Love, Rosie

by Cecelia Ahern

  Love you sweetheart,

  Mum

  You have an instant message from: STEPH

  Steph: Hey you, you’re not answering your phone.

  Steph: I know you’re there Rosie, I can see that you’ve logged on-line!

  Steph: OK I’m going to stalk you until you reply

  Steph: Hellooooo!

  Rosie: Hi

  Steph: Well hello there! Why do I get the feeling I was being ignored?

  Rosie: Sorry I was too tired to speak to anyone.

  Steph: I suppose I can forgive you. Everything OK? How was the trip to Boston? Was it as beautiful as it looks in the photos?

  Rosie: Yeah the place is really gorgeous. Alex showed me around everywhere, I hadn’t a minute to spare while I was over there; he really took care of me.

  Steph: As he should. So where did you go?

  Rosie: He showed me around Boston College so I could see what it would have been like for me to study there and it is so fabulous. Oh Steph, it was so romantic and magical and beautiful and the weather was just fabulous . . .

  Steph: Wow it sounds great. I take it you liked it then.

  Rosie: Yeah I liked it. It was even better than the photographs I saw of it when I was applying. It would have been a nice place to study . . .

  Steph: I’m sure it would have been. Where did you stay?

  Rosie: I stayed in Alex’s parents’ house. The house is really lovely, it looks like Alex’s dad is making loads of money in that new job. Well it’s not so new anymore really is it?

  Steph: I suppose it’s not, time flies by, but the place sounds wonderful. What else did you two get up to? I know there has to be some exciting story here! There’s never a dull moment when you two are involved!

  Rosie: Eh well we went looking around the shops, he brought me to a Red Sox game in Fenway Park and I hadn’t a clue what was going on but I had a nice hot dog, we went out to a few clubs . . . sorry I’ve nothing interesting to tell you Steph . . .

  Steph: Hey that’s a hell of a lot more interesting than what I did all week believe me! So how is Alex? How does he look? I haven’t seen him for ages. I suppose he’s all grown up now too!

  Rosie: Yeah he is actually. He looked really well. He’s got a slight American accent although he denies it. But he’s still the same old Alex. As lovable as usual. He really spoiled me for the entire week, he didn’t let me pay for a thing, he brought me out somewhere new every night, and it was good to feel free for a while.

  Steph: You are free, Rosie.

  Rosie: I know that. I just don’t feel it sometimes. Over there I felt like I hadn’t a care in the world. Things felt so good and it was almost as if every muscle in my body relaxed the moment I landed there. I haven’t laughed so much in years. I felt like a 23-year-old, Steph. I haven’t felt like that much lately. I know this probably sounds weird but I felt like the me that I could have been.

  I liked that I didn’t have to look out for somebody else while I walked down the street. I didn’t have the fifty near heart attacks per day that I usually get when Katie goes missing or puts something in her mouth that she shouldn’t. I didn’t have to dive onto the road and hold her back just in time from being hit by a car. I liked that I didn’t have to give out, correct people on their pronunciation or make threats. I liked laughing at a joke without my sleeve being tugged at and being asked to explain. I liked having adult conversations without being interrupted to cheer and applaud a silly dance or the learning of a new word. I liked that I was just me, Rosie, not mummy, thinking just about me, talking about things I liked, going places I liked to go without having to worry about nappy changes, bottle feeding or sleepy-head tantrums. Isn’t that awful?

  Steph: It’s not awful Rosie. It’s good to have time to yourself but it’s good to be back with Katie, isn’t it? And if things were so great then why did you come home so early? You weren’t supposed to be home for another week. Did something happen?

  Rosie: Uuuugh not really worth mentioning.

  Steph: Oh come on, Rosie, I know when something is bothering you, and you can tell me. It’s obviously worth mentioning if you had to come home early because of it.

  Rosie: It was just time to go, Steph.

  Steph: Did you and Alex have a fight or anything?

  Rosie: Ha! I wish.

  Steph: What?? What happened?

  Rosie: No too embarrassing to explain.

  Steph: Why what do you mean?

  Rosie: Oh I just made a show of myself one night.

  Steph: Oh don’t be silly I’m sure Alex didn’t mind! He’s seen you make a show of yourself in your lifetime.

  Rosie: No Steph, this was a different kind of making a show of myself. Trust me. Not the usual kind of Alex and Rosie thing to do. I kind of threw myself at him and the next day I was mortified.

  Steph: WHAT?? Do you mean that . . . ? Did you and Alex . . . ???

  CHAPTER 8

  Rosie: Calm down Stephanie!

