Appreciate Your Life

by Taizan Maezumi

  Right now, however you are, is life. In Dogen Zenji’s Thorough Functioning (Shobogenzo Zenki), he says life is manifestation. When it is manifested, it is the total realization of life and nothing else, and also it is the total manifestation of death and nothing else. What kind of life is Dogen Zenji talking about? It is not at all hard to understand. In one second, life and death is appearing and disappearing more than six thousand times. Dogen Zenji also says, “You have boundless dharma.” In other words, in your life there are boundless, countless, innumerable dharmas. Life and death is one of these. How do you like it? You do not like it? I love it.

  “There is death in the midst of life, and there is life in the midst of death.” What kind of death, what kind of life is this?

  BLOSSOMS OF NIRVANA

  THERE IS A POEM about plum blossoms by Hata Zenji, the former chief abbot of Eiheiji monastery, which he gave to me when I once visited him.

  White plum, one blossom,

  two blossoms, three blossoms,

  one thousand blossoms,

  ten thousand blossoms.

  What is this plum blossom? The plum blossom has five petals, which some say symbolizes the five schools of Chinese Zen. But it seems to me that these five schools are tiny compared with the real blossom of life. There is also the udumbara flower, which blooms once every three thousand years. Only some twenty-five-hundred years have passed since Shakyamuni Buddha appeared in the world, so what kind of flower is this? The lotus is also a primary blossom, as in the Lotus Sutra. What are these blossoms? The plum, the udumbara, and the lotus blossoms are all analogous to the life of each of us.

  We appreciate this very life itself as the blossom of the Three Treasures when we observe Shakyamuni Buddha’s Nirvana Day. What is nirvana? There are different definitions of nirvana, just as there are different kinds of blossoms. For example, we can look at nirvana as the extinction of passion, although you may not be satisfied with that definition. Passion is not necessarily something negative. Passion is a very important, positive energy. If we extinguish this energy, we are dead. So this view of nirvana is like a candle that burns and is finally extinguished.

  What are some other kinds of nirvana? We say that when Shakyamuni Buddha attained realization, he entered nirvana. Being in nirvana, he still had to deal with the problems of the body and mind, such as illness, difficulties, and being disturbed in one way or another, just like you and me. Upon Parinirvana, or his physical death, all these physical and mental difficulties were extinguished.

  There are different implications to nirvana. Nirvana also refers to the genuineness of our own nature. In other words, our self nature is pure and genuine. What kind of blossom is this pure and genuine nature? Harada Sogaku Roshi, who was a brilliant scholar as well as a tough Zen master, wrote The Eight Beliefs of Buddhism. A more literal translation of the tide would be “eight things that we can trust or have faith in.”

  The first belief is intrinsic Buddha nature. You are this nature now, at this very moment! What is intrinsic Buddha nature? Where is it? Buddha nature is not only no other than this very form, it is also everything. It is one blossom, a hundred blossoms, ten thousand blossoms. What is the difference between this body and mind and your true nature? Do you have any false nature? You, being as you are, are you false? Even to say true nature is funny. Nature has no true or false. What is it?

  This leads us to the second belief, the misconception of the self or ego, I. Where does this I sneak in? One’s understanding about oneself is somewhat deluded. How do these deluded thoughts occur? We recognize something that is not quite adequate, and we lose the vision of the true nature of life. The third belief is the continuity of life before and after death. If this life continues, how does it continue? And the fourth belief is the sureness of causation. This is relatively easy to understand, everything occurs by causation. We often speak of something as a coincidence or accident, but nothing happens without direct and indirect causes. The next belief is the existence of all buddhas. There exist those who have broken through the illusion of ego and have realized Buddha nature. The sixth belief is the mutual attraction between you and the buddhas. Without this mutual attraction, would we practice the Way? Would we seek nirvana? Not only are we seeking, but the Way itself is supporting us. All buddhas exist, how do you communicate with them? Where and how do they exist? Then, the seventh belief is that you and others are not two. Do you believe this? If you do, how sure are you about it? How can you confirm the fact that everything is dependent upon every other thing? And the eighth belief is that we are all in the process of becoming Buddha. All of us, without exception regardless of race, nationality, education and so forth, are becoming Buddha.

