Gift of Fire

by Jayne Ann Krentz

  “You want to run that question by me again?” he asked in a hoarse voice.

  Something squeezed Verity’s stomach tightly. “You heard me the first time. How do you feel about becoming a father?”

  “I take it,” Jonas said carefully as he kicked off his shoes and pants and climbed slowly to his feet, “that this is not a hypothetical question?”

  Verity wrapped her arms around herself and shook her head. “I’m afraid not. I’m pregnant, Jonas.”

  “How long have you known?” He tossed aside the pants and came toward her. His jaw was set and his eyes were unreadable.

  Verity looked down at the floor. “I assume you’re not thrilled. I didn’t think you would be.”

  “I asked you how long you’ve known.” He reached her and took her chin in his hand. He lifted her face so that she had to meet his blazing eyes.

  “Not long. I had a suspicion before you left with Dad.”

  “And you kept it to yourself.”

  “I wasn’t about to use the possibility of my being pregnant as a way to keep you from going off with Dad.” Her eyes were alive with pride.

  “Did it ever occur to you that I had a right to know?”

  “I wasn’t even sure about it myself until this morning,” she said defensively.

  “What happened this morning that convinced you?”

  “I more or less had it confirmed,” Verity explained, remembering the strange conversation she’d had with Oliver Crump. “Please don’t yell at me, Jonas. I told you as soon as I was certain.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate that,” he retorted grimly. He cradled her pale face between his hands. “Verity, you little idiot—you shouldn’t have kept it to yourself this long. You should have told me the instant you suspected you might be pregnant. No wonder you’ve been more temperamental and emotional than usual. I should have guessed.”

  For some reason Verity grew furious at his words. “I have not been acting more temperamental or emotional than usual. I never act temperamental or emotional, so how could I be more so than usual? I always act in a perfectly reasonable, rational manner. I’ll have you know I happen to possess plenty of common sense, unlike some people I could mention, and I resent the implication that I’m temperamental and emotional and strange!”

  “Hush, honey.” He laughed indulgently and pulled her tightly against him. “Take it easy.” His arms went around her and his palms moved soothingly up and down her spine. “Just take it easy, sweetheart. Everything’s going to be okay.”

  “You haven’t said how you feel about being a father.” Verity buried her face against his chest.

  “Well, I haven’t had too much time to think about it,” he admitted lightly. “But I don’t see that it’s any big deal. I’m a fast learner. I can always ask Emerson for advice. Look at what a great job he did raising you.”

  “Oh, Jonas, this is serious!” Verity was torn between laughter and tears. In fact, all her emotions seemed suddenly to be too close to the surface. She clung to Jonas, her arms wrapped around his lean waist. Are you sure you don’t mind?”

  “Did you think I would?” he whispered into her tousled curls. “Is that why you couldn’t bring yourself to tell me earlier?”

  “I wasn’t sure how you would feel about it. I mean, it’s a big responsibility.”

  “And you’ve always been a little worried about my attitude toward responsibility, haven’t you?” he concluded with a hint of exasperation. “Jesus. No wonder you were so upset about my going off with your father to rescue Lehigh. You probably saw that as an example of how life was going to be from now on. Except that in the future you’d be left behind with a kid whenever I took off.”

  “I didn’t know what to think.”

  He gave her a small shake. “I told you that was a one-shot deal, not a lifetime pattern. I’m different from your father. We have some overlapping interests and experience, but we’re not the same. Come on, Verity. Don’t you have any more faith in me than that?”

  “I didn’t know what to think. I hadn’t planned to get pregnant. Hadn’t even thought about it. We were taking precautions most of the time and I just sort of assumed…”

  “We were not taking precautions all of the time. In fact, we rarely remembered them when we came out of our trips into the time corridor,” he reminded her bluntly. “And we did a lot of practice sessions with the psychic stuff this past winter.”

  She sighed. “I know. I think I somehow convinced myself that sex after one of those trips was different in some way. It always seems so urgent, so demanding. I think of it as being connected to the psychic stuff.”

  “And you convinced yourself you couldn’t get pregnant as long as the sex was taking place on a higher plane? A psychic plane? Is that it?” There was laughter in his voice.

  “Don’t you dare make fun of me!”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it, honey. But there is something a tad amusing about you pretending the sex we have after a mind trip is different from the kind we have the rest of the time. Talk about rationalization. This from a woman who prides herself on having more common sense than other people, specifically the male of the species?”

  “I’m warning you, Jonas.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said, chuckling. “I hear the warning. I seem to be inundated with threats and warnings from you lately. After a while it gets hard to take them all seriously.”

  “You don’t sound terribly upset.” Verity lifted her head, puzzled at the cheerfulness in his tone. “I thought it would be a terrible shock for you.”

  “Well, the news did knock me on my ass at first, as you saw, but fortunately I recover fast.”

  Verity started to relax, truly relax, for the first time in days. A great sense of relief began to unfurl inside her. She hadn’t realized how tense she had been. “You really don’t mind being a father?”

