Utterly Forgettable

by RB Hilliard

  “And?”

  “She looked like she was about to bolt, so I did it for her. I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life.”

  Hunter’s jaw dropped. After a minute or so, he shook his head and said, “Fuuuuuuuck, Zane. Blake is going to kill you.”

  Fuck was right.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Cathryn

  ‡

  Why did I pause? Why didn’t I tell Zane I was in love with him and that I believed him? I was crying too hard to see the road in front of me, so I pulled over and tried to get a handle on my emotions. The hurt on Zane’s face when I told him it didn’t matter what he said because I wouldn’t believe him anyway, was burned into my heart. How could I say that to him? How? The thought of going home to my empty apartment, which now held a thousand memories of Zane, was too much. Where do I go? What do I do? The only person I could think to turn to was Blake. God, Blake. He was going to be so angry with me. I’ll just have to make him understand. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I turned the car around and headed in the direction of Blake’s townhouse.

  Relief rushed through me when I spotted his truck parked in front of his place. I pulled in next to it and turned off the ignition. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say but it didn’t really matter. I just needed someone to tell me it was going to be alright. It took me a few minutes to gather enough courage to get out of my car. By the time I made it to his front door the tears were falling again. After one knock, Blake answered. He took one look at my tear streaked face and flipped out.

  “Who hurt you?”

  “I hurt myself,” I sobbed.

  “Shhhh,” he said, and pulled me into his arms. He let me cry for a minute or two and then walked me through the door and into the living room. “Coffee or liquor?” he asked.

  “Both,” I sniffled. He turned for the kitchen, and I called after him, “You might want one, too, Blake.”

  A few minutes later he walked back in with two cups of coffee and a bottle of Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey. Once he settled into the chair across from me, he said, “Now, tell me why you’re here at eleven on a Wednesday night dressed to the nines and crying like you’ve lost your best friend in the whole wide world, Cat.” His words made me cry all over again. Reaching across the arm of the sofa, he grabbed my hand and said, “Stop crying and talk to me.”

  “Promise you won’t get mad?” His hand twitched underneath mine but he didn’t let go.

  “Starting a sentence with those words are never good. You came here for a reason, now spill.”

  I unscrewed the bottle of Fireball and poured well over two fingers into my cup of coffee. Then I screwed the top back on and took a sip. Lifting my eyes to his, I gave it to him. “I slept with Zane.”

  Disbelief colored his face. “Repeat that,” he commanded, and I tried not to flinch.

  “I slept with Zane,” I repeated. With a loud curse, he jerked his hand away and stood up.

  “I’m going to fucking kill him,” he growled. He was halfway across the room before I realized he was leaving.

  “Wait!” I shouted, but he ignored me and kept on going. He was out the door and almost to his car when I caught up with him. “Stop, Blake, it was me, not him!” I shouted.

  “Fuck that, Cathryn! I told him not to touch you. He promised!” he shouted back. Panic swirled in the pit of my stomach. If I didn’t stop him, someone was going to get hurt.

  “I kissed him first! I pursued him, I swear! I’m the dumbass who fell in love, not him, and tonight I…..I h-h-hurt him!” I wailed, and broke into a sobbing mess of tears. “I love him and I hurt him,” I cried. Blake stopped, backtracked back to where I was standing and wrapped his arms around me. All I could do was weep.

  “God, Cat, you’re a mess, baby girl.”

  “I am!” I cried, and he laughed. I smacked his chest, “It isn’t funny!” Of course this only made him laugh harder.

  “No wonder Zane has been acting like such a dick lately.” Blake shook his head and let out a snort of disgust. “Come on. I’ll give you one chance to convince me not to kill the fucker, and I’m warning you, Cat, it’d better be good.” Arm in arm, he steered me back up the steps and into his town house. We spent the rest of the evening sipping coffee laced with Fireball while I explained how I’d come to fall in love with his best friend and had just made the biggest mistake of my life. Blake eventually caved and, against his better judgment, helped me devise a plan to get Zane back.