  What is the relationship between the first belief of Buddha nature, that it is intrinsic, and the last belief, that we are all accomplishing the Buddha Way? Of course, it is not a matter of first and last, this is a continuous process, without beginning or end. If you do not see even one of these eight beliefs, you do not understand any of them. The reverse is also true. When you are sure of just one of these beliefs, you understand them all because all are connected. These are eight different aspects or perspectives of one fact. What is this fact?

  Another definition of nirvana is no dwelling place. What is this dwelling nowhere? In other words, in this life we are not confined to anypermanent or fixed state, so dwelling in no place is itself nirvana. Dogen Zenji urges us to take birth and death as nirvana itself. When you do this, you will dislike neither birth nor death, nor will you desire to attain nirvana. Thus, you are free from birth and death. This is the nirvana of no dwelling place, do you see? The Platform Sutra says that the Sixth Patriarch was enlightened upon hearing the line from the Diamond Sutra, “Dwelling in no place, raise the mind.” In other words, being truly free and liberated, your life unfolds naturally, without obstructions, and that is nirvana.

  So this Buddha nature is nirvana. This genuine nature is the blossom of your life. Dogen Zenji says: “Consider that nirvana is itself no other than our life.” How do we experience this for ourselves? Such experience gives us indestructible strength; it gives us confidence, conviction, and peace. Our life is nothing but this blossom of nondwelling, non-attached nirvana. How can you confirm this for yourself?

  UNKNOWN LIFE AND DEATH

  SOONER OR LATER each of us dies. I want to share with you this inevitable fact. None of us knows how long we will live. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, not even today. We never know.

  I was reading a story about a taxi driver who drank and argued with his wife all night long. Can you argue all night long? Maybe some of you have had that kind of experience. I myself have not, but I remember drinking all night long. Anyway, somehow the driver and his wile argued until morning, then he went to work at the Sapporo airport in Hokkaido, the northernmost island of Japan. Four men on a business trip arrived from Kyushu and asked the driver to take them to a town about a half hour away. The men asked the driver to wait while they conducted their business. After a while they returned and told the driver that they had time to do some sightseeing. The taxi driver drove to a lake, and after about an hour of sightseeing, the taxi plunged into the lake. The driver survived, but all four passengers were killed.

  The author of the story asks us to consider how many people suffer when one person dies. He says maybe five hundred people. I do not know if five hundred is a large or a small number, but if that is the number to use, then in this instance two thousand people suffered. How do we think about these four passengers, or about anyone who has died? What are they doing now? Have they completely disappeared? Or is something remaining and continuing in some way? In fact, Dogen Zenji says, “After we die, what continues is the karma we created, both good and bad.” What does this mean?

  Life and death is a primary theme that we must clarify. We are all concerned about death in one way or another. What will happen after we die? This reminds me of a book by a medical doctor and professor at Tokyo University who died
of cancer in 1962. I knew him because although he was a Christian, he sat with my teacher Koryu Roshi and even gave talks in the zendo. As a doctor, he was always dealing with someone else’s sickness. But when he himself had cancer, he had to deal with his own illness; it was now his own issue. What kind of struggles did he go through? During that time he wrote a book about his understanding of what was going to happen after his death. He felt that life ends after death. Perhaps he reached that kind of conclusion because he was a scientist.

  The author of the story about the taxi driver takes a different position. He says that we do not know what is going to happen after death. He does not take any position about extinction or continuation of some kind; rather, he says it is unknown. In other words, it cannot be known through our logical, intellectual speculation. I agree with this. What I myself have been seeing more and more is how little we know. How little we know! And when we make any assertion relating to what is going to happen after death, who can really reply with a definite, one hundred percent, for sure answer?

