Elise

by Angela Rush

  Wait? What? Did she love him? It was too early for that, but she loved what he had done and was continuing to do. He put her first. Put what was in her best interest first while still taking into consideration what she wanted and felt. He was the right man for her. She knew it in her heart. Now to convince him and everyone else that they were meant to be. Was there such a thing as fate? Destiny? She didn’t know for sure, but it was looking more and more like it every day.

  It was getting time for her to get up and get her day started. She had an early appointment today. For the first time she was actually looking forward to seeing Dr. Billings, her psychiatrist. She had a lot to talk about this time. She honestly wanted the woman’s opinion about Warren and how she should handle her parents, her attraction, and coping with her ordeal in light of all this. Today was going to be a good day. She could feel it.

  Chapter 16

  A few hours later after her shower, breakfast, and yet another argument with her parents about not going with her to her therapy sessions, Elise is in the waiting room of Dr. Billings office. The receptionist is typing away on her computer, but spares Elise a glance from time to time. The woman probably remembers her first visit when her mother came with her sobbing like she was the victim. While Elise knew her mother meant well, she could be a little too much to handle sometimes.

  Dr. Billings specialized in crimes against women. She is used to caring for survivors of rape, domestic violence, and even victims of the sex trade industry. Living in Annapolis, Maryland there was unfortunately plenty of work for Dr. Billings. Elise had been lucky to get an appointment with the highly sought-after professional. She knew her father’s connections in and around Annapolis, Congress, and the military had made it possible for her to get seen so quickly after arriving back home. For once in her life, Elise was thankful for his connections and use of power.

  Dr. Billings treated her like a person. She didn’t coddle her, treat her like a piece of glass, but at the same time she was kind and thoughtful. Most importantly she listened to what Elise said, not what she wanted to hear. She allowed Elise to express herself without criticism or trying to ‘correct’ her feelings. She even allowed her to just sit quietly with her memories and feelings until she was ready for more. Elise was ready to dive into the conversation they had started yesterday.

  Elise had mentioned her parents’ feelings about Warren and their concerns about the age different, the possibility of her just being grateful to him for rescuing her, and her father’s threat against his career. Dr. Billings had asked some tough questions that Elise wasn’t ready to answer, yesterday, but now she was ready. She had really thought about the questions and the answers she knew to be true. Finally, Dr. Billings comes into the lobby to walk her back for her appointment.

  “Hi, Elise. How are you doing today?” Dr. Billings asks in her soft, kind voice. Dr. Billings is an older woman in her late 50’s. Her long brown hair is kept in a neat bun at the back of her head. She about 5’5” and has a thin, petite frame. Her slim face has some fine lines around her eyes and mouth, but they did little to detract from her beauty. She is always nicely dressed in slacks and a blouse with comfortable looking dress shoes. Today she is wearing Navy-blue slacks with a cream-colored long-sleeved blouse with buttons down the front. She has diamond stud earrings with a simple tear-drop necklace. Elise hopes she can age as well as this woman.

  “I’m doing better today, actually.” Elise says as they enter the doctor’s office and they settle into their usual spots for the session. Dr. Billings office is more like a den. Her desk is in the back corner of the room while the main focus is on a fluffy, brown couch and two large cream wing backed chairs. Elise usually takes the end of the couch furthest from the door while Dr. Billings sits in the nearby wing backed chair.

  “That’s good to hear, Elise. So, tell me. What’s changed since yesterday?” Dr. Billings inquires. Elise shifts in her seat gathering her thoughts. She wants to explain this the right way. She is really hoping that Dr. Billings will agree with her that she should see Warren sooner rather than later. Licking her lips and taking a deep breath, Elise begins to relate the last 24 hours.

  “So, when I left here yesterday my mother had decided it was time for an intervention. She and my father ambushed me at lunch.” Elise rolls her eyes before continuing. “They want me to tell them everything that happened over there. They think that since I haven’t told them, then I am not dealing with what happened. I tried to tell them that you and I are talking about all this and you are helping me cope with what happened. I just can’t get them to understand. What happened is not something I want to share with them. It’s too personal and not only that, I know they would freak out.

  “When I didn’t disclose any more information than they already had, they started in on my relationship with Warren. Like I even have one thanks to my father’s threats.” Elise blows out a frustrated breath. “Warren hadn’t answered one message that I have sent since I left South Carolina over 2 weeks ago. They think I am obsessed with him because he was my rescuer. They can’t understand that we might actually be attracted to each other despite my kidnapping and torture.”

  “So, what did you say to their complaints?” Dr. Billings asks. “How did you handle your frustration this time?”

  “I felt I handled it much better than when we first got home.” Elise gives Dr. Billings a coy smile. “I was calm and rational for once. I explained to them that while I could understand where they were coming from, I did not share their opinion and that I would appreciate it if they would be more open minded to my opinion.”

  “Good. How did they respond?” Dr. Billings shifts in her seat and relaxes back to hear this tale.

