“I wish you could come with me.” Regan sighed.
“One day, baby, one day.”
Gosh, I hope so….
“I better go, Regan, before the kid starts wondering where I’ve gone. Text me when you get home, okay?”
“I will, and thanks, Ty. Thanks for understanding.”
“It’s my job, babe. Now go have fun. Love you.”
“Love you too,” she whispered, then ended the call.
Taking a deep, calming breath, Regan texted Mia back, then dialed Katalina’s number, nerves like butterflies flapping in her belly. I’m really doing this. I’m really goddamned doing this.
And she hoped that wherever Megan was, she was smiling down on her, probably shouting, it’s about freaking time!
Chapter 29
Katalina had been surprised by Regan’s invite. She considered the woman a friend, but they weren’t exactly close. Not invite-out-for-drinks close anyway, though Katalina wasn’t about to complain. She needed all the friends she could get, and Regan was a good way to start. A night out with some fellow girls was just the reprieve she needed from Bass’s not-so-pleasant mood.
She didn’t blame him. Bass was under a lot of stress, and Katalina knew adding Zackary into the mix hadn’t helped things, yet she’d be damned if the Indiana pack was going to affect the very core of who she was. It wasn’t in her to turn away from someone in need, nor was it in her to stay in just to please a man. Katalina understood why Bass would have rather her turn down Regan’s invite, but she couldn’t follow through. Where she came from, it was normal to meet with friends and have a few drinks. And as life became more complicated, she needed normal more than ever.
The compromise had been a bodyguard. Logan was currently sitting at the bar chatting to Cage, and for the most part, the men were acting discreetly so Katalina could ignore their presence.
“You know, Jackson has never insisted on a guard before,” Mia said, leaning toward her so she could be heard over the music. “I mean, we’re all mostly dominant here, and quite capable of protecting ourselves if need be.”
“I suspect he’s here because of me,” Katalina explained, cringing. “Sorry about that. Bass probably rang him the second my back was turned. It would have been the only way he got away with two guards watching me.”
“Doesn’t bother us,” Mia said. “I mean, we don’t need to elect a sober driver now.” She laughed. “Bet it’s frustrating for you though.”
“Honestly, I’m just pleased I was allowed out the door.” Katalina shrugged. “And that Bass isn’t here looming over us all.”
Katalina picked up her rum and Coke, draining the last of the drink. Dropping the glass back on the table, she rose to her feet. “Next round is on me.” She smiled. “But first, a visit to the ladies’ room.”
“I’ll come with you,” Regan said, getting to her feet.
So far Regan had been mostly quiet and looking a little out of place. Katalina linked her arm through Regan’s, heading for the bathroom. She squeezed her arm slightly, smiling warmly at her.
Cage and Logan were on their feet the second she stepped away from the table.
“Bathroom,” Katalina mouth, eyeing them firmly, indicating there was no need to follow.
They stared back, uncertainty in their gazes, but when Katalina didn’t back down, they gave in. Cage shook his head as he sat back on his stool, his eyes followed her all the way across the room.
“Sorry, I didn’t think about it being a problem with you coming out,” Regan murmured as she glanced at Cage.
“God, no, don’t be sorry, Regan. In all honesty, I probably needed this night more than you. Things at home aren’t all that great. I feel like Bass and I are on completely different wavelengths at the minute.”
Regan let out a long, slow breath. “If we’re being honest, I’m not sure I needed this night. I feel totally out of my depth.”
Katalina pushed through into the toilets, the door closing behind her and dulling some of the noise. She studied Regan for a moment. “There’s a change in you.”
Regan’s wide gaze met hers, bewilderment and a little fear in them. “Is there?”
Stepping forward, Katalina pulled her into a hug. “Yes, keep going. You’re on the right track,” she whispered near her ear. “I know a little about feeling lost. Hell, somedays I still am. So I want you to know, Regan, you aren’t the only one fumbling around through life without a clue as to what you’re doing.”
Regan’s smile was a little hesitant, but the fear cleared from her eyes. “Thanks, Kat.”
