The Roommate

by Rosie Danan

  A fresh wave of pain erupted at the sight of her. Her beauty reminded him that he’d blown the best chance at happiness he’d ever known. He wanted to throw himself at her. Undignified, clinging, grasping. After the last forty-eight hours, he wanted to inhale her.

  But he couldn’t.

  Not yet.

  She graced him with a smile. “Hello.”

  The bright red ON AIR sign cast a rosy glow on her cheeks.

  “Are you Clara Wheaton? The investor?” Dana Novak was certainly quick on the uptake.

  “I am.” Clara pushed her hair off her face.

  Josh didn’t know in that moment if he wanted to laugh or cry. Clara’s soda-can metaphor finally made sense. The emotion inside him had nowhere to go, so it all lodged behind his rib cage.

  “Excellent. Shall we pull up a chair?” Dana signaled to a young woman watching them behind a large window. “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got a surprise guest for you today.”

  “What are you doing here?” Josh stared at her. He couldn’t make sense of her presence. Half of him believed that if he blinked too long she’d disappear. She obviously didn’t want people to know about her involvement with Shameless, so why had she shown up during a live interview? Whatever her reasons, he preferred any room with her to one without her.

  Dana’s assistant ushered Clara closer to the microphone and manhandled Josh back into his own chair.

  “I came to tell you something,” Clara said, her mouth inches from the mic.

  “You want to tell me something now? While hundreds of people are listening?”

  “Thousands,” Dana corrected.

  “Yes.” Clara gulped. “I know I said what happened between us was just sex.”

  Josh’s eyes shot around the room at their spectators. He had zero clue what was happening or whether it was good. Still, the word sex on Clara’s lips was enough to make him half-hard.

  Naomi sat up straighter in her chair. There goes that secret.

  Dana steepled her hands. He could tell from her face that she thought this interview had gotten a whole lot more interesting.

  Clara continued. “But our relationship is so much more than that. I came to tell you, and apparently a bunch of strangers listening, that I’m in love with you.”

  Josh’s heartbeat slammed in his ears. He bit his tongue, tasting pennies.

  “I’m sorry I was too scared to accept it before. I always thought love was supposed to make you itchy. A crawling-out-of-your-skin kind of obsession. I thought love was synonymous with pining and longing. That it had to hurt.”

  Josh could read between the lines. She meant, I thought love looked like Everett. Man, he fucking hated that guy.

  Clara took a deep breath and tilted his chin until he looked directly at her, instead of at his own balled fists. “But love isn’t like that. At least not for me. Loving you is like sinking into a warm bath after a lifetime of feeling cold down to my bones.”

  Josh’s chest rose and fell as he tried to gather enough oxygen to process this revelation.

  Clara reached for his hand. “It’s having someone see me, past the artifice and the posturing, and decide I’m more than enough.”

  He closed his eyes and ran the tip of his nose against the back of her hand, savoring her words and the petal-softness of her skin.

  Clara’s voice gathered strength. “My love for you isn’t an addiction. Being with you doesn’t provide some warped sense of validation for my life. You were never a fling I had to get out of my system. Our love feels like . . . freedom. The kind people give their lives for.”

  Josh’s vision went hazy. He couldn’t process this turn of events.

  Clara must have misinterpreted his silence because she brought her mouth closer to the mic. “Although I want to be very clear that the sex is unbelievable. Better than it looks on screen. Seriously. You have no idea.”

  Naomi cleared her throat.

  “Right. Sorry. Josh, the reason Shameless exists is because you encouraged me to stop apologizing for what I want and what I deserve. Checklists, guidelines, terrible driving, and all. You’re everything I never knew I needed, but I can’t imagine my life without you, and frankly, I don’t want to.”

  He sat, stupefied at his good fortune. In a thousand lifetimes, he’d never get enough of Clara. Of her optimism and her nerve. Of her desperate kisses and faith that people were worth fighting for.

