I shook my head.
Carly patted the device. I shielded the keypad from the others and put my card number in. Carly looked at her computer screen and smiled. “There we go. The charge went through.”
“I’m amazed you have your card number memorized,” Priscilla joked.
I stayed quiet. Being the dumb blonde, they thought I was hurt, and yet it was easier than arguing.
Having to pay for this school, even for one term’s tuition, also hurt, though in a different way. I tried to reason with myself that it could be worth it in the end. I had to keep thinking beyond my current circumstances. Eventually, I would get back to society. I would get home. And when I did, I’d go back to my normal life. I’d write my paper as I planned all along, and I’d make waves in the psychology community for my commitment to my craft.
It was a light at the end of the tunnel.
The other girls were chattering around me, ignoring me in favor of Carly and a nearby secretary. I let them ignore me, taking the rare opportunity to try and cheer myself up with logic, thin as it was. I knew school. I could do school. I could learn.
This place would not beat me down.
I felt myself starting to get a little excited, thinking about things that way.
Then Carly turned back to me. “What classes do you want to take, Kelly?”
Chapter 13
Control your urges
“You seriously think she has any idea?” Blanche laughed out loud. “The three of us know how oppressed she really is. I don’t think she’s ever had sex before.”
“I have too!” I exclaimed. I didn’t know what took hold of me and made me say it. I just wanted them to know I wasn’t entirely clueless.
“I’m surprised,” Priscilla commented.
Carly chuckled. “She did say something about a romp in the woods when she first arrived. I thought it must have been very good. I do wonder now if it was actually pretty bad if she’s really as clueless as she seems.”
Well, that didn’t work.
“What do you girls think?” Carly asked, gesturing to my roommates. “Since you’ve spent time with her, you may have some idea what classes she should take.”
“Uh, duh.” Blanche snatched the class list from the desk in front of me and grabbed a pen. I watched, hopeless, as she signed me up for:
Makeup and Attire (How to Look Like a Slut)
Masturbation 101
Blowjobs/Oral Sex
Anal and Bondage
Priscilla and Caroline had a turn with the list, circling a few more options that would see me learning about roleplaying and the history of female sexuality. That last one was almost interesting, more like what I’d have picked for myself. It was Caroline’s suggestion.
Sadness weighed in my chest. Had we been in a different situation, she and I might be friends.
Carly slid another paper my way. “This is the last I’ll need you to sign.”
“It looks like a waiver,” I said.
“It is.” She smiled and ruffled my hair with her hand. “What it says, by signing, you know what you are getting yourself into and agree with all of it. It’s only a formality, but until you sign, you can still back out. But no one ever does, not at this point. The ones who come this far are the committed ones.”
“Are you committed, Kelly?” Priscilla clasped her hands into fists. “You have to give a commitment, one-hundred percent of your effort, or else there’s no point!”
Carly was right that only the people who came this far were the committed ones. I signed my name on the line, counting myself in amongst their number.
“Okay, I’ve had enough of sitting idly by while you guys talk.” The secretary who had been sitting nearby, talking to the other girls, spoke up. “I’m super curious. Tell us more about yourself, Kelly.”
“I’m sorry. You are?”
“Oh, you didn’t catch my name earlier.” The secretary smiled. “I’m Shelby.”
I paid closer attention to her so I wouldn’t forget who she was. She appeared to be in her late twenties. Her hair was blonde, with red flashes that were darker than mine, more cherry than strawberry, and pulled up into a messy bun. She was the most conservatively dressed person in the room other than myself, with a black pencil skirt and a white blouse. Many of the buttons on that blouse had been given time off, allowing her black bra to be seen. Round glasses perched on her nose.
Her vibe was sexy librarian and I was sure she had done it on purpose.
Others in the office had their eyes on me the whole time and now weren’t even pretending to be working. Carly and my roommates also appeared curious about me, as I was the novelty here in this school.
I couldn’t avoid answering, not with so many people to pester me. I put down the pen I’d used to sign my name.
“Priscilla guessed correctly,” I said, nodding to the other girl. She smirked and winked at Blanche, who scowled, probably because she now owed Priscilla money. “I grew up in a very religious home. No mention of sex was allowed. At all. I wasn’t allowed to experience anything even remotely fun. When I got the chance, I took it. I left home. I came here because I wanted to know what it was like to experience sex without judgment. I didn’t know about all the requirements or anything. I’m sorry if I caused any trouble.”
Everyone here thought I was a dumb, repressed girl who came here to explore my slutty side. That was exactly who I would let them believe I was.
Carly murmured sympathetically, “That explains it. I bet you’ve never had to do anything like this for yourself before.”
I nodded so I wouldn’t have to speak. I’d lied enough. I didn’t want them to detect any falsehood in what I said.
The others in the room shook their heads and spoke softly to each other. They all seemed pretty nice about my imagined scenario, expressing sympathy. One of them even told the others closest to her that they had to do their best to help me get through this. There was a sense of camaraderie in the air that I wished, suddenly, I could be part of.
I’m just relieved I got away with my lie.