  “If I minded,” he told her softly, “I wouldn’t have forgotten to take precautions after we made a trip into the psychic corridor, or any other time we made love. I may have my faults, sweetheart, but I’m good at details. Especially those kinds of details.”

  Verity smiled tremulously and swallowed tears that seemed to have welled up out of nowhere. “My whole life is undergoing a massive change. It’s scary, Jonas. I never thought much about having children. I think that somewhere along the line I just came to the conclusion that I wasn’t the type or something.”

  “I think this must be the first and only time I’ve ever seen you unsure of yourself,” Jonas remarked.

  “You’ve recovered from the shock a lot faster than I have. I still feel strange. I’ve been feeling that way for days.”

  “Just leave everything to me, boss. I’ll take care of business for you. All you have to do is sit back and get fat.”

  “That’s not funny, Jonas.”

  “I’ve been telling you for months you need to put on a little weight.”

  “This is a rather drastic way to do it,” Verity muttered.

  Jonas chuckled softly as he picked her up and carried her to the bed. “One of these days you’re going to have to learn a few facts of life.”

  “Such as?”

  “Such as the fact that there are some things even an independent, assertive, bossy little tyrant like you has no control over. I can’t wait to watch you get nice and round with my baby.”

  ***

  Jonas lay quietly studying the ceiling an hour later. Verity was dozing in his arm, her soft, inviting body relaxed and warmed from his lovemaking. Intermingled with the faint, womanly fragrance that teased his nostrils was his more pungent aroma. The primitive part of him always took satisfaction in the combination of scents that hovered in the air after he had made love to Verity. It was a subtle but absolute confirmation of his recent possession of her.

  He took enormous pleasure in the knowledge of wha
t he could do to Verity. He could make her turn to fire in his arms—sweet, hot fire. He was thoroughly addicted to the way she made him feel, hooked on the satisfaction he got from satisfying her. He didn’t even want to think about facing the hard, lonely world without her by his side. Verity had brought him the only peace of mind he had known in more years than he wanted to count.

  And now she was pregnant with his baby.

  The knowledge gave him an odd, almost euphoric rush. Soon there would be three of them—a family. He was going to have all the responsibilities and obligations of fatherhood.

  It was a role he knew little about. His own father had walked out on his mother before he was born. But Jonas figured he knew what he had missed as a kid. A father’s love, a firm hand when he’d needed it, someone to talk with about life. Someone to help him prepare for the world.

  Thus, Jonas knew what being a father was going to entail. It meant giving his kid the things he had never gotten from his own father. No sweat, he could handle it.

  But first he had to give Verity what she needed.

  He had been blind, deaf, and dumb not to realize how insecure and unstable their relationship had appeared to her. He had been so content with the situation that he hadn’t bothered to consider how Verity felt.

  The fact that she had delayed so long in telling him about the baby was proof enough that he had been inexcusably remiss in making her feel secure. Emerson Ames loved his daughter dearly. He’d taught her to look after herself and had given her a fine, albeit unusual, education. He had given her a lot, but the one thing Emerson had not been able to provide Verity was a stable home life.

  Jonas chastised himself thoroughly for not having realized weeks ago that after the rootless upbringing she’d had, Verity would need a strong sense of security before she would feel comfortable about having a baby. No wonder she had been distant and withdrawn. She was nervous, even scared, probably.

  Jonas had invaded and taken over the neat, orderly, home-bound little world Verity had created for herself. Then, before she had fully adjusted to having him in her life, he had given her a baby.

  The lady who had planned to be alone and independent all her life had suddenly had her whole world turned upside down, in the span of a few short months. Jonas mentally ticked off the things Verity now needed from him.

  She needed reassurance.

  She needed security.

  She needed to know she could count on him.

  She needed a last name for the baby.

  She needed a husband.

  Jonas rolled onto his side and gently shook Verity awake. Her lashes fluttered and then rose lazily, revealing the beautiful depths of her aquamarine eyes.

  “What is it?” she asked, yawning. She stretched languidly, her breasts gently undulating. “Something wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. I’ve just decided we’re going to get married,” he announced. “As soon as we get back to Sequence Springs.”

  Verity, caught in midyawn, stared at him for a good thirty seconds. Then her mouth closed with a snap. “Married. Why?”

  Her dumbfounded expression wasn’t quite what he had expected. Jonas narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

  She nodded. “Why?”

  “For all the obvious reasons,” he exploded. “We’re living together, and you’re pregnant. How many more reasons do you need to get married?”

  Verity sat up and reached for her robe. “It just now occurred to you that maybe we ought to get married?” she asked politely as she secured the robe.

  “I was lying here thinking about the baby and the future, and how you grew up without a permanent home. I realized you’d probably be a lot more happy about the baby if you had a sense of security. So I’m going to marry you.” Jonas realized he was sounding a bit pompous, perhaps even a touch patriarchal. He couldn’t help it. He had expected her to leap at the idea of marriage. The fact that she wasn’t absolutely thrilled left him floundering.

