Thirteen Rising
Page 11
When the healer looks at him, she freezes like a prisoner in The Bellow whose mobility has been suspended. “I—I—sorry, I mean no, I mean thank you!”
Her face looks radioactive, but Hysan gallantly pretends not to notice the effect he’s having on her. “Let me introduce you to some friends,” he says, and as Valea trades the hand touch with Mathias and Pandora, I watch Gamba step into the Everblaze.
Tendrils of fire reach up and engulf her brown robe until she’s barely visible through the black flames. I count off the seconds, but when I get to thirty, she’s still inside. I haven’t seen anyone endure it that long.
When she finally reappears, she looks pallid and out of breath, and I wonder if she Saw anything.
She turns to me suddenly, like she feels my stare, and we hold each other’s gaze as she walks over to where I’m standing. “Wandering Star. May I have a word?”
I hand off my untouched drink to Valea, and I don’t offer her or my friends any explanation as I follow Gamba to the tree line where the forest grows denser. Once the music from the party sounds faint, she stops walking and asks, “So what’s the plan to save our mother?”
“Tell me about her.”
Her troubled expression slackens, like she’s taken aback by the question. “About Mom?” I nod. “What do you want to know?”
“What was she like with you?”
“Insightful. Tough. Protective.” She recites adjectives like she’s reading a report, not describing a beloved parent. “Honest—”
“Honest?” I almost laugh.
“She told me everything. She was my mother by choice, not chance.”
Even though the subject we’re discussing couldn’t be more personal, she still speaks in even, measured phrases, like this is an intellectual exercise. And I feel like in this girl I’m seeing who I might have become if Mom had raised me.
“What’s everything?” I challenge.
“I know her mom was an imbalanced Riser, and she had to fight her for her freedom. I know the night she ran away from her childhood home was the first time she Saw herself Rising. I know that to this day she doesn’t know her mother’s fate.”
I try to interrupt, but my brain feels frozen, like my thoughts can’t move beyond this moment. Gamba goes on, and I have no idea if she’s aware of how much her words are affecting me because I’m not sure she’s capable of comprehending emotions.
If she did have feelings once, Mom drilled them out of her.
“I also know that she was always going to abandon you and your brother and your dad. To protect you, in case she turned out to be too much like her own mother.”
I can hardly breathe, much less respond. Mom trusted her.
Gamba chose Mom, and Mom chose her back.
“She’s your mother,” I say at last. “You save her.”
• • •
The music grows louder as I walk away from Gamba, and I dig my hand under my robe’s neckline and activate the Veil collar.
I have to force myself to wall off thoughts of my dysfunctional family so I can focus on tonight. I can’t let my mother derail me anymore—Gamba can worry about rescuing her. After all, she’s the daughter Kassandra wanted.
When I return to the party, people’s guards are down, but there’s still tension in the air. Everyone is too ready to switch into Zodai mode at the first sign of trouble. I spy Skarlet in the crowd chugging drinks with a couple of male Majors, and my lip curls—the perfect fuse to set off.
As I make my way over, I nearly topple into Mathias and Pandora, who are filling their plates with food. “I think that’s enough, thanks,” says Pandora as Mathias keeps piling her plate with desserts.
“Don’t be shy,” he says, adding yet another chocolate treat to her teetering stack. “I saw what you put away after last night’s meeting.”
Pandora’s eyes grow so large that they’re practically bulging out of her head. “What do you mean by that?”
“Just that you have a weakness for sweet things,” he says, popping a star-shaped candy into his mouth.
“And you’re enabling my addiction.”
“Or,” he says, leaning in, “maybe I just want to give you everything you want.”
Fire rushes to her pale cheeks, but to her credit, she keeps her composure. “How . . . how do you think Rho is doing?”
Mathias’s brow furrows down and his lightheartedness is replaced with something heavier. I could slap Pandora for ruining her own moment by bringing me up.