Thinking about it, they didn’t have a reason not to believe me. The basis of my lie had a lot of truth to it. Mom was a single parent. She hated men and all they stood for because my father had run off with a younger woman so he could drink and party all day without commitment. That had been shortly after I was born. I didn’t even know what he looked like. He had never visited, never sent a single birthday card, or called on the holidays.
Mom had turned to religion and in turn, she tried to instill a belief and fear of god in me. The whole god thing hadn’t exactly stuck, but I believed in a lot of the teachings and morals. Mom had never talked about sex, or puberty, or anything like that. Whenever she needed to communicate with me about development, she would drop off a book in my room and I’d read it.
Mom was also very career-driven. A feminist, like me. I didn’t know if she’d always been like that or if it happened because of Dad.
Either way, the truth was that I had been sheltered in a lot of ways because of how I grew up.
It bothered me that I thought the lifestyle on Anwak was wrong, but the inhabitants thought I was wrong. Everyone here certainly seemed much happier than I was.
What was the ultimate truth? Who was right and who was wrong?
Someone paused in the entrance to the office, blocking out the light. I stirred from my thoughts and looked over, as did everyone else.
He was a janitor. His nametag proclaimed him to be named Jamie. He held a broom but was definitely not sweeping, not anymore. He looked over everyone in the room, his gaze landing on each person and raking over them before skimming on.
I huddled down and tried to hide behind Blanche, to no avail. Jamie saw me. Everywhere his gaze touched, I felt the heat of it. He licked his lips.
I flushed and looked away, feeling bothered and a little disturbed. He’d looked at everyone, so why had he seemed to linger on me the longest? It had to be the outfit unless he
could smell my innocence in the same way a shark smelled blood in the water.
Though I thought of him as a predator, no one else seemed to. The look on Carly’s face was downright pleasant. “Feeling horny, Jamie?”
Jamie grinned. He was African American, around my age, with a shaved head and defined muscles that his janitor’s outfit couldn’t hide.
Carly turned to Shelby. “Dear, help the poor guy out, why don’t you?”
“Love to,” Shelby said. She licked her lips like she had been offered a box of premium-quality chocolate.
In a way, she had been. Jamie’s silky brown skin begged to be sucked and licked.
What the hell kind of thought was that, I scolded myself, alarmed.
Shelby stood and tossed off her glasses. They landed on the desk in front of me. The lenses weren’t prescription, simple glass sheets set into the cheap frame. She removed the pins from her hair and shook her head, silky waves of fire cascading down her back. From librarian to model in two seconds flat. Even I was stunned at the transformation. She was hot.
Shelby strode over to Jamie, unbuttoning the last few buttons on her top along the way. She shrugged out of it and it fell to the floor behind her, forgotten. Her skirt was abandoned in a similar manner. She stepped out of it and continued on her way; when she finally reached Jamie, she was dressed in only her bra and thong panties, a garter belt with stockings, and high heels.
Jamie didn’t resist as she gave him a similar treatment, unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it open. His chest was solid, his abdomen rippling with definition, exactly what had been promised by hints of his body shape under the shirt.
“Damn! A snack and a half!” Shelby proclaimed. I had to agree. The guy was gorgeous. Had I seen him in a different setting, I’d have been paying him some attention, though nowhere near so obviously and without any expectation of receiving attention in return.
But this wasn’t a different setting. It seemed if I looked at him, it was okay. I hesitated.
Shelby wriggled in front of Jamie, grinding her body on his, making it difficult not to look. “I’ve been wanting to fuck you for so long.”
“I’ve only worked here two days,” Jamie said.
Shelby shrugged and winked. “Time is meaningless. All I know is that’s way too long to have a hard-on for someone around here.”
Jamie laughed, flashing straight, white teeth.
Shelby grabbed his shoulders and thrust a kiss onto his lips. I watched, like an onlooker observing a train wreck, as she shoved her tongue into his mouth. Jamie palmed her behind—her ass, if I used the native crude way of speaking, and I probably should if I wanted to fit in—and his tongue made its appearance, flicking in and out of her mouth while their lips ground together. His hips thrust on hers, his breathing growing heavy. He moaned; the sound muffled by her mouth.
Shelby pulled back. I knew by now what to expect and watched as she dropped to her knees and unzipped his baggy janitor’s pants. She reached in and pulled out his hefty, veined length and guided it straight into her mouth.
A thick tension seeped into the air. My roommates were all squirming at the spectacle, breathing heavily. I couldn’t escape the feelings myself, a strange pressure inside me making my breathing pick up.
The scent of arousal was heady, aromatic, and not at all unpleasant, like an exotic perfume.
Jamie paused in his thrusting on Shelby’s face and reached down to grab her. He pulled her off him and lifted her, effortlessly, and carried her over to a couch in what must have been the office waiting area.
“Spread your legs,” he ordered. “I have a craving for pussy juice and yours smells delicious.”
Shelby eagerly complied. Jamie dropped to his knees in front of her. He buried his face between her legs and inhaled deeply. “Fuck yes,” he groaned. “Open your pussy lips for me. I like to see everything, all the beauty a woman has to offer.”
I leaned forward, intrigued. There was an eroticism in the words that I hadn’t expected.