  Before birth is another aspect. Before you were born, what was your life? Was it existing or not existing? Definitely it was not existing as the life that you are living right now, but as sure as all of us die in one way or another, sooner or later we also come from somewhere. Without our parents, our parents’ parents, and our parents’ parents’ parents, we would not be here. If we come from somewhere before birth, are we going somewhere after death?

  The Buddha talked about life and death as his major concern. In his first sermon on the Four Noble Truths, the first truth was that life is suffering. Being born is suffering, being ill is suffering, growing old is suffering, dying is suffering. Why are they all suffering? Buddha talks about I. He says that there is no such thing as this I that we hold on to. Instead, there is impermanence and no substantial self. At the same time, he tells us to take good care of this I. Make this I as the dharma, as the teaching, the torch that shines upon your life. How do we see these different aspects of life? And facing these sufferings of life, how do we detach from holding on? I think the major holding on, in one way or another, is to oneself, to this I.

  I myself have faith in the fact that this life will not end when I die. This means I will die and I will not die. I believe that regardless of how true it is. And if people say that I am wrong, I accept it; it does not make any difference to me. This unborn, undying life, which has been continuing, is very important. We do not know exactly how it has been continuing, but we know for sure that without the unborn, undying life, our life would not be here. Isn’t this so? So how do we appreciate this unknown part of our life?

  We try to understand our life in our heads. This is a very drunken state, more drunk than the taxi driver. Why? Of course, the driver did an awful thing. He caused four people to die and made at least two thousand people suffer. But when we ourselves are not sober, when we ourselves are not aware of this unborn, undying life, we are also killing, do you see? Killing the life of what? We are killing the life of the buddhas and ancestors.

  I appreciate the unknown energy or life force that is supporting us, making things happen and keeping our life going. Things that happen are not casual coincidences. How do we appreciate this flow of our life, regardless of whether it is pleasant, unpleasant, joyous, or painful? Our actions always have causes and effects. So in sharing our life together, let us be kind to each other and to ourselves as much as we can.

  SHAKYAMUNI BUDDHA AND I ARE PRACTICING TOGETHER

  THE CHINESE ZEN MASTER Gensha lived in the late Tang dynasty a little over twelve hundred years ago. One day while Gensha and his father were fishing, the father drowned. Gensha stopped being a fisherman and went to Master Seppo’s monastery, where he ordained as a monk. At that time Gensha was already thirty years old, in those days a fairly advanced age for ordination and training.

  Master Seppo was a very famous Zen master. It is said that fifteen hundred monks were practicing at his monastery. After two years, Gensha embarked on a pilgrimage to other monasteries. While walking, he stubbed his toe on a sharp rock. Gensha cried out, “Where does this pain come from?”

  This body is empty, so where does pain come from? When we stub our toe, don’t we usually shout, “This dumb rock!” or “I am so stupid!” What kind of awareness do we have? Yet in Gensha’s case, he asked, “Where does this pain come from?” And at that instant, he attained realization.

  Gensha immediately returned to Master Seppo. Seeing Gensha limping, Master Seppo asked, “Why aren’t you on your pilgrimage?” Gensha replied, “Bodhidharma has never come from India, and the second patriarch has never gone to India. Bodhidharma and I are walking together hand in hand. Bodhidharma is no other than myself. I am the second patriarch, going nowhere. Being here is my life! Shakyamuni Buddha and I are sitting together, sharing life together, living together, breathing together, counting together, being drowsy together.”

  Now, we all know that Bodhidharma came from India and that his successor, the Second Patriarch (Taiso Eka) in China, never went to India. So what did Gensha mean?