  Naomi narrowed her eyes at him. “Better get a move on. If you don’t kiss her soon, I will.”

  Josh shook out of his stupor and stood, pulling Clara out of her chair.

  He wanted her at that moment more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. He held her face in both of his hands. “Great speech.”

  “Thanks.” She dipped her thumb into his dimple. “Went a little astray with the sex bit at the end.”

  “You found your way back.” He brought his mouth to hers and Clara wrapped her arms around his neck. His world righted on its axis as their lips met in a tender press. He wasn’t sure he deserved her, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let anyone take her away.

  Josh had never imagined he’d get to have this kind of softness with Clara.

  Dana clapped her hands. “So does this mean we’ll be seeing the two of you in future tutorials for Shameless?”

  Clara froze in his arms, her eyes uncertain. “I suppose we could do like a kissing tutorial? Fully clothed kissing. Ooh, set to R&B slow jams.”

  “We’re gonna need a lot more rehearsal time before she’s ready for an audience. In fact, we should go practice. Right now.” His eyes never left Clara’s. “Naomi can take it from here.” Josh’s cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. “Please excuse us.”

  He practically dragged Clara out of the studio and into the hallway. “I’m so sorry for the way I acted,” he said as soon as the door closed behind them. “I was a complete asshole. I want you to know I—”

  Clara eyed the elevator before grabbing the front of his shirt and dragging him into an out-of-the-way stairwell. As the door slammed behind him, she ran her fingers through his hair and molded her curves against his hollows. “Tell me later,” she whispered in his ear.

  Josh needed no further urging. He grabbed her ass and lifted her off the ground so she could wind her legs around his waist before pushing her against the wall and sucking hot kisses into her neck below her ear.

  Clara moaned with abandon.

  “Are we really doing this? Here?” If this day was a dream, he never wanted to wake up.

  She rolled her hips against him. “Think you can handle it?”

  Josh laughed against her lips. “Sweetheart, I’ve still got plenty of moves you’ve never seen.”

  He balanced her ass on the stairwell running against the wall. “This is a nice dress,” he said as he shoved the fabric above her waist. With impatient fingers, he shifted her underwear to the side. “God, Clara. You’ve got the perfect pussy,” he said when he found her soaked and ready for him.

  Clara clenched her thighs around his hips, whimpering as she bit into his shoulder. “I love you. I love you so much.”

  Josh swore like she’d said something filthy and bucked his hips against her. “If I come in my pants from the sound of your voice and some dry-humping, I’m going to lose all my street cred.”

  Clara laughed low in her throat as she closed her eyes and tipped back her head. “Then what are you waiting for?”

  Josh didn’t miss a beat. He dug into his pocket for a condom. Thank goodness old habits die hard. He ripped open the foil packet with his teeth and slid it on. “This is really unbelievable. Like I know it’s happening because you’re here and you look amazing but—”

  “Josh?” Clara’s ragged breaths came out in pants.

  “Yes?”

  She reached forward and grabbed his ass, lining up t
heir hips until he sank into her.

  As her tight heat surrounded him, he lowered his head to her shoulder with a tortured groan. “Right.”

  With his hands behind each of her knees, he tilted the angle of her pelvis so that the head of his cock rubbed her G-spot. He might not be able to make her come twice in a stairwell, but he could sure as hell try.

  Josh found himself embarrassingly close as he listened to her whimper and mewl. Her hands dug into his shoulder blades as he inched her thigh higher against his hip and felt her tremble around him. Clara bit down where his neck met his shoulder as she found her pleasure.

  “You’re incredible.” He could spend hours watching her bite her lip and squirm as she came.

  Clara moved her hands to his nape, pulling his mouth to hers. “How the hell is being with you better than an entire summer’s worth of fantasizing?”

  Each word conjured a new, magnificent image in his brain until he panted at the edge of infinity. Both starving and sated. His definition of happiness expanded to encompass this perfect, wild moment.

