Witch is How The Dice Fell

by Adele Abbott

  “Have you seen all those awful pictures?” Pearl laughed. “I don’t know why she doesn’t just burn them.”

  “She can’t do that. Barry is hoping to have his own exhibition.”

  “Poor thing. He’ll be a laughing stock.”

  “Anyway, the reason I popped in was—”

  “We know. A caramel latte and a muffin.”

  “Yes, but apart from that, I wanted to warn you and Amber that Kathy and Lizzie will be coming to my house on Saturday, to see you and the little ones.”

  “That’s great. It’ll be nice to see them again.”

  “You’ll both have to be on your best behaviour.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean magic-wise. You mustn’t use any magic in front of them.”

  “We’re not stupid, Jill. And, anyway, we wouldn’t have been able to use it in front of Jack even if your sister wasn’t coming over.”

  “Yeah, right, of course. I knew that. How’s business upstairs?”

  “The creche? It’s been busy all morning.” She checked the clock on the wall behind the counter. “In fact, it’s probably time you were going up there, Mindy.”

  “Do you work up there too?” I said.

  “I just cover Belladonna’s lunch hour.” She smiled. “That’s plenty long enough for me, to be honest.”

  “It can’t be that bad, can it? When I was up there, the kids were really quiet or fast asleep.”

  “I don’t seem to have Belladonna’s magic touch. As soon as I get up there, they all go crazy. I’m exhausted by the time Belladonna gets back.”

  Chapter 8

  Cuppy C was busy, so Pearl wasn’t able to join me at my table. Normally, I liked to take my time with a muffin, and savour every mouthful, but today, I finished it in record time. Likewise with the coffee.

  No, it wasn’t gluttony. I wanted to be ready for when Belladonna came downstairs, which sure enough, a few minutes later she did. I waited until she was out of the door, and then shouted my goodbyes to Pearl.

  The twins seemed delighted with their new employee, and there was no doubt that the creche was a resounding success, but I still had my reservations about Belladonna. Mindy’s comments had just served to increase my doubts. Why were the kids so subdued and well behaved for Belladonna, but then loud and disruptive as soon as Mindy took over? It reminded me of the little girl, Tiffany, who I’d first seen in the creche and then, only minutes later, out on the street. She’d acted like two different children.

  It was quite possible that I was being overly suspicious; it wouldn’t be the first time. Still, it wouldn’t do any harm to find out a little more about the strange young woman who had such a penchant for purple and black.

  Fortunately, the street outside Cuppy C was busy, so I was able to follow Belladonna without fear of her spotting me. It soon became obvious that she was headed for the market square. To pick up lunch? Why wouldn’t she eat in Cuppy C? The twins gave all of their staff a discount. Maybe she just preferred to get out into the fresh air.

  When she reached the market, she walked down one of the aisles of stalls. I took the one that ran parallel to it, from where I still had a good view of her. Halfway down the aisle, she stopped at a flower stall, and it was obvious she was making a purchase. From my vantage point, I couldn’t see what she’d bought, but when she continued on her journey, and I got close to her again, I saw the black and purple flowers.

  Once we were out of the market square, the streets were much less crowded, so I made myself invisible, just in case she looked behind her. I needn’t have worried because she never once looked back. After a few minutes, I realised where she was headed. The last time I’d been to this graveyard was when I’d attended my mother’s funeral, shortly after the revelation that I was a witch. The weather that day had been grey and wet, but today the sun was beating down from a cloudless sky.

  Once inside the graveyard, she slowed her pace a little. The area just inside the gates was well maintained, but she seemed to be headed for the far side, which was overgrown and neglected. The grass was waist high; weeds had covered most of the fallen and crumbling headstones. Eventually, she came to a halt in front of one of the few headstones that were still upright. With her head bowed, she mouthed a few words before placing the flowers on the grave. Moments later, she turned away and hurried past me towards the exit. As she did, I could see the tears in her eyes.

  I felt a little guilty at having spied on such a private moment, but the guilt wasn’t enough to suppress my curiosity entirely. Once I was sure Belladonna had left the graveyard, I reversed the ‘invisible’ spell, and then walked over to take a look at the headstone where she’d laid the flowers.

  It was blank.

  ***

  Lawrence Lawson was one of the men who had been with Kirk Sparks on the night that he’d been refused entry to the Lucky Thirteen casino. He’d agreed to meet me in Java’s coffee shop.

  “Thank you for seeing me.”

  “No problem.” Lawrence was in his early forties and looked as though he might once have been an athlete. “Kirk and I had been friends for ages. I still can’t believe he’s gone.”

  If we hadn’t been in such a public place, I’m not sure he would have been able to suppress the tears I could hear in his voice.

  “You know his wife, Bernie, I assume?” I said.

  “Of course. How’s she doing?”

  “Not great, but mainly she’s angry. She doesn’t believe Kirk’s death was an accident.”

  “If I thought for one moment that it was anything but a tragic accident, I’d move heaven and earth to find out who was behind it, but it’s obvious the lightning strike dislodged those dice. I hate to see her wasting her money trying to find someone to blame.”

