Postcards from Abby

by Sarah Price

  “No, not really.”

  “How about “Keep in touch.”

  And despite myself, a smile spreads across my face and I know exactly what he is trying to say. He will wait for me and to let him know that I will wait for him too, I chime in.

  “Don’t be a stranger.”

  “Write back soon.”

  “See you soon.”

  “Drop me a line.”

  He leans in, I close my eyes and we kiss as if it needs to last an entire year.

  Tia spends the next few days by Abby’s side. As the nurse had predicted, Abby’s cancer doesn’t exactly follow a typical course, which doesn’t surprise Tia in the least bit. Nothing about Abby is ever typical. And so, in the high and low cycle that seems to be the pattern with her, Abby’s bad days are followed by a few good ones. Those are the days when Abby is sitting up in her bed, awake for hours, eating more than usual, laughing and joking. She no longer has the strength to walk and is confined to her bed and needs assistance to get up for simple tasks such as changing and going to the bathroom, but throughout it all, Abby shows strength and courage and eternal optimism.

  For Tia, watching her face this insurmountable challenge with such grace moves her beyond words and makes her appreciate Abby in a way she never had before. Before her illness, Tia was envious of Abby because she followed her own dreams and traveled the world. Now, Tia is simply in awe of her friend for living each day to its fullest.

  It is during one of her good days, with Tia sitting by Abby’s bedside that Jack stops by for a visit. Since that night at his house, Tia has been spending her days between two alternate realities. During the morning and afternoons, she is with Abby while Jack manages the Inn but the evenings belong to Jack. Tia finds herself spending most nights with him, sharing in the simple activities that is considered living, enjoying a meal together, watching a movie from the comforts of a small sofa in his living room or in the bedroom, making love. And so to see Jack walking into Abby’s room in the early afternoon leaves Tia feeling displaced. Her confusion changes, however, when she sees what he has brought.

  “Buenos tardes, Señoritas.”

  Tia looks over to Abby and smiles when she sees a twinkle of excitement in her eyes.

  “Good afternoon to you too, Señor Riojas.” Abby returns the greeting while Tia remains silent, knowing better than to interrupt a moment between them.

  “I come bearing gifts,” he says.

  “And it’s not even my birthday,” The playful banter continues and the effect it has on Abby is palpable. Tia wishes that Jack had time to come to visit her friend more often as it seems to be therapeutic. The change in Abby is obvious already.

  “Well, I have a break in my schedule this afternoon and I thought you could use some fresh air.” He pushes a wheelchair through the door as he says this.

  “I don’t know. Are you licensed to drive that thing?” Abby eyes him with suspicion as Tia lets out a small giggle.

  “Of course. You have nothing to worry about. You are in good hands. You can ask your friend here if you need a reference.” Jack looks over to Tia and winks.

  “Of course, she’ll give you a glowing review. She’s sleeping with the driver.”

  “Abby,” Tia gently scolds her as her face turns several shades of red.

  “What? I speak the truth.”

  Jack interrupts her before she says anything else, saving Tia from further embarrassment, “Less talking and more moving. Your chariot awaits, Señorita.” He moves the wheelchair right next to the bedside and helps Abby with the transition.

  “Where are we going?” Abby asks with a glimmer of mischief in her eyes.

  “We are going to make us some wine.” And now it’s Tia’s turn to get excited.

  Tia has completely forgotten that they are in the midst of grape harvesting season. She has fond memories of helping her grandparents pick grapes from their small vineyard so that they would be crushed, extracting the savory juice that is the first step of a very complicated and exact process of making wine. Of course, like every household in Muros, the vineyard her grandparents had was for personal use only. They would save the wine in large wood barrels and store it at the right temperature in their cellar and eventually pour it into bottles for daily consumption during lunch or dinner. Since she was a little girl, every meal she had in Spain was accompanied by a glass of wine mixed with ginger ale.

