Lost Wolf (A New Dawn Novel Book 4)

by Rachel M Raithby

  “I’m—”

  “Sounds like a good idea,” Jackson interrupted.

  Bass contemplated arguing. It wasn’t in his nature to take orders, especially when backed up by another alpha, but he squashed the instinct and left Jackson’s house without another word. Another line blurred, another instinct suppressed. While the man understood, his wolf was becoming more and more agitated. Katalina didn’t understand the changes he was making for her. The lengths both him and Jackson sometimes went. As fierce a wolf as she was, at her core, Katalina was human. Nothing would change that, and he’d never want her to. It was the consequence of having a human upbringing, and Katalina’s human heart was what he loved most. She reminded them of all the dangers of forgetting your humanity.

  So he left, ran until the primal instincts of his wolf calmed, until he could once again be in Jackson’s presence and not feel like ripping out his throat.

  Chapter 21

  “All right, son?” Jackson asked.

  Tearing her gaze from where Bass had vanished, Katalina put her worries for him aside and focused on Zackary. “Zac?” she said softly, stepping closer to him.

  “Kat,” Jackson warned. “Give him space.”

  “He’s okay. Aren’t you, Zac?”

  He pulled in a few more deep breaths before turning to face her. His wolf was in his eyes, the amber fracturing with the deep brown of his human color. “I’m okay,” Zackary confirmed.

  “You sure? The wolf is in your eyes?” she explained.

  Zackary frowned.

  Waving a hand toward the mirror across the room, Katalina said, “Why don’t you take a look for yourself?”

  With a hesitant glance at Jackson, Zackary made his way to the mirror. “Wow, that’s cool.”

  “Cool, yes. But not so good for blending in,” she answered.

  “Are they always like this?” Zackary asked.

  “No. Only when your wolf is close to the surface, when it has more control than the human half of you,” Jackson answered.

  “Oh.” Zakary looked away from his reflection. “So how do I get them to turn back?”

  “It’ll take time,” Katalina reassured him. Her exchange with Zackary brought back memories from when she’d been a newly turned wolf. How out of control she’d felt. How terrified. She didn’t envy the kid at all.

  “Yes,” Jackson agreed. “But I must warn you, Zackary, most wolf shifters are born. Being turned by the bite is very different. You might never learn control. There’s a possibility you’ll always be a danger to those around you. Always a breath away from shifting and causing harm, or worse.”

  Zackary’s face paled.

  “All right, Jackson, that’s enough scare tactics for one day,” Katalina instructed.

  “I’m not saying it to scare him, Kat. He needs to know. And so do you.” Jackson walked over to the kitchen bench and helped himself to coffee. “Zac is of course more than welcome to stay in my barn until he’s under control.”

  “Ugh,” she groaned, exasperated. “He is not staying in the barn.”

  “No, Katalina, I think I should,” Zackary said.

  “Zac—”

  “Honestly, it’s fine. Your boyfriend was right. I did kinda go off the rails after Mom died.” Zackary rubbed his neck, his expression ashamed. “I’ve already caused so much trouble for my sis and dad. The last thing I wanna do is hurt them.” He headed out the kitchen, head down, shoulders slumped.

  “Zac?” Jackson called. Zackary paused. “You can finish your food first. You’re not that dangerous.”

  “Aren’t I? I could hurt you, or Kat.”

  Jackson chuckled, the sound deep and rumbling. “I’ve faced far worse things than you, son. Take a seat, eat your food, then we’ll find you a bed for the barn.”

  “And Katalina?” Zackary quizzed, looking at her like she was a breakable doll, annoying Katalina to no end.

  “She’s leaving,” Jackson said casually.

  Katalina gritted her teeth to keep from yelling. “She is not, and she can take care of herself.”

  “Her ability to take care of herself was never in question. I only guessed she’d be going after her mate and making sure he was okay,” Jackson said, calm and appearing disinterested. Though his smile made Katalina want to slap him.

  “Fine,” she huffed. “But I’ll be back later, Zac. Should I bring your family?”

