Love, Rosie

by Cecelia Ahern

  Ring us soon.

  Love,

  Sally

  You have an instant message from: RUBY

  Ruby: Sounds like the bitch is just pissing around her man to mark her territory.

  Rosie: By sending a letter to an 8-year-old little girl??!!

  Ruby: Well she obviously knew that it would get into your hands. That’s cruel alright. What did Katie say?

  Rosie: Oh nothing much, I don’t think she realized what Sally was doing.

  Ruby: Don’t let Sally worry you. She’s just trying to let you know who the woman is in Alex’s life now. Anyway why is she doing this, did you do anything to make her feel threatened?

  Rosie: No way! As if!

  Ruby:Rosie?

  Rosie: Oh OK then maybe she felt just a little threatened by the fact that Alex and I had a better time at her wedding than she did.

  Ruby:Bingo!

  Rosie: Yes but that’s the way we always are Ruby, it wasn’t flirting, it wasn’t anything. It was just happiness. However she did not crack one smile for the whole day, she just kept sucking her cheekbones in and pouting at everyone.

  Ruby: OK I believe you, but millions wouldn’t. Anyway, don’t rise to her, just ignore it.

  Rosie: Oh don’t worry, I won’t respond. I’m just sorry that the stupid woman didn’t have the common sense to leave my daughter out of her insecurities.

  Ruby:Katie will be fine; she’s a smart girl. Just like her mother.

  To Sally,

  Thank you for your letter. I’m glad you liked my dress, but if I were you I would have worn a pretty dress like my mum’s for my wedding day. Everyone said that it matched Alex’s tuxedo really well. They made a nice couple, don’t you think? I showed Mum and Toby (my best friend) the photograph of you and Alex on the beach and Toby says that he hopes that your sunburn doesn’t hurt too much. It looks really sore.

  That’s all for now. I have to go now because Mum’s new boyfriend is coming to the flat soon. Tell Alex that me, mum, and Toby said hi.

  Love from Katie,

  Xxx

  CHAPTER 11

  FROM:Alex

  TO:Rosie

  SUBJECT:Secret boyfriend

  Back from my honeymoon; you sly little lady, you never told me about this new boyfriend of yours! Sally was so excited about the news she couldn’t wait to tell me, which I thought was rather sweet. I didn’t realize Katie and Sally were writing to each other, did you?

  Anyway why didn’t you say a word about this guy at the wedding? I never knew you to be so secretive, you usually tell me everything. So what’s he like? What’s his name? Where did you meet him? What does he look like? What does he do for a living? I hope he earns loads of money and that he’s treating you well, or else I’m coming home to throttle him.

  I’ll have to go back to Dublin to meet this guy; make sure he gets the best friend approval. Anyway, let me no all the details (maybe not all of them).

  Hi Stephanie,

  Just writing to see how you are, love, and to share a bit of good news with you. I’m sure Rosie hasn’t told you this already because she’s keeping pretty quiet about it, but I just wanted to tell you that she’s met someone! We are all so delighted, she seems so happy, those big blue eyes don’t look so sad anymore and there’s a spring in her step again. More like the Rosie we used to know.

  Anyway, she brought the young man over to the house yesterday for dinner to meet us and I have to say he really is a charming man. His name is Greg Collins and he’s a bank manager for AIB in Fairview. So I presume he’s being reasonably well paid, which isn’t important I know but it’s nice to see Rosie being treated for a change.

  He’s quite a short man, to be honest, a little taller than Rosie with a cute little face. He’s thirty-something, I would guess, and he is absolutely wonderful with Katie. They spent the day teasing each other, it was very funny. It’s been difficult, as you know, for Rosie to meet someone who she likes herself as well as taking into account that it has to be somebody that Katie feels comfortable with too. But there should be no compromises, I keep telling her. Too often she ended up with those other men just because Katie liked them. Anyway, as I said, Katie adores Greg. I’m so pleased. Rosie seems to have found a nice fellow at last.

