She sat down next to me on my bed. Her sleep deprived eyes glanced over at my cell phone that lay turned off on my desktop. “Max, I wanted to apologize for the way things ended last night.”
Trying not to yawn, “You have nothing to apologize for,” I said.
“Yes, I do.” Sam leaned into me slightly, but she felt far away. “After the amazing day we spent lost in the hidden forest of bamboo, after everything you told me…”
“What is it, Sam?”
“We’re moving. Madison and I are going to Seattle with Kai.” Sam wiped away a small tear on the edge of her cheek, and my world started to slow down, again. A rush of images and words seized my brain, bringing with it a morning headache. All of them of Sam and I. All of them vivid and true. A million questions danced around my skull, but I settled with the easiest one to get out at the moment.
Holding Madi closer to me, I asked, “Why?”
“Max…” she tried to stall.
“Sam, please, why do you have to leave?”
“Gravity.”
“Huh?” I whispered.
“With you Max there is no ground, nowhere for my toes to grasp. There is only the sky. There is only the soaring truth of your love. Our love. You make me feel like I’m flying…” Sam paused.
“And that’s bad?” I pushed.
“It is when I fall back to earth.” Her green eyes dared me to look away from them. I couldn’t. She continued, slowly. “Gravity, Max. Our love is like gravity. No matter how high we fly together, we will come crashing back down. Well, I crash…you have a safety net,” she scolded, firmly. I assumed she meant Asia. I choked down a fresh lump in my throat and inhaled a quick hint of my daughter’s settling smell.
“Safety nets,” I repeated, without realizing I had said it.
“I can’t keep crashing, Max. It’s killing me.”
Sam started to cry and stood up slowly. I watched her hard, holding Madi as tightly as I could without hurting her. Her warm heat filled my arms and chest with safety.
“There has to be something we can do to figure this out. There has to be an answer,” I pleaded.
“There is,” she agreed, turning from me. “For me to leave this island and spend my life with the second greatest love of my life…Kai.”
Ouch, that felt like a flamethrower to the heart. My temper quickly showed up.
“You love him?”
“Yes.”
“But not like me. No one can love you like I do. Our love is real, Sam,” I almost cursed at her. She turned and looked at me upset by my words.
With a new resolve in her voice, she spoke calmly, “Sometimes, that’s just not enough.”
“But…” I started to say.
“We leave tomorrow on the last flight in the evening. I came here this morning to let you have the day with Madison. Tomorrow, we start our new lives.” Sam walked out of my room and I chased after her with Madi in my grip.
“Sam…please…”
“Don’t worry, you’ll still get to see Madison on some of the holidays, and I’m sure she’ll love her summers with her dad on the island…” her voice fell away. She was sobbing. I stepped close enough to reach out and touch her, but she darted out the front door of the house and ran to her car. I watched her through the living room window as she started up her car and drove away. If it hadn’t been for my daughter in my arms, I would have fell over in pieces.
“Sam,” I sighed. It finally happened. I had spent too much time running in circles, chasing my burning heart. Sam made the decision that I could never seem to do.
She chose Kai.
The rest of the morning went by slowly with my emotions in a fog. Madison kept me busy though, running and playing hide and seek, her favorite game. Though, she wasn’t very good at it. Everywhere she hid she would reveal with her sweet giggle. I made her lunch, a bottle of milk and applesauce. She decided to wear most of it on her lips and cheeks. A bath and a song followed. Then I sang for her with my acoustic guitar and she spun in little circles with her arms up in the air to keep her balance. It made me love her even more and I wasn’t sure how I would get through life without her by my side. I continued to play music for her no matter how depressed it was making me. I played one final song, a song I had written especially for her, even though it took everything I had left emotionally to do it. My world was crashing around me, but I couldn’t let Madi see my sorrow. Not now. Not with what little time I had left with her.