  For a moment, Zackary’s eyes shone, then the light vanished. “No… not yet.”

  Glaring at Jackson before departing, Katalina set out to find Bass, her frustration evident in every step. It wasn’t that she didn’t understand how unstable Zackary was; she’d been there herself when she’d first turned. Yet what she didn’t want to happen was for Zackary to be afraid of himself. Fear wouldn’t help anyone. He needed to believe in himself, believe he could have a normal life, even while being a shifter. If Zackary didn’t have faith in himself, then it wouldn’t matter the time that passed by or the control he gained; he’d never move on.

  Unable to track Bass down, Katalina headed home. Arne greeted her with glee as she walked in, his tail wagging in earnest. “You seen grumpy face?” she asked him, rubbing his body as he leaned against her. There was no fresh scent in the air so Katalina knew he’d not been home in a while. “Wanna go for a run?” Katalina asked her dog as she pulled off the first layer of her clothing.

  Jumping up and down, Arne whined in excitement. There was nothing the dog loved more than going for a walk with a wolf. Katalina smiled. She could always rely on Arne to treat her the same. It didn’t matter if she were human or wolf, in danger or not. To her dog, Katalina would always be the same.

  “Come on then.” She laughed as the last piece of clothing dropped to the floor. Once at the door, she opened it and shifted.

  Arne barked at her as she leaped from the porch, and barked back. They headed for the trees, a snow-white wolf and German Shepard loping side by side.

  Passing Nico, she glanced at him as he called, “He’s by the lake. Go easy on him, Kat. He’s in a foul mood.”

  Making a low howl in response, Katalina headed for the lake. She didn’t go at full speed, or else Arne wouldn’t have been able to keep up. Still, it wasn’t long until the lake was in view and the speck of a lone black wolf could be seen by the water’s edge.

  Shifting, Katalina waited for Arne to catch her up. “Go play,” she said, before approaching Bass. “I thought this place was my refuge, not yours.” The black wolf looked up with such sadness in his eyes, it sent her to her knees. “Talk to me,” she pleaded softly.

  He shifted. Sitting beside her, Bass looked out over the water and spoke, “I like anywhere that reminds me of you.”

  “What’s going on with you, Bass? You haven’t been yourself since the attack. Kyle’s dead. We survived….” It upset her that he continuously shut her out when it was clear Bass was feeling troubled.

  “If only Kyle had been our biggest problem. And I’m not so sure we survived.”

  “What do you mean?” Her anxiety grew. Bass sounded defeated. Tired of life.

  “Castor isn’t going to stop, and when Bill is ousted, it will send a shockwave through the pack I’m not sure we can handle.”

  “We’ll get through this. You’ll get us through this,” Katalina assured him, taking hold of his hand. Bass had stumbled lately, but that didn’t mean she didn’t believe in him. She had faith in their love. Had faith both packs would come out whole if they stuck together.

  “I used to think that, but lately….”

  “Bass, stop this. Stop doubting yourself.”

  “Why? Ever since I took over this pack, bad things have followed.”

  “Because before you became alpha everything was sunshine and unicorns.” Katalina moved so that she was in front of him, blocking his view of the water. He looked to the ground. “Look at me,” she ordered, frustrated. Irritation crept into her tone.

  He met her gaze.

  “Yes, things are bad. Bu
t they were bad before. Don’t forget that. One step at a time, Bass.”

  “And what’s my next step, Kat? Because I’ve never felt so lost.”

  She sighed, sorrow for Bass washing away her annoyance. “First off, you need to stop hiding from me. You’re not my alpha. You’re my mate. And you’re not alone.”

  Bass sighed deeply. “I know…. I’m sorry for shutting you out.”

  Leaning forward, Katalina kissed him. When she pulled away, she pressed her hand to his cheek. “And as for Bill, I think it is time we set a trap for him and put an end to this once and for all.”

  “Could be risky,” he warned, though his expression picked up a little.

  “Not as risky as being stuck in limbo. Our pack needs to move forward. We need to rebuild. Living in a broken ruin serves as a reminder of what happened, and it’s affecting everyone,” she said, her tone leaving no room for doubt. It was time justice was served and the traitor caught. No more waiting. Action had to be taken.

