by B C Morgan
“I’ll help, we just don’t tell the big guys and we’ll be fine,” I reply and although Benjy tries to talk me out of it my mind will not be changed.
Benjy gets him out of the chair and wraps his arm around Harrison’s back and I take up the other side.
“Come on H, get walking,” I say, and although he’s glaring at me he does start to shuffle forward.
He is heavy, but I can handle it, I think. We get him to the poolside and sit him down so his legs are dangling over the pool edge.
“I’ll leave you guys to it, and you better let Benjy use the hoist to get you out or you’ll be spending the rest of the week in there like a shrivelled-up prune.”
“Don’t go, he listens to you,” Benjy says while fluttering his lashes at me, such a numpty.
“He doesn’t listen to anyone, besides he’ll be a miserable arse if I stick around.” I say it with a self-deprecating laugh, but I’m not wrong. I won’t make the day enjoyable for either of them, my presence will only make it worse.
“That’s just his normal attitude, believe me it isn’t only aimed towards you my dear.”
“Do you guys mind, I’m sitting right here and I can hear you both perfectly fine. Oh sure stay, the more the merrier apparently,” he grumbles out and I don’t know why I’m getting back in the pool.
I guess I’m just a glutton for punishment, oh well at least I have this evening to myself.
“Why are you even helping me, tolerating me even?” He asks as we leave the fitness centre.
“I have no idea, I guess I must enjoy the punishment,” I mumble out but his face scrunches up so he clearly hears me.
“I’ll see you guys later, I’ll be in the library at the usual time if you haven’t had your fill of me for one day,” I say before waving at Benjy and hightailing it out of there, sod it I’m ringing Eli.
“Hey baby, how’s it going?” he asks and I can hear the smile in his voice.
“Not too bad, I may be missing you just a bit,” I say.
“Just a little, well that isn’t right guess I’ll have to try harder won’t I,” he says and I have no idea what to make of that comment.
We talk for the next half an hour and it’s fantastic. I wish I could stay on the phone to him all day but I need food and then I’ve got a date with the library. With the library not him, I am definitely not interested in Harrison.
Lunch is quiet, they’re not in here and it’s nice to just sit by myself and eat my tacos. I haven’t had any more emails from PastFinder but the countdown is still ticking along. Well, I may have had more emails but I’ve logged out for the time being so I’m living in denial for a little while. Come January, I’ll have to tell them and I’ll have to finish with Amias. That is making me feel so depressed, I want to be with him even though I know it can’t be that way. He still won’t tell me what happened when he came back black and blue, he’s ignoring my texts and he won’t admit that he’s keeping a secret. I don’t want to destroy and hurt him anymore, I just want to let him go.
The only reason I’m waiting until January is because I’m not strong enough to say goodbye to him just yet. I’m weak but I’ll get stronger just give me time.
I need to shake the melancholy free, I’ve got some time to kill before I need to get to the library. I think I’m just going to walk around, it’s so strange having only two students here.
I’m walking the grounds when I see it. Down with the King. Harrison is no more. Better run he might fall out of his chair. Should have stayed in your coma. Better not get a puncture. Careful he might try and run us over. Harrison has finally been defeated... by stairs.
Nasty fuckers, what if he sees this? It’s cruel I can’t leave this here, funnily enough it’s the same place where the Shepherds jumped me. Clearly this is their handiwork, definitely not PastFinder. They're not smart enough for it. I’m not going to assume it’s only them but they had to have instigated it, is there no such thing as loyalty in this place?
By the time I make it to the library Harrison is in a foul mood. It took longer than I anticipated painting over everything that had been written, it’s not like I planned on arriving ten minutes late. Sorry for trying to do something nice and keep him from seeing what the nasty twerps here have been writing about him. They’ve gone from fearing him to mocking him and all because he took a bad hit and has ended up in a wheelchair. They’re nothing more than vultures pecking at his vulnerability, I guess they’ll be in for a wake up call when he comes back kicking. It’s Harrison, there’s no way he won’t make it through this.