Thankfully, my mother joined me halfway through the day. Sam had given her the heads up on the move and my mother made a point to be with her granddaughter as much as possible this final visit. For once, I was happy my mother was here. At one point, the heaviness of the situation had gotten the best of me and I came crashing down to earth. Gravity, as Sam put it, was a bitch. My mother held Madi until she fell asleep for a nap while I tried to collect myself in the backyard. I wouldn’t had made it through the night without her.
Sitting at the old weathered bench under some trees, I stared at my uncle’s old barbecue grill and missed him something awful.
“Uncle, what the hell do I do now?” I asked it. The wind stirred inside the gated yard and I let the smell of the air calm me. With my eyes closed I inhaled a long breath. When I opened my eyes back up, Frank was there. Sitting directly across from me on the bench.
“Aloha, Son,” he said, gleefully.
“Uncle?” I spoke winded.
“How’s it going?”
“Sam and Madi are leaving,” I mumbled. My uncle’s ghost settled into the seat and took a moment before speaking again.
“Well, that kinda sucks.” He smiled. Leave it to Uncle Frank to put it that way.
“It sure does.”
“What can I do to help?”
“Umm…I don’t know, you’re kinda dead,” I teased. A smile almost made it to my lips too.
“Ha, ha, ha, ha,”he chuckled and slapped the table with his hand.“I’ve missed your jokes, Max.”
“I miss you too, Uncle.” I let out a sigh and placed my head on the table. “How come you only show up when I’m dealing with the impossible?”
“Because that’s when you need me the most,” he chuckled. His silhouette began to fade and it made me lurch back up, quickly.
“Are you leaving already? But, I need you. I need your guidance,” I begged, as he started to vanish.
“Trust the pain…”he reminded me again.Ugh! I was so sick of hearing that.
“Trust her.”
“Who?” I screamed out, but it was too late. Frank faded to nothing before my eyes and I slammed my fist on the table in frustration. Suddenly, I noticed that the sun was setting and I had spent the entire afternoon outside. Where had the time gone? Was I going insane?
The wind blew harder and carried along with it one final message from my uncle…
“The signs are everywhere.”
“Great,” I scolded myself. Jumping up, I ran back inside and found my mother waiting in the kitchen for me. She looked worried but relieved.
“Good, you’re awake.” She smiled.
“Awake? You mean I fell asleep?” I asked, confused.
“Yes. For the last couple hours. I was going to wake you up, but I figured you needed the rest. I know you had a stressful morning,” she said.
“Oh, you know about that, huh?”
“Samantha filled me in yesterday morning about the move. I’m sorry, Max. I really am,” she said cautiously, waiting for me to get upset with her.
Giving her as much of a smile as I could muster, I looked toward the house. “How’s Madi?”
“She’s still sleeping.”
“She is?”
“Like father, like daughter,” she laughed.
It brought a much needed laugh to my chest. I took a moment and watched my mother while a fresh headache began to push at my temples. Without even thinking about it, I walked up to her and placed a kiss on her forehead and squeezed her with one arm.
; “Thanks…Mom…”
She froze, and placed a hand over her chest. “Anytime, Max.” Her smile was massive and she placed a hand on my forearm.
“Do you have any aspirin? I feel a migraine coming on and I’d prefer to spend the last few hours with Madi in the least amount of pain as possible,” I said, rubbing the back of my head with one hand.
“Of course, in my purse…over there, on the counter,” she said, pointing behind me. Madi called from my room as she awoke from her slumber. My mother was right, we were just like one another. My mother excused herself to check on Madi while I turned to the counter and found the small white bottle of pills. With a quick gulp, I dry-swallowed two pills and winced as they went down. When I placed the bottle back in her purse I noticed that the purse was resting on top of a pad of paper with a message on it. It was Sam’s handwriting.
“Oh my God…” I grumbled, and picked up the pad of paper. It read…
——————————————
Detective Steele called.