“I’m good at listening if you ever want to talk. To be honest, I could do with someone to talk to.”
“I’d really like that. My mom wasn’t impressed with my plans for tonight. She’s been acting like I’ve turned into some irresponsible teenager. It’s really difficult at home right now.”
“Well, you’re not being irresponsible, Regan. You’re being normal. It must be hard for your mom too though, I guess. Maybe she feels like she’s losing you, however irrational that is.”
Regan turned away and walked to the bathroom mirror, fixing her hair as she stared at herself. Katalina wondered what it must be like to have the same face as the sister she’d lost. Whether she grieved every time she looked at herself. Katalina knew sorrow well, but she couldn’t imagine the pain Regan had gone through and still contended with.
“I feel guilty for causing her more pain.” Regan sighed. “But I can’t stay in the darkness of Megan’s death any longer.”
Katalina joined her at the mirror, brushed a few strands of her own hair back into place before meeting Regan’s gaze in the mirror. “Don’t feel guilty for being braver than she is. Lead the way for them, Regan. They’ll catch you up eventually.”
Regan brushed away a stray tear that rolled down her cheek. “I hope so,” she whispered.
“Give it time.” Katalina hugged Regan. “Right. That’s enough heavy crap for one night. Don’t you think?” Katalina smiled, leaning her head on Regan’s shoulder as she wrapped her arm around her. “I haven’t done this whole ‘girls’ night’ thing in a while, but I’m pretty certain we’re supposed to be having fun.”
Regan laughed.
“Pee first, then I’m ordering us a round of shots. If we’re going to have bodyguards, we might as well let our hair down and make the most of it!” Katalina declared.
The girls finished up, leaving the bathroom a little lighter and with a friendship that had bonded over shared loss. Laughing, the two skipped onto the dance floor, and moved to the beat, their bodies twisting, their hearts pounding. And for a while, Katalina didn’t think about Bass and the distance he’d put between them, or how far away she felt from the person she’d once been. For that fraction of time, Katalina was happy. She was free.
Chapter 30
Regan – Ty, you were totally right. A few drinks worked wonders.
She smiled down at her phone as the screen glowed, Tyler’s replying text coming through seconds later.
Tyler – I’m always right. Remember that. :) :)
Regan – Though I totally see through your asking Katalina out suggestion. How convenient that she’d have guards, so you don’t need to worry.
Tyler – I’ve no idea what you mean. :) :) :) :)
“Who’s texting you that’s causing that smile?” Mia asked, nudging her shoulder.
Regan hid her phone against her chest. “None of your business,” she said, trying to hide her happiness.
Mia grinned wickedly. “Like that is it? Well, if he makes you smile like that, he must be doing something right. But enough on that phone. Come dance with me.”
“Oh, I’m not—”
Mia didn’t give her a chance to answer, Regan found herself dragged to her feet and onto the dance floor seconds later. She only just had the chance to slip her phone back into her jeans pocket before Mia was grabbing her hands and lifting them into the air as she jumped up and down laughing. And as nervo
us as Regan was a few moments ago, Mia’s silliness had her laughing and forgetting all about it. She threw her head back, closing her eyes as she moved her hips to the music. And for just a second, it was as if Megan had never died; she was the Regan from the past. She was her true self.
It was late. Far later than she’d ever expected to stay out, and to her surprise, she wasn’t in the least bit ready to go home to an empty bed.
Regan – On our way home. Wish you were waiting for me :(
Tyler – One day, baby. One day <3 <3
Dropping her phone into her bag, Regan rested her head on Mia’s shoulder, so pleased to have her old friend back. “I don’t want to go home,” she moaned.
Mia laughed. “One night has you back into a party monster.”
“Come on, it’s only half past twelve.”
“Only. Some of us have patrol in the morning,” Mia answered.
Patrol… I’d be doing it too if my life hadn’t derailed. Regan sat straight, visibly shaking her head to dislodge the thought. Now I really don’t want to go home and be alone. She pouted and contemplated showing up on Tyler’s door, but Zackary put a hole in that plan. Maybe I should just screw it all and tell everyone?