  “You may be right about it being an accident, and I can promise you if that’s the case, then I’ll tell Bernie just that. But if there’s even the smallest possibility that foul play was involved, wouldn’t you want those responsible to be brought to justice?”

  “Of course.”

  “That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I need to know more about the night of the birthday celebrations when you visited the casino and Kirk was turned away.”

  “It was Fred’s birthday.”

  “That’s Fred Marlow, right?”

  “Yes. Have you spoken to him yet?”

  “No, I haven’t been able to contact him, but I plan to.”

  “The thing that haunts me is that it was my idea.”

  “To go to the casino?”

  He nodded. “I was the only one who’d been there before.”

  “You’d all been drinking?”

  “Yes. In Washbridge from about eight o’clock.”

  “Were you drunk?”

  “Merry, maybe, but definitely not drunk. And Kirk wasn’t even merry; he’d moved onto cola while the rest of us were still on beer.”

  “And yet, he was the only one the doorman barred from entering the casino.”

  “That’s right. The rest of us were already inside.”

  “What did you do when you realised he wasn’t with you?”

  “We went back to the door and tried to reason with the doorman, but he wasn’t having it, so we were going to leave too.”

  “But you didn’t?”

  “Only because Kirk insisted that we stay. He said he was tired, and that he was going to get a taxi home. I wish we’d left with him now.”

  “I’m not sure that would have changed anything.”

  “Maybe, maybe not. He definitely had a bee in his bonnet about the casino after that night.”

  “What did he say about it?”

  “Not much. He didn’t go into detail—he never really talked about any of the stories he was working on, but I got the impression that he’d dug up something about the casino. Something bad.”

  ***

  When I arrived home, Britt was in the front garden again.

  “Hi, err—?” she called to me
.

  “Jill.”

  “Sorry, Jill. I will get it eventually, I promise. I have a photographic memory for most things, but I struggle with names for some reason.”

  “At this rate, you’ll be putting our garden to shame.”

  “Gardening is a passion of mine.”

  Just then, Lovely appeared at Britt’s feet. When I glanced down at her, she winked at me and gestured towards Britt.

  “Is your cat eating okay now?”

  “No, she still won’t touch her food. I think it must be what you said: the stress of moving to a new house.”

  “Actually, I was thinking about that. Maybe she doesn’t like the new food that you’ve swapped to.”

  Britt looked puzzled. “How did you know that we’d changed her food?”

  That was a very good question.

  “I—err, I guess Kit must have mentioned it to me.”

  “Oh? Right.” She looked down at Lovely. “Is that it, girl? Don’t you like the new food?”

  In response, Britt heard the cat meow loudly, but I heard her say, “It’s revolting. Bring back the old stuff.”

  “I’d better get going.” I started for the door.

  “Will you and Jack be going to the Normals’ housewarming tonight?”

  Oh bum! I’d blocked that out of my mind. “I’m not sure. I think we might have something else planned.”

  “Do try, even if it’s just for half an hour.”

  “We’ll do our best.”

  ***

  “There must be some way we can get out of this,” I said.

  “I don’t want to get out of it.” Jack was busy trying on different ties. “It’ll be fun.”

  “It’s a housewarming party. How is that going to be fun?”

  “There’ll probably be lots of cake.”

  “You don’t know that for sure. The Normals probably don’t even eat cake. They look like the kind of people that would maintain a no-cake diet.”

  “Now you’re just being ridiculous. It’ll be nice to have a chance to see all of our neighbours in one place.”

  “But they’re all weirdos.”

  “Mr Hosey’s a bit weird, I grant you.”

  “A bit? The man dresses up as a tree.”

  “The other neighbours are okay, though.”

  Before I could disagree, there was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it,” Jack volunteered.

  I knew why he’d offered to get the door; it was because I was winning the argument about the neighbours. They were all weird—there was no getting away from that. Jack and I were an oasis of normality in a sea of crazy.

  What do you mean I only got that half right?

  “Jill!” Jack shouted from downstairs. “I think you’d better come and see this.”

  That sounded like bad news.

  Outside the door, there were two young people on bikes. One of them was Lucy Locket; the young man, though, I didn’t recognise.

  “I think you’d better sort this out, Jill.” Jack stood to one side.

  “Hi, Lucy.” I stepped forward.

  “Hello, Jill. This is Peter.”

  “Peter Piper.” He smiled.

  “Nice to meet you, Peter. What seems to be the problem?”

  “These.” Lucy pulled back the cover from Peter’s basket.

  “Do you see the issue now?” Jack chipped in.

  “Why do you have so many packets of custard creams in there?” I tried to count them, but gave up at twenty-two.

  “It’s your order. There are forty packets.”

  “I didn’t order all those.”

  “Your order was actually for twenty-five packets.”

  “That was just a mistake. The quantity button on the app wasn’t working properly. Didn’t Little Jack see the note I made in the comments section? It said the quantity should have been four.”

  “I tried to tell him that,” Lucy said. “But he insisted that at the rate you went through custard creams, four couldn’t possibly be right. He thought that once you’d realised the quantity maxed out at twenty-five, you’d tried to enter a comment saying you wanted forty packets.”