Please return her call
at 555-1836
Sam
——————————————
My heart stopped and my head thundered with fresh pain. Trust the pain, I thought. Was this a sign? I ripped the piece of paper from the pad and stuck it in my back pocket. Just then Madi stumbled into the kitchen with a crinkled blanket in her arms and her hair a mess of curls.
“Dada!” she squealed. I picked her up, ignoring the throbbing headache and kissed her on the lips.
“Aloha, beautiful!” I said. She tucked her arms under my chin and kissed me back. When she did, the pain in my head subsided. Her gift was growing stronger by the day.
“Dada sing,” she demanded. I hugged her quick and walked into the living room.
“Anything for you. Now, where did I leave my guitar?”
Waiting for me on the couch was my guitar, but it wasn’t alone. Kai sat upright with it slid in-between his hands and he quietly strummed a chord with one hand.
“Kai…”
“Hey, Bro.”
“What are you doing here?” I asked, but I already knew the answer.
“I’m here to pick up Madi,” he said, politely. “Sam asked me to pick her up.”
“Oh,” I said, defeated. Obviously, Sam didn’t want to see me. Madi slipped from my grasp and her feet gently touched the floor.
Setting my guitar to the side, Kai asked, “So, Sam talked to you this morning, about Seattle?”
“You already know the answer to that,” I cursed.
He stood up slowly. “This isn’t goodbye, Max, you’ll get to see Madison whenever you want,” he dared to say.
I stepped into him and snatched my guitar pick from his fingers. “Lucky me.”
As my mother joined us in the living room, she quickly grabbed Madi into her arms. “Max, not in front of you-know-who,” she pleaded, nodding toward me.
My hands felt hot with anger, but before I could do anything with it, Madi spoke up.
“Dada sing!” She clapped her hands together excited.
Kai and I exchanged worried glances.
“Maybe next time, Madi…” I began to say.
She clapped her hands together again in protest. “Dada sing. Dada and Kai sing!” Her tiny voice could barely say Dada, but Kai rolled off her lips with ease. I guess technically it was much easier to say than Dada, but it still hurt.
“Not tonight, Madi,” Kai said, softly. Her face fell upset.
“Peez…” she begged. It was possibly the best thing I had ever heard, my daughter talking. I knelt down and placed a hand on her cheek and she lit up again. “Peez, Dada?”
My mother looked at me with big worried eyes. I took a deep breath and found Kai’s nervous face.
“What do you say, old friend, one last concert?” I smiled, giving in. He looked down at Madi and then, back at me and grinned.
“Maybe one song.”
We played for the next hour, singing a handful of songs we used to play in our old high school rock band. It brought back a rush of wild and fun memories. I loved our band, KID EGO. I loved our music. But most of all, I loved performing with my best friend. When we finished the last song, Madi stretched her arms in the air and yawned.
With a tug at my mother’s shirt, she announced, “Hungry.” My mother looked at the clock and shook her head.
“It’s almost her dinner time, boys.”
Kai and I exchanged another stare before speaking up.
“I guess I better get you home, little one. Mommy’s going to be worried,” Kai whispered down to Madi. It felt like another kick to the stomach.
“Mama!” she cheered. She quickly ran into Kai’s arms. The sight was almost more than I could bear. Kai quickly gathered Madi’s things in a bag and I ran to my room in a fit. My mother reached for me, but I pulled away from her. Seconds later I returned to the room just as Kai was heading out the front door.
“Kai, wait!” I called out. He turned to me with Madi’s bag tucked under his arm and his other hand holding Madi’s tiny fist as she stood next to him waiting.
“You decide to say goodbye after all?” he asked with a tone. I ignored him and fell to my knees in front of Madi. From behind my back I removed a small trinket. A silver necklace with two tiny theatre masks, one on each side of the charm, that spun within an oval circle. One side had a smiling face and the other had a mask with a frown. It belonged to her mom once. Sam had given it to me when she knew I needed it most. I considered it a symbol of truth. Something to remind me to always believe in your art. It made me stronger. I hoped it would do the same for Madi. Her bright eyes locked onto the gift as it spun before her face. She smiled uncontrollably and I gently placed it around her neck. It fell along her shirt, almost down to her bellybutton. Her fingers quickly found it and she lit up.