  Jack leads Abby and Tia out of the Inn, into the warm sun and down a small dirt path. The road is windy and narrow and away from the congestion of the hotel guests. It takes some time but finally they reach a clearing and it is there that Tia sees the familiar sight of vines climbing up and encircling evenly spaced rows of wires and stakes. On each vine, groups of grapes clustered together grow in various shades of green. Jack walks over to a vine and pulls a cluster of grapes off, walking back to them, holding it in his hands. He places the grapes in Abby’s hand and begins explaining the decision making process of deciding which grapes are ripe and ready to harvest. Abby is transfixed, as is Tia, and like a small child would, ask endless questions of Jack. He patiently answers all of them.

  Just like her grandparents, Jack’s family started harvesting grapes for their own personal use and when his father died, Jack continued the tradition. Unlike the Inn, however, Tia notices that Jack made the decision to carry on his family’s wine making without any prompting or expectation from his family to do so. It didn’t seem like something forced on him.

  When they reach the end of the vineyard, Tia sees that Jack has set up a small table with a platter of cheese and bread and, of course, a bottle of wine. They spend the next half hour, enjoying each other’s company. When the last drop of wine is consumed, Abby looks exhausted.

  Tia winces at the thought that a few hours in the outdoors has expended so much of her energy. She smiles though as if nothing is wrong when Abby speaks, “This has really turned out to be a wonderful surprise. Thank you, Joachim, for doing this.” Jack bends down slightly in a bow, acknowledging her appreciation. “But it’s getting late and I’m getting tired.”

  “Do you want me to take you back to your room?” Jack asks.

  “Yes I’d like to go back, but if you don’t mind, I’d like Tia to take me back.”

  In an exaggerated manner, Jack acts offended, “This doesn’t have anything to do with my driving, does it?”

  “No, you passed with flying colors.”

  “That’s good to know,” and again, Jack acts relieved.

  “I just want to spend some quality time with my friend here.” Abby adds as way of an excuse.

  “Understood.” And before Tia turns to push Abby’s wheelchair towards the direction of the Inn, Jack calls out, “Tia, if Abby doesn’t need you, I’d really like you to come back here.”

  “It seems I’m not the only one who wants to spend some quality time with you,” Abby utters underneath her breath so that only Tia can hear it. Her tone is teasing and playful.

  Tia looks back at Jack and nods her head yes. He smiles back, “Good. I’ll wait for you here then.”

  When she clears the vineyard and is on the road back to the Inn, Abby breaks the silence with an observation, “Joachim is a good person.”

  “Yes, he is,” Tia agrees, giving nothing more away.

  This doesn’t stop Abby from pressing on, “He’s kind, honest and let’s face it, gorgeous,”

  She wonders where Abby is heading with all of this. It doesn’t take long to find out, “It’s clear to anyone with eyes how crazy he is about you.”

  “Abby…”

  “It’s true and his eyes light up whenever you are around.”

  ‘What are you getting at?” Tia asks, cutting right to the chase, knowing that Abby has a point to make and won’t stop until she does.

  “I’m just saying,” Abby says slowly. “Don’t over think this.”

  “Me? Over think?” Now it’s Tia’s turn to exaggerate her reaction.

  “I know it’
s hard to believe because you’re such a ‘go with the flow’ kind of a person,” Abby’s sarcastic tone is hard to miss. But Tia doesn’t mind.

  Tia simply rolls her eyes, “We’re getting to know one another again and enjoying each other’s company. That’s it.”

  They’ve reached the end of the dirt road and the Inn is in clear sight. “I just want you to be happy again, Tia.”

  “I know.”

  “So do me a favor and don’t be your worst enemy.”

  “I’ll try not to.”

  “I mean it, Tia. He’s a keeper.”

  Mimicking her words back to her, Tia gently scolds Abby, “I mean it, too. Let’s get you up to your room. You need your rest.”

  They both laugh as she takes her back to the Inn. Once Tia settles Abby in for the night, she follows the path back to the vineyard. She is not disappointed and is even happy to find Jack sitting by the small table, waiting for her. He stands up as she approaches and extends his hands to her. Without a word spoken, Jack leads her to one of the stakes and pulls her down on her knees, letting go of one of her hands to pat the ground between them.