Katalina saved her from her crazy thoughts. “Come back to my place. I’ve no plans for the morning.”
“Are you sure? Won’t Bass be bothered I’m River Run?”
Katalina grabbed her hand, linking her fingers through hers. “Of course not.” She squeezed. “You should totally sleepover. It will be so much fun.” Her face turned thoughtful. “Though, we live in kinda a hovel since the fire.” Katalina’s face screwed up. “I’m so over living like a homeless person.”
Several people in the car laughed.
“I don’t know why you’re all laughing. It’s the truth. You know I used to own a house. An actual whole house, with a roof and everything.”
“I’m sure you will again,” Mia said.
“Sorry, I ruined the mood, huh?” Katalina sighed. “Forget my moans. You should all come back for drinks.”
“Kat,” Logan warned from the driver seat.
“Oh, shut up, you,” Katalina replied, poking out her tongue.
Regan couldn’t help but laugh. Katalina’s complete lack of concern when it came to the intermingling of the packs made Regan wish she was more like her. That she had just a fraction of Katalina’s confidence and faith.
Maybe we should tell Kat…. She almost opened her mouth then and there, but thought better of it. I’ll ask Ty first.
“No need to panic, Logan. I’ve got to be up in five hours, and so does Holly. My bed is calling me I’m afraid, ladies, but go drink until dawn. I’ll come and laugh at you when I get off shift.”
It was Regan’s turn to poke her tongue out. “I remember a time when you’d have skipped sleep altogether.”
“What can I say? I’m getting old,” Mia responded.
“We’re here,” Logan said as the brake lights lit up from the car in front. He turned around in his seat, his gaze scanning them but lingering on Mia a little longer than her and Katalina. “Don’t look very old from where I’m sitting, Mia.” He winked.
“It’s dark,” Mia replied, not reacting to his attempt at charm. Katalina giggled.
Cage climbed out of the car, coming to Logan’s window. “It was great hanging with you, dude. See you around, yeah?”
“Bye, Cage,” Katalina called from the back seat. “I’m stealing Regan for the night. Let Jackson know please.”
Cage saluted her before walking back to his car.
“Bye, Mia,” Regan murmured, taking in her old friend. “Thanks for inviting me.”
“Anytime,” Mia replied, dragging her into a hug. “Don’t be a stranger.” Mia searched Regan’s gaze, hers glistening with unshed tears.
Swallowing the sudden lump in her throat, Regan was unable to answer with words, so she smiled and nodded. Her time of hiding was over. She knew her parents wouldn’t be happy with her rekindled social life, but it wasn’t a good enough reason to lessen herself anymore. She couldn’t do it, and in her heart, Regan knew it wouldn’t be what Megan would have wanted either. She just hoped her parents would catch up soon too.
Chapter 31
Moaning, Regan brought a hand to her throbbing head, hoping to keep her skull from splitting in two. Opening one eye, she groaned louder, shielding her face as she opened the other. It took her a second or two for her vision to clear and focus on her surroundings. Katalina was sitting opposite her, knees tucked up to her chin, a mug of something hot and steaming in her hands. “Morning,” she whimpered, a crease appearing on her brow as if in pain.
“It’s nearly noon,” Bass said, appearing behind Katalina. “Coffee, Regan?”
“Hmm, please,” Regan answered softly, afraid to speak too loudly and cause herself more pain. He returned a moment later and handed her a mug. Without alcohol in her system as a confidence boost, Regan felt suddenly shy and awkward for being there. “Sorry, I’ll be out of your hair shortly.”
Bass’s face softened. “Don’t leave on my account. I’ve got to head out anyway. I’m sure Kat will love to have the company.” He leaned down, kissing Katalina on the cheek, then his grin turned wicked, and it was the first time Regan had seen Bass as anything other than an alpha. “You can suffer together.”
Katalina pulled a face. “Stop enjoying this so much. This is your fault,” she groaned.
