Lost Wolf (A New Dawn Novel Book 4)

by Rachel M Raithby

“Have you thought on where you’d plan to live? Which pack?” Jackson asked.

  Tyler’s heart stuttered. He hadn’t. He’d not thought beyond someone finding out, and he’d never imagined choosing a side.

  “I’ve told you, Jackson, you’re not stealing my enforcer,” Bass grumbled.

  Tyler felt Regan’s gaze on him and focused on her. He could sense the same distress he felt inside of himself, as well as read it on her face.

  “And I told you, you’re not having my girl,” Jackson counted.

  “Oh, for God’s sake you two,” Katalina said, glaring at them both. “It’s so annoying when you’re both acting like ‘I’m the biggest alpha,’ aka two-year-old toddlers. Why exactly do they have to choose?”

  “Because a mate’s bond comes above an alpha’s, which is going to cause issues on whose allegiance they have,” Bass explained.

  “So why doesn’t my allegiance come into question?” Katalina asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “You’re different, Kat, you didn’t grow up here,” Jackson replied.

  “I don’t see why that makes a difference,” she argued. “I’m not special and shouldn’t be treated that way.”

  Tyler watched it all play out with dread building within him. Choose? How can I choose? He was Dark Shadow. It ran though his blood, sunk right down to his very bones. His family was Dark Shadow. If he left, would that mean he’d need permission to enter the inner lands and see his family?

  “I think,” Karen said, appearing in the doorway, her voice carrying over everyone else, “this conversation would be better on a different day, when everyone is well.”

  Silence enveloped the room.

  “So, could someone please tell me what happened after I blacked out? Please tell me you killed the asshole, Kat,” Tyler said into the quiet.

  “No, I didn’t. We fell to the ground together and I couldn’t get you off me in time. You weigh a ton by the way.” She grinned. “Zac saved us.”

  “Zac?” Tyler gasped, shock hitting him. He was too young, not equipped to deal with the emotional implications that came with taking a life. Yet he couldn’t be sorry. If he hadn’t been there, he’d potentially not be here, and Katalina could have died also.

  “He’d decided to follow you. Good job he did really,” Bass explained.

  “Is he all right, though?” Tyler asked. He’d come to care for the kid during their time together. Zackary was like a little brother to him; he’d hate for him to have more emotional baggage. He’d been through enough.

  “He’s getting there,” Katalina said softly. “He wants to see you, but I said to wait until you were up for it.”

  “Maybe tomorrow,” Tyler confirmed. “Tell him I hope he’s okay. And thank you. Were there other attacks?”

  “No,” Bass answered.

  “Strange for Castor to send just one person, and his brother to boot. Surely he didn’t think one man could get through patrol lines?”

  “I think this was Braxton’s rash decision made on emotions over the loss of his half-brother,” Bass said. “Obviously got a little more heart than Castor.”

  “He did seem to be the only one to care for Bill when they were all here. Castor acted as if he didn’t exist,” Tyler added.

  “Yes.” Bass turned serious. “Which is why we never saw Bill coming I guess.”

  Silence filled the room as their thoughts turned to Bill’s betrayal.

  Jackson took a small step closer. “Karen’s said your recovery is going to be long, and I want you to know, Tyler, that whether you choose River Run or not, you’re welcome here in my home. And of course, your family is also until you are well enough to move.”

  Tyler met the other alpha’s gaze, his wolf coming into his eyes as he nodded in submission and thanks. “I appreciate that. Thank you.”

  “Well, we should leave you to rest. I suspect your mother will be here shortly. I think your dad had a hard time stopping her from setting up a vigil at the door. But I thought it would be best for you to both be present when she met Regan,” Bass said.

  “Do they know?” Tyler asked, fear relighting in his gut; though he’d always feared his alpha’s reaction more than his family’s.

  “No,” Bass answered. “At this moment, only a select few in Dark Shadow know, the inner circle, Zac, and I suspect Nico will have told Olivia. There is no need to keep it a secret of course. It just wasn’t ours to tell.”

  “Thanks, all of you,” Tyler answered.

