Freeing You Freeing Me

by Kailin Gow

  The two women smiled a secret smile at me and excused themselves from the room. He barely noticed them as he slipped on a pair of diamond earrings into my ears and took my arm. “There. We are ready to go.”

  *****

  The limo took us around some of the major sights at night in New York, which Collins pointed out. It turned out Collins knew New York so well, traveling back and forth between Los Angeles and New York every month.

  “I may end up buying a hotel here,” Collins joked. “With the amount of time I visit, I might as well get a place of my own in New York.”

  “Why don’t you?” I asked, not wanting to push him into that decision or not. I didn’t know anything about his company or business…only that he must be doing really really well.

  “For some reason, I felt that if I did, it would mean me spending less time at home in California. At the time I was considering it, we had started seeing each other, and I knew I didn’t want to spend less time with you than I have to. I didn’t want to get something permanent here because you were back home and attending school.”

  I nodded. I got it. “So why did you think about it just now?”

  “Because you’re with me now. You’re the woman I wanted to share my New York experience with. Just as long as you’re with me, even New York can feel like home to me.”

  “I don’t know if you should or shouldn’t,” I said.

  “Well, there’s plenty of time to think about it,” Collins said. “For now, sit back and enjoy.the ride.”

  I did, and when we pulled up to a curb, I looked out the window and could not believe my eyes.

  Outside were swarms of partygoers, fans, and press. There was a red carpet, and limousines were pulling up in front with statuesque women dressed in beautiful dresses and chiseled-faced men wearing custom tailored suits stepping out.

  “Collins,” I said, “where are we, and why are we here?”

  Collins beamed. “Surprise, my lovely beautiful Sam. This is your first premier attendance with me, and I want to show you off.”

  “But what is this? I’m not even a movie star. You mean I’m supposed to walk on that red carpet into that theater – The AMC Lincoln? I’ve never done that before.”

  Collins took my hand and kissed it. “Don’t worry, you are a natural with poise, and your natural beauty far exceeds what is out there…” he gestured at all the botoxed and plastic-enhanced figures posing.

  “Collins!” I said. “How can you say that? They’re beautiful and so gorgeous, famous, and I’ve seen most of them in one movie or another.”

  “Well, I can say that because this is one of the films Collins Companies financed, produced, and distributed. Making films – blockbuster films to artistic award-winning indie films that showcase at film festivals is one of the things we do…all the time.”

  It never occurred to me what a powerful and highly influential person Collins was when he was with me, especially with the way he treated me like I was the center of his universe. But seeing the crowds, the press, the photographers, and movie stars pouring into the theater showed me a small, but awe-inspiring glimpse into the very powerful, talented, and worldly man Collins truly was.

  Collins saw my insecurity and moved over to hold me in his lap, while kissing me, careful not to smear my lipstick. “Do you want to do this, Sam?” he asked. “I know it looks intimidating, but it’s no different than being in front of a group at your church playing piano or making an announcement. It’s no different than you being your school’s President and giving the commencement speech at your graduation. You are a natural for this, Sam.”

  “Really?” I looked at Collins, trying to see what he saw in me that made him say that.

  “Really,” he kissed me on the tip of my nose. “Come on,” he grabbed my hand. “I want the world to see who I am totally and completely in love with, Sam. I want them to see that Samanatha Sullivan is the love of my life.”

  The door on Collins’ side opened, and our limo driver extended a hand for Collins to step out. He gracefully walked out and extended a hand to me, which I took, and he pulled me out of the limo. As soon as Collins stepped onto the red carpet with me on his arm, the photographers swarmed around us, snapping lots of photos, and the crowd started whispering how more handsome Collins was in person, along with who was that girl next to him. Is she an actress? A model?

  We stood for some photos, greeted a few people ahead of us and around us, and was soon inside the theater where it was brimming with many recognizable faces.

  A lovely brunette beauty slightly older than Collins in a plunging barely there golden dress walked up to Collins and kissed him fully on the lips in front of me. “Collins,” she declared. “I was looking forward to seeing you here.” She kept her hand on his chest while staring into his eyes. “I missed you. It’s been so long. You were so active in the scene, and then suddenly, you disappeared. Stayed out in California too much, I hear, and have stopped coming to your own films’ premieres out here.” She had her hands all over Collins chest and abs. “Still so handsome. So hot…If you’re not busy tonight, after the showing…”

  “Claire,” Collins said, glancing at me uncomfortably. “Wonderful to see you again, too. And you’re looking so lovely. But I have plans tonight…with my girlfriend Samantha.”

  Claire finally noticed me and looked me up and down. “Oh, do I know you? From some modeling assignment or a small film somewhere?”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, “but this is the first time we’ve met.” I extended my hand. “You are a vision of loveliness, Claire. It is so nice to meet you.”

  Claire smiled then, and turned to Collins. “Charming Collins. Very charming indeed. She’s young, but she’s a definite step up from the rest.” She shook my hand and said, “Hope to see you again soon.” Then she left, seeing some friend she recognized and had to go say “hi” to.