“I don’t think even she realizes how much she’s suffering,” he says. “She’s protecting herself from fully feeling the loss of her brother. And she’s only making it worse for herself when she finally confronts her pain.”
I bite my inner cheek so I won’t scream.
Mathias hasn’t mentioned Nishi once.
“Do you remember when Corinthe tried using me to get you to denounce Rho?” whispers Pandora, and my breathing stalls.
Mathias doesn’t answer, but the color drains from his features, making his dark blue eyes stand out even more.
“Afterwards,” she goes on, “while you were setting my shoulders back in place, you told me a story to distract me from the pain. It was about a boy who was in love with a girl he knew he could never have, and yet every day, he woke up and watched her. Even though he knew the more he watched, the harder he’d fall, and the more he’d hurt . . . he couldn’t help himself.
“You said pain is one of the side effects of love—we can’t feel one without suffering the other.”
He nods, just barely, and murmurs, “I remember.”
“Rho loved her brother more than most people will ever love anyone,” she says, her voice feathery soft. “I don’t think she’s pushing away her pain. I think she’s drowning in it.”
I walk away before I can hear more, and once I’m close to Skarlet I deactivate my Veil. While waiting for her to finish another round of chugging, I scan the crowd and spot Hysan. He’s speaking with a group of people, but he keeps lifting his gaze, like he’s searching for someone. He’s not going to let me go.
“He’s a great kisser, isn’t he?”
I turn to see Skarlet, her smile sloppy and her face shiny. She seems delighted to have caught me off guard, which works for me—if she thinks she got under my skin, that’s all the pretext I need to get under hers.
“Maybe you should quit drooling over Hysan and start spending your time on the people of your own House,” I say, raising my voice so the nearest Zodai—two Ariean Majors, a Taurian Promisary, and a Leonine Lionheart—can hear me.
“What in Helios is that supposed to mean?” she asks, slurring her words slightly.
“It means your Zodai have this amazing life on this planet, but I’ve been to Phaetonis, and I’ve seen how the rest of your people live. In shacks, surrounded by the smell of death and decay—did you not think they might appreciate a place like this?”
“Who do you think built the train system and the Hippodrome and all that stuff on Phaetonis?” she demands, and a Strident from Scorpio and a Minister from Virgo come closer, intrigued by the conversation. “The Majors have tried to promote diplomacy for resolving conflicts, but our people have always preferred war. We’re fiery tempered, and we need to let off steam often. It’s just our nature!”
I shake my head sadly. “The other Houses used to feel sorry for you. How you’re one of the poorest Houses, how your Zodai were exiled from governance, how your Guardian was under house arrest—and yet all this time, you’ve been in control behind the scenes, living in this paradise. I guess no world is what it seems.”
“It is pretty selfish,” injects the Taurian. “I mean, your people are dirt poor, and you’ve just abandoned them—”
“She’s right, though! Arieans are all hotheaded,” argues the Scorp. “You can’t help them if they don
’t help themselves.”
“Who the hell are you calling hotheaded, you ugly arachnid?” asks a burly male Major.
The whole group dissolves into a rowdy argument, and now that I’ve kindled the flame, I let the people around me fan it—helped along by all the alcohol, of course—until most of the party is embroiled in debate. I activate my Veil, but before making my way up to the mountain I turn toward the Everblaze.
All the noise evaporates as I step into its black flames.
The fire crackles around me as it tickles my skin, and I close my eyes. I access my Center and start numbering the seconds, until I’m buzzing too hard to keep count. My Ring starts to burn, and blood begins to boil in my veins, but the heat feels good. Even as it scorches my organs and destroys my insides, I don’t mind, because it’s a change from the numbness.
Let it burn and consume all I am. . . .
Except it if does, who will save Nishi?
Without Deke or me, who will care enough to go after her?
The fire has become so painful that I can’t move my feet. I would scream if I could summon my voice, but my lungs are gone, too, and my knee joints give out until I drop to the grass.
