The Fearless Five

by Bannie McPartlin

‘Rich! Get out of there before I come up these stairs and murder the pair of you.’

  ‘Gotta go,’ he said. ‘Mam doesn’t want you infecting me with your badness.’ He chuckled to himself, before rising from my bed and walking to the door. I lifted the pillow.

  ‘Hey, Rich?’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Sorry about your black eyes.’

  ‘Don’t be, Esther Banbridge told me I was really brave.fn1 Before yesterday she didn’t know I existed.’

  ‘Nice one,’ I said, and I tried to smile but my face wouldn’t let me.

  Rich gave me the thumbs up and then he left me alone to think about what lay ahead.

  When I finally dragged myself out of bed and dared to leave the room, Rachel was waiting and gave me a hug on the landing.

  ‘I don’t know what’s going on, Jeremy, but I know you and you are good, so let’s make an agreement – you give up robbing and I’ll give up smoking,’ she said, and she smiled and I nodded. ‘Deal,’ she said.

  Rupert came out of Rich’s room. He was wearing his hair long like mine, except he didn’t have his in a ponytail. It was the first time I thought about cutting my hair.

  ‘Hey ho there, gunslinger,’ he said, and Rachel shook her head from side to side.

  ‘Not now, Rupert.’

  ‘I was only saying hello,’ he said. He kissed her forehead. ‘I take it now the package is safely returned we can leave?’ She smiled at him and nodded. ‘Good.’ He walked down the stairs.

  ‘What package?’ I said.

  ‘You,’ he said, and he laughed. ‘The Fearless Five – you couldn’t make it up.’

  I really didn’t like Rupert.

  48

  The Confession

  My parents didn’t speak to me over breakfast. They were following police orders. I could tell they were dying to know what happened. My mam fidgeted a lot. My dad pretended to read the newspaper. Rich sang to himself.

  No one spoke to me and I spoke to no one. Instead I did what Rich told me to do. I kept my head down.

  Johnny J and his Uncle Ted were in the police station when my dad and I arrived.

  ‘Hi, Johnny J,’ I said, but he ignored me.

  Dad pointed to a chair and I sat in it.

  ‘How’s Vanessa today, Ted?’ he said.

  ‘They’re talking about bringing her into the hospital.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ my dad said.

  ‘Thanks,’ Uncle Ted said.

  I stared at Johnny J. In my head I was pleading with him to look back at me, but he just sat facing the wall.

  Walker came in wearing a suit and tie and holding his mother’s hand. Charlie soon followed, but this time she was with her father. I’d seen her mam loads of times, going in and out of Johnny J’s house, taking care of Johnny J’s mam, but I’d never seen her dad close up before. He was a stocky build and he had a massive long red beard. He reminded me of Santa, if Santa wasn’t jolly at all.

  ‘Lads,’ he said to the men in the room. ‘Hello, Sheila.’

  ‘Hello, Declan,’ she said.

  ‘So which one of you little toerags is responsible for my daughter robbing a garage and van and running away from home?’ he said to us kids.

  ‘Ah now, come on, Declan. I’m sure it’s not like that,’ Uncle Ted said.

  ‘It certainly is,’ Declan Eastman said.

  ‘From what I hear, it’s that little girl who caused all of this,’ Sheila said.

  My head shot up. I was shocked. Why would Walker tell his mam that Charlie was the cause of all this when it was clearly my fault?!

  ‘Ah now, here,’ Declan Eastman said, and he stood up.

  Denis Brown stood up as well. He stood, arms folded, while Sheila Brown pointed in Declan Eastman’s face.

  ‘She’s not as saintly as she looks, so if you want to start pointing a finger, I’d start with pointing fingers at my own if I were you.’

  ‘Don’t you dare point at me, Sheila Brown.’

  ‘We weren’t supposed to question the kids,’ Dad said.

  ‘I’ll question my child when and where I want,’ Sheila Brown said without even looking at him.

  Walker played with his tie and sniffed. He had a big white plaster across his nose and a haunted look in his eye. He was exhausted and probably terrorised. I felt sorry for him. Sheila Brown could frighten a gladiator.

  ‘Now come on, everyone,’ Uncle Ted said. ‘Just calm down.’

  ‘Can we all be civil now?’ my dad said, and I could tell he was uncomfortable.

