Desire & Denial (Southern Boys Book 3)

by K. C. Wells

  Imagine it’s not a bear lyin’ under you. It’s Kendis’s ass you’re plowing into. Remember that gorgeous ass he was hiding in those sweats?

  Oh, dear God. Heat raced through him, and he thrust deep into the fleshlight, loving how it sucked him in, the crevices and bumps inside it creating delicious sensations.

  Or maybe it’s Chaz. How long have you wanted to slide your dick between his cheeks?

  Jon stifled a groan. His brain was trying to kill him with these glorious fantasies. He lost himself in them, hips pumping as he drove his cock deep into the bear’s ass, clinging to it as he drew closer to his climax. In his mind’s eyes, he pictured smooth bare skin beneath him, his hands pulling ass cheeks apart as he split Chaz’s beautiful ass with his hard as nails dick. He pictured Kendis’s back, a breathtaking canvas of skin gleaming with sweat as he grabbed him by the hips and fucked him. Fuck, it looked like he was oiled.

  All too soon, he shot hard, shuddering as he pulsed come into the fleshlight, burying his face in the bear’s fur to muffle his moans of pleasure. He lay there, the bear locked in his arms as he waited out the last jolts that rippled through him, until his heartbeat returned to normal, and his body was at peace.

  Jon gingerly eased his spent cock from the fleshlight, then removed the device from the bear’s new orifice. A quick clean-up in the bathroom, and he was finally ready to sleep. He slid under the sheets and comforter, warm and sated. Then he reconsidered. He tugged the bear until it was under the sheets with him, wrapped his arms around it, and settled down to sleep.

  His last thought was that Chaz had better not bring him coffee in the morning.

  There was no way he would ever let Jon live this down.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Tuesday Dec 26

  As they walked through the door of Big Lots, Chaz murmured, “You don’t think this is gonna look a bit weird? Three guys choosing a bed together?”

  Kendis chuckled. “Hey, they might think Jon is the dad, an’ we’re adopted.”

  Chaz leered. “He can be my daddy any day.”

  Jon almost choked on that. “Can we keep our minds on the task in hand, an’ stop thinking with our little heads?” He aimed a mock glare at Chaz. “And you—keep your daddy fantasies to yourself. Especially in here.” He should have known this was a bad idea.

  As they walked through the store, Chaz muttered, “Yes, Daddy.” Kendis chuckled.

  “I heard that!” Jon raised his eyes heavenward. You sure this is a good idea? Me an’ these two?

  The Lord was keeping quiet on that one.

  The start to the day had been really… special. Kendis had walked up to him, placed his hands on Jon’s shoulders, and kissed him softly on the lips.

  Jon had smiled. “That was your way of sayin’ no, I didn’t dream what happened last night, and no, you’re not giving up on me.”

  Kendis had beamed at him. “Got it in one.”

  That was enough to set Jon’s mood for the day. Until they got to the furniture store…

  They soon found the bed section, and there wasn’t a lot of choice, seven beds in total. Jon pointed to a queen bed. “That looks like a good one.” It had drawers set into the base, which was useful.

  Chaz shook his head. “Too small.”

  Jon stared at him. “It looks plenty big enough for the two of you.”

  “Yeah, but I wasn’t thinking of just us two.” Chaz grinned.

  His words conjured up a whole host of images that Jon did not want to be thinking about right that minute, especially when they were standing in a room full of beds. Thankfully, no sales assistants were nearby to hear them.

  He led them to another bed, this one a king. “How about that one?” When Chaz shook his head, Jon folded his arms. “Okay what’s wrong with this one?”

  Chaz patted the padded headboard. “It’s solid.”

  Both Kendis and Jon stared at him in puzzlement. “I don’t understand,” Jon said at last.

  “Well,” Chaz began, “you need a headboard that you can… tie things to.” He coughed.

  Kendis snorted. “You are watching way too much porn.”

  Jon wasn’t even going to go there, because holy fuck…

  He figured Kendis needed to be the one making the decision. He pointed to another bed, which had a metal frame. “How about that one?” Maybe Kendis would offer something more helpful.

  Kendis shook his head. “Sleepin’ in that? I’d feel like I was in hospital—or prison.”