“Nice of you to show up,” he spits out and Benjy just shakes his head as he moves to leave the room.
“Benjy stay, you may as well take him out or stay either way, I’m done for today. I didn’t have to offer to tutor you while everyone else is off having fun and I didn’t have to go around and do some redecorating,” my voice is growing louder and a little harsh.
I’m covered in paint and it wasn’t easy making sure all the graffiti was covered, especially when some of it was a lot taller than me. I’m tired, frustrated and fed up of not getting an ounce of appreciation. I’m not doing it for that, but it doesn’t hurt to be shown it once in a while.
“What were you painting Henleigh?” Benjy asks and I tell him quietly enough so Harrison will not over hear me. I’m still looking out for his feelings, I am such a sap.
“Will you please give us a moment my dear but stay close. Harrison will need to speak to you in a moment.”
Okay, I’m not going to refuse him although I’d rather go to my room and read and listen to music. It’s got to be more fun than being in a room with Harrison.
Five minutes later and Benjy is calling me back in, oh the joys.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” he says with a soft smile my way and a hard look for Harrison, I really like Benjy.
“I’m sorry Henleigh, thank you for getting rid of whatever those arseholes had written. You didn’t need to, but thanks anyway,” he says, this looks so painful for him. Good.
“I didn’t do it for your thanks, but a little common courtesy wouldn’t go amiss,” was he raised in a barn or something, why haven’t his parents instilled this crap in him already?
“Are you still up for studying, between physio and Benjy this is the only break I get from feeling like a complete invalid,” I think he’s using anger to mask his pain and fear, but I won’t stand for him talking about himself in that way.
“Hey that isn’t nice, and you’re going to get through this. You’ve just got to rebuild your strength, you’ll be back issuing threats and scaring every Tom, Dick and Harry in no time,” I say with an easy smile, I wonder if he can tell how forced it actually is.
“Not everything can be fixed though,” he says, and he looks so desolate, I wonder if there is anything I can do.
Ooh I have an idea. It could backfire spectacularly, he may even tell me to piss off when he sees it. But if it works, and he has fun, then it’ll be worth all the effort I’m going to have to put in to make it work.
“Come on H, no studying today.”
“What, where are we going? And are you ever going to stop calling me that?” He asks with a growl and I can’t help but laugh.
“I’ll make you a deal, you be nice for the duration of what I have planned and try to have a little fun and I’ll stop calling you it. Even better, I’ll call you whatever you wish,” hang on, do I sound flirty?
“Okay, deal,” he says and we are shaking on it and everything, damn.
“Okay, I’m going to give Benjy a couple hours off so he can video chat with his lovely missus and kiddies. Don’t worry I can get a hold of him if I need to,” I assure him, he looked panicked for a moment, I really should figure that out.
Benjy wouldn’t go until he helped me set everything up, I really hope he can get back home to his family for Christmas. He’s bringing Harrison in before he goes, even though I not so politely told him to sod off and I could do it myself.<
br />
“What’s this?” he asks as his chair comes to a stop in front of me and I drop a chair down beside him for myself.
“This is what we’re going to be doing for the next couple of hours, unless you’re not into shooting games.”
“I can’t believe you’ve done this,” he says as he takes in the projector screen, games console and the latest PVP shooter game out so far.
“We have shooting, racing and even Borderlands because it’s an epic game. No sports though, this is my break from all things tiring. Aside from you that is,” I say with a wink and he starts to smile before thinking better of it.
We sit here playing for the next two hours and we make a pretty good team, he’s fun to play with when he’s directing his anger at a different target. He’s more relaxed, he’s making jokes, and he’s even laughing. I’m counting this as a win, no doubt about it.
It’s nice to see this side of him, but it does make me wonder if he has any genuine friends here. He always seems to be alone, even though the Shepherds do as he says, he’s never actually with them.