  The kids just sat there, mesmerised and half terrified by the adults fighting. Sheila and Denis Brown sat back down beside Walker. He kept his head low to avoid glares from Johnny J and Charlie. I was a little relieved I wasn’t the only one they were annoyed with. I tried to make eye contact with him but he refused to look my way. I began to wonder what all the others had told their parents. Why Sheila Brown thought Charlie was at fault. What did Walker say? Why would he blame her? It’s all down to me. This was my plan. I did this.

  Sumo and his parents arrived last. I thought maybe if any of my friends would forgive me Sumo would. I looked up at him, but he just shook his head from side to side and sat beside Johnny J. His parents didn’t say hello, they didn’t nod or wave, instead they just sat down and looked at the floor. It was unsettling to see Mary and Gerry Lane so low. Normally they were so friendly and chatty. I realised we probably wouldn’t be welcome in their son’s den any more. Gutted. Then again, even if the others were, I wouldn’t be. Nobody liked me now. Really gutted. Of course, that probably didn’t matter anyway, because I’d be locked up in a cell with Stab-a-Rasher. Really, really gutted.

  Everyone waited in the silence for a guard to come and tell us what was to happen next. My stomach twirled and swirled and I wondered whether or not I’d be sick. Can I be charged with vomiting in a police station? Is it illegal to vomit in a police station? Can they put me in a cell? If they do, I hope they give me a bucket.

  When Johnny J’s Auntie Alison swanned in, she wasn’t alone; she had a man with her. He wore an expensive suit and round spectacles and he carried a briefcase. I guessed he was a solicitor. He immediately went to the duty officer’s window. No one was there. He rang the bell.

  Johnny J’s Auntie Alison stood in the middle of the room looking around at everyone and it was clear she wasn’t impressed by what she saw. We all just stared at her like she was some kind of exotic animal until Uncle Ted stood up.

  ‘What are you doing here, Alison?’

  ‘My nephew’s in trouble, Ted.’

  ‘Who’s with Vanessa?’

  ‘I’ve hired a nurse.’

  ‘You shouldn’t be here,’ he said, and he looked upset.

  She ignored him. ‘Well, isn’t this just perfect?’ she said to everyone and no one. ‘It’s not like we don’t have enough problems.’

  ‘Auntie Alison …’ Johnny J said, but she put her hand up to stop him from speaking.

  ‘You’ve done enough, thank you, Johnny.’fn1

  ‘Leave the boy alone,’ Uncle Ted said.

  ‘Why not let him get away with robbery while his mother –’ She stopped herself, pursed her lips, took a deep breath and calmed herself. ‘He needs structure,’ she said. ‘Stability. Someone to teach him right from wrong.’

  ‘Don’t you dare …’ Ted said, and he looked really angry.

  ‘He’s coming with me, Ted,’ she said, and I looked over at Johnny J and his eyes were bulging to the point of bursting. He was genuinely scared. I was scared too. My stomach twisted into a knot. I might need that bucket. Charlie’s hand started to shake. I wanted to say something to her to make her feel OK, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t OK and she hated me.

  ‘You need to stop talking now,’ Uncle Ted warned Auntie Alison in a quiet but firm voice, and she stopped talking. Ted sat down.

  ‘Ted?’ Johnny J said, and his voice sounded weird, like it was broken.

  ‘It’s OK, Johnny J. You’re going now
here.’

  ‘Except maybe to prison,’ Auntie Alison said, under her breath, but everybody heard.

  ‘Ah now, hold on, there’s no need for that,’ my dad said.

  ‘There’s every need,’ she said. ‘They’re a bad influence.’ She pointed to Uncle Ted. ‘In fact, you’re a bad influence.’ I thought that was harsh. Uncle Ted hadn’t robbed any garages (that I knew of). Uncle Ted hung his head, but my dad stood up.

  ‘Ted Tulsi has been a father figure to that boy all his life. He’s one of the best men I know,’ he said. ‘I will not hear one word against him.’

  Mr Brown stood up and so did Mr Lane. Mr Eastman stood up and even Sheila Brown. Every adult in the room was on their feet and standing beside Uncle Ted, facing Auntie Alison down.

  I have no idea what they were planning next, but I was in a panic, so I stood up and I blurted out, ‘It wasn’t Johnny J. It wasn’t Uncle Ted or Charlie or Walker or Sumo. It was me! I made them do it!’ The whole room turned to stare at me and I thought I might faint. Just then two detectives walked out of a side door.