  Steph: I can’t! This is too bizarre! You two are like brother and sister! Alex is like my little brother! You can’t have!

  Rosie: STEPHANIE! WE DIDN’T!

  Steph: Oh. Then what happened?

  Rosie: OK I realize that this was a very silly thing for me to do and I am extremely embarrassed so don’t go mental at me . . .

  Steph: OK go on . . .

  Rosie: Well it’s really far more innocent than you think but equally embarrassing. I kissed Alex.

  Steph: I knew it!!! And what happened???

  Rosie: He didn’t kiss me back.

  Steph: Oh and do you mind that?

  Rosie: The unsettling thing is that yes I do.

  Steph: Oh Rosie I’m so sorry . . . but I’m sure Alex will come around, he was probably just shocked, oh I’m sure he feels the same!! This is so exciting! I always knew something would happen between you two someday.

  Rosie: I honestly don’t know what happened to me. I’ve been lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling ever since I got home trying to figure out what came over me. Was it something I ate that made me feel light-headed? Was it something he said that I could have misunderstood? I’m trying to convince myself that it was more than just the silence of the moment that changed my heart.

  At first we had so much to catch up on we were talking a hundred words a second, barely even listening to the ends of each other’s sentences before moving on to the next. And there was laughing. Lots of laughing. Then the laughing stopped and there was this silence. This weird comfortable silence. What the hell was it?

  It was like the world stopped turning in that instant. Like everyone around us was wiped out. Like everything at home was forgotten about. It was like those few minutes on this world were created just for us and all we could do was look at each other. It was like he was seeing my face for the very first time. He looked confused but kind of amused. Exactly how I felt. Because I was sitting on the grass with my best friend Alex, and that was my best friend Alex’s face and nose and eyes and lips but they seemed different. So who was this man that was sending my heart into a frenzy? So I kissed him. I seized the moment and I kissed him.

  Steph: Wow. And what did he say?

  Rosie: Nothing.

  Steph: Nothing?

  Rosie: Nope. Absolutely nothing. He just stared at me.

  Steph: So how do you know he didn’t feel the same?

  Rosie: Sally came bounding over. We had been waiting for her. She was all excited. Wanted to know whether Alex had told me the good news or not. He didn’t seem to quite hear her the first time. So she snapped her fingers in front of our faces. Then she repeated herself. “Alex, honey, did you tell Rosie the good news?”

  He just blinked so she wrapped her arms around him and she told me herself. They’re getting married. So I came home.

  Steph: Oh Rosie.

  Rosie: What the hell was that silence?

  Steph: It sounds like something I’d like. It sounded nice.

  Rosie: It was.

 
Phil:What kind of a silence?

  Alex: Just a weird silence.

  Phil:Yeah but what do you mean by weird?

  Alex: Unusual, not normal.

  Phil:Yeah but was it good or bad?

  Alex: Good.

  Phil:And that’s bad?

  Alex: Yes.

  Phil:Because?

  Alex: I’m engaged to Sally.

  Phil:Did you ever have “the silence” with her?

  Alex: We have silences . . .

  Phil:So do Margaret and I, you don’t always have to talk you know.

  Alex: No this was different Phil. It wasn’t just a silence, it was a . . . oh I don’t no.

  Phil:Bloody hell Alex.

  Alex: I no. I’m all over the place.

  Phil:OK so don’t marry Sally.

  Alex: But I love her.

  Phil:And what about Rosie?

  Alex: I’m not sure.

  Phil: Well then, I don’t see a problem here. If you were in love with Rosie and not sure about Sally then you’d be in trouble. Marry Sally and forget about the goddamn silence.

  Alex: Once again, you’ve put my life into perspective Phil.

  Dear Rosie,

  I am so sorry about what happened. You didn’t have to leave Boston so soon, we could have worked this out . . . I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Sally before you got here but I was waiting until you met her and I didn’t want to tell you over the phone. Maybe I should have . . .

  Please don’t distance yourself from me, I haven’t heard from you in weeks. It was wonderful seeing you . . . please write soon.

  Keep in touch,

  Love,

  Alex

  TO ALEX OR SHOULD WE SAY DR. ALEX!

  CONGRATULATIONS!

  GIVE YOURSELF A BIG PAT ON THE BACK . . .

  YOU MADE IT!!

  WE KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!

  Congratulations on graduating from Harvard, you genius!!

  Sorry we couldn’t be there,

  Love Rosie and Katie

  Xxx

  You have an instant message from: ALEX

  Alex: Rosie, I wanted you to be the first person to no that I’ve decided to become a heart surgeon!

  Rosie: Cool, does it pay well?