Shelby spread her legs even farther apart. Her panties were wet, sticking to the shape of her folds.
Jamie glanced briefly away from his willing captive to the rest of his audience, myself included. Again, his gaze seemed to linger on me before he returned to the task at hand.
What is this that I’m feeling?
I’d had my virginity taken almost two years ago by a man my age, named Duke. I’d been, not exactly drunk, but intoxicated on the vibe of the party we’d been attending. The music was so loud, the lights strobing in such fantastical colors and patterns that nothing seemed real. I’d been lost in the potential of things. Vulnerable, because this was the first party of its kind I’d ever attended, and I had been tricked into going, connived into staying. Not knowing what to expect or what to do, I had, foolishly, attached myself to the first person who showed interest in me.
That had been Duke.
I had let him take me out to his truck in the parking lot. He hadn’t even put a blanket down, and he hadn’t paid any attention to what I might want. The most he did for me was put on a condom.
That sure as hell hadn’t increased my opinion of sex or men.
Duke would never have said such things to me. He would never be worshipping a woman’s body like Jamie was doing to Shelby.
That could be me in her spot if I would just give in.
I figured it out in a flash. Jealousy. What I felt, was jealousy.
Shelby slipped the crotch of her panties to the side. Her fingers framed her sex, an obvious invitation as she did as had been asked of her.
Jamie stroked the perimeter of her swollen, pink lips with his finger. He sucked the gathered moisture and made loud, appreciative lip-smacking sounds. “You taste amazing, baby.”
His large hands pushed her thighs out and up. The way his hands stood out against Shelby’s pale skin reminded me of melted chocolate poured over cream. Then, Jamie buried his face between Shelby’s legs and ate her like this was his last meal.
Even I could tell he was a master, using his tongue, lips, and even his teeth, making Shelby quiver in no time. She was delirious, yelling out incoherent words, losing control right in front of us all.
Shelby’s hips jerked. She threw her head back and screamed, “I’m cumming!”
Jamie grabbed her and lifted her, impaling her on his hardness.
Shelby’s eyes rolled back in her head, her thighs wrapping around his hips.
Jamie used his teeth to drag her bra out of his way. He took her breast in his mouth and started to suck on her in strong pulls that matched his thrusts in timing.
“You’re so deep!” Shelby cried, voice quivering with euphoric madness. I wanted to shut my ears and yet I couldn’t move. She clawed at his back, leaving deep, red scratches on the smooth brown flesh.
“I’m going to cum!” Jamie shouted, pounding harder into her. The sound of their bodies colliding filled the office. Each time Jamie arched out and then back in, Shelby’s wetness was visible on his length.
Shelby shrieked out and jerked around uncontrollably, climaxing again. Jamie sank into her with one last hard thrust. His body convulsed. He tossed his head to the side.
I gasped as his eyes landed on mine. He objectified me in that one final way, making it clear that he wanted me even before he was fully done with his current partner.
My temper soared, startling me. How dare he do this to me? Making me watch him do that to someone. Making me feel things, then turning around and proving it was all for nothing. He’d put on a good show of paying attention to Shelby, but then he was already wanting to move on.
Just like any other man.
I was angry, my heart pounding. I stood up so fast that I almost knocked over my chair.
“Kelly?” Caroline grabbed my hand, eyes round with concern.
“Is there a bathroom?” I asked.
“Right over there.” Carly pointed me in the direction.
I strode toward it. I had to walk past Shelby
and Jamie to get there. Shelby was beyond opening her eyes but I felt Jamie watching me the whole way.
I went into a stall inside the bathroom. I pushed my pants down and found what I’d feared.
I was wet.
I closed my eyes and leaned back. I wasn’t angry. Not really. I was just … unsatisfied.
Shame flooded through me that I couldn’t control my urges. This was my body and yet I was bound to its demands, not the other way around.
I slid my hands between my legs and rubbed myself.
It took less than a minute.
I stayed in the stall for a long time after, breathing hard, feeling miserable.
Chapter 14
Do it harder
I stepped into the room where my first ever class at Zion’s school would take place. I was alone, without my escort. This was an introductory class, Masturbation 101, which Blanche, Caroline, and Priscilla didn’t need. I recognized a few of the other students in the room, but my full attention wasn’t on them.
The room itself demanded to be observed.
Diagrams covered the walls, posters of various parts of the human body, maps of nerves and veins. I could have been in any biology or human anatomy class if not for the very specific nature of the diagrams. Extra detail was put into the genitals, the nerves, and veins that connected to them. Said private areas had been rendered with extreme accuracy, enough to make me blush even though the people depicted were anything but real.
There were also pictures of sex toys, from plain oblong dildos to contraptions with very realistic attachments.
At the far end of the classroom, Mr. Midge sat at his desk. Where other teachers might have pictures of family or knick-knacks on the top of the desk, he had anatomical models that showed in 3D miniature what was displayed on the posters.
I took a seat in the back of the class and hunkered down.
When we were all seated, Mr. Midge rose and closed the door to the classroom. He turned to face us, his students, with a sly smile. The subtle bulge of a tent formed at the front of his pants.
Kelly Exposed Page 10