The Fearless Five

by Bannie McPartlin

  ‘Why don’t you boys eat your dinner in front of the telly tonight?’ Dad said.

  We were up and gone before he’d finished the sentence. We didn’t speak, we just sat with our food on our laps listening to grown men talk about football. As soon as we were finished we disappeared into the safety of our own rooms.

  I kept a walkie-talkie by my bedroom window. Johnny J had given me one of a set his uncle had bought him a year earlier. The reception was bad but we made it work. I picked it up, opened my window and sat on the window ledge and pressed the button.

  ‘Number One Buddy, this is Brown Bear. Come in. Over.’

  There was nothing.

  ‘Number One Buddy, this is Brown Bear. Please come in. Over?’

  Still nothing.

  ‘Number One Buddy, this is Brown Bear. It’s going to be OK. We’ll fix it. Over.’ Then I saw the window open and he leaned out and stared right at me.

  ‘Promise? Over,’ he said, and I nodded.

  ‘Promise. Over,’ I said.

  I went to bed that night worried. Every conversation I’d had and heard that day spun around in my head. The kids in the park booing and hissing and the sound of everyone crying. I was terrified that Johnny J would have to move to England to live with his auntie and I couldn’t stop thinking about my promise. It’s going to be OK. We’ll fix it. But how?

  Then I remembered what Mr Lucey had said to my dad about the World Cup. He said the whole country would shut down for the Ireland games, but Rolands’ Garage was staying open and the granny would be minding the shop for the match! And that was it. That was the moment I decided that if we were going to save Mrs Tulsi’s life and I was going to keep my best friend living four doors down from me, we had to rob Rolands’ Garage during the Ireland v Egypt match. Every other person in the country would be otherwise occupied. It was our big chance and I knew it was a mad idea, but it was the only one I had.

  5

  The Den

  The day after the boxing match all the boys were in our den when I got there. And Charlie. It really bothered me. She had no business being there.

  ‘What’s she doing here?’ I asked as rudely as I could. I didn’t care. The den was ours. A girl-free zone. There used to be a sign up on the door that said ‘No Girls Aloud’, but it fell off in a storm and blew away. I really missed that sign.

  ‘I invited her,’ Johnny J said, and he gave me that stern look that said ‘Back off’, so I did. I didn’t need the distraction anyway. I had a plan to deliver. Everyone sat down and I stood at the front of the room.

  ‘So I’ve been thinking …’ I started to say.

  ‘Don’t burst a blood vessel,’ Walker said, and the others laughed, even Charlie. The neck of her, laughing at me in our ‘Boys Only’ den!

  I flushed red, but I wasn’t going to be discouraged so I pushed on. ‘We need to rob Rolands’ Garage.’

  ‘Excuse me?’ Walker said. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. To be fair, when I said it out loud it did sound mad.

  ‘The Ireland–Egypt match is on the seventeenth. That’s three days from now. Every man, woman and child in this country is going to be glued to the telly. That includes the coppers. I know for a fact that Jim Roland’s granny is going to be looking after the garage that day so the Roland men can go down the pub …’

  They were all dumbfounded. I knew they were dumbfounded because all their mouths were wide open. A piece of Spam fell from Sumo’s.

  ‘You want to rob a granny?’ Walker said, pushing his glasses up his nose and looking around for someone else, anyone at all, to say something. No one spoke. I think they were in shock.

  ‘I’m pretty sure she’ll sleep through it,’ I said with great confidence.

  ‘Why?’ Charlie asked.

  ‘Because that’s what grannies do,’ I said.

  ‘I mean, why are we robbing Rolands’?’

  Johnny J cast his eyes to the floor. He couldn’t look at anyone. Even me.

  ‘Because we can’t hang around any more. We need to get Johnny J’s mam to America fast,’ I said, and Sumo, Walker and Charlie stared at Johnny J.

  He covered his ears with his hands and placed his face in his lap the way he used to do when we were kids and he didn’t want to play any more.

  ‘Oh!’ Charlie said.

  ‘Oh,’ Walker said.

  ‘OK,’ Sumo said. ‘We’ll rob Rolands’.’ He shrugged as he said it.

  Walker looked outraged. ‘What? Have you lost your minds?’ he shouted at Sumo, but Sumo just shook his head from side to side.