  Alex: Rosie, it’s not about the money.

  Rosie: Where I come from, it’s all about the money. Probably because I don’t have any. Working part-time at Randy Andy Paperclip Co. isn’t really as financially rewarding as it sounds.

  Alex: Well in my world it’s all about the lives you save. So what do you really think? Do you approve of my choice of employment?

  Rosie: Hmmm . . . my best friend, the heart doctor. I like the sound of that.

  Alex: Thanks Rosie.

  FROM:Alex

  TO:Rosie

  SUBJECT:Thank you!

  I forgot to thank you for the congrats card you and Katie sent me, the last time we spoke. It has taken pride of place on the mantel in my new apartment, in fact it’s about the only thing I actually have here. Sally and I just moved in a few weeks ago, you and Katie are very welcome to come over and see it whenever you like . . . it can be Katie’s first time on a plane to visit her godfather in Boston!

  The apartment is small but because I’ve such long shifts at the hospital, I hardly get to stay here anyway. I’ve got another life-long sentence here at the hospital before I can actually call myself a heart surgeon. In the meantime I’m being paid a pittance at work and slaving away till all hours. There’s a nice park directly across the road and it’s got a playground for kids, Katie would love it.

  Anyway that’s enough about me. I seem to be just talking about myself these days. Please write to me and let me know how things are going for you. I don’t want there to be any awkwardness between us, Rosie.

  Keep in touch,

  Alex

  TO ALEX,

  MERRY CHRISTMAS!

  MAY THE FESTIVE SEASON BE FILLED WITH LOVE AND JOY FOR YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES.

  Love Rosie & kAtIe

  ROSIE AND KATIE,

  HAPPY NEW YEAR!

  May this year bring you lots of fun, love, and happiness!

  Love,

  Alex and Sally

  Dear Stephanie

  You will not believe the card that just arrived through my door this morning. I was almost sick. I was just cleaning up the mess Mum and Dad made after their annual new year’s party when it made its grand entrance on the doormat. I was almost expecting the sound of trumpets to go with it! “Da da da announcing the arrival of the extremely sad coupley card!” There was about ten million bottles of wine rolling around the floor when I came downstairs and I nearly tripped over a game of Trivial Pursuit (yes it was one of those nights). There were those stupid paper hats strewn around the living room, hanging from the lightbulbs, or dangling in the gravy dish looking extremely unappealing. There were Christmas crackers pulled apart with their crappy little miniature toys falling out that no one could possibly ever use like little torches the size of your thumbnail and jigsaws with about two pieces, lying in the leftover food, the place was a mess!

  Honestly, Steph, when Mum and Dad went away we held the craziest parties ever but at least we still managed not to behave like farmyard animals. Plus they were screaming and singing (well trying to sing) and dancing (or stamping their feet in some sort of crazy people ritual) all night. Poor Katie was terrified of all the noise (she just can’t be my daughter), and she spent the night screaming her head off. So I had to sit up with her all night. Eventually everyone started to leave the house at about 6 or 7 A.M., and I was starting to fall asleep when I was jerked awake by a little monster jumping on me and demanding food.

  So anyway I think what I’m trying to say is that I wasn’t in the greatest mood for what arrived on my doorstep. I had a pounding headache, I was so tired and after cleaning the mess downstairs (which is fine because it is Mum and Dad’s house after all and they are kindly letting me stay rent-free so I’m not complaining about them) I just wanted peace and quiet and a bit of sleep.

  But the card came.

  The happy-new-year-make-me-gag card.

  On the front was a lovely little picture of Alex and Sally all dressed up warmly in their winter coats and hats and gloves etc. . . . they were standing outside in a park that was covered in snow with their arms wrapped around . . . a snowman. A bloody snowman.

  They looked so sickeningly happy. Two little happy Harvard-heads. Uugh.

  How sad is it to send a photo of yourself and your boyfriend building a snowman??? Very very very sad. That’s how sad. And to send it to me, especially!! The cheek!

  I should have sent them a photo of me and . . . me and . . . George (the lollipop man and the only man I seem to speak to these days) standing outside in the freezing cold jumping in puddles. That’s how pointless that would have been to them!

  Oh god, I’m rambling on and on. Sorry. I have to go before Katie finishes the last of that red wine in the bottle on the floor.

  Oh, by the way. It was great to meet your boyfriend after all this time, he’s a really nice guy. You two should come home more often, it was fun speaking to people closer to my age for a change.

  Happy new year. Whoever thought of that expression?

  Love, your festive and extremely joyous younger sister, Rosie.