“Want to play another round or do you fancy watching a film or something? Either that or I can get Benjy back and leave you to it,” I say, making it clear the ball is in his court.
I just want him to know that he still has choices even if everything seems different right now. It has to be hard for him and I still don’t know if there are any lasting implications to his injury. For his sake, I hope there isn’t.
“I could watch a film, unless you need to call one of your boyfriends,” he says and I’m choosing to ignore the way he said boyfriends this time.
“Okay then, I’ll get Benjy and grab us some food and then I’ll be right back,” I say, standing up and stretching.
Is he watching me?
“Is he joining us?” does he want me to say yes or no? He’s impossible to get a read on when he isn’t spewing his toxic hatred at me.
“Sure, if he wants too, but I thought you might be comfier out of the chair for a while.”
His face softens but I’m out of here, he won’t like knowing that I saw it so I’ll pretend I didn’t.
Nine
December is here, damn it’s gone so quick. Harrison is at least civil when no one else is around but he’s being his usual vicious self if we have an audience. He’s even going to start coming into the lunchroom next week, he’s not happy about that but Hutchy has put her foot down.
“Henleigh, I need to speak to you. In private please,” Mattias says which has Elijah's eyebrows disappearing into his hairline.
“Of course, I’ll be right back Eli,” I say as I drop a lingering kiss onto him and go with Mattias to his room.
“What’s the matter?” I ask, as he indicates for me to take a seat, this can’t be good.
“I haven’t been able to determine who PastFinder is yet, but I’m getting close. It’s definitely coming from someone in this school but it’s not always the same computer, and it hasn’t always come from here either.”
“Thanks for trying Matti, I appreciate it,” I say it as he puts his hand on my shoulder to stop me from standing before snatching it back.
“There’s something else, in regard to the other matter you wanted me to look into,” he pauses for a moment and I’m sitting here on tenterhooks. “I discovered a few things regarding your brother’s accident. He was travelling in a car with Devon and the others when a truck connected with the passenger side of the car. It rolled multiple times before connecting with a metal barrier.”
“Hang on, so why was Devon held accountable? Surely the driver of the van should have been arrested,” this doesn’t make any sense.
“The driver said the car appeared out of nowhere and they didn’t have time to stop, it would have been his word against your friend’s, but something was discovered with Devon’s car. Henleigh, their car was filled... with guns. They were armed, and they were high.” if there was a gold medal for awkwardness, he would win it hands down right now, he did not want to tell me this. Please tell me he’s wrong, that can’t be what happened. It can’t.
“No, that can’t be true. Not Elliott, he would never do something like that,” I say, I can’t believe it, I won’t.
“Please little hen, drop the rest of it. Don’t ruin the image you have of Elliott; he can never improve it.”
Devon’s words won’t stop ringing in my ears, there has to be some kind of mistake but what if there isn’t? Why would he have been drugged up and armed? What the fuck were they up to?
“I’m sorry Leigh, do you want me to keep digging?” Despite the position I’m putting him in he still wants to help, I know that makes him a great guy but what does it make me. That I keep allowing it or worse; I keep asking for it.
“I don’t know, I can’t see how you can find out the reason why only Devon or Asher can tell me that. I may never know, but there is something you can do for me,” I say as an idea forms within my mind, it scares me, but I can’t put it off any longer.
He agrees, and he doesn’t ask any questions, I know I’m risking my secret with this one, but I need to put it to bed. This is the only way I can.
I’m quiet and I know Elijah and the others are trying to figure out why, I’m just not ready to talk about it.
“Have you found a replacement for Leah yet?” Declan asks Roxie and she throws a chip at him in response.
“No, and she’s now forming her own band. Good luck with that,” she retorts but I know she’s worried she won’t find a replacement guitarist in time for their Christmas performance.
“Why don’t you let a guy join?” I ask and it makes everyone groan, guess I’m not the first one to think of this.