“Remember, Daddy will always be here for you…never forget that,” I whispered. I knew she was too young to understand, but I said it anyway. Kai heard me and he had to look away. I assumed from a fresh case of guilt. I kissed her again and gave her a soft hug.
She kissed my forehead and said, “Bye, bye, Dada.”
NINETEEN: SAY GOODBYE
~ Take A Bow: Madonna ~
Friday morning - 10:45 a.m. - January 6th
After another impossible night of nightmares and heartache, I made my way to Detective Steele’s house. I called her office first thing in the morning and they said she had taken the day off. I had to talk to her. She must have had some kind of answers for me about my uncle. The note yesterday had to be more than just coincidence. As I pulled up to her small apartment complex, she greeted me with a wave from the second floor balcony. It was as if she knew I was coming.
“Detective, can we talk?” I called up to her. She nodded, yes.
“It’s about time, Valentine, I’ve been waiting all morning for you,” she said, with a wave.
“Really?” I mumbled. Quickly, I made my way inside the complex and found her apartment door wide open for me. Detective Steele met me with a large smile and a glass of ice water.
As I took the glass in my hand, she said, “What kept you, Max?”
“You were expecting me?” I asked dumbfounded. She laughed softly. “How did you know I would be coming over this morning?”
She leaned into me and whispered, “Let’s just say, you’re not the only one he visits…”
Boom. Mind blown. Was she seeing the ghost of my uncle too? I guess that made sense, she was in his heart as well. Before I could ponder the question any longer she closed the front door with a slam and pulled me out on her cozy balcony. I removed the note from my back pocket and held it up to her eyes.
“Why am I here, Detective?”
“Call me Kris.”
“Please, Kris, what’s going on?” I asked, wearily.
She took the paper in her hands and studied the handwriting on it. “Samantha Summers…your uncle always liked her.”
Remembering all the times Uncle Frank tried to fix Sam and I up on dates, I let a painful grin out. “That’s an understatement.”
“But you’re not here for that, are you?”
“Honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing here.” I rested up against the railing and sighed. “Answers, I guess. Maybe some advice. Maybe have you arrest me again so I could hide away in some prison cell.”
With a stern smack to the back of my head, she shouted, “Snap out of it, Valentine!”
“What the…” I winced.
“Frank didn’t let you talk like that around him, and you’re not going to do it around me.” She pulled a thick white envelope from behind her and handed it to me. In Frank’s sloppy handwriting was two words, FOR MAX.
“What is this?” I choked. Seeing my name written across the envelope rattled me to my core. Waves of heat rolled along my cheeks and lips. Kris noticed the change in temperature but said nothing about it. Instead, she pushed the envelope closer to my hands.
“Here…take it.”
Gripping it slowly, I said, “Is this from Frank?”
“You know the answer to that…yes, of course. You didn’t think he’d leave this world without some kind of backup plan for his beloved nephew?” she teased, with a nudge of her elbow.
My hands trembled around the seams of the package, examining it slowly with my fingertips. Looking up at her, I dared to ask, “Can I open it?”
“Not here,” she ordered. Her eyes fell stern and cold.
“Why not?”
“He left me a package too, and when I opened mine, I wasn’t ready for it. You open your gift when you’re ready,” she said, uneasy.
“When is that?”
“You’ll know…trust me,” she nodded.
Nervously, I asked, “What was in yours?”
“That’s for me to know. Me only.”
Surveying the breaking features of her face I could see just how much Frank meant to her. Politely, I inquired, “That’s how you knew about me and my special abilities, right?”
“I know everything, Max.” She turned and sat on the nearest chair, pulling her tangled red hair into a small ponytail. “I know your entire story. I know your pain, your regrets, your triumphs…your strength.”
In Embers (The Ember Series Book 3) Page 11