  TO ROSIE,

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY FRIEND!

  WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF 25 YEAR OLDS! WE ARE GETTING OLD, ROSIE!

  WRITE TO ME MORE OFTEN!

  LOVE ALEX

  TO ALEX

  YOU ARE IVNITED TO MY 7TH BRITHDAY PARTY ON THE 4TH OF MAY IN MY HOWSE. WE ARE HAVING A MAJICIN. I CANT WAIT. IT IS ON AT 2 O’CLOCK AND YOU CAN LEAVE AT 5 O’CLOCK.

  LOVE KATIE

  Dear Katie,

  I’m sorry I can’t come to your birthday party. The magician sounds like he will be lots of fun. You will have so many friends you won’t even no I’m not there! I have to work at the hospital, so they won’t let me take
a holiday. I told them it was your birthday but they still wouldn’t listen!

  However I have sent you a little something so I hope you like it. Happy birthday, Katie, and take care of your mummy for me. She is very special.

  Lots of love to you and Mum,

  Alex

  TO ALEX,

  THANK YOU FOR MY BRITHDAY PRESENT. MY MUMMY CRIED WHEN I OPENED IT. I NEVER HAD A LOCKET BEFORE. THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF YOU AND MUMMY ARE VERY SMALL.

  THE MAJICIN WAS GOOD BUT MY BEST FREIND TOBY SAID HE NEW HE WAS CHEATING AND SHOWED EVERYONE WHERE THE MAN HID THE CARDS. THE MAN WAS NOT VERY HAPPY AND HE GOT MAD AT TOBY. MUMMY LAFFED SO LOUD I DO NOT THINK THE MAJIC MAN LIKED HER EETHER. TOBY LIKES MUM.

  I GOT LOTS OF NICE PRESENTS BUT AVRIL AND SINEAD GOT ME THE SAME THING. MUMMY AND ME ARE MOVING HOWSE SOON. I WILL MISS GRANDMA AND GRANDAD SO MUCH AND I NO MUMMY IS SAD BECAUSE I HEARD HER CRYING LAST NIGHT IN BED.

  BUT WE ARE NOT MOVING TOO FAR AWAY. YOU CAN GET THE BUS FORM GRANDMA AND GRANDAD TO OUR NEW HOWSE. IT DOES NOT TAKE TOO LONG AND WE ARE NEARER TO ALL THE SHOPS IN TOWN SO WE CAN WALK.

  IT IS MUCH SMALLER THAN THE HOWSE WE ARE IN NOW. MUMMY IS FUNNY SHE CALLS IT A SHOE BOX! THERE ARE ONLY 2 BEDROOMS AND THE KITCHEN IS TINY AND THERE IS NO DINING ROOM OR PLAYROOM. JUST A PLACE TO EAT AND WATCH TELLY. WE HAVE A BALCONY AND IT’S NICE BUT MUM WONT LET ME STAND ON IT ON MY OWN.

  I CAN SEE THE PARK. MUMMY SAYS THE PARK IS OUR GARDEN AND THAT WE HAVE THE BIGGEST GARDEN IN THE WORLD.

  MUMMY SAID THAT I CAN PAINT MY ROOM WHATEVER COLOR I WANT. I THINK I’LL PAINT IT PINK OR PURPLE. TOBY SAYS WE SHOULD PAINT IT BLACK. HE IS FUNNY.

  MUMMY HAS A NEW JOB. SHE WORKS ONLY A FEW DAYS IN A WEEK SO SOMETIMES SHE CAN COLLECT ME FROM SKOOL AND OTHER TIMES SHE CANT. I PLAY WITH TOBY UNTIL SHE COMES HOME. HIS MUM ALWAYS BRINGS HIM AND COLLECTS HIM BECAUSE THEY SAY WE ARE TOO YOUNG TO GET THE BUS. I DON’T THINK MUM LIKES HER JOB. SHE IS ALWAYS TIRED AND CRYING. SHE SAID SHE WOULD PERFER TO BE BACK IN SKOOL DOING DUBBLE MATTS. I DON’T NO WHAT SHE MEANS. ME AND TOBY HATE SKOOL BUT HE ALWAYS MAKES ME LAFF. MUMMY SAYS SHE IS TIRED OF HAVING TO KEEP GOING BACK TO MY TEACHER MS. CASEY. GRANDMA AND GRANDAD THINK IT IS FUNNY. MS. CASEY HAS THE BIGGEST NOSE EVER. SHE HATES ME AND TOBY. I DO NOT THINK SHE LIKES MUM EETHER BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS FIGHT WHEN THEY SEE EACH OTHER.