  “All of River Run know. It was a little hard to keep it quiet with Noah kicking down my door, but I don’t want you worrying, Regan,” Jackson added.

  “We’ll come and visit tomorrow with Zac,” Katalina said, coming forward and placing a kiss on Tyler’s cheek. “And thank you,” she whispered, “for protecting me.”

  Tyler saw the guilt in Katalina’s eyes and couldn’t ignore the compulsion to soothe his alpha’s mate. Even though it hurt him to do so, he lifted an unsteady hand, and clasped hers, rubbing his thumb over her skin. “We’re pack. We protect our own. Do not feel guilty, okay?”

  She nodded, blinking hard, then turned to give Regan a hug. “Text if you need me, ’kay.”

  “I will,” Regan promised. “See you tomorrow.”

  Bass came forward and took his hand. For a moment, the pain humming through Tyler’s body subsided, and he couldn’t help but sigh from the relief. When he looked into Bass’s face, it was to see the man’s jaw clench against the pain he was drawing from Tyler’s body. “I’d take all of your pain if I could for protecting Katalina. Thank you.”

  “The fact you didn’t turn Regan away is more than enough. I was doing my job, Bass. You’ve nothing to pay back.” They bowed heads, touching foreheads briefly.

  “Heal fast,” Bass murmured. “Dark Shadow needs you.”

  Minutes later, Tyler was left alone with Regan. “How do we choose?” she asked, her gaze empty.

  “I don’t know, and honestly, right now, I’m in too much pain to even consider it. Please help me lay down on my front.”

  Regan rushed to his side. “Poor baby. I hate seeing you in pain.”

  With great effort and what felt like another marathon, Tyler made it back on his front with the bed laid flat. “I’m going to close my eyes just for a moment,” Tyler panted. “Make sure I’m awake before my parents arrive.”

  Whether she answered or not, Tyler wasn’t sure. The last memory he had was of Regan’s beautiful face creased with concern. Then sleep claimed him and he welcomed it, glad for the numbness it brought.

  Chapter 52

  She watched him sleep as the world passed by, happily hiding, not caring at all that life carried on while she was paused in time. It was a skill Regan had perfected after Megan had been killed, and while she’d begun to move forward again recently, current events had her falling back on old habits.

  If it wasn’t for the pack members slipping almost unseen into the room and leaving her drinks and food, she’d not even bother feeding herself. Tyler was her dream come true, her knight in shining armor who’d rescued her from the dark when she’d not been aware of being lost. Yet he brought with him a consequence she’d feared more than anything—the loss of the rest of her family.

  Regan didn’t regret him and would never want to go back and change her choice because the truth of the matter was Tyler’s loss would be greater, or maybe it was that her true parents had died the day Megan had. Because her mom from before would have noticed Regan had stopped living and only barely survived. She hoped everyone was right in saying they just needed time, yet she feared all the time in the world wouldn’t be enough. That her parents, like she had been, were frozen in time, doing all they could to survive, no matter the cost, never realizing death would be a kinder option. That it was Megan who received the easier deal while the three of them served life behind impenetrable bars.

  “Regan.”

  She looked up, sitting straighter, not sure if she’d imagined the whisper from his lips.
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  “Ty?” she whispered back.

  His eyes didn’t open, yet he replied. “I can feel your pain, baby. I can sense you’re shutting down, locking yourself away.”

  Smiling, Regan got to her feet and crossed the room to his bed. “I’m sorry. Go back to sleep. Your parents are coming in a few hours. Katalina texted me.”

  One of his eyes cracked open. “I can’t sleep if you’re hurting.”

  “I’ll be okay. I have you.”

  He smiled, and Regan reached out and brushed his dark hair from his face as his blue eye closed. She repeated the movement, stroking him gently.

  “Mmm… that’s nice,” he murmured, a smile creasing one side of his mouth.

  “Go to sleep,” she breathed, placing a kiss on his cheek.

  His smile grew a little wider, revealing the dimple in his cheek, before fading away and as she caressed his face, teasing his hair, and then Tyler relaxed, drifting to sleep.