  “About like usual. Mother insisting that I was acting like a silly schoolgirl with her first crush and he was entirely too old for me. Father was again threatening to call into question his integrity with the Marines.” Elise glowers as she remembers the conversation. “It was their same argument we have had over the last 2 weeks. I tried to remain calm. I explained to my father that Warren had not contacted me since we left South Carolina. He seemed relieved by that. I told mother that I was not a schoolgirl, but a grown woman who was more than capable of knowing her own feelings.”

  “I’m glad you were able to say calm and not react to their pressuring.” Dr. Billings smiles encouragingly. “Now how about we tackle some of the questions I gave you for thought yesterday. Do you think that what you felt for Warren was real? Or was it a result of him being there for you in such a dangerous situation?”

  Sighing heavily, Elise looks up at the doctor. “I know that there is probably some element of it coming from the situation, but it’s so much more than that. He is such a kind and thoughtful man. He’s concerned for me. If it was just a physical attraction for him, I think he would have taken advantage of me when we were at my brother’s place in Germany. It’s not like I wouldn’t have been willing.” Elise chuckles at little at that. “He was more concerned with me and what I needed. He has done that several times. Like I knew he wanted me to stay with him in South Carolina. We had talked about it while we were still at the base in Afghanistan. I had asked him what was going to happen when we got back. I told him I was afraid to be away from him. He made me feel safe. He said I could stay with him in his guest room. He even said, his commander and his wife have a large house and would love to have me stay with them. When it came time though, he chose to send me away. He wanted to give me the space I needed to decide if what I felt was real or not.”

  “How do you know that’s what he is doing?”

  “Because he answered my text this morning.” Elise smiles broadly. “He said he couldn’t wait anymore. He missed me as much as I miss him. He said he needed to answer me, so I would know he meant what he said about being welcome to come to him anytime. He wants me to stay here until you and I agree that I am ready for a deeper relationship with him. I realized in that moment that I need to show him, myself, and my parents t
hat this is real, not just some reaction to trauma. I’m willing to do whatever it takes. We are destined to be together, of that I have no doubts. I just have to be patient until everyone else believes it, too.” Elise looks to Dr. Billings to see her expression at Elise’s declaration.

  “I’m impressed. You have really thought about this. I agree that you need to give you and Warren time to make sure what you are feeling is real. I think it’s fine to communicate with him, but I wouldn’t rush into moving in with him just yet.” Dr. Billings smiles then. “People tend to move at a much faster pace for such things in this day and age, but there is merit to waiting, getting to know one another. Warren may already be certain of his feelings as he is older and has more experience with life and relationships, but he too may have been reacting to the situation. Give the relationship time to grow over the next month or so and see how it goes. You may find you have nothing in common or you may find you are a perfect match. He may be a person you can confide in about what you experienced over there. A sounding board about your nightmares and feelings about what happened. He saw where you were held and the aftermath of Lakia’s murder. It’s ok to share that with him. You need someone other than me to vent to.”

  “He actually said something similar.” Elise smiles. “He told me to call him anytime, even if it was the middle of the night when the nightmares came. I had one while we were at my brother’s place. He was able to wake me and calm me down. He voice is so soothing, calm. He knows just the right thing to say or even when not to say anything, just be there. That is something my parents haven’t figured out yet. They want to tell me how I should be thinking or feeling. It makes me so angry. Why can’t they just listen? They always have an opinion and feel the need to share it.”

  “I can see how upsetting that would be.” Dr. Billings smiled back. “The important thing for you to keep in mind is they want what’s best for you. They just need better ways of expressing it. Perhaps we need them to come to a few sessions later on, when you are ready, ok?” Elise nods in agreement. She is hoping it will be a while before she has to confront them, but if it gets her to Warren, she is willing to do anything.

  Elise continues to see Dr. Billings daily for the next week, then she sees her three times a week for a few weeks. Her nightmares begin to diminish, and she is able to recover much faster after them as time goes on and her coping skills improve. She has called Warren a couple of times when she had a particularly bad one, but even she could feel that she was coming to grips with what had happened. Her parents on the other hand, not so much. Dr. Billings had asked them to come with them to a few sessions, but it had done little to influence their behavior toward Elise. They continued to hover and tried to keep her at home or with them at all times. Dr. Billings had finally convinced them they needed to lighten up and give her some space. She explained they were holding her back in her recovery. She needed to feel a sense of independence and autonomy. So far, they were at least trying to follow the doctor’s advice.

  Elise’s relationship with Warren is blossoming. They have been in constant contact through texts, calls, and Facetime. They have learned a lot about each other, favorite music, foods, and hobbies. He had even told her some about his childhood and living in foster care. Elise’s heart hurt for him that he didn’t have the happy childhood she had been blessed with. He had told her about his last foster family and how good they had been to him. She was sad to learn they had both passed on years ago. She would have loved to have met them and thanked them for taking such good care of Warren.

