by Emma Collins
“Yeah, well... That’s why I’m nervous.”
“Right... You’ll be kissing her.”
“Yep... I might have a bit of a crush on her too.”
“Really?” Laura asked as she took another drink.
“Yeah. Why do you sound so surprised?”
“I don’t know... I would have thought she’d be a bit too old for you.”
“She’s not, and that’s one of the changes to the script. They wanted an age gap. I never got the sense that there was one from reading the book.”
“Because there wasn’t.”
“Right,” Riley said, taking another drink. “So, I’m just a little bit intimidated by the idea of kissing Julie McCoy, on camera, in front of the crew. I’m not even worried about making a mess of it... I’m worried about being too into it,” she said with a nervous laugh. “How fucked up is that?”
“Well, I don’t know how much better I’d be, and I’ve kissed plenty of women. She’s Julie McCoy. That is intimidating.”
“I don’t think there’s much that I can do about it, except hope that being around her for a few weeks will ease my nerves. Or it could make them worse. There’s no way of knowing. I mean, I usually don’t get star stuck around other actors. God, I hope I don’t turn into a rambling mess. That’s what happens whenever I’m around a woman I like. I just can’t shut up, and I know I’m doing it... But I just keep going. Maybe someone will find it endearing someday, but I probably look like a complete idiot.”
“No. It’s cute.”
Riley’s eyes locked onto Laura’s. Shit. She’d just done it. Not only had she gone on and on, but she also spelled it out for Laura. She’d pretty much told her that she liked her.
“I’m going to get the bottle from the fridge,” Riley said as finished what was left in her glass and went into the kitchen, avoiding Laura’s stare.
She wanted to lighten the mood by telling Laura about her insecurities, but instead she’d made a fool of herself. Laura was probably on her way back upstairs to pack her things, or she felt sorry for her. Riley didn’t know which one was worse.
Riley opened the fridge and took out the half-empty bottle of Chardonnay, replacing it with the one on the counter. She had no doubt she’d need it later, with or without Laura’s company. She took a deep breath as she carried the bottle into the living room and topped up both of their glasses.
“Thanks,” Laura said as Riley sat down.
She had no idea where to go from here. Talking about it was pointless. Riley knew she was attracted to Laura, but the whole rambling thing... That was reserved for serious crushes, and it hadn’t happened in a long time.
“So, who else is in this movie?” Laura asked, and Riley finally met her eyes, thankful that she wasn’t going to dwell on what just happened.
Chapter 19
When Laura got up the next morning, she was relieved that she only had the slightest headache. She wouldn’t normally drink that much wine, but Riley kept topping up their glasses, and the nervous energy between them meant that drinking was the easiest thing to do when either of them weren’t sure what to say.
Laura made the most of her morning, going out for a six-mile hike along the lake. There was no sign of Riley this morning, but maybe she was dealing with a hangover. It really wouldn’t have surprised her. They must have had a bottle each, but then again, when she was Riley’s age, a bottle of wine wouldn’t have bothered her.
She wanted to get out in the fresh air and clear her head, but her thoughts kept coming back to what Riley had said last night. She wasn’t even that drunk, but the look on her face when she realized what she’d just admitted to, even if it was in a roundabout way, was priceless. It was a self-esteem boost if nothing else.
Laura couldn’t remember the last time someone had flirted with her or looked at her the way Riley did. It was nice, but she could tell that Riley was having trouble keeping her emotions in check, and in a few weeks, she’d be kissing Julie McCoy. That was something else. Laura would gladly trade places with Riley. Well, she’d trade places with either of them if she was honest with herself.
When she got back from her hike, there was no sign of Riley. Maybe she went grocery shopping or to meet with someone involved in the movie?
Laura went straight into the shower, leaving her sweaty shorts and tank top on the bathroom floor. She knew Riley was embarrassed last night, which was why she didn’t ask her to elaborate. Was Riley really interested in her? Or did she just mean that she found Laura attractive? She didn’t know, and the moment had definitely passed. If Laura hadn’t asked her while she was tipsy, she was never going to.
She dried off and got changed into knee length jean shorts and a gray v neck top. She left her hair down, knowing it wouldn’t take long to dry if she sat outside. She padded over to the nightstand and picked up the book she’d brought and her reading glasses. She’d sit outside and relax by the pool for a while. It was almost noon, so there was plenty of time to write later on in the day if Riley was still out.