  There was a soft knock, then the door creaked open enough for a head to pop inside.

  “Hey,” Mia said. “Talk outside?”

  Regan nodded before smiling back down at Tyler and then heading out of the door. Before she had a chance to say a word, Mia attacked her with a hug.

  “I can’t believe you’ve found your mate at nineteen. I was hoping to have a few years partying with you at least.”

  Regan laughed softly. “Pretty sure I can still party.”

  “Hmm… you never know, he might be the possessive kind.”

  “We were together the last time we went out. In fact, he was the one who said I should go.”

  Mia grinned. “I love him already. But I’ve gotta tell you, Regan, I kinda don’t love your stench at the moment. Girl, you need a shower and change of clothes.”

  Regan sniffed at herself, then shrugged. “I’ve been a bit busy, plus I’ve got no spare clothes here.”

  “Do you want me to go to your house and collect you a few things?”

  “Actually.” Regan glanced back at the door, wondering if he’d wake if she left for a little while. She was sure he wouldn’t mind if she did. “I need some fresh air. I’ll come with you.”

  Leaving Jackson’s with Mia, Regan swallowed her apprehension and fear. Dad will be at work at least, only mom to face. And she realized as she went step by step toward her house, that maybe the bars she’d been locked behind weren’t impenetrable after all. Tyler had broken through them, and because it hurt him if she became withdrawn, the only option she had was to keep living, even if it meant facing her demons head-on.

  “Nervous?” Mia asked as the house came into view.

  “Terrified,” Regan replied. “Did you hear what my dad did?”

  Mia winced. “Afraid the entire pack is talking about it. On your side of course.”

  “I don’t think there is a side in all of this really. They’re still hurting over Megan.”

  “Doesn’t make what they’ve done right, Regan. You’re hurting over your sister too.”

  “I suppose—” Her words died. “Are they… are they boxes?”

  Mia took hold of her hand. “I’ll go, you stay here.”

  Rage tore through her. She’d forgiven her parents for many things but packing up her stuff and leaving it outside like she no longer mattered was something she couldn’t even comprehend. “No!” Regan ripped her hand from Mia’s. “I’m not hiding like I did something wrong.”

  Marching up to the door, Regan ignored her stuff and grasped the handle, ready to rip it open, but it didn’t give. It was locked. Rattling the handle, she banged on the door, her pent-up anger from years of being alone and repressed surfacing.

  “Mother, open this door!” She banged again, the glass rattling underneath her strength. “I know you’re in there. Open the door. Come face me!”

  “Regan,” Mia tried to soothe, her hand landing on her shoulder.

  “OPEN THE DOOR!” Regan screamed. “Face me, you coward.”

  There was a shuffle across the floor, the Regan caught movement up ahead—her mother’s shadow as she hid down the hall. “Please, Regan, just go.”

  All the rage drained out of her, and Regan placed her palm flat against the door. “Please, Mom,” she begged. No answer came and Regan sucked in a breath, and let her hand fall away, whispering her parting words just loud enough so her mom would hear, “Wherever Megan is right now, she’d be ashamed of you. I’m ashamed of you.”

  Turning away, Regan picked up the nearest box, then stacked another on top, turning her back on her childhood home, on her mom, on the past. She was walking into the future, and if her parents chose to not be beside her, then that was their loss not hers.

  Mia fell into step beside her, after she two collected a couple of boxes. “Are you okay?”

  Regan swallowed the lump in her throat, forced herself to not cry and held her head up high. “Not even nearly,” she answered. “But I will be.” And I’ll keep telling myself that until I believe it.

  “What are you doing?”

  With a frustrated sighed, Regan threw the clothes she held back into the opened box and pulled herself together enough to face Tyler. “I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m sorry.”

  “You didn’t wake me, Regan. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, I’m fine.”

  His mouth lifted into a half smile, as he moved his head from the bed just a little. “You do realize you literally can’t lie to me anymore.”

  Regan smiled, despite herself. “Well, that sucks. Now lay back down before you hurt yourself.”