  ‘It’s Johnny J’s mam, Walker.’

  ‘There has to be something else we can do,’ Walker said.

  ‘Good, great, I’m all for that, and when you come up with a better idea, let us know. In the meantime, we’re robbing Jim Roland’s granny,’ I shouted. I didn’t mean to shout. It was all very stressful.

  Walker stood up and started to pace the floor. Over and back, like a demented caged animal.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Charlie asked.

  ‘I’m thinking,’ he growled, then he coughed and spluttered and all of a sudden he couldn’t catch his breath, so he pulled an inhaler out of his pocket and sucked on it hard.

  ‘Sit down,’ I said. He sat down and put his head between his legs.

  Sumo raised his hand.

  ‘Yes, Sumo.’

  ‘You said Jim Roland’s granny would probably be asleep. What if she’s not asleep?’ he asked.

  ‘Good question, Sumo,’ I said, and he nodded happily. ‘Do you remember when my mam went to New York?’ I asked.

  ‘Do we what? You talked about it for six months. Look at my cool American sweatshirt. Look at my cool American jeans,’ Walker said between deep breaths.

  I ignored him. ‘Well, she brought back some pepper spray. It’s totally illegal, but she figured that Rachel might need it to protect herself from madmen when she went to nursing school.’

  ‘Pepper spray? The stuff that blinds people?’ Walker said, clearly alarmed.

  ‘It only temporarily blinds people. It also causes difficulty breathing, a runny nose and coughing …’ They were all staring at me like I was nuts. ‘It only lasts about half an hour!’ I said, trying to redeem myself.

  ‘You want to use pepper spray on a granny?’ Sumo said.

  ‘No, of course not. We’ll just threaten her with it.’

  ‘Ah I don’t know. That’s not on. She could have a heart attack,’ Sumo said.

  ‘She’ll be grand,’ I said.

  ‘She probably won’t know what it is,’ Charlie said, and I wasn’t sure if she was being helpful or not, so I just scowled at her.

  ‘Maybe I could just put her in a headlock?’ Sumo offered. We all ignored him. That was a stupid idea.

  Johnny J took his hands away from his ears and raised his head. ‘How much do you think we’d get?’

  ‘Enough to get your mam to America that’s for sure,’ I said, and he nodded thoughtfully.

  ‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ he asked, and I nodded. ‘Then I’m in,’ he said.

  Walker’s face fell and Sumo sighed deeply before tucking into a plate of Spam sandwiches his mam had made and left earlier.

  ‘Me too,’ Charlie said.

  I shouted, ‘NO WAY!’

  ‘Yes way.’

  ‘Nobody asked you! Tell her, Johnny J.’ I mean honestly – a girl robbing Rolands’ with us?! That was just ridiculous.

  ‘I really appreciate it, Charlie, but Jeremy’s right. You can’t come,’ said Johnny J.

  ‘I can and I will,’ she said, resting her hands on her hips to let us know she meant business.

  ‘It’s not happening,’ Johnny J said.

  I noticed the other two boys remained silent.

  ‘Oh, it’s happening,’ Charlie said. ‘And if I’m not with you, I’m against you.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I said, and I’ll admit I was screeching a little.

 
‘I’ll tell.’

  ‘You would never!’ I said, but I knew she would. Girls are such telltales.

  ‘You need me for this to work, and if you don’t bring me I will tell, because getting in trouble with your parents is better than you getting caught by the police.’ She was deadly serious and acting like she was doing us a favour. Charlie Eastman thought she was Clint Eastwood.fn1 I was so enraged I had to fight with everything in me not to have a full-on meltdown.fn2 I balled my fists up and really tried hard to control my temper just like my mam had told me. Count to ten, Jeremy, and breathe. One, two, three, four, five, six … I got to seven and realised everyone was staring at me like I was nuts.

  ‘What makes you think it won’t work without you?’ I said through gritted teeth.

  Charlie stood up and turned her back on me and faced the other three. ‘Because my brother worked there for two summers. I know every inch of the place. Including where they keep the petty cash in the back.’

  Ah nuts!

  ‘So does the granny know you?’ Walker asked.

  Good question. I wished I’d thought of it.