“Because we’re a girl band, come to think of it can you play any instruments baby girl,” her eyes are sparkling, oh no. I am not going there.
“Nope, not at all. I can’t play anything utterly tone deaf,” I say, and I hope no one thinks to check me up on this. I do not perform in front of people, ever!
“Great, I guess we’ll have to keep auditioning. We’ve only got two weeks we may have to bow out.”
Ah crap, if they don’t find anyone after a week, I’ll offer to sit in but I’m keeping quiet just in case. Stage fright is a big thing when it comes to me performing, I struggle to play in front of my Dad how can I do it for the whole school?
Going to the library today feels surreal, Benjy is sitting outside our study room and he’s the happiest I’ve seen him.
“Hey you, what’s going on?” I ask, his smile is infectious.
“Wait until you see for yourself, he’s over the moon,” he replies before he ushers me inside and I don’t know how I’m going to pick my jaw up from the ground.
He’s standing at the table and his chair isn’t anywhere in sight, this is fantastic.
“Blow me, look at you,” I say, and he turns around to face me. He’s slow on his feet, but who cares when he’s standing and moving unaided.
“Getting there, still need the chair for long distances but it’s getting better. I’m happy to start studying and all but I’m really enjoying standing for the moment,” I can see a smile teasing the corner of his lips, I bet he’s a heart stopper when he truly smiles. Not that I’m interested in any way, just an innocent observation. Head meet arse.
“Do you want to go for a walk until you’re ready to sit and concentrate,” I say with a slight chuckle and he’s agreeing, okay then.
Seeing as all the year thirteen are in the other buildings there’s no chance of running into the Shepherds, which is nice. Benjy is following us but he’s staying back, I think he’s trying to give Harrison as much independence as he can.
“You know, I was thinking. I never did decide what name you could call me, are you ready for my decision?” his eyes are intense, I feel like the helpless prey and Harrison is the predator circling me, waiting for the perfect moment to strike and go in for the killing blow.
“Sure…not nervous at all,” I re
ply, damn it’s going to be something humiliating, isn't it?
“Relax, I don’t know why but I think I’m okay with you calling me H for the time being. It might help me figure out why it feels so familiar to me, this doesn’t mean we’re friends though. I still can’t stand you,” he says, but it’s lacking his usual conviction.
“Of course, enemies for life. No worries over here H, I’m glad you’re back on your feet though,” my voice softens at the end and he stiffens a little before relaxing again.
He’s starting to slow more but he’s too proud to admit it is time to head back.
“Come on, let’s get our studying on. I have a thing later that I need to practise.”
“Sure, if that’s what you need to do,” he replies as we head back towards the library and Benjy gives me an appreciative smile. No worries here, I’ll look after him for now. Besides, he does seem to listen to me.
He’s doing so well, I can’t see him having any difficulties with passing this, apart from English. He just doesn’t care enough to apply himself fully, and it’s clearly holding him back.
“You can do so much better than this, you know the school is really strict about our A-levels being scored on the high side. Why did you even take English if you don’t like it?” I ask, I can’t wrap my head around it.
“My parents wanted me to, they want me to go to university and get a useful qualification. They don’t want me focusing on a pipe dream that might not lead anywhere.” His nonchalance has to be practiced, he cannot be this unaffected, this blasé about the whole thing, surely.
“What’s your pipe dream, come on if you tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.” I wonder if that sounds flirty to him, because it sure as hell does to me. Fuck my life, I really need to watch what I say or more like, how I say it.
“Fine, I liked fighting because it helped me to unleash my anger, but I wasn’t passionate about it. For me my true passion lies in motorbikes. I want to build custom bikes, as well as take old ones in that have seen better days and give them a new lease on life. All I want to do is go to college so I can do a bike mechanics and body shop course, but they don’t think it’s practical.” A fire is burning in his eyes and there’s this terrifying beauty in his anger, when it isn’t being directed at me.