  Collins chuckled. “I told you you were a natural. If you can charm Claire, then you’re doing pretty well.”

  “Who is she?” I asked.

  “An old friend of mine,” Collins said. “An famous actress in her own right, mainly in Europe, but she attends many premieres.”

  “Did you and her?” I had to ask. The way she was groping him openly and the way she had kissed him…

  “Once, a long time ago, way before you,” Collins said.

  “Oh,” I said, feeling not so friendly towards Claire now.

  “Didn’t mean anything, and it was during a time when I was, mind my expression, a fucking machine manwhore.”

  I swallowed. I knew Collins was experienced but it never hit me how experienced he was until I met the Judge and now Claire. Two women who obviously knew how to please an experienced and worldly man like Collins.

  I was feeling a little intimidated by the ritzy crowd, except for the strong grip Collins had on my hand. He never once left my side for the night, during the film, and afterwards when we stopped by a few parties, said our hellos, and then left.

  “What did you think of the film?” Collins asked.

  I smiled widely. “I loved it. It was the right touch of everything…what a sweet love story, Collins. I absolutely loved it.”

  “Good,” Collins said. “I want to produce more of those. I knew you would see the value in them.”

  “It reminded me of films like Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” I said, “but with a little more steam.”

  “Exactly,” Collins said. “That was my intent…”

  I turned towards Collins now and my mouth dropped open. “Collins, you didn’t…did you…” I stopped stammering and started over again. “It’s your film,” I said. “You wrote it.”

  Collins looked away at first and then back at me with a small shy smile on his beautiful angelic face. “Yes,” he said. “But no one should know that. It’s written under my screenwriter pen name, and I want to keep it that way. No one needs to know that I, Collins McGregor, write sappy tearjerker love story films, too.”

  “Oh
, Collins,” I said, tears welling up. “You are so incredibly talented. That film, it showed so much depth. I’m so proud and so impressed that you wrote something that would touch so many people.”

  Collins laughed. “I know it’s a disconnect, but it’s an outlet for me. I love this whole film, media world, which is why I built Collins Companies all around it. I guess it’s my way to help change the world we live in, to turn my negative experiences in life to something positive.”

  I grabbed Collins’ face and slammed my face to his, kissing him with all the emotions I was feeling. I was so moved by today, by tonight, I wanted to show my appreciation, and started fumbling with his belt, his zipper.

  “Hold on, Speed Racer,” Collins joked. “Do you really want to do this?”

  “I do…with you, Collins. I want my first time to be with you. In any way you want me.”

  Collins gasped then, and there were unshed tears in his eyes. “I didn’t do all this today so you would finally agree to give in to me…”

  “No, Collins,” I said, feeling his hardness against me, and wanting nothing more than to give myself fully and freely to him. “I want to do this because I’ve been craving you for so long. I want to do this because I want to give you pleasure. I want you fulfilled. I want to do this because I love you so much, it hurts, and when I think of how much I love you, I can’t help but cry.”

  I was doing that now…tears were flowing down my cheeks, and Collins was kissing them off, drying my face with his kisses.

  “Then tonight, we’ll make love…all the way,” Collins said. “But not here in New York. I want to do it at our place.”

  I agreed and we continued kissing all the way back to the hotel where we ended up undressing each other, falling into bed, and Collins taking over pleasuring me until I was writhing and climaxing over and over again. I wanted to please him, to reciprocate, but he held me off, going into the shower by himself while I fell asleep from exhaustion.

  I didn’t know if he came back to bed or if he had slept at all. I was completely knocked out, and I think the only time I opened my eyes to see where Collins was, he was on the phone talking.

  When I finally opened my eyes again, it was either really late night or the wee hours of the morning, and Collins was dressed casually in jeans and a grey t-shirt, his hair freshly washed, and his face looking rested.

  “You,” I said, “did not sleep. How is it possible for you to look so good in the morning when I feel like something an elephant dragged in.”

  Collins laughed. “An elephant?”

  “Well, they’re big and wild, and can lift a ton. That’s how I’m feeling, as though I weigh a ton.”

  “Come here,” Collins said, opening his arms.

  I got up and stumbled over to him, falling flat into his arms, with his catching me. I looked up at him and was trying to shield my face with my hands. Boy was that graceful…not.

  Collins chuckled. “An angel had fallen into my lap.”

  “An awkward dis-graceful, one,” I said.

  “One whom I adore beyond words,” Collins said, kissing my temple. “Good morning. How was your night?”

  “Splendid,” I said. “You made my dream come true.”

  “What was that?” Collins said, cocking an eyebrow.

  “Secretly, I don’t even know how you could’ve guessed, but I wanted to experience what it would be like to be a princess for the day or to experience what it would be like to be a movie star. I mean, it’s Mom’s dream really, but she kind of instilled it in me, too.”

  Collins kissed my forehead. “I shall think it’s every girl’s dream to at least experience what it would be like for a day.”

  “You,” I touched his nose playfully before kissing it, “have so many layers in you, which I’m beginning to see can be all kinds…sensitive, deep, emotional, romantic, dark, and even so incredibly heartfelt. You have such a deep understanding of people, Collins…that film, this trip, your ability to understand people’s dreams and ambitions. You are the most amazing, incredible man I’ve ever met.”