  ‘I met her once or twice, but I’ll wear my brother Louis’s helmet to disguise myself. Jeremy can do the talking. I’ll just nip into the back and grab the cash,’ she said. She had it all worked out in seconds, like some kind of criminal genius. It was very disturbing.

  ‘OK,’ Johnny J said.

  OK! OK?! What do you mean, OK?! I felt sick.

  Charlie jumped up and roared. ‘YES! I’m in!’ Then she turned to the other two boys. ‘And what about you two?’

  Sumo was still shaking his head from side to side. He was rocking back and forth a little too.

  ‘Yeah, of course, but no, it’s wrong! But for Johnny J. Oh I dunno, it’s not legal. It’s not right,’ he said.

  ‘No, Sumo, robbing grannies and garages is not legal, but if it saves Mrs Tulsi it is right,’ I said.

  ‘I’m a Young Scientist winner,’ Walker said as though someone had just asked him to list his achievements to date.

  ‘So what anyway?’ I said.

  ‘It means I’m too smart to go to prison.’

  ‘No one’s going to prison,’ I said.

  ‘Robbers go to prison,’ Walker said. ‘Fact.’

  ‘Only if they’re caught,’ Johnny J said, and Walker sighed, a heavy sigh.

  ‘FINE! I’ll do it, but only if Sumo will too.’

  I could tell Sumo was worried about God crying. ‘OK,’ he said. ‘But I am not pepper-spraying any grannies.’

  ‘Fair enough,’ I said. No one wanted that.

  6

  The Plan

  Once we were all in agreement I revealed my plan. It was a simple one really. We dress up in the Irish colours, paint our faces green, white and gold and wear large, silly, furry, Irish-flag-coloured hats. That way we’d be partially disguised during the robbery and we’d blend in with the rest of Ireland after it.

  ‘How do we get away?’ Charlie asked.

  ‘Our bikes,’ I said.

  ‘What if the money’s too heavy?’ Walker said.

  ‘It’s Rolands’ Garage, not the Central Bank,’ I said.

  ‘So we’ll take a small bag of money each,’ Charlie said, and the others nodded.

  ‘OK,’ they said.

  ‘OK,’ I said. ‘We’re doing this.’

  I pulled Johnny J aside. ‘We’re bringing the pepper spray, just in case any big burly grown men arrive,’ I said. He nodded. ‘I need your help getting it.’

  Sumo had a blackboard on a stand. I pulled it into the centre of the room and started writing a to-do list.

  TO-DO LIST

  Break into Rachel’s room and get pepper sprayfn1/NO PEPPER-SPRAYING GRANNIES. (Sumo insisted I write that.)

  Beg, borrow or steal football costumes (including face paint).

  Make sure bikes are oiled and chains are fixed.

  Steal cash from Jim Roland’s granny.

  Now it was time to talk about the plan. I cleared my throat and stood in front of my friends (and Charlie).

  ‘In three days’ time the Ireland match is due to start at 4 p.m. in the Stadio La Favorita in Palermo.’

  ‘My dad’s going to be at that,’ Walker said.

  No one cared. I wrote the date and time on the board. I didn’t write the venue or city as I had no idea how to spell them.

  ‘The match will play for minimum ninety minutes, plus fifteen minutes half-time. That means we have between 4 p.m. and 5.45 p.m. to rob the garage.’ Easy. We only needed five minutes. I wrote down ‘45 minutes to rob the garage’ for all to see. Charlie nodded. The boys looked concerned. I reviewed the board.

  THE PLAN

  3.30 p.m. Meet in the den and put on our football gear (including face paint).

  4.00 p.m. Grab the bags (stashed the night before) in the park.

  4.20 p.m. Cycle to Rolands’ Garage.

  4.30 p.m. Rob Jim Roland’s granny.

  4.35 p.m. Cycle to the forest and hide the money.

  4.45 p.m. Cycle to Cornally’s pub.

  5.00 p.m. Blend into the crowd at Cornally’s.

  I thought it was an excellent plan, but the boys were still quiet, so I wrote:

  JOB DONE. EASY. NO ONE HURT. JOHNNY J’S MAM SAVED.

  I underlined ‘Job done’ and ‘Johnny J’s mam saved’ for emphasis. Charlie nodded. The others still looked a little stunned.

  ‘Any questions?’ I asked.