  Bass sat up straighter, smiling as the uncertainty left his gaze. “What do you have in mind?” Bass asked, pulling her down on top of him.

  She laughed, willingly falling into his arms, pleased to see him looking more himself. “Haven’t a clue, but I’m sure between the lot of us, we’ll come up with something.”

  “And who might the lot of us be?”

  “You know… the gang.”

  Shaking his head, Bass laughed for what must have been the first time in days. The sound like music to her ears, warming her heart. “We’ll assemble the Scooby gang later. At this moment in time, I have more pressing matters.”

  Giggling, Katalina kissed him before coming up for air. “Wait. Since when do you watch TV?”

  “I don’t, but my best friend does. I’ve picked a few bits up over the years.”

  “Scooby gang.” She laughed.

  “Stop talking and kiss me.”

  And though she didn’t take orders often, this one time she obeyed. When it came to kissing Bass, nothing in the world could stop her.

  Chapter 22

  Regan gazed out of the window, her mind on the wolf disappearing into the darkness. He wasn’t visible anymore, but she could feel him all around her. The absence of him, the loss of his touch, the whisper of his breath over her skin. He was nowhere and everywhere. She was lost to him. He was her everything. Yet he was her biggest secret. Her greatest threat.

  “What are you looking at, sweetie?”

  Regan visibly jumped. “Oh,” she gasped, her hand landing on her chest to keep her heart from escaping. “Mom… I didn’t hear you open the door.”

  I thought the door was locked? Her gaze traveled from her mom’s face to the lock. Was I really that careless? That stupid?

  Regan always locked her door. She was careful, overly so… yet she’d begun to slip. Her fear and caution replaced with excitement and need. She hadn’t locked the door; she’d been running late, Tyler had already been in her room when she’d entered. It was a miracle she’d shut it.

  Her heart pounded at the thought of what could have happened. If her mom had walked in, if she’d found him there…. A shudder rolled down her spine.

  Her mom noticed. “Close the window, Regan, a storm is blowing in.”

  And there was, in more ways than one. What had started out as a gentle breeze, a bit of fun, had grown into a full-blown tornado. They were hurtling along, and sooner or later someone was going to get hurt from their destructive path.

  Shutting the window, Regan then turned and faced her mother fully. “Did you need anything, Mom?”

  “Just coming to see if you’d eaten yet.”

  “No, not yet.” It was late, and she was hungry, but she’d been hungrier for things other than food when she’d first arrived home. Tyler’s shifts meant their time together over the last few weeks had been limited.

  “There’s leftover lasagna in the fridge. I was just going to heat a plate for myself. Shall I heat one for you?”

  “Thanks, Mom, that would be great.”

  Her mom smiled before turning away and heading for the door, but she paused in the threshold, half looking back. “Are you okay, Regan?”

  No. Regan gazed at her mother’s face, taking in the little crease in her brow, the wide, concerned eyes. She wanted desperately to tell her, to admit she was falling for someone, and that keeping it a secret was killing her. But her mother was one of the reasons Regan and Tyler were sneaking around. Neither of her parents could ever find out. Yet it was inevitable. She was living on borrowed time, going through the motions until she could be whole again. If Regan was smart, she’d have held back, protected her heart from the possibility of being torn apart.

  Being smart was something she was known for—smart, reliable Regan. It was why having a secret relationship was so easy, why Tyler climbed in through the window at all hours. Her parents would never expect her to do what she was doing; she was a good girl. She followed the rules. Yet Regan hadn’t always been that way. There was a time in her life when letting a man in through her window wouldn’t have been the most scandalous thing she’d have done. Another life, another time, when things were simpler, when she’d had a mother, father, and sister. But those times were gone. Her sister was gone, and not only had her sister’s death changed the course of her life years ago, but it was also haunting her future. Tainting the love that she and Tyler had.

  Regan hoped for a happy ending, a way out with her heart intact, but she knew all too well, life didn’t often go as planned.