  “And you,” Collins said, “make it possible for me to find those layers within me, those facets of me.”

  “More than you were ever given any credit for. More than you were told you would ever amount to,” I said, remembering how Collins’ drug-addicted mother treated him like he was nothing but trash, an inconvenience to her life, a way for her to make money to support her drug habit. Collins had overcome a lot to be where he was today.

  “More than anyone, except you, have ever given me credit for…and Gail,” Collins said. He looked at me tenderly. “No one had ever refused me the way you have, never wanted anything from me, not the scholarship, not the job, not the money, not even my body. All you’ve ever wanted from me was a chance to help me, to give yourself to me. You are like no other, Sam. I see that. I recognize that in you. You are true, and that is one reason why I would give anything for you. Why you are the Queen.”

  “And you, Collins,” I said, “hold a very special place in my heart.”

  Chapter 7

  Like all dreams, I had to wake up the next day to find myself back in California, and attending a field study psychology class at UC Irvine with Derek.

  It was my second time in class since starting summer course at UC Irvine, and I walked into the large auditorium where the class was held.

  Professor Melton, a trim man in his forties with glasses and a buzz haircut stood at the podium. “I realize it’s summer, and most of you have other plans than to spend it in class sitting for hours while I lecture on stuff you can pick up a textbook to read on your own. So, the way this class would be handled is for you to be partnered up at a field site, which had been approved for this class, and to come up with a paper at the end of the course about your experience there, how you would improve anything, the observations you’ve had, and if you were given the chance to run the program, what would you do the same. What would you do differently?”

  Derek glanced over at me and handed me a sheet of paper.

  List of approved field sites:

  1) Orange County Mental Health Institution

  2) Halfway House of Santa Ana

  3) School for Troubled Youths

  4) Orange County Juvenile Corrections Center

  “These two,” I said, pointing to School for Troubled Youths and Orange County Juvenile Corrections Center.

  “Okay,” Derek said, “we can try for either. I heard School for Troubled Youths never get filled up, while Orange County Juvenile Corrections Center does.”

  “My first choice is Juvie,” I said.

  Derek raised his eyebrow. “Not the Halfway House? I’d think that would be something you might want to take a look at.”

  “I would, but I’m interested in seeing what goes on in Juvie. Tate…he spent so many years there. Not here in O.C., but one out-of-state.”

  “Tate,” Derek said. “So that’s why.” Derek let out a slow breath. “He is a charmer alright. Just three weeks into counseling, and he’s become the most popular peer counselor requested at the center. Even beating you.”

  I laughed. “He does have a way of just being himself, and that seemed to work well with his peers. He has that way with him, as though it’s easy to be able to tell him anything.”

  Derek observed me for a minute before sinking back down into his seat. “So you two are getting along?”

  “I’ve forgiven him for his prank a while back, Derek. Yes, we are getting along now.”

  “Good,” Derek said. “I thought maybe he might come across as too strong.”

  “What?” I asked, “Why? For what?”

  “He obviously likes you,” Derek said. “I see him trying to flirt with you all the time.”

  “That’s all he is doing…” I said. “Flirting.”

  “Well, good, because you know he is underage, and you are eighteen. It wouldn’t be good if you two take that flirting beyond flirting.”

  “Derek,” I
said. “Are you saying this because you’re jealous?”

  “No, well, honestly, a little, but I’m moving on. I know all you want between us is friendship. I accept that, although I’m a bit broken-hearted. But no, I’m bringing this up because I know Tate is Collins’ little brother, and he has that same charm, even some of the same features. Tate is very persistent, and he’s the type of guy who can smooth talk anyone into anything. I know. I’m practically best buddies with him now.”

  I laughed. “Best buddies…you and Tate?”

  “I know, ironic, isn’t it. I like the kid, but I don’t trust him sometimes. Not that he has bad intentions and all that, but that he’s harden and street smart. He’s used to taking things, doing what he needs to do in order to survive. He may be young and underage, but he’s already lived a long hard life, a life you have been sheltered from all your life.”

  “He’s told you about some of his experiences?” I asked.

  “A little…just a snippet here or there. He’s keeping a lot of it bottled up. But when I sit with him and observe him during some of his calls, he does talk about some of his own experiences with the callers…to help them relate to him. He’s a natural at it. Just like you are.”

  “So you think I should be careful around him?”

  “I know he has a crush on you, and that he mentioned he once went too far with a girl he had a crush on and ended up hurting her. He regretted it, but felt he lost control,” Derek said.

  “Well,” I said. “I don’t see him very often outside of Sawyer House. Like a teenage boy his age, who suddenly acquired many friends…especially friends who are girls, he has his own life. Collins sees him for dinner, and he keeps tabs on him through Vincent.”

  “Good that Collins has Vincent on Tate’s tail.”

  “Why so distrustful of Tate?” I asked Derek, getting up to hand in my top field sites choices to the T.A. in front of the class.