  ‘Fair enough, sunshine, we’ll start with you then.’

  Ah nuts!

  49

  The Interview

  My dad and I both swallowed hard and followed the detectives into a small grey room. We sat down opposite them.

  ‘He didn’t mean that,’ Dad said.

  ‘Did you?’ the older one with ear hair said.

  ‘It was me,’ I said, mesmerised by his ear hair.fn1

  ‘Stop saying that,’ Dad said.

  ‘Why don’t we take it from the start?’ the younger fella with fangs said.

  So I told them the story of the Fearless Five. I talked about Johnny J’s mam and how sick she was. I told them how the Irish medical system was failing her but the American one was brilliant.

  Detective Earhair looked at his notes. ‘Yes, a Mrs Shanley mentioned America in her statement.’

  ‘Who is Mrs Shanley?’ my dad asked.

  ‘Tulsi’s neighbour, old dear …’ Detective Earhair said.

  ‘Owner of approximately fifteen cats,’ Detective Fangs said.fn2

  ‘We just wanted to save her, and they can do that in America,’ I said, and my dad sighed deeply and grabbed my hand in his.

  ‘Who told you that?’ Detective Earhair asked.

  ‘Walker?’

  ‘Is that the little fella?’ he asked, looking at his notes.

  ‘He’s very smart,’ I said. I explained how he’d won the Young Scientist award for his older sister, but they weren’t interested in that.

  ‘Let’s stick to the robberies,’ Detective Earhair said.

  I talked them through the two robberies, the letter, the ticket, the escape and our time in Wexford. When I finished, my dad was flabbergasted.

  ‘You did all that for Mrs Tulsi?’ my dad asked.

  ‘And Johnny J,’ I said.

  ‘Ah, son,’ he said. ‘Ah now, isn’t that something?’ he said to the two men in front of him. He looked as if he wanted to cry or something. He squeezed my hand. He didn’t seem angry any more.

  ‘Yeah, it is,’ Detective Fangs said. ‘It’s robbery, aggravated assault and battery.’

  ‘Ah fair cop to the robbery, but who was assaulted and battered?’ my dad said.

  ‘They tied up a security guard, held him down and threatened him with pepper spray,’ Detective Fangs said.

  ‘Where did you get the pepper spray?’ Detective Earhair asked, and I looked at my dad and he went purple.

  ‘My wife got it in America,’ Dad said.

  ‘Do you know that’s illegal in Ireland, Mr Finn?’ Detective Fangs said to my dad.

  ‘Eh, no. We had no idea,’ my dad said. He’s a very bad liar.

  ‘Sorry, Dad.’

  ‘That’s OK, son.’

  ‘The assault and battery charges are also for locking Mrs Roland into the toilets.’

  ‘That’s hardly assault and battery!’ my dad said.

  ‘It’s OK, Dad,’ I said. ‘I’ll do my time.’

  ‘You will not. It’ll be all right, son. Your dad’s sorting this one.’ He winked at me and I was so relieved.

  ‘Thanks, Dad,’ I said, and a tear slid down my face. I swore I would stop crying after that day. If I escaped detention I’d be going into secondary school in September! Come on, Jeremy. Crying has to stop!

  ‘Where is this letter you say that Johnny J sent?’ Detective Earhair said.

  ‘I dunno. We posted it days ago.’

  ‘Get on that?’ he said to Detective Fangs, who nodded and took a note of it.

  ‘Jeremy, do you realise how serious this all is?’ Detective Earhair said.

  ‘I do,’ I said, and I was crying again.

  ‘Have you ever stolen before?’ he asked.

  ‘NEVER!’

  ‘Are you planning on stealing again?’

  ‘NEVER, EVER!’ I said.

  Detective Earhair nodded to himself and took some notes. ‘This is very serious,’ he said, and he shook his head sadly.

  I felt my stomach lurch, then my insides heat up and it came like a wave. I put my hands to my mouth and tried to hold it in, but the vomit slipped through my fingers and gushed onto the desk. Detective Fangs was up and out of his seat in a second. Detective Earhair didn’t move. He just sighed and looked at my horrified father.

  ‘Well, the good news is that this fella won’t make any kind of criminal. He doesn’t have the stomach for it.’

  My dad nodded and grabbed a hankie from his pocket and wiped vomit from his shoes.