  “What do you see?”

  “Dirt.” She knows that’s not the answer that he is seeking but she likes to play with him.

  “What do you feel?” Jack places the soil into Tia’s hands. It is rough and grainy. Tia sits there confused, not knowing what kind of an answer he is looking for.

  “Dirt?”

  At that moment, Jack takes the soil in his hands and places it gently on the fold of Tia’s neck and caresses it down to her chest, stopping on the first button of her blouse. His eyes never leave her own eyes. It is an intense stare. Tia’s heart is pounding and she’s frozen by the powerful sensation of his touch against the abrasive feel of the soil.

  “Now what do you feel?”

  “Numb.”

  “This is the power of life, Tia. Taking the simplest things and changing them into something beautiful, powerful, even erotic.”

  Jack takes more soil from the ground and places it on Tia’s arms and massages it into her skin from her shoulders, to her forearms, to the palm of her hands, taking each finger and lightly touching the tips. The soil has become soft from the sweat and heat of Tia’s body and it is soothing. Jack then reaches above him and picks a hand full of grapes from the vines hanging above. He puts one grape on the edge of Tia’s lips. She takes it in and tastes its bitterness.

  “What does it taste like?”

  “It tastes like grapes.”

  He moves closer to Tia and places another grape on the tip of her lips but before Tia can take it into her mouth; he moves his lips to hers and nibbles on the grape until the juice seeps into her lips. He then kisses Tia and pushes the grape into her mouth with his tongue. All at once, Tia is aroused and forgets all about the bitterness. To Tia, it tastes like the best wine that any country can offer.

  “Do you see what I mean?”

  Tia and Jack make love underneath the vineyard. Afterwards, they lay besides each other, exhausted but content. Although she has had many experiences in her life, Tia has never felt the way Jack makes her feel and she knows she will never look at things again the same way.

  Breaking the silence, Jack asks, “Do you know what your name means?”

  Tia smiles and nods. Of course, she knows what it means. Her mother never tired of telling her the story of how her name’s meaning symbolized what Tia had meant to her parents, a ‘hidden treasure.’

  Jack offers his own interpretation, “In Spanish, your name means ‘I adore you.’ Now imagine if I didn’t know the meaning. Every time I called your name, you wouldn’t think anything of it, other than I wanted to get your attention.”

  Tia thinks about this and back to the many times Michael had called her by name.

  Jack goes on, “But I do know what your name means and now every time I call you ‘Tiadora’, you’re going to wonder what I mean exactly. You’re going to wonder if I adore you.”

  Jack smiles so warmly that Tia knows the answer to the question without having to wait for him to reply.

  “Tiadora?” Joachim calls out to her.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. Just Tiadora.”

  Jack leans over and kisses Tia on the tip of her nose. She closes her eyes and sighs, content with the knowledge that she is adored.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Tia and Abby

  “If you can be any animal, what would it be?”

  I am on the swing with my legs dangling back and forth and next to me is Abby, asking me the question. It is an unusually warm fall afternoon and we decide to stop off at the park on our way home from school. I give it some thought, taking it as serious as one can take a question from her best friend at eleven years old. “I would be a penguin.”

  “A penguin?” I look over and see Abby frown.

  “Why? You don’t like penguins?”

  “No, I like penguins enough.” Abby hesitates. “I suppose.”

  “Then what’s with the face?”

  “Penguins live in Antarctica.”

  “Yeah?”

  “It’s cold and there’s no one around for miles,” Abby adds.

  “I happen to like snow and penguins travel in a group.”

  “If you say so.” She doesn’t sound convinced.

  Now it’s my turn to ask, “Alright, smarty pants, which animal would you choose?”

  “That’s easy. Any bird with wings.”

  “Ah ha! Gotcha, penguins have wings!” I smile smugly, convinced I have the better on Abby.

  “One problem. Penguins can’t fly.”

  “Oh…” I hadn’t thought of that.

