Lost Wolf (A New Dawn Novel Book 4)

by Rachel M Raithby

  Tyler seemed to snap back into himself, his eyes roaming over Katalina then Regan. “Sorry, that came out wrong. I just… I didn’t expect to see you here.”

  “We went out for a few drinks last night and decided to continue the party back here,” Katalina answered for her.

  “Hi, Kat,” the boy behind Tyler said.

  Tyler glanced back at the boy as if just remembering he was there. Regan wanted the ground to swallow her up. Here she’d been worrying about seeing him and not being able to keep her cool, and she’d never once thought about the possibility of Tyler not being able to keep his cool.

  “Hi, Zac, I hope Tyler here is treating you nicely. Come see me if you’ve got any problems, okay?” Katalina answered.

  “Hmm… yeah, ’kay. Ty’s cool, don’t worry,” Zackary reassured.

  So, this is the boy who’s messed up our secret meetings. Regan looked Tyler in the eyes. I miss you, Ty.

  He gazed back at her, and she was sure she read his silent message back. I miss you too.

  Zackary cleared his throat. “Hmm… food, Ty?”

  “Yeah, right, food. Zac’s not stopped eating all day,” Tyler explained.

  “I’m a growing boy,” he countered.

  “Yeah, yeah. Well, it was nice seeing you again, Regan. Later, Kat.” Tyler left with a quick smile and headed with Zackary over to the kitchen entrance.

  “Well, that was awkward,” Katalina observed.

  Regan ducked her head, concentrating on her food.

  “The two of you had a thing right, at that party I threw months ago? Seems like a lifetime.”

  Regan felt her cheeks heat. “I didn’t know that was common knowledge,” she mumbled.

  “It’s not. Alpha’s mate, remember?”

  Regan laughed. “I actually forget that fact on occasion.”

  “It’s all right.” Katalina shrugged. “I’m not all that alphary.”

  Regan looked up, studying Katalina’s face; while she’d said the words as if in jest, Regan got the sense the fact bothered her a little, like she thought it was a flaw.

  “It’s not a bad thing, Kat. It’s good you’re not like that. We need you to not be like that.”

  “That’s good then, ’cause I’m not planning on changing.”

  The next few minutes were spent eating with the occasional chitchat. Not long after Tyler had arrived, Regan sensed him leave, though she tried her hardest not to look at the exit as he did. She imagined he’d be blowing up her phone later, which only made her not want to turn it on even more, but it seemed life had other plans because Bass entered a few minutes after Tyler had left.

  “Hi,” he said as he walked over to their table. “Regan, I’ve just had Jackson on the phone. Apparently your parents have been trying to call you, and I’ve got to come and check if you’re alive.”

  “Sorry,” Regan replied. “It’s dead.”

  “Anyone would think you were twelve, not nineteen,” Katalina added.

  Regan smiled. “They worry, after…. Well, I best be going. Thanks for the pancakes, and… everything else, Kat.”

  “No problem. Anytime.” Katalina smiled warmly.

  “I can give you a lift back if you like?” Bass offered.

  “That’s all right. I think the walk will do me good.”

  “I’ll walk you to the border then,” he said with a smile.

  “Okay.” Regan hugged Katalina then got to her feet. With each step away from Katalina and toward home, she became heavier, her feet harder to lift.

  “Everything okay?” Bass asked softly as they neared Dark Shadow’s boundary.

  Regan glanced at him, seeing in his gaze that he meant what he was asking. She’d never spent much time around the Dark Shadow alpha, but if today’s encounters were anything to go by, it seemed Bass was a pretty good guy.

  “Yeah, just not looking forward to the argument that’s coming.”

  “I take it they aren’t the biggest fans of the alliance?”

  “No, no, it’s not—”

  “It’s all right. I know we still have a lot of ground to cover on healing the wounds between our two packs, but I have hope.” Bass smiled warmly. “Sleepovers such as last night give me that hope.”

  “Katalina is the hope.”

  Bass paused as they came to the boundary. An expression filled his face that could only be described as one thing: pure, unadulterated love. “Yes, she is. She’s the hope for many things, but not all are ready for it, so we must tread carefully into this new and uncertain future.”

