Lost (The Allure Chronicles Book 3)

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  “Then find it.” There went the fearlessness again.

  “You don’t want me to do that. It’s easier if you tell me yourself.” There was a warning in his words and his eyes, but I already knew I would ignore it.

  “Easy isn’t a real word.” Nothing was easy. I was done believing anyone who said the contrary.

  “Ok, now you sound like a whiney little kid.”

  Hearing him say kid made me wonder something. “How old are you?”

  “Older than you.” He smiled.

  “That doesn’t help.”

  “How old do you think I am?”

  I made a guess based on the youthfulness of his face and his full head of thick black hair. Although I’d learned physical appearance had little to do with age for some paranormal creatures. “Twenty-five.”

  “That’s how old I look.”

  “Ok, then how old are you really?”

  “Why does my age matter to you?”

  “Because I like to know these things.” And I was beginning to see that often age equaled power. I knew he was more powerful than me, but that wasn’t saying much.

  “Like you wanted to know my name.” He seemed to be analyzing me. “You’re so inquisitive. Like a human child.”

  “I like to know who I’m talking with. That doesn’t make me a child.” I wasn’t as bothered by his insinuation as I once would have been. Being associated with anything human was positive, and being curious wasn’t a bad thing. It was real. It wasn’t numbness.

  He smiled. “I’m several times your age. Does that help?”

  “How long will you live?”

  He laughed. “Checking to see if I’m immortal?”

  “Maybe.” I liked to know who I was dealing with, including understanding their life span. An immortal creature was likely very old and had interests and things at stake that I couldn’t fathom. They were also powerful. I’d learned that from the Allures and Elders. But then again the Dragos had made it sound like almost no creatures were immortal. Still, I wasn’t going to take the word of a quasi-dragon shifter.

  “Not immortal, but I will live several more lifetimes.” He opened his hand palm off and pushed down four fingers.

  I interpreted that to mean four more lifetimes. “That’s a while.”

  “It is, so I won’t be going anywhere too soon.” He smiled as if thinking about some private joke. I felt like my whole life was one big inside joke I wasn’t in on, yet I seemed to be the punchline.

  “Wonderful to know.” I gave what I believed was a reasonable response. “You aren’t as scary as I expected.”

  “You’re an Allure, how could I be scary?”

  “I wish I could be scared.”

  His expression softened. “You aren’t a normal Allure. I figured that out the moment I met you.”

  “I’m a broken Allure.” Or half of one. I was out of ideas for how else to explain it.

  “Oh, you’re broken all right. All aside from that damn allure.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

  I laughed. “Is it bothering you?”

  “Yes.” The coffee maker beeped and he walked over and opened a cabinet. He took down two large white mugs and carefully filled them both with steaming hot coffee. He put one down on the counter and scooted it toward me. “But it’s going to work to your advantage.”

  “Why’s that?” I ignored the coffee and watched him. I wasn’t sure anything would ever work to my advantage. My luck had run out years ago.

  “Because I don’t want to hurt you. I want to do plenty to you. With you. But I don’t want to hurt you.” His eyes ran up and down my body.

  He was starting to admit desire like a human. I could reach out and manipulate it, but that was impossible. He wasn’t human. I cringed as the desire swirled around begging me to take it in. I ignored the pull. “Yeah, not going to happen.”

  “Because you don’t desire it?” His eyes were wide and locked right on mine.

  “I’m an Allure.” That was the simple answer.

  “Yes, but you told me you sometimes feel.” He hadn’t blinked. Not once. I knew he wasn’t human, but the lack of blinking made it even more apparent.

  “Not desire for you.” Although I did feel his desire for me, and it was suddenly so heavy it seeped under my skin. My heart started beating faster with the urge to manipulate. It was as though someone had turned on a switch.

  “But that’s not why you wouldn’t want to be touched by me. Is it?” He sipped his coffee, seemingly oblivious to my struggle as his eyes maintained their heated appearance.

  He was talking about Owen. He was reading my past, opening me up in a way I didn’t want to be opened. He was seeing things I could no longer see or feel myself. Maybe he could pull the feelings out. “I don’t want to get over him.”

  “You’ve had some good dreams.” Sol grinned.

  “Have you seen them?” I could barely handle the overload of desire, maybe if I manipulated a little bit of them, the intensity would lessen. I focused in on the purple swirl. Letting it surround me. “I bet you have plenty of your own.”

  “I know what you’re doing.” He pushed the second coffee cup closer to me. “And it’s not going to work.”

  I loosened my hold on the emotion, but I didn’t completely let go. “I’m not doing it for the reason you think.”

  “You’re not trying to manipulate me into letting you go?” He adjusted the buckle of his belt.

  “No. I’m trying to get rid of some of your desire. It’s making me choke.” Not physically. Yet. But it might happen. I released my hold on his desire, breathing in the fresh air that replaced it in my lungs.

  “That makes two of us.”

  “Then stop.” He was a powerful creature. He had to be by the way Violet and the guys reacted. Even Roland had stepped down from him. Surely he could turn off his lust.

  “I can’t.” He stepped back.