  Anyway how’s work? Busy over there as always? Don’t work yourself too hard in that restaurant anyway, love; you need to enjoy life too. Your dad and I were thinking of coming over to you for a little holiday soon, would that be OK? Let us know when you’re free and we’ll work around it. Say hello to Jean-Pierre for us. Looking forward to seeing you.

  Love,

  Mum

  FROM:Rosie

  TO:Alex

  SUBJECT:Re: Secret boyfriend

  Oops my little secret is out now thanks to Katie and her big mouth! Well I didn’t say anything about Greg (that’s his name) at your wedding, because at that stage we hadn’t gone out yet! We met in the Dancing Cow nightclub (it’s a very long story!) just before I went over to you in Boston, and he took my number and asked me out but I said no! So I must have gone all gushy after your wedding because when I came back I rang him up and asked him out!

  Oh Alex I’ve been wined and dined like never before! He’s taken me to restaurants I only read about in magazines and he’s terribly romantic, but you said not to give you all the details so I won’t tell you about our weekend away down the country . . . OK so you wanted to know all about him, here goes: He is 35, works at the bank in Fairview. He’s not exactly tall (my height), which isn’t exactly small but . . . OK if he was to stand beside you, you would have a fantastic view of his scalp. But he has sandy-colored hair and wonderful twinkling blue eyes.

  He is always bringing Katie little gifts when he comes, which I know he shouldn’t do, but I love seeing her being spoiled especially as I haven’t exactly been able to do that myself over the years. I can’t believe I have finally met a man that doesn’t mind that I have a daughter, all the others looked at me like I was diseased when I told them and would suddenly think of a great excuse to have to leave the dinner table. I also can’t believe that Katie and I have finally agreed on the same man. She only seemed to like the young pretty ones that she fancied herself probably. We need to be realistic here, though, I can’t exactly afford to be picky!! Her idea of a great partner for me was someone who would play games with her all the time, pull silly faces, put on unattractive voices and wear brightly colored clothes that should only be worn on Saturday morning TV.

  Anyway I seem to have found him. He is a very generous, caring, and thoughtful man, and I think I am very lucky to have met him. It may not last forever but I’m enjoying myself Alex. I know I’ve been such a misery guts for the past, oh I don’t know . . . 10 years or so (!) but now I have realized that Katie and I are a team and if they can’t love us both, then they can get lost.

  But I think I may have met a man who does. Fingers crossed.

  PS: I notice you have stopped referring to Ireland as home . . . your heart must finally be in Boston now.

  FROM:Alex

  TO:Rosie

  SUBJECT:Oooh Rosie’s in love!

  Oooooh! Rosie sounds like she’s in love!!!

  With a bank manager who goes clubbing in a place called the Dancing Cow?? What kind of bank manager (or any man for that matter) goes to the Dancing Cow? Fair enough, you and your friend Ruby seem to have gone off the rails altogether, so therefore I wouldn’t expect anything more from you. But I don’t no, I’m not yet convinced this man is the right one for you.

  And I have to say I was slightly insulted by your last letter. What do you mean by the statement “I have finally met a man who doesn’t mind that I have a daughter”? I think that I have always been supportive of you and Katie, in fact I no I have. Whenever I can, I visit you and bring you out to all your favorite restaurants and bring my goddaughter presents.

  Anyway I better go, just worked a double shift at the hospital so I’m feeling kind of ratty and tired.<
br />
  FROM:Rosie

  TO:Alex

  SUBJECT:Thanks Mr. Supportive

  Well thank you, Mr. Supportive, for being so happy for me. In case you haven’t noticed, you and I are not involved in a romantic relationship. Yes, you are a wonderful friend (supportive and generous), but you are not here every day with me. I’m sure you will understand when I say that finding a friend and finding a partner are two very different things. You accept me warts and all, some men don’t. But you’re not here.

  OK well that’s all. Hope married life is going wonderfully!

  You have an instant message from: RUBY

  Ruby:Katie told Sally what??

  Rosie: I know, it’s crazy isn’t it? And Katie wrote that letter after I had only been on one date with Greg!

  Ruby: Wow, she must really like him to be telling people about him so soon. Ah well maybe Sally won’t feel like you’re trying to get your grubby little mitts on her husband now.