I’m dying and I’m invisible, and no one will find me.
I think only of Nishi as I feel myself fall, only the drop isn’t physical—I’m descending to an even deeper Center. Light blasts through the darkness of my mind, until I See a familiar wizened face, her skin so wrinkled it looks sun-dried.
Moira?
The vision vanishes, and the Psynergy chokes me until I’m gagging. I claw at the ground, digging my nails into the grass as I drag myself forward.
The sound blasts back on when at last I make it out.
People are still partying, none of them aware that I’m dying at their feet. I curl into a fetal position, taking in raking breaths until the cool air finally reaches my lungs. And by the time I stand up, all the effects of the fire have worn off, healing as swiftly as Ochus’s Psynergy wounds.
Breathless and invisible, I climb uphill into the woods, away from the party and toward the hulking mountain. When I’m at the edge of the tree line, far from the wasted crowd, I turn back to take one last look at the world I’m leaving behind.
And that’s when Hysan unVeils before me.
16
HIS EYES ARE DARK AND EXPLOSIVE.
“Did you really think I wouldn’t know?” asks Hysan as he deactivates my invisibility. He must have unlinked our collars so I wouldn’t see him tailing me. A medley of emotions swirls in his green-gold irises, and I know he’s already read everything on my face. All the secrets I thought I’d been so carefully concealing.
“So because you’ve lost loved ones, it’s over?” he goes on, as a chilly breeze blows between us. “What about everyone else who’s lost family and friends to this war? Are their sacrifices less meaningful than yours?”
“And what would you know about losing a loved one?” I ask, and it’s almost a snarl. “You have no family, and you’ve never been honest enough to have a real friend. You’ve never had anyone to lose.”
His eyes grow round with disbelief, but they quickly revert to their normal size as he reins in his emotions. It’s so easy for him to bypass his heart; he doesn’t care that abandoning Nishi is killing me because he can’t possibly understand the pain I’m going through.
“So your solution is to turn your back on all of humanity?” he asks tonelessly. “To save Nishi you’ll damn us all? That’s how you’ll honor your brother and your father’s sacrifices?”
I don’t feel the sting of his words because they’re not true—but I’m not surprised to learn that’s what he’s thinking. It’s almost liberating to hear the truth from him for once. “If you really believe I would damn you all, then you’ve never known me.”
I used to think Mathias was the one who had no faith in me, but now I see how naïve I was. Hysan was only ever fine following my lead if I was doing what he wanted. This whole time he’s never trusted anyone but himself.
A dozen Ariean Majors and Libran Knights suddenly march out from the trees and encircle us, and I realize Hysan must have been hailing them through the Psy. They’re armed and in uniform, and they came so quickly that there’s no doubt Pandora was right—Hysan already knew I’d make my move tonight.
“Rho is trying to breach The Bellow to break out Ophiuchus and take him to Aquarius,” says Hysan, his voice hard and unforgiving. I flash back to the Hysan I met in the Sumber, the one who plunged a knife in my chest, and I’m not sure which one I’m seeing anymore.
“She’s not herself right now and needs to be seen by healers.”
I can’t believe I ever thought I loved him. Darkness fills every part of me, feeding the barricade of numbness protecting me from my feelings until it grows thick enough to completely separate my words from my body.
Until my mouth is no longer connected to my heart.
Until my voice is a weapon.
“Nice try, Hysan.”
I don’t sound angry or afraid; I sound somber and sad, like a disappointed parent. “No one—including General Eurek or Lord Neith—is going to believe I would ever free my sworn enemy, the destroyer of my world, the monster I gave up everything to pursue.”
I take a measured step toward him, and the Zodai around us fidget like they’re not sure what to do. “The real question is,” I say softly, “why were you about to free him?”
Hysan is so shocked by my accusation that it takes him a few seconds to respond—enough time to cast doubt on his innocence.