  Little Jack and I eventually reached a compromise. I agreed to keep ten packets of biscuits, and he put the rest back into stock. I also got him to agree to investigate the problem with the quantity button on the app. He said he’d also increase the maximum quantity to fifty, just in case I needed that many in future.

  ***

  My last-minute plea that I wasn’t feeling well had fallen on deaf ears, so I was now resigned to an evening with the Normals. All the time we were getting changed for the housewarming party, Jack had a stupid smirk on his face.

  “You’d better not mention the custard creams when we get to the party,” I threatened him.

  “Why not? It’ll make a great ice-breaker.”

  “I’m warning you. I don’t want everyone thinking I’m some kind of custard cream junkie.”

  “That would never do.”

  “What’s that?”

  “It’s a welcome to your new home card.” Jack locked the door behind us.

  “You bought them a card?”

  “And a gift voucher for Washbridge Department Store.”

  “We barely know them.”

  “Of course we barely know them; they’ve only just moved in. That’s why it’s called a housewarming party.”

  “I hope you didn’t spend too much.”

  “Definitely not as much as you spent on custard creams.”

  “Are you ever going to let me forget about that?”

  “Probably not.”

  Norm and Naomi Normal were waiting by the door to greet their guests.

  “Hi, you two.” Norm beamed. “I’m so glad you could make it.”

  “Everyone else is already inside,” Naomi said.

  “I’m sorry we’re a little late.” Jack handed over the card. “Jill had a custard cream emergency. Ouch!” He began to hop around.

  My kick to his shin may or may not have had something to do with that.

  Inside, were all the usual suspects: Tony and Clare (minus any costumes), Jimmy and Kimmy (also minus their costumes, thankfully), Britt and Kit, and a few others who I didn’t know, other than to say hello to.

  We’d only been there a few minutes when Jack became engrossed in conversation with Tony and Clare about TenPinCon. Fascinating as that was, I managed to drag myself away.

  “Hey, Jill,” Britt called to me.

  “You remembered my name.”

  “It always takes me a while with new people, but I get there in the end. I just wanted to thank you for suggesting that Lovely might not be eating because we’d changed her food. You were right. As soon as we gave her some of her old stuff, she wolfed it down.”

  “That’s great.”

  “The strange thing is that Kit doesn’t remember telling you that we’d swapped her food.”

  “He must have done. How else could I have known? It’s not like Lovely could have told me, is it?”

  “Who’s the guy with the leaves in his hair?” Jimmy said.

  “That’s Mr Hosey. He’s in charge of the local neighbourhood watch.”

  “Do you think I should tell him he has leaves in his hair?”

  “Are you interested in trains?”

  “Not particularly.”

  “In that case, I definitely wouldn’t bother.”

  “Is it true what I heard?” Kimmy said.

  “What’s that?”

  “A little bird told me you like to—err—” She blushed. “Become one with nature, so to speak.”

  “No, no! That was all just a big misunderstanding.”

  “That’s a pity. I’ve always thought naturism could be something I might enjoy.”

  “Err, I think Jack’s calling me. Excuse me, would you?”

  I grabbed Jack by the arm. “Sorry, Tony, Clare. I just need to borrow my husband for a minute.”

  “What’s up?” Jack said.


  “You deserted me.”

  “I was just talking to—”

  “I know what you were doing. While you’ve been talking TenPinCon, I’ve been cornered by every nutter in the place. Let’s go home.”

  Just then, Norm Normal called for silence. “Neighbours, thank you all for making us feel so welcome. And thank you too for your very generous gifts.”

  “Generous?” I mouthed to Jack who ignored me.

  Naomi spoke next, “Norm and I have a favourite parlour game that we’d like to share with you tonight. Bring it through, Norm.”

  It took him a few minutes to set it up, and only when he’d finished did I realise what it was.

  “Come on.” I tugged at Jack’s arm. “Let’s go.”

  “Hold on. I want to see what this is.”

  “We had this giant edition of the magnetic fishing game specially commissioned for tonight,” Norm said. “We’re sure that you’ll enjoy it.”

  “Come on, Jack, that’s our cue to leave.”

  “We can’t leave now. That game sounds like fun.”

  Oh bum!

  Chapter 9

  “I thought you said you weren’t a bad loser.” Jack smirked, as he poured out a bowl of muesli.

  “I’m not a bad loser.”

  “Why are you still sulking then?”

  “I’m not sulking. I’m still half asleep. If we’d left the Normals’ house when I wanted to, I would have got a good night’s kip.”

  “But then we’d have missed all the fun.”

  “By fun, I assume you’re referring to magnetic fishing?”

  “It was brilliant, wasn’t it? Remind me again who won?”

  “Catching four magnetic fish isn’t anything to brag about.”

  “How many did you manage to catch?”

  “I wasn’t even trying. It’s a stupid game.”

  “I seem to recall that you didn’t catch any.”

  “Okay, if we’re going to talk fishing, why don’t you tell me again how you did in your sea-fishing contest with Peter?”

  “That’s a low blow.”

  The bin was only half full, but I decided to take the rubbish out anyway. Anything to get away from Jack’s magnetic fishing braggadocio.