“How’d you figure that?” Bass asked.
“Because if you let me out more, I wouldn’t be such a lightweight. I’m a wolf. I’m supposed to be immune to alcohol poisoning.”
Bass chuckled. “There’s an empty bottle of vodka and wine over there. If you were human, you’d be in the hospital.”
“Go away,” Katalina grumbled. “Leave me to die in peace.”
With a grin and a blown kiss, Bass left the cabin.
“I’m so sorry I dragged you here and got you wasted,” Katalina said when Bass left. “I tend to go overboard when I’ve had a few too many drinks.”
Regan took a sip of coffee, then smiled. “Don’t be sorry, Kat. The truth is I was dreading going home last night. I’m grateful you invited me.”
“Your parents?”
“They’d have been none too pleased to find me a little drunk. I turned my phone off after texting them to say I was stopping here.”
Katalina raised an eyebrow then winced as if the movement hurt. “Bet your phone’s going to blow up when you turn it on.”
“Yup, which is exactly why it’s staying off until my head doesn’t feel like it’s going to crack open.”
“Wanna watch a movie on my laptop? We don’t have a TV anymore. It got blown up.” Katalina rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, sure, sounds good.”
Hours later after another few cups of coffee, a movie, and some more sleep, Regan and Katalina were alive enough to venture out of the cabin.
“I can’t wait to have a real house again and an actual kitchen to cook food in. I mean, it’s handy having a pack kitchen nearby, but I’d rather have not got out of bed today,” Katalina rambled on.
Regan jumped in quick as Katalina took a spilt-second break to drag in a breath. “Kat, are you sure I shouldn’t just go home and get food?”
“Are you ready for an earful from your mom?”
“No.” Regan shrugged. “But I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.”
“Probably not,” Katalina agreed. “But a full stomach will help. You’re with me. No one will say a thing.”
“O-kay,” Regan replied, still unsure. A part of her was worried she’d run into Tyler and not be able to act like she hardly knew him. She’d thought about texting him that she was with Katalina, but that would require her switching on her phone and seeing what her parents had to say.
If Regan were honest with herself, the promise she’d made not to hide anymore was already being broken. She was just hiding from a different thing.
They entered a
building, and Regan had to force herself to keep breathing. It was close to 2:00 p.m., but even though it was between meal times there was still at least eight members of Dark Shadow in the room.
A few waved hi to Katalina as she entered. She waved back half-heartedly, too busy scanning the menu board. “So, we’re kinda late for breakfast,” Katalina sighed. “I’d kill for a massive stack of pancakes.”
“No need to kill me for them,” an old lady said, popping her head out from what Regan guessed was the kitchen area.
“Kerry, hi.” Katalina smiled.
“I hear you were a little worse for wear this morning.”
Katalina smiled sheepishly. “Just a little. Kerry, have you met Regan before?”
Katalina stepped to the side, allowing Kerry full view of Regan. “Hello, nice to meet you,” Regan said.
“You too. So, are you after pancakes too? I’m guessing you were Katalina’s partner in crime?”
Regan laughed softly. “I was I’m afraid, and pancakes would be lovely, thank you.”
“Take a seat, girls. I’ll have them to you shortly.”
Katalina led Regan over to a table in the far corner. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve had way too much coffee today. Tea instead?”
“I’d love an herbal tea actually, if they have anything like that?”
“Yup, we’ll have something. Do you have a preference?”
“Mint is my favorite, but any will do,” Regan replied.
It was a short while later, after their pancakes had arrived and they were happily stuffing their faces and chatting, that Regan’s back stiffened as a familiar voice stammered her name. Katalina locked eyes with her. Regan forced what she hoped was a smile on her face before turning away from Katalina and facing Tyler.
“Hey, Tyler,” she answered smoothly. “How’re things?”
“How’re things?” He frowned. “What are you doing here?”
Katalina cut in. “Rude much!” She glared at Tyler.
Lost Wolf (A New Dawn Novel Book 4) Page 12