  “Yes you can. If you want to.” Maybe that was an over simplification, but there had to be a way to turn it off. Some emotions aren’t choices, but desire was. Desire wasn’t despair or happiness. It was a murky emotion.

  “No. Which is why I need to get this over with. I need to get away from you. So drink up.” He gestured to the cup. “Your coffee is going to get cold.”

  I looked down at the black liquid. “You never offered me cream or sugar.”

  “You’re an Allure, you don’t need it.”

  “What if I wanted it?” I didn’t want either, but discussing coffee was everyday chatter. Nothing was less desire inducing.

  “You’re not getting what you want.” He blinked a few times as if trying to shake a dream.

  I looked down at the coffee again and then back up at Sol. “You’re trying to drug me.”

  “Why would you say that?” He rubbed his neck again.

  “Why else would you be pushing me to drink it?” It was obvious, yet I didn’t understand the reason. I hadn’t made any move to run, so he couldn’t have been that concerned with me leaving unless something much worse was coming.

  “Because you look tired. Besides I’m drinking it too. Would I want to drug myself?”

  “I’m not stupid. You put something in my cup or something.”

  He picked up my cup and drank a long, slow sip. “Nope.” He tipped the cup slowly to show me that some of the black liquid was gone.

  “Then you’re immune to whatever the drug is.”

  He stiffened. I’d figured it out.

  “Just drink your coffee.” He put the cup down in front of me.

  “No.” I shook my head.

  “Even Allures can feel physical pain.” He ran his fingers over my hand where it rested on the counter.

  “So?” I left my hand where it was. The physical sensation seemed to be lessening the urge to manipulate again.

  “So either you enjoy a hot cup of coffee, or you experience pain when I get the information I need from you.” His light touch became a painful squeeze.

 
I kept my hand exactly where it was. Using the pain to keep me focused. “Or you could ask me nicely, and I’ll tell you what you need to know.”

  “Oh yeah? Coming from the girl who won’t even tell me the name of the man she can’t get over?” He released my hand.

  “That’s different. That’s not something you need to know.” No one needed to know it. Yet Sol knew the name. He had to have. It was buried with the memories he had so easily reached.

  “How do you know?” Sol cocked his head to the side. “Maybe that’s exactly what I need to know.”

  “It’s not. It has nothing to do with anything.”

  “You’re wrong. He has plenty to do with this.”

  “I don’t want to be drugged.”

  “The pain is going to be horrible otherwise.” He picked up his mug and took another sip of his coffee.

  “Oh and the drug will fix it all?” I rolled my eyes. “Likely story. You just want to make things easier on yourself.”

  “It will make it enjoyable. Painless. You will believe you want to tell me everything so you will. We will get it all done quickly and then we can move on.”

  “Doubtful. Nothing is easy.” And what did moving on really mean? My hope at ending the numbness had faded out. I was becoming an Allure no matter how slowly the process was going.

  “I don’t want to hurt you.” He set his cup back down on the counter.

  “Yes, because you’d rather take me to bed. I got that the first time you said it.” I shouldn’t have made the joke, but the desire was getting to me. I reached out and let the smallest bit in again before quickly releasing it. “That’s all you want from me.”

  “That’s not it…. entirely.” He walked around the counter toward me again. “Although I do want it.”

  I let out a deep breath. “Meaning what?” I could ignore the desire again. The small taste had been worth it.

  “I like you beyond that. You seem interesting. I don’t meet too many people who interest me.”

  “I know the feeling, but that doesn’t mean I’m drinking that coffee. The pain might be a nice change of pace from the numbness.”

  “So sad.” He ran his hand down my cheek.

  I flinched. “What is?”

  “You.” He returned his hand to my cheek.

  “How come it doesn’t drug you? How does that work?” I manually removed his hand this time, which only got my hand pulled into his.

  “You don’t actually care about how the drug works.”

  “No. I want to know why I’m sad.” I tugged my hand away, and he let go.

  “It’s sad someone like you would end up emotionless. You have such passion in you. It’s a waste. You would have been a much better Seer. It would have been a far better choice for someone like you.”

  “Well, being turned into one supernatural creature was enough for my lifetime.”

  “You’re going to have a very long lifetime.”

  I didn’t want to think about my own endless life. “So are you.”

  He chuckled. “Yes, aren’t you glad you know that?”

  “I like to know things.” It made things simpler that way.

  “I am starting to see that.” My manipulation trick seemed to have helped both of us. His eyes were closer to normal again.

  “Do you wish you were immortal?” I watched for his answer. I wasn’t sure why I really cared, but I did. It was something other than numbness, so I grabbed hold of it.

  “Every time one of my kind dies, which doesn’t happen often.” He looked off at some spot in the distance.

  I turned to see if there was actually something behind me. There wasn’t, and I turned back to Sol. “I’d give you my immortality if I could.”

  “Oh yeah? Feeling generous?” There was a teasing note in his voice. At least he wasn’t talking about making me take the drugged coffee.

  “I’m not feeling anything.” I smiled, wondering if his choice of words had been intentional.

  “Bad choice of words, although you feel some...”