  Rosie: Ah who cares anyway, I have my Greg!

  Ruby: Ugh you make me sick, you’ve turned into one of those sickening couples that we hate. You two are carrying on like love-struck teenagers; I think I’ll have to find a new single friend so that I don’t feel like a complete gooseberry the next time we go out.

  Rosie: Oh you’re such a liar! You were having a great time with all those guys every time I looked at you. You were the center of attention!

  Ruby: Oh a girl does what she has to . . . Anyway you must only have spotted me on the rare occasion you detached your head from Greg’s face. Oh by the way that guy called me last night so I’m thinking of—

  You have an instant message from: GREG

  Greg:Hello gorgeous how’s your day going?

  Rosie: Oh hello! Oh it’s the same as usual . . . better now though!

  Ruby:Hello? Are you still there or has Randy Andy attacked you?

  Rosie: Sorry Greg just a second, I’m chatting to Ruby on-line too!

  Greg:Do you two ever do any work?!

  Rosie: Enough to keep ourselves from getting fired.

  Greg:I’ll try you again later.

  Ruby: No no! Don’t be silly! I’m perfectly capable of carrying on two conversations at the same time. Besides I want to chat to you and if I tell that to Ruby she’ll be even more angry at me for becoming one of them . . .

  Greg:Who’s “them”?

  Rosie: Part of the secret couple elite . . .

  Greg:Oh, them! Of course, silly me . . .

  Rosie: Sorry Ruby, Greg is e-mailing me too so bear with me for a few minutes.

  Ruby:Can you two not live without each other for a few hours?!

  Rosie: No!

  Ruby: Oh I miss Rosie . . . Who are you and what have you done to my man-hating friend?

  Rosie: Don’t worry she’s still here, just taking a well-deserved break. So what were you saying about this guy you met the other night?

  Ruby: Oh yeah his name is Ted (a real teddy bear), he’s overweight but then again so am I so who cares; we can bounce off each other. He’s a truck driver and he seemed like a nice guy because he kept buying me drinks, which puts him up pretty high on my Decent Man scale. Plus he was the only person who wasn’t ignoring me in the pub that night.

  Rosie: Oh I’m so sorry but you know what it’s like when you meet someone new, you want to get to know everything about them.

  Ruby: No I don’t quite want to know everything about Ted . . . I don’t want to be put off him.

  Rosie: So Greg what are you doing tonight?

  Greg: Rosie my dear, I am all yours for the night! Why don’t we get a bottle of wine, some take-away, and stay in for the night. We can get Katie a video or something.

  Rosie: Yep, that sounds like a great idea! My stomach is rumbling at the thought of it. I’m starving! Randy Andy will only let me take two lunch breaks now. Anyway Katie will be really excited to see you.

  Ruby:So should I call him?

  Rosie: Call who?

  Ruby:TED!

  Rosie: Oh yeah, of course! Ring the teddy bear! Then I won’t feel like such a bitch for leaving you on your own when we go out. Actually ask him out, I can get Kevin to babysit and then we can all go on a double date, I’ve always wanted to do that!

  Ruby: Oh please, the innocence of the young and inexperienced. Ted and Greg will have absolutely nothing in common, they’re like chalk and cheese; a bank manager and a possible bank robber. They will hate each other, the atmosphere will be awkward, no one will talk, all you’ll hear is the munching of food in our mouths over the deafening silence like some kind of weird Chinese torture, we’ll all refuse dessert, skip the coffee, pick up the check, and leg it out the door and feel relieved and promise ourselves never to meet up again.

  Rosie: How does next Friday sound?

  Ruby:Friday’s fine.

  Greg: I hope Ruby is OK with us after the other night; we were kind of in a world of our own.

  Rosie: Don’t be silly, she didn’t mind at all. She met some guy called Teddy Bear, oh and by the way, are you free to go out on a double date thingy on Friday night? That’s if I can get a babysitter for Katie.

  Greg: A dinner date with Ruby and a man named Teddy Bear. Sounds interesting.

  Rosie: Greg said he’s free for dinner on Friday.