  Regan had no answer to Bass’s words; they’d hit home more than she guessed Bass realized. She too was treading carefully into a new and uncertain future. At least, she was trying to. Most days it felt like she was crashing through it headfirst, but she too was going to have hope. Hope and faith that somehow, they’d all get through it in one piece.

  “Well, see you around, Regan. Get home safe.”

  Chapter 32

  Tyler watched Regan being escorted from Dark Shadow by Bass with an ugly pit of jealousy in his gut. Seeing her in the pack’s kitchen had affected him more than he cared to admit. He’d most definitely not kept his cool.

  “You got a thing for that chick?” Zackary asked, stepping up behind him and looking over his shoulder. “She’s hot. Seems a bit shy though… not that that’s a bad thing.”

  Tyler swallowed the urge to snarl and reminded himself the kid had no idea about pack workings and having a motormouth wasn’t a good enough reason to kill him. He’d been quiet the first few hours, but once he’d realized Tyler wasn’t planning on growling at him for being there, the kid opened up. But maybe a little too much.

  “She’s not from this pack,” Tyler said.

  “What’s that matter? She’s still hot. You should totally bang her.”

  Tyler couldn’t contain the growl that erupted from him this time. Zackary stumbled back, but when Tyler turned to face him, there was aggression on his face. Aggression it was clear Zackary was struggling to control.

  “Not sure where you come from, but where I come from, we don’t speak about women that way. My father wouldn’t be too pleased to hear me say a thing like that.”

  The kid clenched his fists as he slowly regained a little control. “Mine wouldn’t either. Sorry, I kinda fell in with the wrong crowd back home. Guess their douchebag ways rubbed off on me.”

  “I’d work on that,” Tyler suggested.

  Zackary nodded. “So that girl?”

  Not going to drop it then. Tyler internally rolled his eyes, then closed his door and turned to face Zackary. “Is from River Run, so therefore it doesn’t matter what I think.”

  “You like her, though, right? I mean you were a stammering mess earlier in the food hall.”

  “Kitchen. And I was not.”

  “Pfft. So was.” The kid rolled his eyes, and Tyler had the urge to strangle him.

  “Fine, I think she’s attractive. Happy now?”

  “Sure, ecstatic,” he answered sarcastically.

  “Great. Now give me a bit of peace. I’ve got a training session to plan.”

  “Ugh, but I’m bored, and you haven’t even got a TV.”

  “Read a book,” Tyler suggested, waving his hand at the collection he had stacked in the corner.

  “A book!” Zackary groaned.

  “Look, Zac, in an hour, you’ll be meeting some of the other kids your age, and I can get a true sense of the control you have, but until that time, I’m afraid you’re stuck bored with me.”

  “Should have stayed at Jackson’s,” he grumbled under his breath.

  Tyler didn’t reply. Part of him wished he had.

  Cooper leaped out of the way as Zackary shifted without control, snarling at him savagely.

  “Shit,” the boy swore.

  “Zac,” Tyler snarled, closing in on him. “Calm yourself.”

  Zackary growled back, glancing at the kids behind Tyler, not with aggression but embarrassment.

/>   “Session’s over,” Tyler announced to the group behind him, without taking his focus from Zackary. They didn’t need telling twice. A minute later, it was just Tyler and one very confused, pissed-off wolf.

  “Okay, Zac, it’s just you and me now. Can you shift?”

  The wolf looked pained.

  “Tell you what, I’ve got a better idea. Let’s wear that wolf of yours out.” Stripping his clothes quickly, Tyler shifted, racing past Zackary with a playful nip and bark. It took Zackary all of two seconds to move into action and follow.

  Tyler darted through the trees, making sure to lead Zackary away from the more popular areas of Dark Shadow and anyone who may get in the way. Zackary was surprisingly fast, keeping up with Tyler well. Deciding to up the game a little, Tyler began to make sharp changes in direction, leading them across terrain that would require careful thought and not just the brunt of the wolf. This slowed Zackary down, the exercise making the kid have to connect both his human brain and wolf. They ran for miles, only stopping when Tyler’s muscles began to ache.