  “Not a lot.” Not nearly enough. Maybe once I was a full Allure I would stop missing my emotions, but I doubted it. Violet missed hers, and I remembered the Allure I met in the Glamour Realm. He’d been willing to do anything for one glimpse of a true memory with emotion. The lack of emotion was something one could never fully get used to.

  “You are trying to protect him.” Sol took a seat on a barstool.

  I sat down next to him, hoping this conversation would lead us somewhere. We’d been talking in circles, and it only made the numbness worse. “Yes.”

  “Why?” He tapped his toe of his boot on the bar of the stool.

  “Why does it matter?” I struggled to understand it, which meant it was nearly impossible to explain to someone else.

  “Because I am trying to understand.”

  “Why do you need to understand?” I shot back. He called my curiosity childlike, but I wouldn’t call his the same. There was nothing childlike about Sol. Although there was something surprisingly human. Not only was I able to manipulate him, but there was something else. I couldn’t put my finger on it.

  “Because I want to.” His lips twisted into the hint of a smile. “Sound familiar?”

  I nodded. “You can't always get what you want.”

  “Good song.”

  “But I wasn’t referring to the song.” I leaned my head back and stared up at the spinning ceiling fan.

  “I was referring to it.”

  I continued to watch the twirling blades.

  “Is my fan more interesting than me?”

  “No, but it’s less dangerous.”

  “Again with the danger. I know you aren’t afraid.”

  “How do you know that?” I looked forward at him. He had my attention.

  “I just do. Are you sure this isn't on purpose?”

  “Am I sure what isn’t on purpose?”

  “This.” he waved his arm between us.

  "No. Trust me. I'm not trying to create desire. I'm sick and tired of desire.” Just the mention of it made it seem stronger again. I shook my head and blinked a few times.

  "Unless it's about him."

  "Owen." I let his name roll of my tongue. Sol already knew the name. He was pretending he didn’t for some reason. A felt a surge of something other than numbness, and I held onto it with all my might.

  “You don’t want to let go of him.”

  “No.” Complete honesty came easier now. I had no fear of how someone would view me. It was freeing and one of the few positive side effects of my new existence. “But I don’t know why. I mean I know I loved him. I know he meant so much to me, and I’ve had glimpses of it, but then they fade out.” I thought of the graveyard. I wanted to get back to those moments.

  “Which means you aren’t a full Allure yet.” Sol got up from his stool. “Which you keep telling me, and I get on some levels, but I wish I knew why. Something is holding the change back.”

  “And once again I’ll return to our familiar question of why do you care?”

  “I’m worried I might kill you.”

  “Uh, why?” That wasn’t the answer I’d been expecting.

  “Because I’ve never tried what I’m about to do on someone part human.” He moistened his lips.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t do it then.” It would have helped if I knew what it was he needed to do. All he’d let on so far was it was going to be very painful, and he needed to get information from me. “I mean to be safe.”

  “Your allure isn’t that good.”

  “But you don’t want to kill me.” I could tell.

  “What makes you say that?” His eyes were light.

  “Because you’re not that kind of person.” And he was worried. It was clear on his face.

  “I’m not a person in the way you are used to.”

  “I’m used to non-humans. I still consider you a person. It’s easier.”

  “Easier isn’t always right. We’ve already had that
discussion.”

  “For my sanity I consider all supernatural creatures people so I can still consider myself a person.” Otherwise what was I? My consciousness had no other way to view the world.

  “You are still partially human.”

  “But I have to assume that won’t last.”

  “All right, enough distracting me.” He set aside his empty coffee.

  “If this kills me it’s going to be on your conscience forever.”

  “Who said I have a conscience?” His expression turned serious.

  “Fine. Get it over with.”

  12

  Owen

  “Dryad hunting?” I wasn’t sure which word was more surprising. Dryad or hunting. The only Dryads I knew of were reasonably friendly and calm. They weren’t exactly the kind of creatures I’d have expected to go hunting for.

  “Doesn’t he know?” Jonathan narrowed his eyes.

  “I spared them the details. You know how kids are these days.” Jim shook his head

  “How are kids these days?” Hailey asked with amusement. “I’m not sure I know.”

  “Short attention spans.” Jim’s eyes twinkled. He understood his humor even if no one else did.

  “Then why is he so willing to make the bargain?” Jonathan pressed.

  “He wants the information the Dryads will have for us.” Jim stepped toward him. “It involves a girl.”

  “Ok.” Jonathan nodded in understanding. “Good enough for me. “

  “Great.” Hailey led the way toward the back door.

  Amber was standing in front of the door, leaning back against it. “Leaving already?”

  “Yes. We found what he came for.” Jim patted Jonathan’s arm.

  “Did you find my brother?” Amber asked Hailey as we walked toward her.

  “Uh, no…” Hailey trailed off. “I’ll have to catch him next time.”

  “He’s staring at you right now.” Amber nodded behind us.

  “Yeah, we’ve got to go.” Impressively Hailey didn’t turn around.

  I did turn around, and I found a guy who looked nothing like any Jackal I’d ever seen. He was easily six foot tall. Most Jackals were less than 5’5, and as Amber had described, he was staring right at Hailey. “We need to go.”