  “And I want to fly, fly as high as I can.” And as she says this, she takes off on the swing, pushing higher and higher with her legs pumping, so high that her seat shifts underneath her and her head tilts back and she is almost upside down. From where I sit on the swing below and with the sun directly in front of us, I can’t tell where Abby ends and the sky begins.

  Over the course of the next week, Abby’s condition deteriorates quickly. It seems that the cycle of the ups and downs, the good days and bad days has turned into bad days and worse. The good days are fewer and come further apart. Tia finds herself spending most of her time alternating between sitting on the wooden chair by Abby as she sleeps and talking to her or coaxing her to eat when she’s awake. As the days go by, more of Abby’s days are spent sleeping than awake. The cocktail of medication she is on eases the pain but it is only a matter of time before Abby will let go.

  Throughout it all, Tia reads to her, recounts funny stories of them growing up, and relives memories of her dad. Even when she knows Abby is not listening, Tia goes on. More for herself, than for Abby at times.

  She hasn’t seen Jack since the day at the vineyard and the truth of the matter is, she’s been avoiding him. The guilt of spending so much time with him when she should have been caring for Abby is too much for her to think about. The idea that, before Abby fell sick, she had been on the verge of letting everything go for Jack still terrifies Tia. She made that mistake once, giving her heart and soul to someone only to have it turn on her. Did she want to repeat the same history again? Would the ghosts of Sarah and Michael haunt Jack and Tia throughout their life if they chose to live it together? No, it is too much for Tia to consider, not when her friend was facing her final journey. It would have to wait. Tia threw herself into caring for Abby. So much so, that the round o’clock care left Tia feeling exhausted, both physically and emotional. She hasn’t slept much and refuses to listen to the nurse when she tells her to go get some rest. All of her energy is focused on Abby.

  A nudge on the shoulder wakes Tia. She lifts her head up from the edge of the bed and looks around to see the room is dark only to realize that she must have fallen asleep. She squints and focuses her eyes, turning around to see Jack standing right next to her. He gives her a warm smile, “She’s sleeping. Come and take a walk with
me.”

  “I don’t want to leave in case she wakes up. She might need me to get her something.”

  “What she needs is rest, Tia and you need a break. Come with me, it will do you good. ” And as he says this, he takes her arm to pull her gently up. Tia is too disoriented and tired to argue, “The nurse will be here in a few minutes to take care of her. She won’t even know you’ve gone.”

  Tia leans over to Abby and gives her a gentle kiss on the forehead before she leaves. Jack still has his hand on her arm as they walk out of the room in silence. They remain silent as they walk down to the lobby, out the door, to the veranda. The night is cool and clear, as Tia looks up to see a million stars in the sky. Jack leads her to two empty lounge chairs to sit. From exhaustion, Tia does as she is told without any questions. Her head is still foggy. They sit down and Jack quietly puts his arm around her shoulder and pulls her to him. She sinks her head into his shoulder. For a while no words are exchanged between them.

  “How are you holding up?” Jack gives Tia a small squeeze.

  “I’m alright.”

  “I’m worried about you. You’ve been so busy taking care of Abby that I’m afraid you’re not taking care of yourself.”

  “I’m OK, really. You don’t need to be concerned with me.”

  “Of course, I’m concerned. I don’t want you to get sick.”

  “Jack, I’m fine.” And the way she says the last few words, with a tinge of anger, takes even Tia aback. Jack doesn’t flinch though.

  “Are you cold? The ocean wind is picking up.” He rubs his hand up and down her arm.

  “You really don’t have to take care of me.” She picks her head up from his shoulder to look at him, “Really, I’m fine.”

  Jack looks back at Tia with a worried look, “I care about you, Tia and I want to be here for you. I feel like you’re closing me off. I know it’s a difficult time…”

  And Tia stops him, not wanting to hear about Abby’s impending death. Not wanting any sympathy from Jack, especially not Jack. She knows she’s tired and that everything being said is taking on more meaning for her because she can’t think straight and her emotions, raw and open, along with her physical tiredness are putting her on edge; but she doesn’t care.