  Josh sank his fingertips into the silky skin of her thighs and gritted his teeth to keep from screaming as his own orgasm rocked him. He brought his sweaty forehead to rest against hers. “I can’t believe you’re real.” He slid out of her and helped her down from the railing.

  She hastily handed him a handful of tissues from her purse. “Sex in public is as good as I thought, but the aftermath is decidedly less glamorous.”

  Josh laughed as he cleaned himself off and tucked everything back into his jeans.

  Clara’s purse started ringing.

  “It’s Jill,” she said, looking at the caller ID flashing on the screen.

  “You might need to answer that.”

  “Hello?” Clara said, bending to bring the device to her ear. Her cheeks had gone red as bricks.

  “You’ve gotta get down here,” Josh heard Jill say in the loud, terse tone of someone trying not to panic. “I’m at my office and Toni Granger just showed up asking to speak with you.”

  Clara stared at Josh and licked her bottom lip. “Now?” Her eyes shot wide. “Okay. Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  After a quick stop at the restroom to freshen up, they made their way to the parking lot.

  “Come on. I’ll drive,” Josh said, taking her hand in his.

  Clara stopped short. “Actually, I’ve got a car here.”

  He swept his eyes across the parking lot. “What? Where did you get a car?”

  “Well, it’s kind of a funny story . . .”

  chapter thirty-seven

  JOSH TOOK THE news of her spontaneous road trip with remarkable aplomb, all things considered.

  “Do I love that you ran back to that dude the first chance you got? No.” Josh broke into a grin. “But at the same time, I love the visual of you demanding that chump’s keys to make a beeline back to me.”

  Butterflies beat their wings inside Clara’s stomach. She’d gone from one emotional roller coaster to the next, and now Toni wanted to see her?

  Josh squeezed her hand as they stood outside Jill’s office. “What’s going on in that beautiful brain?”

  “I’m a little nervous.” A lot nervous. “I had all that adrenaline pumping in my veins back at the studio, lots of endorphins, but now I have to face the consequences of my actions.”

  “Do you regret it?” His voice came out unnaturally neutral.

  “Absolutely not. If other people don’t like it, they can take a hike.”

  Josh shook his head. “We gotta get you a millennial phrase book or something. Phrases like that are why telemarketers are always trying to sell you osteoporosis medication.”

  He hesitated when they reached Jill’s door. “Maybe I should wait out here.”

  Clara pressed her lips to his cheek. “Please come with me. Whatever happens. I’d like to introduce you to my aunt.”

  He squared his jaw. “Lead the way.”

  “Good morning,” Clara said, taking Josh’s hand as they walked into the conference room where Jill and the DA waited. “I apologize for keeping you waiting.”

  “That’s not a problem.” Toni Granger rose to her impressive height. “I understand you probably weren’t expecting to hear from me.”

  The DA turned to Josh. “Nice to see you again, Josh.”

  Clara took an involuntary step backward.

  Josh stared at the ceiling with his hands crossed behind his back. Goose bumps erupted across Clara’s skin.

  “You can imagine my surprise,” Toni said, “when I stepped out on my front porch this morning to collect the paper and found this vaguely familiar young man on my doorstep.”

  Toni put a hand on Josh’s shoulder. “When I asked him what exactly he thought he was doing, he told me that he had some valuable information to share with me. Information relevant to my campaign. He handed me a thumb drive and graciously said he would wait outside in case I had any questions.”

  Clara shot Josh a look that said, What the hell? He had some serious explaining to do.

  “Now I will admit my first instinct was to kick his ass for trespassing on private property, but something in his eyes made me decide to listen to him.”

  Josh threw up his hands. “I want to clarify that the situation was urgent. I didn’t want to waste valuable time waiting for your office to open. You should make it harder to find your address on the Internet if you don’t want to receive visits from concerned constituents.”