  Ruby: Well that’s all very well but I haven’t asked Ted yet. What did Alex say about you and Greg being in love?

  Rosie: Well I didn’t say I was in love Ruby! Greg and I haven’t even said that to each other yet! But Alex sent me some weird letter telling me that he thinks that Greg sounds like a freak of nature and that he’s insulted that I don’t think that he’s supportive of me and Katie. He just went on a bit of a rant to be honest but I won’t take any notice because he had worked all night at the hospital and he was tired—

  Ruby:Uh-huh.

  Rosie: What’s that supposed to mean?

  Ruby:This is just as I suspected.

  Rosie: Why Jessica Fletcher, what did you suspect?

  Ruby:He’s jealous.

  Rosie: Alex is not jealous!

  Ruby: Alex is jealous of your relationship with Greg; he feels threatened.

  Greg:So what time should I call over to you tonight? 7 or 8?

  Rosie: No, Alex is not jealous of my relationship with Greg! Why should he be? He’s married to perfect pretty little Sally, happily might I add (at least according to Sally) and I have a lovely photograph of the two of them lying on the beach together looking very much in love just to prove it. I gave him a chance to be part of Katie’s life and mine and he chose to remain my friend, which is what I have now come to terms with. It’s fine. Now I am in a relationship with Greg, he’s wonderful and I no longer care about Alex in that way at all whatsoever! So that’s all I have to say about that thank you very much! I am over Alex, he is not interested in me and now I am in love with Greg! So there!

  Greg: Well . . . thank you for sharing all that with me Rosie, I can’t tell you enough how thrilled I am to hear that you are no longer in love with a man named Alex “at all whatsoever” as you so articulately put it . . .

  Rosie: Oh my god Ruby!! I just sent Greg the message that was supposed to be for you!! Fuck fuck FUCKETY FUCK! I TOLD HIM I LOVED HIM!!!!

  Greg:Em . . . that eh . . . went to me again Rosie . . . sorry . . .

  Rosie: Oh . . .

  Ruby:Oh what??

  CHAPTER 12

  Rosie: OK so that has to be the singularly most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me, without any doubts, NO exceptions!!!

  Ruby: What about the time you wore that white dress out to a club with no underwear on and someone spilled water all over you and it was suddenly completely see-through?

  Rosie: OK so that was pretty embarrassing.

  Ruby: And what about the time you were in the supermarket and you grabbed another little girl’s hand by mistake and started dragging her out to the car while Katie waited inside crying her eyes out.

&nbs
p; Rosie: That little girl’s mother said it was fine and she dropped the charges . . .

  Ruby:And what about the time—

  Rosie: OK that’s enough thank you! I take back what I said, it was not the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened, but it’s pretty much up there with the all-time classics. The number one embarrassing moment being the time I kissed Alex.

  Ruby:Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

  Rosie: Oh come on you’re supposed to make me feel better.

  Ruby:Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

  Rosie: Oh the joy of having supportive friends. I’m going now; Randy Andy is glaring at me like a schoolmaster over the rim of his incredibly sexy brown-rimmed spectacles.

  Ruby:Maybe he wants you to be the naughty schoolgirl.

  Rosie: Well he’s just a few years too late for that. I think he wants to kill me, his nostrils are flaring and he’s breathing quite heavily

  Ruby:Are his hands above the desk?

  Rosie: Uuugh! Ruby stop!

  Ruby: What?! You don’t think they call him Randy Andy for nothing do you?

  Rosie: I hate open plan offices, he can see me from every corner of this room, and he can also see my legs underneath the desk. Oh my, now he’s staring at my legs.

  Ruby:Rosie you really need to get out of that office. It’s not healthy.

  Rosie: I know, I’m working on it but I can’t quit until I get another job and that’s proving to be rather difficult. Apparently no one really cares about whether or not you work as a secretary in a paper-clip factory.

  Ruby: Hmm . . . how odd . . . And it sounds so glamorous, you would think . . . Honestly, some people . . .

  Rosie: Oh my god, he has now moved his chair over so he can get a better look. Hold on a minute while I send him a message, I’ve had enough!