  Blake woke me at six the next morning. Due to the adrenaline pumping through my veins, my hangover was minimal. After two cups of coffee and a few Advil I was ready to go. On the way out the door he hugged me. “Zane is hard headed and obstinate, Cat. If he doesn’t give in at first, keep at him. If he still doesn’t, he’s an idiot. Just know I am here if you need me and you can move into my spare bedroom anytime, okay?”

  Patting him on the cheek, I told him how lucky I was to have him as a brother.

  “You are, now shut up and go get your man.” I started down the front steps and laughed when I heard him say, “I can’t believe those words just came out of my mouth.”

  When I pulled up at Riverbend, Zane’s car was nowhere to be found. My heart sank. Of course, my mind went straight to Sally. Did he turn to her last night? I gave myself a mental slap. This is why you’re where you are right now, Cathryn,” I scolded. Zane was right. He had apologized and he’d done absolutely nothing in the past few weeks to make me doubt him. If only I’d stuck around for the rest of his conversation with Sally last night, I’d be in bed with him right this moment instead of stewing in this self-induced hell. I needed answers but first I needed a shower.

  Right as I stepped inside the building, I saw Zane pull up. Before he could catch me lurking outside his door in the same clothes I had on the night before, I high tailed it up the stairs and into my apartment, stripped down and jumped into the shower. As if it was a regular work day, I got dressed and headed down to Zane’s apartment at eight fifty-five. After a few deep breaths, I let myself in. I was relieved to hear the shower running upstairs. This meant I had a few more minutes to spare before confronting him.

  Treat it like every other morning, Blake had said. Taking another deep breath I b-lined straight for the coffee maker. I was hoping Zane would go directly to his office after his shower, because if he didn’t, I was going to have to go search him out. The coffee maker sang its death song and I poured us two cups. Then I carefully picked them up and carried them across the dining room and into his office. I paused when I saw him sitting behind his desk. He looked tired and beautiful and my heart ached. His head lifted as I approached and I tried not to flinch at his blank expression. I placed his coffee in front of him and held onto mine for moral support.

  “So, boss, what’s on today’s docket? I asked.

  “Perhaps you can help me search for a new PA,” he replied. His words scalded me. Blake said Zane was going to be tough. Boy, he wasn’t kidding.

  “Well, for starters, let’s discuss the qualifications of said assistant. Given your track record, might I suggest a man this time?”

  Apparently my sarcasm was not lost on him, because he snapped back with, “Good idea, but he must be both polite and prompt.”

  Ignoring his dig, I set down my coffee and lifted a pad from his desk. As I selected a pen from his cup holder, I glanced down at his hands, which were curled into fists. I was getting to him. “So that we have some criteria to go by, how about we make a list of what hasn’t worked for you in the past,” I suggested, “This way we can make sure you don’t make the same mistakes and perpetuate the same end results. Polite and prompt are already number one and two on the list.”

  “Another great idea. Add limited phone calls and coffee breaks during business hours to the list,” he drolled. I gritted my teeth and wrote it down.

  “How about must do your laundry?” I asked.

  “No, that was reserved for a woman. I wouldn’t expect a man to do my laundry,” he
retorted. I wanted to kick him where it counted. Instead, I pretended to write down his answer.

  “Isn’t allowed upstairs?” I asked.

  “I’ve only used that one with you, however, I like it so let’s add it,” he answered. I was shaking I was so mad. Here I was thinking we were going to talk this out. We weren’t going to do shit. I was such an idiot.

  Through gritted teeth, I asked, “Must give a damn good blow job?”

  “Naw, I can get that anywhere, I only turn to my PA when I’m desperate,” he casually replied. That was it, I’d had enough.

  Leaning forward, I looked him in his gorgeous blue eyes and said, “Let’s not forget, he or she must be completely memorable and, whatever they do, they must not fall in love with you.”

  “Who’s being a sore loser, now?” he quietly asked.