  “I’m glad you found me,” the DA said before holding out a small drive to Clara. “Josh has collected a huge amount of incriminating information on the Black Hat corporation and H. D. Pruitt.”

  Josh stepped directly into Clara’s slightly blurry vision. “I’ve been gathering a bunch of emails and text messages documenting Black Hat’s shady behavior for a few weeks now. The cast and crew found out what I was up to—I’m not exactly known for my stealth, as you know—and they volunteered stories of their own. Toni says we’ve got evidence of almost thirty violations of labor and employment laws. Stu even uncovered production footage we can use in court.”

  “What?” Clara’s mind raced in a thousand directions. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I wasn’t sure if I could go through with it, and I knew if I told you I would have to. I needed a reason that was bigger than my fear. As soon as you left, I knew I had one.”

  The DA smiled through closed lips. “He also volunteered to serve my office as a witness on behalf of the adult entertainment industry. He said he thought if he aligned himself with my efforts, it would help the community see that I wasn’t—what were the exact words you used?”

  Josh blushed. “Just another asshole politician using sex workers as a soapbox.”

  “He seemed concerned I might not act on the evidence he offered, so he politely reminded me that in my campaign platform I promised that when I fight for equality, I don’t forget the marginalized or stigmatized. I can only imagine he got that information from you. He also handed me a copy of a position paper I wrote five years ago.” The DA’s normally steely gaze softened. “Do you want to tell her the rest?”

  Josh took both of Clara’s hands in his. “I asked Toni to consider allowing you back on the campaign team. I told her you knew how to turn things around. You did it for me, and if she gave you another chance, you would do the same for her.”

  Clara fanned herself. “May I sit down?”

  Josh helped her to a chair.

  “Are you sure about this?” She couldn’t believe the risk the DA was willing to take.

  Toni turned to her aunt. “You’re in charge of my PR. Do you think bringing a case against Black Hat would be enough to own the election news cycle?”

  “Let’s see. It’s got sex. Money. Power.” Jill ticked off the words on her fingers and smiled. “Ye
ah. That should work.”

  “Well, Clara, what do you say? You up for it?” Toni smirked.

  Clara turned to her aunt. Jill was one of the strongest and best women she knew. She’d taken a chance on Clara, no questions asked, even after everything the Wheatons had put her through. Jill had held on to her convictions for an admirably long time. Had fought for them not with weapons but with stalwart silence, accepting her family’s shunning with more grace than they deserved. She’d paid for her choices, for her freedom, and the soft lines around her eyes marked the duration of her sentence.

  Jill had taught her a lot this summer, but Clara didn’t want to turn into her. The Wheatons had weathered countless scandals. It was time they learned how to forgive themselves. “I’ll come back. But you have to come home with me to Greenwich for Christmas.”

  Her aunt’s eyebrows shot up.

  “We can face the music together. Two black sheep returned to the flock.” Clara held her breath as she waited for an answer. She was determined that her family wouldn’t shut the door on her, but it would be easier if she had Jill at her side. The Wheatons should be proud of both of them. Neither had done something a little PR couldn’t fix.

  “I’m in.” Jill wrapped Clara in a hug. “Proud of you,” she whispered in her ear.

  “We might not be able to keep your name out of the opposition’s mouth entirely,” Toni said as they pulled apart. “We’re going to need to get started immediately, and none of it will be easy. Even with the right evidence, Pruitt will hire the best defense attorney money can buy. He’ll outspend us in every way, including public relations.”

  “Then let’s get to work.” Jill winked as she ushered Toni out of the conference room.

  As soon as they were alone, Clara turned to Josh. “I can’t believe you did this.” A lawsuit was more than taunting Pruitt. Much more than Shameless’s tiny, quiet rebellion. Going to trial, drawing the spotlight, it all jeopardized his role within the adult entertainment community. Based on what he’d told her before, many people in the industry would see him as an opportunist at best and a traitor at worst.