  Forcing a smile, Regan swallowed the guilt lodged in her throat and answered her mom with what she hoped was a happy tone. “All good, Mom. I’m all good.”

  Her mom turned away, buying the act, and Regan let out a heavy breath, thanking the universe for granting her more time. For another day where she could pretend a future with Tyler as her mate was a possibility.

  Chapter 23

  Tyler was on edge, the wolf inside of him pacing. Grinding his teeth, he looked up, seeing a sprinkling of stars through the canopy of trees above.

  Really? This isn’t funny anymore. A little break would be nice! Tyler wasn’t sure he believed in a god, and if there was one, he had a cruel sense of humor. Yet he believed in fate, that the universe had a plan. Anna had confirmed just as much. He just wished that plan had a fewer mountains to climb.

  He was on night patrol, expecting William as his River Run partner, but instead, Noah—Regan’s father—had appeared through the trees. His heart had stalled, dread flowing through his body like a thousand tiny needles. Regan had filled his mind, and the panic coursing through him almost had Tyler running to find her, be damned the consequences of their secret relationship. But Noah had held out his hand, a cross between a smile and a grimace on his face.

  Confusion had replaced dread. When Noah introduced himself, it took Tyler a few seconds to respond, for his heart to beat again and his brain to compute. Noah hadn’t been there to confront him; he was covering for William’s shift.

  Tyler had never expected to cross paths with Regan’s father during pack duties because the man wasn’t dominant in the least, but River Run didn’t have as many packmates as Dark Shadow, and Tyler guessed sometimes Jackson had to make do.

  A text had come through from Bass seconds after Tyler had shaken Noah’s hand, explaining the change in people. But that didn’t ease the turmoil inside of him, didn’t lesson the fear and guilt churning in his gut. Or stop Anna’s words from ringing through his skull.

  “You’re late,” Noah said, voice sharp, and clearly telling Tyler he hated Dark Shadow.

  Tyler dropped his gaze from the night sky and plastered a smile on his face. Turning to face Noah, he said, “Sorry, I was held up.” I was in your daughter’s bed, her naked skin beneath mine…. Oh, fuck I’m doomed. It’s gonna be a long night.

  Noah’s answer was a glare and he said little else for the rest of the night. Leaving Tyler with the knowledge that Regan’s father’s hatred ran deep.
So deep he feared it would never be changed.

  In the murky gray light of early morning, Tyler made his way home. Passing the charred remains of several Dark Shadow homes, he came to his own cabin and jogged up the steps onto the deck out front. His had also been damaged in the last battle with the Indiana pack, but with the limited space available, he’d decided to cover the hole in his roof with a tarpaulin and put up with the scent of burnt wood. Dragging his T-shirt over his head and then unbuckling his jeans, Tyler crawled into bed, his heart heavy and soul weary.

  It had been a long night. While Noah hadn’t outright voiced his opinions, it had also been clear the man wasn’t planning on making friends with any Dark Shadow members. So not only did Tyler feel guilty spending the night patrolling with the father of the woman he was having a secret relationship with, it was also a reminder that Regan’s parents would never approve. Even if Tyler managed to convince his alpha pair their relationship wouldn’t threaten the alliance, there was just too much bad blood between Regan’s parents and Dark Shadow. He understood why, but that didn’t make it any easier to swallow.

  Falling into a fitful sleep, he dreamed of Regan, but it was anything but peaceful. Tyler tossed and turned, his conscience eating at him. His troubles haunting his every breath. He kept telling himself they’d be all right eventually. That somehow, someway they’d find a way through with their hearts intact, yet as days slipped by into weeks, it was becoming clear that not all dreams were a possibility.

  Chapter 24

  Katalina took a pastry from the many plates on offer in front of her. “All pack meetings should be here from now on,” she said, before taking a mouthful of cinnamon danish.

  “I had wondered why Anna brought home so many cakes and pastries,” Cage said. “But as much as I love you, Kat, my house is not a meeting room, and since when did pack meetings involve both River Run and Dark Shadow?”