“If that were true, why would I call for reinforcements?” he asks, his voice hoarse. “Why did I ask this team of Zodai to be on guard tonight?”
“Because you knew I was on to you,” I say, still speaking in the calm voice of authority that I’ve heard him use so many times. “But I’m not going to let you get away with this.”
Hysan’s whole face goes slack, like his brain has suddenly stopped producing thoughts. “Rho . . . you’re lying.”
“I’m lying?” I ask incredulously. “I have no secrets! I’m the Wandering Star—everyone across the Zodiac knows everything about me. But who are you?”
Hysan’s glassy eyes widen with horror, but I don’t stop there.
“Where is Lord Neith?” I press. “Why hasn’t anyone seen him?”
Most of the Knights turn toward Hysan, and from their suspicious reactions it’s clear they’ve already been discussing this amongst themselves. But rather than try to protect his secret, Hysan just stares at me, openmouthed yet speechless—like for the first time in his life he’s been outplayed.
“I believe Hysan Dax has done something to the Guardian of Libra,” I announce, looking to the Ariean and Libran Zodai, “and now he’s trying to escape with Ophiuchus. Please hold him for the night, and tomorrow morning Eurek and I will question him. No need to ruin everyone’s one night off.”
The nearest Major cuffs Hysan’s wrists, and his golden face betrays no emotion as he’s flanked on all sides; he just keeps staring at me in disbelief.
“And for the record,” I add, forcing myself to meet his gaze, “Cancrians don’t lie.”
Light footsteps approach, and a girl in a purple robe creeps out from the tree line, looking paler than usual.
“Pandora!” Hysan seems to come alive at the sight of her, and he starts struggling against the Majors who are trying to march him away. “Please—tell Mathias Rho was trying to break out Ophiuchus! She’s not well. She needs help!”
Her astonished gaze jumps from Hysan to me, her orb-like eyes glowing like stars.
“Pandora—” I start, but she rushes back into the woods before I can explain myself.
I glower at Hysan as the Zodai march him away, and he watches me the whole time. Once he’s completely out of view, Pandora steps out from the trees. “Are you
good from here?”
Her voice quivers, and I wonder if she’s going to sell me out the moment I turn my back.
“Why are you helping me?” I ask.
She takes my hand in her cold one, and her hold is firm and unwavering. “Same reason you’re going after Nishi. . . . It’s just what friends do for each other.”
Her loyalty kindles too much warmth in my chest, and I squeeze her hand before dropping it. “Can you just make sure they let him out by morning?”
She nods. “I’ll tell Mathias everything at sunrise. He’ll sort it out.”
“Thanks, Pandora. Stay safe.”
I activate my Veil as she bows. “Good fortune, Wandering Star.”
• • •
I copy everything I saw Skarlet do to enter the mountain and access The Bellow.
Once I’m standing before the wall of Black Truth, I let my silky white robe fall to the ground, and I stay in my blue Lodestar suit. I put away my Ring so Mathias and the others can’t contact me, and then I pull out one of the trinkets I stuffed in my pocket—my only hope for getting into the prison: the turquoise Psy shield Hysan gave me as a birthday present at the Libran embassy.
Until the armada no one but Hysan knew of the existence of Psy shields. And as there’s been so much going on since then—and given that the Ariean shields were sabotaged—I doubt the Majors have had time to anticipate this loophole.
This crab-shaped, cristobalite-bead brooch must be one of the few functional Psy shields in existence, since it was created by Hysan himself. I activate it and clutch the crab to my chest as I cross the black flames, bracing myself for more pain, or for an alarm, or for the stars themselves to strike me down.
But nothing happens. The fire doesn’t even tickle.
It worked.
I invisibly walk through the prison’s passages, following the map I memorized to find my way to Ophiuchus’s cell. There are fewer guards than last time, and they’ve all been drinking. No one has ever broken out of The Bellow in the history of its existence, so why should they sense any threat?