  “I will when you tell me what’s wrong.”

  Her hands landed on her hips. “I’m trying to find an old T-shirt that was Megan’s so I can go shower. Mia says I stink.”

  “Okay… but that’s not all that is wrong, is it?”

  Regan let her hands fall to her sides then turned to pick up a random pair of jeans and top without really paying much mind whether they matched or not.

  “Regan,” Tyler growled softly.

  “Fine. The boxes you see here were left outside my house, along with a load more all containing my belongings. Mia and a few others have gone to collect them for me.”

  “Your parents chucked out your stuff?” he asked in a tone that was far too controlled.

  She met his gaze. “Yes, Ty, my parents have chucked me out.”

  Out of all the scenarios that had run through Regan’s head, she’d never anticipated Tyler’s next move. Pain and rage surged through the mating bond as Tyler pushed himself upright and swung his legs off the bed.

  “What are you doing?!” Regan cried, running toward him and stopping him from stepping onto the floor. “You, stupid man, you’ll injure yourself further.”

  “I’m going to kill them,” he ground out. “How dare they treat you like this? Their own daughter.”

  “They’re blinded by hatred and grief, Ty. Now lay back down. Here, I’ll adjust the bed upright.”

  “I don’t care, Regan. That’s not a good enough excuse to hurt you like they are.”

  She took hold of his face in her hands. “I know.” She kissed his mouth, dipping her tongue inside, tasting him, washing away all the bitterness she felt. “But they are not worth injuring yourself over. Please, lay back down.”

  There was a knock at the door, Toby’s voice drifting through it, “Ty’s parents have just appeared in the distance. Erm, shall I stall them?”

  Regan’s eyes widened. “I can’t meet your parents smelling, Ty!” she whispered, horrified, then said louder to Toby, “Yes, please, long enough for me to shower.”

  Despite everything, Tyler laughed. “Then go shower, gorgeous girl. I’ll still be here when you get back.”

  Regan wrung her hands together unable to keep still. Her heart was trying to jump out of her chest, and nerves bounced through her body making her fidget. She’d envisioned meeting Tyler’s family one day, and in all those visions, she’d been nervous but there hadn’t been the fear she held inside of her n
ow, a fear she knew came from her parents’ reactions.

  Standing beside Tyler’s bed, his right hand gripped hers tightly as they both stared at the door. He caressed his thumb over her hand. “Stop fidgeting.”

  “I can’t help it. How are you so calm right now?”

  “Because I know my family and I’ve never feared introducing you to them.”

  “Still.”

  Tyler twisted his head and looked up at her. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”

  She had no time to answer him. To tell him even if his parents were thrilled to meet her, life would never be 100 percent okay again because she’d lost her parents, but the door was opening and people were piling in, and the words died in her throat.

  Regan tensed as Tyler’s mother rushed forward and straight into his arms.

  “Ugh!” Tyler cried out. “Jeez, Mom, take it easy.”

  “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. I was just so worried.” She took hold of his left hand, lifting it slightly.

  Tyler gasped in pain again.

  “Lauran, come here before you break the poor man even more,” Tyler’s father instructed.

  His mom took a step back, lifting her hands up. “Sorry, Tyler.”

  Tyler shook his head and chuckled softly. “It’s all right, Mom. I’ll survive.”

  “Babe, just move the pillow up a bit more, will you?” Tyler asked her in a pained tone.

  Regan moved without thought, not even registering what he’d called her in front of his parents. She didn’t think Tyler had realized either until his little brother spoke up.

  “Babe?” his little brother mumbled.

  Tyler and Regan froze.

  “Wow, dude, busted.” His brother laughed.

  Regan took a deep breath, readjusted Tyler’s pillow, then braced herself to face them. Tyler took her hand and smiled up at her, then at his family.

  “Mom, Dad, Lockie, I’d like you to meet Regan, my mate.”

  Regan held her breath, staring at Tyler’s family, waiting for their reaction. His mom’s gaze flickered from hers to Tyler’s before finally landing on their linked hands.

  “When?” she whispered.