  Gensha became one of the best of Master Seppo’s many successors, and yet he had a very difficult time in practice. He was determined to resolve his doubts, and his questioning was most important. Being in his thirties, Gensha had probably formed a certain understanding about life and was perhaps not so flexible. How did he empty himself? He was training in a huge monastery with fifteen hundred other monks. How much of a chance did he have to talk to Master Seppo? Perhaps they rarely spoke, and yet Gensha attained realization. How did this happen? How about the other hundreds of monks? And how about you?

  You may be asking, “Will this happen to me? How can I confirm myself?” Gensha realized himself as Shakyamuni Buddha, as Bodhidharma, as the Second Patriarch. This is true for all of us. Regardless of whether we realize it or not, our life is the life of Shakyamuni Buddha. We are sharing that life together. Gensha realized this by not confining himself to the usual ways of thinking.

  We are all on some kind of quest. We have some determination to know who we are or how to pursue our life in the best way. What is the difference between Gensha and ourselves? What creates the obstacles that keep us from seeing what Gensha saw? What creates the hindrances that prevent each of us from seeing himself or herself as the one who is constantly dancing, singing, and talking with Shakyamuni Buddha? All of us must see this for ourselves. No one can do it for us.

  How do you confirm yourself as “Shakyamuni and I are practicing together, living together”? In order to experience this, you need to do something with your busy mind. By counting your breath you can trim off busy thoughts, rising like bubbles, one after another. Are you practicing with bubbles instead of with Shakyamuni Buddha? By counting your breaths in cycles of ten, all these numerous thoughts are reduced to ten. By following the breath, you reduce it to two, inhalation and exhalation. But it is not simply a matter of two, ten, or one hundred. Don’t forget, breathing is life. By breathing genuinely in this way, you begin to live in this way. In what way? You appreciate intimately the life that you are living in this very moment.

  When I was in college, I lived in a dormitory where I studied with Koryu Roshi. Koryu Roshi often said, “When you breathe in, breathe in the whole universe. When you breathe out, breath out the whole universe. Breathing in and out, in and out, eventually you even forget about who is breathing what.” There is no inside, no outside; no this, no that. Everything is all together disappearing. So what is there? You can answer, “Nothing.” When you truly sit, you can also say, “Everything.”

  When we understand Master Gensha’s statement, all of our questions about practice will be resolved. Have trust in your life as the Way itself. Have trust in yourself as Shakyamuni Buddha himself. I want you to appreciate this. This is not a sophisticated teaching. Your life is “Shakyamuni Buddha and I are practicing together.” Please have good trust in yourself.

  APPENDIX

  GENJO KOAN

&nbs
p; by Eihei Dogen

  When all dharmas are buddha-dharma, there are enlightenment and delusion, practice, life and death, buddhas and creatures.

  When the ten thousand dharmas are without self, there are no delusion, no enlightenment, no buddhas, no creatures, no life and no death.

  The buddha way transcends being and non-being; therefore there are life and death, delusion and enlightenment, creatures and buddhas.

  Nevertheless, flowers fall with our attachment, and weeds spring up with our aversion.

  To carry the self forward and realize the ten thousand dharmas is delusion.

  That the ten thousand dharmas advance and realize the self is enlightenment.

  It is buddhas who enlighten delusion.

  It is creatures who are deluded in enlightenment.

  Further, there are those who attain enlightenment above enlightenment; there are those who are deluded within delusion.

  When buddhas are truly buddhas, one need not be aware of being buddha.

  However, one is the realized buddha and further advances in realizing buddha.

  Seeing forms with the whole body and mind, hearing sounds with the whole body and mind, one understands them intimately.

  Yet it is not like a mirror with reflections, nor like water under the moon—

  When one side is realized, the other side is dark.

  To study the buddha way is to study the self.

  To study the self is to forget the self.

  To forget the self is to be enlightened by the ten thousand dharmas.

  To be enlightened by the ten thousand dharmas is to free one’s body and mind and those of others.

  No trace of enlightenment remains, and this traceless enlightenment is continued forever.