not be leaving as long as Tira is here. Grant will be moving in, since he’s going to start working for Logan. And Graeme will at some point as well. Where one twin goes, the other invariably follows.”

  “Oh, that’s . . . that’s rather disturbing.”

  He couldn’t resist teasing her. “Let’s not forget that Braden will be visiting periodically. Adding in Logan, we could end up with at least four of my brothers, plus Angus, who are living with us at any one time.”

  Now Ainsley began to look desperate “Royal, it’s not that I hate your family—”

  “Just some of them?”

  “I’m trying to be a good Christian,” she said tartly, “but I would like to point out that there is a great deal of weaponry on the walls of your house. If I have to live with Angus and the twins, we will soon be re-creating the Battle of Culloden. And I assure you the English will triumph again.”

  He grinned as he started her walking. “Then it’s an excellent thing that I’ve spent part of this week looking at town houses suitable for us.”

  She huffed a bit. “Then why didn’t you just say so?”

  “Because I enjoy teasing you.”

  “You are an unrepentant wretch.”

  “Maybe, but I also thought I should ask your opinion before making any final decisions.”

  “Your alarming depiction of my future has convinced me that we should move out of Kendrick House as soon as possible.” She glanced sideways at him. “I hope you’re not offended by that. It’s a lovely house, and I’m sure you enjoy living there.”

  He pulled her closer. “Ainsley, please believe that I want nothing more than for you and Tira to be happy. I will do everything within my power to make that happen.”

  Her lush mouth slowly curved into a dazzling smile. “I don’t care what anyone says about you, Royal Kendrick. You are quite a nice man.”

  “Your flattery is overwhelming, my lady.”

  She squeezed his arm. “I don’t want you getting a swelled head. One in the family is quite enough.”

  “Nonsense. You’re not in the least conceited. Merely confident.” Or at least she had been, until Cringlewood got his hands on her.

  “That’s not what your grandfather thinks. He called me a Sassenach saucebox just the other day.”

  “Did he? Then I’d better have a little chat with him.” Royal understood why Angus didn’t trust her, but enough was enough.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. I can certainly handle the old goat—er, fellow. And that insult at least had a rather nice ring to it.”

  “You shouldn’t have to handle anyone. My family needs to respect you, or else they’ll answer to me.”

  “That’s not how respect works, Royal. I have to earn theirs. If, that is, I think it’s worth the bother,” she said with a dramatic wave. “As long as Victoria and Kade like me, that’s all I really care about.”

  “You know, you actually are a bit of a saucebox.”

  “Undoubtedly. Now, back to this mysterious town house. Will we be able to afford something suitable?”

  “We’ll manage.”

  “Royal, you know I won’t be able to depend on help from my family,” she said, turning serious. “And I have very little money of my own, so it’s likely I will be a penniless bride.”

  He didn’t care about the money but could sense her embarrassment. And for her sake, he hated how unfair it was.

  “It won’t be a problem even without your marriage settlements,” he said. “But I take it that you have yet to hear from either of your parents.”

  “I wrote to them shortly after our first discussion, but they have yet to reply. Perhaps it’s just not been long enough,” she said, sounding a bit anxious.

  “I’m sorry to hear that, but in any case, you’re not to be concerned about our finances. Logan is increasing my responsibilities and giving me a bigger salary. We should have no trouble finding a suitable place.” He paused, feeling a bit awkward. “It won’t be Kendrick House or what you’re used to, but it won’t embarrass you either.”

  Ainsley had grown up in the lap of luxury, her every material wish fulfilled. He couldn’t help but worry she might miss the fripperies and the legions of servants at her beck and call.

  She waved a dismissive hand. “It’s fine if our accommodations are fairly modest, as long as it’s comfortable and Tira is happy.”

  Royal tried not to look skeptical. Her irritated glance indicated failure on his part.

  “If living in luxury mattered,” she said, “I would have married Lord Cringlewood, no matter what he’d done to me. Or I could have convinced my parents to accept one of my other suitors. I am still considered a desirable prospect on the marriage mart, even though I cut my eyeteeth long ago.”

  “I don’t doubt that for a moment.” He gently bumped her shoulder with his. “Despite your advanced years.”

  She ignored his teasing. “I could spend my life in the lap of luxury, but none of that would mean anything if I couldn’t be with my daughter. Tira is what matters to me.”

  Royal’s heart sank. Of course, it was always about Tira. He’d hoped for more from Ainsley, but it seemed friendship and shared parenthood would have to suffice.

  “I understand perfectly,” he said.

  She made an exasperated sound. “Clearly you don’t, because the other person I want to be with is you. That would be glaringly obvious by now if you weren’t such a stubborn thickhead.”