  Jon sighed. Maybe not. “We are runnin’ out of beds here, guys. So either we choose one of these, or we go someplace else.” He walked over to a king bed done in a cherry veneer. It was the kind of bed he would have chosen, stylish and practical.

  Kendis joined him. “I like this one.” He stroked the headboard.

  It was all Jon could do to stop himself from yelling Hallelujah. “Okay, now we’re gettin’ somewhere. What do you think?” he asked Chaz.

  Chaz rubbed his chin and walked around the bed. “It’s wood. I can do wood.” Another evil Chaz grin. Then to Jon’s amazement, he knelt at the side of it.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Jon whispered.

  Chaz regarded him with widened eyes. “Hey, you gotta check it for height. You know…” He glanced around to make sure nobody was looking in their direction, then gave a couple of pelvic thrusts.

  Kendis was laughing his ass off.

  Dear Lord, kill me now.

  “Fine, we’ll take this one.” Anything to get out of there. Then he remembered. “We need to look at some more bedroom furniture while we’re here.” He glanced at Kendis. “Gotta make sure you got space to put all your clothing, right?”

  “Thank you.” Kendis smiled. “I love the bed.”

  “And I’m gonna love you in the bed,” Chaz added with that same grin.

  Jon rolled his eyes. Living with these two was never going to be boring.

  Jon loaded the dishwasher, then brought the three mugs of coffee into the living room. Chaz and Kendis were already sitting on the couch, Kendis leaning into Chaz like he’d always been there. It had been a pleasant afternoon, sorting out Chaz’s room, and removing boxes of Jon’s things to give them more space. It was going to be a squeeze to get a king bed in there, not to mention the dresser he’d bought as well. Jon didn’t think they would complain. It would be their space, and he wanted them to have everything they needed.

  He placed the mugs on the coffee table, then stood in front of them. “So where do I get to sit this time?”

  Chaz laughed. “We’ll stay put. You get the other end of the couch.”

  Jon sat down, and propped his feet on the coffee table. He’d been meaning to talk to them all day, but had never found the courage. But Kendis would be working the rest of the week, and that would mean any evenings he spent at the house would be time for him and Chaz, and Jon didn’t want to interfere with that. That left the present evening to bring up a subject that made his stomach churn. They’d opened the door to it the previous night, and Jon felt it was time to let them in.

  “Did you mean it? When you said you’ve been wanting this—me—for a while?” Jon hadn’t been able to forget those words. They implied so much.

  Chaz chuckled. “I used to torture myself with these fantasies about going after a straight guy, and him wanting it.”

  Jon’s heartbeat raced. “Ah. But that assumes I’m straight.” Both of them jerked their heads towards him, their eyes wide. He nodded. “Thought that might surprise you.”

  “When did you first know you were gay?” Kendis asked. Then he stared. “Or are you bi?”

  Jon smiled. “No, I’m definitely gay.” Then it hit him. “That’s the first time I’ve ever said those words out loud to someone else.”

  Kendis beamed. “Congratulations.” He leaned over and kissed Jon’s cheek.

  Chaz let out a chuckle. “Only woman who’d have you is Delilah.” At the mention of her name, the cat raised her head from her curle
d-up position next to the fire, then settled back to sleep with a yawn.

  “So when did you know?” Kendis persisted.

  “For sure? In my late teens, I guess.” Jon could still recall that first heart-stopping moment when he looked at one of the guys on the high school football team, and realized he was staring at the guy’s mouth, wondering what it would be like to kiss him—and what he’d look like in the shower. “Not that I did anything about it, you understand.”

  “You don’t have to talk about this, you know,” Kendis said gently. “Not if it makes you feel uncomfortable.”

  “What he said,” Chaz added.

  Jon sighed. “Look, let’s get one thing straight right now.”

  Chaz snickered. “You said straight.”

  Kendis hit him on the arm. “Will you stop being a goof for a sec and let him talk? This is obviously important.”