  As Tyler came to a stop, Zackary did too, the boy shifting immediately and collapsing on the ground.

  “Ugh, I wished clothes stayed with the shift,” he gasped between breath.

  Tyler shifted. “Gotta get used to the nudity.” He chuckled. “Do you think you can shift back for a slow walk home?”

  “Not sure.”

  “Have you ever voluntarily shifted?”

  He shook his head.

  “Well, now would be a good time to work on that,” Tyler suggested.

  “Hhh, give us a minute. I’m wiped.”

  Tyler smiled. “Good job I didn’t go at full speed, then.”

  “That wasn’t full speed?” Zackary gasped.

  “Not even nearly, little wolf. You’ve got a long way to go.”

  He grumbled incoherently, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. “Cooper and the others probably think I’m a total a-hole.”

  “Nah, they won’t. They’ve all been there.”

  “So, they’ve all shifted without control and made a total fool of themselves?” he asked unbelievably.

  “You’d be surprised, Zac. I’d say at least 90 percent of them have.”

  “Still.”

  “You’ve got a long road to walk, Zac. I’m not going to lie, but you’ll get there. And Cooper and the others will understand, you’ll see.”

  “Okay.”

  He didn’t sound all that convinced, but Tyler knew now wasn’t the time to push him. “You good? Ready to try a shift, or are you walking back nude?”

  Zackary rolled his eyes. “What do I do?”

  “Take a few deep breaths. Let all the tension drain from your body, then think of your wolf. The feel of it, the power and speed that floods you, that feeling of complete freedom, let it all fill you up and then let go.”

  A few minutes later, Zackary screwed up his face in frustration and glared at Tyler. “It’s not working. Can’t you just punch me or something?”

  Tyler laughed. “No, I can’t. Now come on, believe in yourself. You’ve got this.”

  The kid closed his eyes and dragged in a deep breath before letting it slowly out. Tyler saw the second he’d cracked it. Zackary’s entire body seemed to sigh and then the next moment, it was morphing into a wolf.

  Amber eyes set in a tawny wolf face met his with amazement.

  “You did it.” Tyler smiled. “Told you, you could.” He shifted, then indicated with a flick of his head and soft growl for Zackary to follow. Their path through the trees was more sedate on the journey back. Tyler could feel Zackary’s wonderment as he wove through the forest. He’d been running at full speed in more ways than one since becoming a wolf shifter, and Tyler suspected he was finally beginning to see that wolf life wasn’t all that bad.

  Chapter 33

  It had been four days. Four days without seeing her, four days without tasting her lips. He couldn’t take it anymore. Tyler was on the verge of madness with the uncontrollable need inside of him. Just to see her, to hold her, just for a moment.

  They’d come back late from a meeting with the kid’s dad at Jackson’s. Bass had thought the River Run alpha’s home was a better setting than the burnt down ruin they currently had at Dark Shadow. The meeting had gone well, with Zackary’s dad agreeing to help rebuild Dark Shadow. Bass and he had slipped away later in the evening, and Tyler had filled Bass in on all he’d learned about the kid. He’d informed Bass about the incident with Cooper but noted that it wasn’t aggression toward Cooper that had triggered the unwanted shift but at himself. Zackary seemed not to like himself all that much. His lack of skill and control frustrated Zackary to the point of losing himself to the wolf. Yet in four days, Tyler had seen improvement. He wasn’t a bad kid, just lost, like so many others had been in Dark Shadow and still were.

  The meeting had tired Zackary in more ways than one, and not long after they’d arrived home, he’d fallen asleep on the rollaway bed they’d dragged in for him.

  Tyler was currently staring at the kid, contemplating if he’d wake up and if he did, would he be a danger if Tyler was gone? There’d been no talks of Zackary returning to stay with his family at the local bed and breakfast in town. It appeared he’d be a long-term guest in Tyler’s home, and normally, it wouldn’t have bothered him, but nothing about Tyler’s life was normal at the moment.