  I wasn’t a sore loser, I was a heartbroken idiot and I’d had enough. Slapping the notebook on his desk, I said, “Fuck you, Zane Mitchell, and took off out the door.

  Zane caught up with me at the front door. Before I could get away from him, he pulled me back inside the apartment, slammed the door and pressed me flat against it.

  “You’re in love with me?” His deep voice vibrated through my body and I fought back a shiver.

  “Not anymore,” I hissed.

  His lips pressed against my ear and whispered, “Liar.” Lust, hurt and anger warred within me. For the moment, anger won out.

  “Get off me, Zane!” I screeched.

  “You love me?” he asked again.

  “What does it matter? You clearly don’t feel the same way.”

  “Says who?”

  “Me!” I shouted, and bucked against his hold on me.

  “Fuck that, Cathryn. I am so in love with you I can’t see straight. The only reason I didn’t tell Sally I was in love with you and to go fuck herself last night was because I knew she’d run straight to Blake before I had a chance to talk to him.”

  His confession of love floored me. He let up just enough for me to turn my head and lock eyes with him.

  “You’re in love with me?” I asked.

  “It doesn’t matter what I feel because you made it very clear last night you don’t believe a word I say,” he threw back at me. I could see how much my words hurt him.

  “I don’t like Sally.”

  His lips twitched with humor. “You don’t say?”

  “It’s not funny, Zane.”

  A full on smile appeared on his face but his eyes were like steel. “You’re wrong, Cathryn, it’s very funny. If you bothered to talk to me instead of jumping to conclusions, you would find I don’t want Sally and never did.” The anger in his voice was tangible.

  “I didn’t give you the benefit of a doubt,” I admitted.

  “No, you didn’t.”

  “I should have.”

  “Yes, you should have,” he agreed.

  “Just like you should have given me enough time to answer last night.”

  “Just as I should have given you more time to answer,” he repeated. “Tell me, Cathryn, had I given you more time, what would you have chosen?”

  “You,” I answered. His eyes softened. “The past two weeks with you have meant everything to me.” His eyes closed as he absorbed what I was saying. “Had you given me a minute more, I was going to choose you, I swear.” He opened them back up and the intensity of his stare cut straight to my soul. “I love you, Zane. I’m scared and insecure and sometimes neurotic, but I love you with all of my heart.”

  His lips quirked and his eyebrow shot up. “Sometimes neurotic?”

  “Okay, most of the time neurotic, but if I was normal, I’d really be forgettable,” I added.

  “Oh, baby, I wish I’d never said those stupid fucking words. If I have to spend the rest of my life convincing you of just how memorable you are, I will.” He pulled back just enough for me to turn around before caging me back against the door.

  I felt as if my heart was going to burst. “The rest of your life?” I asked.

  “The rest of our lives,” he answered.

  “Promise?”

  “Swear it.” Before I could say anything else, he kissed me. Then he lifted me into his arms and carried me upstairs to his bedroom.

  Epilogue

  Cathryn

  ‡

  …Six months later…

  “Shhhh, do you hear that?” I whispered.

  “Baby, the last thing your dad wants to find is you having sex… in a closet, no less,” Zane murmured against my neck. His hand was in my panties and his fingers were strumming all the right places. His words made me giggle but his fingers made me moan. With an exasperated huff, he shoved my dress out of the way.

  “Don’t wrinkle my dress,” I warned.

  “We wouldn’t have a problem if you’d take the damn thing off, like I asked,” he griped.

  I pulled back from his wandering mouth and said, “We have an apartment full of guests. There is no time to dally.”

  He smiled and my whole body clenched.

  The week after Zane and I made up, Hunter and Blake helped him move my stuff into his apartment. I wasn’t sure what he’d said to Blake to convince him, but whatever it was, it worked because Blake was no longer angry. In fact, he was downright supportive. I wasn’t as sure about us living together as Zane was, but it didn’t take him long to convince me. The man had a way with his words…and his hands…and his mouth…and his man parts.

  Zane slid my panties down my legs and I stepped out of them. His hands dropped to his fly and my pussy tingled.