  Irritation got the better of him. “Well, it’s not obvious. I’m going to be your husband, and yet I don’t have a bloody clue what you actually want from me. Besides providing cover for you to be with your daughter.”

  “Thickhead,” she said again.

  She dragged him to a nearby bench. Pushing him down onto the seat, she remained standing, crossing her arms under her breasts.

  “I believe I’m in for a scold.” Royal didn’t really mind at that point. She had the most amazing breasts, especially when she plumped them up like that.

  “You deserve one. You clearly think I’m heartless enough to lure you into marriage just to be with my daughter. But I assure you, Royal Kendrick, that there are far easier ways to be with Tira. Kidnapping her, for one. Then I wouldn’t have to put up with the Scottish weather or your utterly appalling family.”

  He took her hand and smiled. “No, not heartless. Devious, maybe.”

  “Don’t think you’re going to jolly me out of this. You’re the one who’s been
avoiding me , not the other way around.”

  He laced their fingers, feeling like ten times an idiot. “I know.”

  Her expression softened. “Can you please try to tell me why?”

  “Again, I’m not sure what you expect from me.”

  “As my husband?”

  “Yes.”

  She eyed him. “Well, I expect you to have affection for me. You do still care for me, don’t you?”

  He turned and kissed the inside of her wrist, just above the edge of her glove. Her skin was as soft as a kitten’s. “My feelings have not changed one iota in that regard, love.”

  Her breath seemed to fracture. “I . . . I was beginning to wonder, so it’s nice to have it confirmed. But I expect you’re also wondering about what’s going to happen in . . .”

  “In the bedroom,” he finished for her.

  Ainsley sank down beside him, still holding his hand. “I wish I knew the answer. It’s not that I don’t want us to have a normal marriage, with . . . everything that entails. It’s just that I don’t know if I can. Or at least not right away.” She flushed, turning her head away.

  But she still held on to his hand

  “Ainsley, I will never ask you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable,” he said gently. “I just hope that someday you’ll trust me enough—and trust yourself—to see what we can make of this affection we have for each other. We’ll take it slowly, I promise.”

  She looked sideways at him. “You’re sure?”

  “I am. I just want you to be happy. I want us to be happy.”

  “I do think it would be nice for Tira to have a little brother or sister someday,” she said, turning to face him. “Once I figure out this motherhood business.”

  He had to struggle with his emotions and the enticing image of making babies with her.

  “You’re a wonderful mother.” He leaned in to kiss the tip of her nose. “I have no doubt you’ll make a perfectly splendid wife, and I’m honored and grateful that you chose me, lass.”

  “Royal, you are the only man I ever wish to be intimate with. I might not be able to give you everything right away. But I want to, I really do. Please believe that.”

  His heart churned with regret and with all that might have been. Ainsley had been hurt in the most fundamental way, and he could never fully make up for that. All he could do was love and protect her, holding fast to patience for as long as necessary. That would be the truest demonstration of his love and loyalty.

  “I do believe it,” he said, “and I am more than content. As long as you need is how long we’ll wait.”

  For a moment, her gaze was stark with a vulnerability that twisted his heart into knots. Then she unexpectedly scrunched her face up with comical dismay. “Confound it. I wish you weren’t so noble and understanding. It makes me feel hideously guilty. And I hate feeling guilty.”

  He laughed. “Then I will do my best to be a selfish blighter at least once a day. More, if necessary.”

  “I think you’d better. But I am truly sorry, my dearest sir. I’ve made life dreadfully complicated for you. Admit it.”

  “All complications are most welcome, I assure you.”

  “You’re as unhinged as I am,” she said, getting up. She briskly whacked imaginary dirt from her skirts. “So, we’re to abandon the family home and set up housekeeping on our own. I suspect that will go over with a resounding thud, especially from Angus.”

  “I’m hoping it’ll encourage the old fellow to go back to Kinglas, where he belongs.”

  “Live in hope, I always say.”

  “Really? Because I don’t believe I’ve ever heard you say that. Quite the opposite, in fact.”

  “I’ve decided that one pessimist in the family is quite enough,” she said with a grandiose wave. “From now on, I will be the sunniest and most optimistic person you know. I cede my crown as resident grump to you.”

  “Care to place a bet on how long that will last? I give it ten minutes.”

  She swatted him on the shoulder. “You really are the most irritating man I have ever met.”

  He stood. “Ten seconds. Now, what do I win?”

  “The honor of taking me back for lunch. I’m starving.”

  “Of course you are.” He ducked when she tried to hit him again.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ainsley felt giddy with relief. For the first time in months, she had a real chance at happiness again, thanks to the extraordinary man who strolled by her side. Behind that sarcastic and sometimes arrogant façade lay a sensitive, thoughtful man who gave her everything she needed, including time and patience. Yet he asked for nothing in return but the chance to love her and be a father to her daughter.