  Jon gave him a grateful smile. “Okay, before I start… I’m not after your pity, all right?” Hell no to that. “And I’m not gonna share all the gory details. I’m doin’ this in the interest of full disclosure. Because I want you to understand why I wasn’t reaching for a condom the second after you kissed me.” Chaz chuckled, and Jon gave him a puzzled glance. “Something I said?”

  Chaz shook his head. “No—something he said last night,” he said with a flick of his head toward Kendis. “He had you nailed.” His expression grew serious. “You can tell us,” he said softly.

  Fuck, where do I begin? There was no way he could share all of it. That was too painful, not to mention shameful. He knew in his heart they wouldn’t judge him, but that didn’t change his mind. Some things were best kept to himself.

  “When I was twenty-two, I finally got up the nerve to go to a gay bar. At least, I thought it was a gay bar. With hindsight I may have got that wrong. But that’s not important. What you need to know is, I ended up in a bad situation.”

  Kendis gazed at him in alarm. “How bad are we talking here?”

  “It could have been a lot scarier, okay? But I got out of there, and I never went back. That was my one brief step out of the closet. After that, I went right back in again.” There was a helluva lot more to that story, but most of it was bound up in his lack of self-confidence and self-esteem.

  There were some things not to be shared.

  “So you went back to being straight?” Chaz asked.

  Jon nodded. “Basically, I hid. Years later—we’re talking in my thirties now—I made another move to come out of that closet. It didn’t go so well, but I know now it was my fault. I got my signals wrong.”

  “Does Del know any of this?” Kendis asked softly.

  “Fuck no.” Jon couldn’t believe he was finally admitting to all this.

  “Don’t you think he should?” Chaz’s voice was equally gentle.

  “Why? Because he’s my brother?” Except Jon knew he would tell Del eventually. When the moment’s right. Then he sighed inwardly. And when will that be?

  “No, because he’s your gay brother. If anyone’s gonna understand what you’ve been through, it’ll be him, right?” Chaz peered at him, concern in his eyes.

  “Trust me, sweetheart. It’s way more complicated than me sittin’ Del down an’ telling him I’m gay.” They had no idea.

  “But you feel safe telling us,” Kendis remarked quietly.

  Jon swallowed. “I haven’t told you everything. What I’ve said so far? That amounts to what you’d find on the back cover of a book. You got the bare bones. Because right now, that is all I am capable of sharin’. With Del? That wouldn’t be enough.” He took a deep breath. “And you’re right. I told you because I knew with all my heart you wouldn’t hurt me in any way, shape or form. And… it was time to break the cycle.”

  “What do you mean?” Chaz asked.

  “I mean, I got stuck in a bad cycle of keepin’ everything inside, never feelin’ comfortable with anyone… And the longer it went on, the harder it got to break. I was the only one that could do that.” He swallowed. “Sure, I made a mistake the second time, but I knew with you two, I was not gonna make the same mistake again.”

  “Confession time.” Chaz smiled. “Just how long have you been thinkin’ about us as more than… friends, I suppose?”

  Jon snorted. “Since before you started parading around in nothin’ but a towel, making sure I spotted your boner.”

  Kendis guffawed. “You are so busted, Chaz.” That got them all laughing. Kendis reached for Jon’s hand and held it. “Then you do want us?”

  “Remember what I said last night, about how it’s gonna take me a little time to accept all of this? Well, I wasn’t lyin’.” He squeezed Kendis’s hand. “But yeah, I want you. I… I need you.” Ain’t that the truth?

  Kendis stilled. “And when you think you’re ready, we’ll be here.” He leaned in and whispered, “Some things are worth waitin’ for.”

  Sweet Jesus. Be still my heart.

  “When does the bed get here?” Chaz inquired.

  “Friday.” Jon was relieved to have the change of subject.

  “Great. ‘Cause there’s something I’d like to do before it does.”

  Kendis chuckled. “We are not putting a mirror on the ceiling.” Jon snorted. When Chaz’s eyes lit up, Kendis glared at him. “No. And I repeat, no. Uh-uh.”

  “But baby, that’s a great idea,” Chaz wheedled. He leaned over and whispered in Kendis’s ear.

  Jon watched as Kendis brought his hand up to his chest, his breathing quickening. When he reached down to adjust his dick, Jon was really intrigued. Then Chaz sat back, and Kendis expelled a long breath. “Okay, maybe we should think about that.”