  Elise had shared with Warren about her bouts with cancer. How scared she had been when diagnosed. She just knew she was going to die, despite the optimism of her doctors. That was when her parents became so overprotective and oppressive. Edward was already in service, so she became their sole focus. With her health scare, they became obsessed with her. They eased up a little when she went into remission the first time. However, when she again became sick their need to be in every aspect of her life became unbearable. Elise tried to be understanding, but as the years had worn on after her remission and they failed to lighten up, she became even more introverted.

  She admitted to Warren she hadn’t even dated before because of her parents need to be embedded into every aspect of her life. It was just easier to say no when someone asked her out. She had gotten to go to college, but they had refused to let her stay on campus. After completing her Master’s in Social Work, Elise had planned to work for some charity organization to help under privileged kids in and around the Annapolis area. Before she was to begin her job with the local charity, she had decided to volunteer to go to Afghanistan to the refugee camp. It was a decision that changed her life.

  Elise really loved talking to Warren. He listened to her, not judging her thoughts or actions. When she cried over her memories, he often just let her cry without trying to tell her not to think about it. He was there for her without any expectation for anything in return. It was so refreshing in comparison to her parent’s behavior. Edward has Skyped with her several times over the last couple of months. He had tried to curb their father’s desire to ruin Warren. To her parent’s surprise, Edward had actually defended Warren to them. He had been skeptical of him at first, but he was impressed that Warren was giving Elise space and time to get her head in the right place. He pointed out to their parents that should prove he was trying to do what was best for Elise. It had done nothing to influence her parents, however.

  As time passed, Elise became stronger mentally and emotionally. Dr. Billings was impressed with her recovery and Elise’s willingness to do what was necessary to get back somewhere close to where she had been before. Perhaps she was even in some ways better than before. After all she had endured, she was no longer willing to allow her parents to control her life. She was ready to move on with her life, whatever that might be. She really hoped it would be with Warren, but if he wasn’t ready for that yet she was ok with that, too.

  Chapter 17

  The last two months have been hell on Deadeye. While she has texted or Facetimed him every day, not being able to hold her has been torture. He has been having trouble sleeping and his appetite has been non-existent. God! He has it bad. That woman has gotten under his skin and buried in deep. He can’t live without her, now. He vows the next time she asks him to come get her he is heading to fucking Maryland as fast as he can go. His phone pings an incoming text. He immediately grabs it.

  I miss you. I’m sorry to be a pain, but I can’t sleep, eat, or even think. I need to see you, Warren. ~Elise

  God, sweetheart. I promised myself I was going to give you space, but this is killing me. I miss you, too. The guys are still giving me shit for not being focused during training. I’m not eating, sleeping, or thinking straight either. You are all I can think about. I need you, too. I’ll be up there as soon as I can get a flight. ~ Warren

  Don’t bother. I’m at the airport waiting to board my flight. I’ll be there in a few hours. Pick me up? ~ Elise

  I’ll be there, sweetheart. I can’t wait. ~ Warren

  What about your parents? ~ Warren

  They are just going to have to deal. I’m a grown woman. I gave it over two months. Dr. Billings says I am ready to make any decisions that I need to make. I can’t wait any longer to be with you. ~ Elise

  Be safe sweetheart. I’ll see you soon. ~ Warren

  Deadeye arrives at the airport 30 minutes early not wanting to miss a moment of being with Elise once she arrives. He had already called Hawk to let him know a shit storm will most likely be coming their way when her parents find out. Hawk has assured him everything would be alright, but Deadeye wasn’t so sure. He feared what her father’s connections could do to his career, but there was no way he would deny Elise coming to him. He needed her too much. He had to trust Hawk and his own service record to prove he was an honorable man and soldier. No matter what crazy lies Elise’s father tried to pin on him.

  He spotted her as soon as she came out of t
he gate. She saw him at the same time and began to run toward him. They met in the middle and he swept her off her feet and swung her in a circle as they embraced. Several people in the airport clapped at their tender reunion. Deadeye briefly wonder if it was because he was in uniform or because both Elise and him were crying like babies. He kissed her like a man gulps water after being too long in the desert.

  Her lips were soft and warm. She licked his lips with her tongue, and he opened for her giving her just what he knew she liked. Their tongues danced together swirling and swiping. He sucked on her tongue and then moved his tongue in and out of her mouth just like he wanted other parts of their bodies to be doing. She moaned deep in her throat and brought a growl out of him. She giggled against his mouth which only made him growl more. He finally broke the kiss and pulled back to look at her.

  “God, sweetheart. You are sight for sore eyes that’s for sure.” Deadeye kisses her again. “You are even more beautiful than the last time I saw you.” Elise is blushing profusely, but her eyes are bright. She looks really good. Happy, even.

  “You aren’t looking too bad yourself.” Elise says shyly. “Although you look tired. Have you really not been sleeping?”

  “It’s hard to sleep without you in my arms, sweetheart. I was worried about you.” Deadeye pulls her into him again. He could stand there and hold her forever, but they needed to get out the aisle, grab her luggage, and head home. Home, man did that sound good to him. He was more than ready for her to be in his home at long last.

  “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get your luggage and go home.” Deadeye says casually. Elise beams at him. She wants to be in his home. She hopes it will soon be her home.