  50

  The Caution

  They took everyone’s statement that day.

  Uncle Ted found the letter with the money and instructions to use the ticket and to get an American visa. The envelope had been in a huge pile of unopened post. Johnny J’s mam had been too sick for anyone in the Tulsi household to worry about opening letters, so it was just sitting there in a stack of paper, resting on the cushion of the bench beside the hall door. We could have stayed away the full two weeks and that letter would still probably never have been opened. We hadn’t thought about that! The guards took the letter as evidence for the DPP.fn1

  Later that evening we were cautioned (which means the police let us know in writing we’d done a very bad thing), but the good news was they were much nicer to us when they realised why we’d done the robberies. Detective Earhair described our reasons as altruistic, which means unselfish. My dad said altruistic described us perfectly. He said we should be known as the Altruistic Five.

  Sheila Brown wasn’t impressed. She didn’t care why we’d done it. She said it was stupid. It was a criminal act and it threatened her son’s future. She didn’t want Walker hanging around with us any more. She was glad he was going to a posh school for genius kids.

  Everyone else’s parents were really relieved. They chatted to one another.

  ‘Good intentions,’ Mrs Lane said with a sigh.

  ‘Ah, great intentions,’ Mr Eastman said.

  ‘God love them, the very best of intentions,’ my dad said.

  Uncle Ted couldn’t talk. He was too emotional. He was red-faced and biting his lip hard, but he held on to Johnny J and ruffled his hair a lot.

  Mr Brown was nodding along with everyone until Mrs Brown gave him a belt. ‘Good intentions, my eye,’ Mrs Brown said. Then she turned to Walker. ‘How can an intelligent boy like you be so stupid?’

  ‘Bad influence,’ Auntie Alison said, and then she and her solicitor were escorted into the back room to talk business with the police, leaving our proud and relieved parents a little stunned.

  ‘That’s a cold woman,’ my dad said, and Uncle Ted nodded.

  ‘She wasn’t always like that,’ he mumbled. Then he ruffled Johnny J’s hair again and hugged him tight against his chest. ‘Let’s go home, Johnny J. Your mammy is waiting.’

  Before they could move, Auntie Alison’s solicitor appeared in the doorway. ‘Johnny, could we see you i
n here for a minute or two?’ Johnny J looked to Uncle Ted for guidance. ‘It will only take a short time, I promise,’ the man said. He smiled at Uncle Ted. ‘I’ll take care of him.’

  Uncle Ted nodded. ‘I’ll wait in the car,’ he said.

  Mrs Lane gave me a hug in the car park and told me I’d be welcome in their den anytime. Sumo wasn’t talking to me though, so she was probably wrong about that.

  I got into the front passenger seat of the car. Johnny J was still inside the police station with his Auntie Alison. I wondered what was happening to him. My dad had forgotten his jacket in the station so he left me waiting in the car. Uncle Ted saw me alone and came and sat in behind the wheel of my dad’s car.

  ‘Hiya, Jeremy,’ he said.

  ‘Hiya, Uncle Ted.’

  He grinned at me. ‘So it was your plan?’

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘Nah, don’t be. You didn’t want to give up on Johnny J’s mammy. You thought you could do something to save her. What you all did was very wrong, but I want you to know that I think you’ve a big heart and I’m proud to know you.’

  He put out his hand to shake mine. I shook it. He was smiling at me but he looked very sad.

  ‘Do you think Johnny J will ever forgive me?’ I asked Uncle Ted.

  ‘For what?’

  ‘Jimbo said I needed to bring Johnny J home.’

  ‘Jimbo was right.’

  ‘Johnny J thinks I gave us up.’

  ‘Johnny J is going through a very hard time and he’s angry and scared, that’s all.’

  ‘So he’ll forgive me?’

  ‘He will.’

  ‘OK.’

  Ted stood out of the car.

  ‘Uncle Ted?’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Will Johnny J’s mam die soon?’ I asked.

  ‘Yeah, son, she will,’ he said, and his voice trembled a little and he blinked hard.

  ‘I’m really sorry.’

  ‘Me too,’ he said, and he gave me a sad smile.

  ‘Will Auntie Alison take Johnny J away from us?’

  ‘Not as long as there is breath in my body,’ Uncle Ted said.

  ‘Really?’ I said, and my heart soared a little in my chest.