  Three months to the day we moved in together, Zane sent me a text telling me he had something special prepared for the evening and to make sure I wore a dress. He liked to take me to nice restaurants so I thought nothing of it. I called up Mr. Brass and asked if he would man the office for me while I ran to the mall to get a new dress and, Mrs. Brass, or Dani as I now called her, overheard. The next thing I knew, Dani, Lena, Miss Weston and I were all headed to the mall for an impromptu shopping spree. While we were out we had lunch and got our nails done. When we returned, Zane greeted me at the door with a smile on his face. He was wearing my favorite dove grey suit with tiny white pinstripes. I assumed from his bare feet and open collar he’d just returned from a meeting. After saying my goodbyes to the ladies, Zane ushered me inside and up to our bedroom.

  “What are you up to?” I asked.

  “When you’re done getting dressed, I’ll be waiting for you downstairs,” he cryptically announced, and then walked out of the room.

  It took me less than fifteen minutes to slip on the dress and pull my hair up. I was surprised to find Zane standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me. His feet were still bare and his collar was still open. What is he up to? I opened my mouth to ask, again, but he beat me to the punch.

  “This way, madam,” he announced, and held out his arm.

  I took it and he ushered me out to the pool area to a table set for two. As he pulled back my chair, a server appeared out of nowhere.

  “What in the world?” I breathed.

  Once we both were seated, he explained. “I wanted to do something special, to surprise you.”

  We waited for the waiter to pour our wine. Zane told him to hold off on dinner for a bit. With a bow, the waiter turned to leave and we were alone.

  “To us,” he said, and held up his glass.

  “To us,” I repeated, and we toasted.

  “You do realize I’m a sure thing,” I said, and he laughed.

  His face sobered and he began talking. “I thought I was happy. I had everything, but then you walked into my life and made me realize I had nothing. Not only did you call me on my bullshit, you made me feel…alive. I remember staring out at you as you were floating on that that damn octopus. You were laughing and having the best time. I tried to recall the last time I let go and simply enjoyed myself and I couldn’t. I wanted you and it was getting more and more difficult to stay away. I was so tired of f
ighting the inevitable. As I stared out at you, it hit me what I’d been missing.”

  My heart was in my throat but I had to ask. “What had you been missing?”

  “Happiness,” he said. My eyes teared up. “Right now you are a sure thing but I won’t take any chances, I need to know you will be my sure thing forever and always.”

  Is he saying what I think he is? “What are you saying?” I barely managed to ask through my tears.

  He stood up and walked around the table to stand in front of me and my heart skipped a beat. I gasped when he dropped to one knee and held out his hand. “Miss Haines, will you spend the rest of your life with me?” My eyes shot to his hand, where he held an absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous diamond ring.

  Clapping my hands over my mouth, I squealed, “Oh my God, Zane!” and burst into a mess of tears. With a bark of laughter, he slid the ring on my finger. Then he pulled me up into his arms and kissed me.

  Zane

  …Present moment…

  Three days was too long to go without sex. Yes, I realized Cathryn’s parents were sleeping across the hall from us but who the fuck cared? I sure as hell didn’t. After three days, and a hell of a lot of petting, I finally had her right where I wanted her. I didn’t give a damn if it was our closet. Hell, I would have settled for the shower or linen closet if it meant I was going to be back inside her again.

  “Zane, please,” she groaned, as I unzipped my fly and pulled my cock out of my pants.

  “Please what, baby?” I teased.

  Her blue eyes held me captive and I couldn’t believe that tomorrow she would finally be mine. “Get over here and get inside me, now,” she commanded, and I couldn’t help but smile. Looks like someone went too long without cock. Of course, I wasn’t stupid enough to say this out loud. By the time I reached her she had her dress pulled up to her waist and her freshly waxed pussy was peeking out at me. My cock ached to take her and my mouth watered to taste her. “Uh-uh, buddy, I know that look and we don’t have time. This is a dick only zone right now,” she warned.