  I’ll be quick, he told himself, easing the guilt inside. Even if he does wake up, would it matter? He’ll likely just roll over and go back to sleep…. He won’t wonder where I am. I’ll leave a note, just to be on the safe side.

  Picking up a pen and note pad, Tyler quickly jotted down a message.

  Gone for a run. Stay inside. Won’t be long.

  Tyler left the note on the floor beside Zackary, gazing at him for a moment longer just to be certain he was in a heavy sleep.

  I’m not going to be long. Thirty minutes, tops, I’ll run there, kiss her, and run back.

  He reassured himself all the way to River Run, telling himself he only needed to hold her, to breath her into his lungs just for a moment. One kiss wouldn’t hurt. It would be just enough to see him through.

  And it was for the first night, but by the third, one kiss wasn’t nearly enough. His thirst for Regan grew with every passing second. But it wasn’t just the physical desire he struggled with, but being without her completely—talking with her after a long day at work, hearing her opinion on something that was bothering him. It was falling to sleep with her in his arms and waking up with her beautiful face as his first view. Tyler missed Regan beyond measure, and he knew the stolen moments they were having weren’t nearly enough to sustain them into the future. Time had run out. He just had no idea what to do about it.

  Chapter 34

  It was as if a noose had been hung around her neck and being tightened centimeter by centimeter with each passing day. Her parents had become suffocating since she’d stayed out with Katalina all night. The telling off they’d given her on her arrival back that day had made her feel like she was fourteen all over again and being grounded for climbing out of her window and sneaking off with friends. Only she wasn’t fourteen; she was nineteen, a grown woman quite capable of making her own choices. But telling her parents wasn’t going so well. She’d tried to break it to them gently as they shouted at her that afternoon Bass had escorted her off Dark Shadow. Tried to make them see that things had changed, that the Dark Shadow who had killed her sister didn’t exist anymore, but they were too blind in their grief and anger. Even after three years her parents weren’t ready. Regan was beginning to think they may never be.

  To make matters worse, she’d hardly seen Tyler. Zackary had made things impossible for them, not that the kid knew anything about it. The truth was, on the fourth day of not seeing Tyler, if he hadn’t shown up, she’d have gone to him. Their kiss that night had felt like breathing again after nearly drowning. His touch was like electricity across her skin. Time apart had only s
erved to multiply their need for one another, and it was becoming difficult to cope with.

  Regan knew Tyler wanted to tell Katalina, and a part of her did too, but her parents were struggling with simple things like her being friends with Mia again and having a social life. How would they react to the news of Tyler? How could they possibly be okay with it if they weren’t okay with her being friends with someone who’d been her friend for most of her childhood and came from the same pack?

  Time was all they needed, she told herself daily. Time to adjust. When they welcomed Mia back with open arms, she’d introduce Tyler, and everything would suddenly be all right.

  “Keep dreaming,” Regan muttered to herself as she headed out of her bedroom. “Keep dreaming.” Heading downstairs, Regan entered the kitchen finding her mom by the sink.

  “Morning. What are your plans today? You’ve class, right?” Her mom asked, glancing over her shoulder.

  “Yup, morning classes, then an afternoon shift at the café. I’ll be home late though as I’m going to see Mia straight from work.”

  Her mother’s jaw clenched. “Not out drinking I hope?” she asked coolly.

  “No just hanging at her house.”

  “Right,” her mom answered sharply.

  “Mia’s a novice soldier now, you know. She’s not a kid anymore.”

  “Yes, I know.”

  Regan sighed. Turning away from her mom, she grabbed a nutbar out of the pantry, then filled a travel mug with coffee. She was beginning to worry no amount of time was going to prepare her parents for Tyler, and the time instead was to prepare herself for the loss of her parents.

  “Hey, your boyfriend’s just walked in through the front door. Since when does he use the front door?” Johnny said as he poked his head in through the door to the staff room.

  “What?” she gasped.

  “Tyler’s out front. Took a seat in a booth, got a kid with him too. You guys fallen out or something?” he inquired, sounding far too hopeful then he should.