  Jon stared at Chaz. “Whatever did you say to him?”

  Chaz gave a smug smile. “Oh, I just mentioned a few of the… benefits.” Before Jon could question him further, he plowed ahead. “But that wasn’t what I was thinkin’ about. Would it be okay if I painted my bedroom?”

  Jon blinked. “Sure. It’s your room, right? Hell, I’ll even help ya.”

  Chaz appeared delighted. “Aw, great. I’ll go an’ pick up some paint in the mornin.”

  “What color are you thinkin’ of?” Kendis asked, his eyes narrowed. “Seeing as it’s gonna be my room too.”

  Chaz grinned. “Red. A deep, deep red.” When both Jon and Kendis gaped at him, he burst out laughing. “God, your faces. And I don’t know. Some color that’s… peaceful.”

  Kendis smiled. “I like that.” Then he directed his attention to Jon. “Please? Go with him?” He said it with such seriousness that Jon was laughing.

  “You really don’t trust him, do you?”

  Kendis rolled his eyes. “Oh, c’mon. This is Chaz we’re talking about.” Then before Chaz could explode, Kendis quickly kissed him on the mouth, and all the fight went out of him. Chaz wound his arms around Kendis, pulling him closer, and soft noises fell from Kendis’s lips.

  Jon got up from the couch and went into the kitchen. The last thing he wanted was to be a third wheel, especially as Kendis was going back to his momma’s for the night. He knew he could tell them to take it to Chaz’s room, but that felt churlish. It’s Chaz’s home. He should feel comfortable in it.

  Jon snuck a glance into the living room. They were making out, and he ached to join them. To feel free enough to join them.

  Maybe one day I’ll feel that way.

  God, he hoped it would be soon.

  One thing was certain. Telling them a little of his history had been the right way to go. Jon felt as if that proverbial weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Now all he had to do was find enough courage to face Del.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Wednesday Dec 27

  “Are we ready to paint yet?” The day already felt like it had been twenty hours long, but that had more to do with the fact that Jon had gotten him out of bed before it was even light. Hell, they were at Smith Ace Hardware’s door when the store opened at seven. Then it had taken them ages to choose a paint co
lor, but that was down to Chaz. He’d stared at the shelves full of paint cans, and commented that he’d never known there were so many shades of Magnolia—until Jon pointed out that was the name of the paint brand.

  Yeah. Chaz was never gonna live that one down. He guessed Kendis would learn about it too before the day was out.

  “Yes, Mr. Impatient, we’re about ready to start painting. Now that you’ve removed everything from the room, cleaned the walls, and covered up the floor…” Jon grinned at him. “You wanted to do a good job, right?” His eyes twinkled. “Oh, my bad. You wanted to do a quick, half-assed job.”

  Chaz glared at him before giving him the finger. Jon just laughed. “Okay, okay, so I haven’t painted before. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? To help?”

  Jon nodded. “I’m here to make sure you get it right first time, so I don’t have to do it again when you mess it up.”

  Chaz gave him another glare. “Who says I’m gonna mess it up?”

  Jon snorted. “You’re eighteen. Your favorite occupations are porn, porn, an’ porn. Need I say more?”

  Chaz couldn’t really argue with that. Then he gaped at Jon. “Hey, I ride my bike too, don’t I?”

  Jon folded his arms. “Which did you do most recently—ride your bike or watch porn?”

  Chaz opened his mouth to reply, then shut it quickly.

  Jon chuckled. “I rest my case.” He pried open the can of paint with a screwdriver, and set the lid carefully to one side.

  Chaz peered at the paint. “That ain’t the color on the tin,” he exclaimed. Jon picked up a stick and stirred the paint with it. After a minute of this, Chaz cleared his throat. “Oh. Yeah. That’s it.”

  Jon said nothing but smirked. He poured pale green paint into the tray and then picked up the roller brush. “Here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna take a brush an’ go around all the corners and the edges of the baseboards. You are gonna use the roller and fill in all the in-between bits.” He narrowed his gaze. “I’m gonna say this once—don’t put too much paint on the roller, okay?”