  That Royal indeed loved her and wanted her in his bed was no longer in doubt. Ainsley wanted that too, someday, and she would do everything she could to make that someday happen sooner rather than later. Whatever stood between them, she wanted it gone. She wanted to want Royal as much as he wanted her.

  “What are you smiling at, lass?” he asked, tucking her close as they crossed the quiet street. There wasn’t a carriage or even a cart in sight, yet he guarded her as carefully as if she were the queen.

  “It certainly wasn’t your description of the service rooms in that town house you viewed this morning,” she said. “As scintillating as that was.”

  He gave her a crooked grin. “I realize you’re not very interested in cold rooms and pantries. We’ll find a butler to manage that end of things. I don’t want you bogged down with boring details if you’d rather not.”

  “Royal, you do understand I was raised to manage large households, including country manors. I’m quite up to the task of running a small town house.”

  “It won’t be that small.”

  She squeezed his arm. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

  He remained worried she would find it difficult to adjust to a life outside the highest echelons of the ton . Though Ainsley was in fact heartily sick of that life, she suspected it might take a little time to convince him of that.

  “If it wasn’t the anticipation of installing a bang-up-to-the-mark range in your new kitchen, what were you smiling at?” he asked.

  “It’s going to sound rather silly.”

  “Love, you’re marrying into a family with several exceedingly silly members, not to mention the dogs. You have a long way to go to challenge us.”

  She laughed. “So true.”

  “Then confess. If that smile has anything to do with me, I want to make sure I know how to prompt it as often as possible.”

  When they stopped at the foot of the stone steps that led up to Kendrick House, Ainsley took Royal’s hands.

  “For the first time in a very long time, I’m truly happy.” Her nose started to tickle a bit, which tended to happen when she became emotional. “And it’s because of you, Royal. I can never be grateful enough for everything you’ve done for me and Tira.”

  He gently extracted his right hand and cupped her cheek. He’d stripped off his gloves back in the park, so she could feel the warmth of his palm, tough with calluses. That hand spoke of strength and hard work, and a man who would do whatever was necessary to provide for his family.

  “Ainsley, your happiness is thanks enough.” His gaze swept over her face, warming with an appreciation that made her knees go wobbly. “For you and Tira to be happy and safe means everything to me.”

  If she didn’t take a firm grip on her silly self, she’d burst into tears right on the stoop. But the emotions swirling through her—joy, gratitude, and so much more—seemed too big to contain.

  “Och, lass,” he murmured, his malachite gaze sparking with heat, “if you’re not careful, I’ll be forced to kiss you right here.”

  Ainsley was stunned when she giggled. As a rule, she abhorred giggling. And yet here she was, acting like a girl fresh from the schoolroom, engaging in her first innocent flirtation.

  It was a marvel.

  She pl
aced a hand on his chest. “Mr. Kendrick, are you suggesting that we commit acts of public indecency? Someone might send for the constable to have us arrested.”

  He covered her hand and pulled her even closer. “It would be worth it, especially if they put us in the same cell.”

  When he leaned down to kiss her, her eyelids started to flutter shut. But she popped them up in surprise when the door opened behind them.

  “Dammit.” Royal reluctantly pulled away.

  She smothered a chuckle. “Perhaps we can go for another walk around the square after you get home from the warehouse this evening. It should be quite dark and deserted by then.”

  “Don’t tempt me, lass. I don’t think you’re ready for what I want yet.”

  She couldn’t help responding in a challenging tone. “Maybe I’ll surprise you, Mr. Kendrick.”

  He flashed her a rogue’s grin before glancing up to the open door. His amusement quickly faded when he saw the youngest footman. “What is it, Will?”

  William’s boyish features were tight with concern. “Ye’re both needed inside, sir, my lady.”

  Ainsley’s heart thudded against her ribs. “Is Tira all right?”

  “Aye, my lady, she’s fine. It’s just that ye have a visitor.”

  “Who is it?” Royal asked as they hurried up the steps.

  When William simply gave a grim shake of his head, Ainsley’s heart went to her knees. Then, as she saw Victoria standing in the hall, looking disturbed, her heart went straight through the heels of her half-boots.

  “This is bad,” Ainsley whispered.

  Royal helped her off with her pelisse. “Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it together.”

  She looked into his calm gaze and her churning insides steadied a bit. “Promise?”

  He took her hands and helped strip off her gloves. “I promise, love. You’re not alone anymore.”

  Victoria came to them. “I’m sorry to surprise you this way, Ainsley, but your mother is here.”

  “At Kendrick House?” She winced at the shrill note to her voice. “Is my father with her?”

  “No.” Victoria grimaced. “Kade and I practically smashed into her when we got home. Her carriage was in front of the house, and her footman was just handing her out.”