  “Well, that’s very nice of you to offer to marry me, Jonas, but I really don’t think it’s necessary, thank you very much.”

  Jonas’s mind went blank for a moment. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. When his brain kicked into gear again a few seconds later, it was all he could do to keep from yelling so loud that every guest on the floor would hear.

  “What the hell do you mean, you-don’t-think-it’s-necessary-thank-you-very-much?” he ground out between clenched teeth. “We have to get married.”

  She drew her knees up under the sheet and wrapped her arms around them tightly. Her hair was in wild disarray, and the expression on her face was more set and stubborn than Jonas had ever seen it.

  “I don’t see that anything has changed much, Jonas. If we didn’t have to get married last week, we don’t have to get married this week.”

  “You’re pregnant!”

  “So?”

  His mind raced, searching for the correct approach. “You want this kid to be born a bastard?”

  “There are no bastards in the state of California. By law every child is legitimate. Your name can go on the birth certificate.”

  “Thank you very much. Jesus.” He quickly abandoned that tactic and tried another. “I thought you’d want marriage. I thought you’d be happier married, more secure. I thought you’d appreciate the sense of stability. Verity, this is ridiculous. You know you’d be happier married now that you’re going to have a baby.”

  “I don’t want to be married simply because I’m pregnant.”

  Jonas’s mouth fell open as he dimly began to perceive the source of the trouble. “Oh, Christ,” he said. “Don’t tell me...”

  “If you had really wanted to marry me you could have asked me anytime during the past few months. You never said a word.”

  “Now, Verity…”

  “I wonder when Caitlin is going to call.” Verity glanced at the phone, then at her watch. “It’s only ten. She’s a night person. She’s probably still going through those old files.”

  “Verity, shut up and listen to me, dammit. You’ve got this all wrong,” Jonas said harshly. “The only reason I didn’t ask you to marry me before now was because…because…” For Christ’s sake, think, you fool. But how could he explain that he had just never thought about the matter until now? Everything had been so comfortable. He had been content. “There was no need. No rush, I mean. Everything was going along fine, we were getting to know each other. Establishing a relationship. Yeah, that’s what we were doing—establishing a relationship.”

  “A relationship, Jonas?”

  Jonas wished he’d read some of those pop psychology books about male-female relationships that were always being churned out. Trouble was, women were the only ones who read that sort of thing. Therefore, only women knew the right words and euphemisms; only women had a good command of the vocabulary needed to talk oneself out of a mess like this. A man was left stranded and helpless.

  “I would have gotten around to marrying you eventually. The baby just speeds things up a little, that’s all.”

  Verity smiled wryly. “Relax, Jonas. You don’t have to think of any excuses. I appreciate the gesture, but I assure you it’s not necessary. There really is no need for us to get married.”

  “This is not a gesture, dammit. I am not thinking up excuses. You want an apology? All right, I apologize for not having asked you to marry me before you got pregnant. It was just an oversight.”

  “Don’t apologize. I don’t want any apologies. And I don’t like being an oversight.” Her self-control slipped for a moment. For a split second Jonas caught a glimpse of the wariness and the very feminine anger that lay in the depths of her eyes. Then she had herself back in hand. “You’ve been honest with me this far, don’t spoil your track record. As I said, I appreciate your offer of marriage, but there’s no need for it. There’s no reason things can’t continu
e just as they have been for the past few months.”

  “What about your father? You think Emerson is going to like this?” He was clutching at straws and he knew it.

  Verity chuckled. “You know my father well enough to realize that if he hasn’t come after you with a shotgun by now, he’s not likely to ever. He likes you. I’m sure he’ll be pleased about the baby. But he raised me to make my own decisions. If he gives you a hard time, just tell him you did the noble thing and offered marriage. When he hears I’m the one who chose not to accept the offer, he’ll back off. He knows me.

  “I know you, too, Verity. Well enough to realize you’re making the wrong decision here. You’ll be much happier married. Trust me.”

  “In spite of the psychic link we share, Jonas, there are still a lot of things we don’t know about each other. Don’t assume you understand me perfectly, and don’t assume you know what’s best for me. You don’t. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go down the hall to the bathroom.” She reached for her cane and slid out of bed.

  “Maybe you don’t understand me all that well, either,” he shot back, feeling frustrated. “Maybe you’re making some dumb assumptions here, lady.”

  She didn’t bother to answer. She was sliding her feet into her slippers.

  Jonas’s hand clenched and unclenched as he watched her with brooding eyes. A few minutes ago everything had seemed crystal clear and totally straightforward. He and Verity had been living together. They were in love. She was pregnant with his kid. It was time to get married. Nothing could be simpler or more logical.

  It hadn’t even occurred to him that she would refuse him. But it should have, he thought angrily as he watched her make her way to the door. He should know by now that Verity was stubborn, unpredictable, and far too independent for her own good. He’d complained to her father about those faults on several occasions.

  But this was one of the few times Jonas had run up against Verity’s feminine pride, and he didn’t know quite how to deal with it. Apparently the little firebrand was too proud to marry him just because of the baby.