  ‘I’ve two questions,’ Walker said.

  ‘OK.’

  ‘Can you hear yourself? And have you lost your mind??’

  ‘Yes, I can, and no, I haven’t. Any other questions?’

  Johnny J had a question. ‘What if something goes wrong?’

  ‘Good question. If anything goes wrong, scatter. Cycle in different directions, ditch your bikes, run to the nearest pub and blend in with the crowd.’ I was really pleased with that answer. I’d really thought it through.

  Walker put up his hand.

  ‘Yeah?’ I said.

  ‘I have asthma,’ he said, and we all stared at him.

  ‘Pubs are my enemy,’ he explained, and we ignored him. He put his hand down and fixed his glasses on his face, mumbling to himself about dying in prison.

  ‘What about the money? Where do we hide it?’ Charlie said.

  ‘In our place in the forest,’ I said.

  ‘Where’s that?’ she asked.

  ‘I’ll show you later,’ Johnny J said. I didn’t like her knowing our secret spot, but times were desperate.

  ‘So we scatter, drop the money off at the hiding place and then blend in with the crowd,’ she said.

  ‘Exactly,’ I said. It’s on the board, Miss Know-It-All.

  ‘OK,’ Walker said, and he held on to his big glasses and shook his head. ‘Madness …’ he mumbled to himself.

  Everyone took in the plan. They read and reread the board. I was scared and my stomach still hurt, but I felt proud. I had promised my best friend I’d come up with a solution to get his mam to America and I’d done that, and anyway, what could go wrong? Nothing. I genuinely believed that it was a perfect plan and everything would work out.fn2

  That evening, at home, I sat with my dad and we watched a post-match analysis of Yugoslavia v Colombia. I wasn’t really paying attention. I was thinking about my mam crying the night before. I wanted to tell her not to worry and that everything would be OK. But I couldn’t trust her not to blow her top. I couldn’t risk the operation.

  That night before I went to bed I told her I loved her. I didn’t really do it that often because, well, you know … it’s embarrassing, but I did it anyway and I gave her a hug. I got a fright when it looked like she’d cry again, and felt a little uncomfortable when she didn’t let go for a really long time, but when we pulled apart she was smiling.

  ‘I love you too, son. You’re such a good boy.’

  I went to bed hoping that she’d feel the same way after I’d robbed Rolands�
�� Garage.

  7

  The Key

  It was two days to the robbery and I woke up feeling scared and experiencing a constant flutter in my stomach, which put me off my food … But other than going hungry and having an unfortunate case of the runs, I really did feel good. It’s going to be fine. The first thing on my list was breaking into Rachel’s room for her pepper spray. I knew that the key had to be somewhere close so that if a fire did start in my sister’s empty room, my mam could race in there to put it out with one of her three fire blankets or four fire foam sprays.fn1 So I just needed to work out where my mam would hide the key to my sister’s room. She was out of the house and working a part-time job in the local supermarket, and Rich spent most of his free time rehearsing with his band in the garage. He’d told Mam he’d take care of me and then whispered in my ear that if I came anywhere near him or the shed he’d skin me alive.

  When Johnny J arrived, Rich and the band were caterwauling in the garage, giving us space and time to find the key. We checked everywhere – kitchen, sitting room, hall table. We searched high and low but we just couldn’t find it. Upstairs we tore through drawers (even my mam’s underwear drawer!).

  ‘Is this really necessary?’ Johnny J asked while standing behind me as I (painfully) sorted through my mam’s knickers.

  ‘She keeps all kinds of things in here,’ I said, pulling out her passport, a dog lead (we didn’t have a dog) and a spare TV remote control. ‘People put keys in drawers, don’t they?’

  ‘No, I mean the pepper spray,’ he said.

  ‘No one – not even an old lady – is just going to hand the cash over because we ask nicely,’ I said.

  Johnny J slumped to his knees. ‘I dunno,’ he said.

  I joined him on the floor. ‘What don’t you know?’

  ‘Robbing a place, it’s serious.’

  ‘So is losing your mam,’ I said, and he looked so sad my stomach turned upside down and for a second or two I thought I might vomit. When the feeling passed, I stood up and put my hand out. ‘Sorry,’ I mumbled. ‘I shouldn’t have said that.’