She slid her feet into her black flip flops that were beside the bed and went downstairs. The house was still quiet with just the noise of her flip flops lightly slapping against her feet. She grabbed a cold bottle of water from the fridge on her way outside, sliding the door behind her to keep the air-conditioning inside.
She wasn’t alone. Laura stopped in her tracks. Water cascaded down Riley’s body as she climbed the pool’s steps, pushing her wet hair away from her eyes. Her black bikini left little to the imagination, but Laura had no trouble filling in the gaps. This was the one time she wanted to repress her overly active imagination though, and she swallowed as she tore her eyes away, hopefully before Riley noticed her staring.
Laura dragged one of the lounge chairs along the concrete until most of it was covered by the shade of the house. She got comfortable, kicking off her flip flops and letting her lower legs get some sun.
“Morning... Or is it afternoon?” Riley asked with a smile as she picked up the white towel that was folded on the lounger beside Laura.
Laura waited until she thought Riley would have her towel wrapped around her before she looked up, but her eyes only made it as far as Riley’s chest. She’d only secured the towel around her waist, leaving her toned stomach and her youthful, perky, bikini-clad breasts on display.
She finally managed to find Riley’s eyes, and Laura wished she had sunglasses to hide behind, but unfortunately, Riley was witnessing this whole debacle.
“Just afternoon,” Laura said, her voice sounding normal, to her at least. “How’s the head?”
“A little foggy earlier, but that swim helped.”
“Any plans for today?” Laura asked, forcing herself to maintain eye contact.
“Not really. I wanted to spend some time with you, go over the script maybe. I have a few scenes marked that I want to talk to you about.”
“Okay... That’s fine with me.”
“I’m going to go have a shower and then pick up some food, stock up the fridge. I didn’t do a great job when I arrived, and I may have underestimated the amount of wine we’d need.”
“Do you want me to do it? While you’re showering?”
“No, I don’t mind going,” Riley said, squeezing some of the water out of her hair. “If I don’t wear makeup and put on a baseball cap, the chances of me being seen are slim.”
“Okay. I’ll probably be here,” Laura said as she opened her book.
“See you later.”
Laura leaned back and closed her eyes. She was too frazzled to read. What was wrong with her? She was acting like a teenager. It was as if the ten years she’d been celibate had all come rushing back to her, all that pent-up desire searching for release.
She’d spent years ignoring Amanda’s gentle requests to come out with her or to go to New York City for Pride, because she couldn’t imagine herself with anyone other than Grace, and she still couldn’t. She couldn’t see herself going to a gay bar, activel
y looking to meet someone. She wasn’t going to sign up for a dating site and scroll through pages of profiles of single women. She had no interest in any of that, but Riley was making her feel something again, and that was going to be hard to ignore.
Chapter 20
Riley fiddled with the label on her bottle of beer, the condensation dripping down the side of the green glass. They were sitting at the edge of the pool, their feet in the water. The sun sank behind the trees about an hour ago after they’d spent all afternoon going over the script. She’d already been a bit anxious about Laura reacting to the new scenes as well as the ones that she had to leave out, but after what she’d said last night, Riley didn’t know how she was going to talk to Laura about this.
“I’m glad I decided not to get involved,” Laura said, breaking the easy silence that had fallen between them.
Riley glanced over at her, the light from the porch illuminating the pool area, the glow of fireflies floating in the distance, near the edge of the woods. “What do you mean? Is the script that bad?”
Laura laughed softly. “No. I just mean that... It’s so different, and that’s a good thing. I wouldn’t have been any help if I’d gotten involved. I’d always be referring back to my version. Your script is good. I don’t have any experience with screenplays, but I like the changes you’ve made, and the only reason I can say that is because I’m not involved. I’m looking at this like anyone else would. I’m not trying to find my story in there. I’m not making much sense, am I?”
“No. You are. Sometimes, when I’ve signed up for a role, I might have had an idea of what the final result was going to look like, but then, when I’ve done my bit... It’s out of my hands. Scenes I loved might have been cut or edited in a way that I didn’t really get. This is different though, so I don’t think I can really compare the two.”
“This time you get to act out what you’ve written.”
Riley nodded. “I hope that makes it easier. I don’t know though. This whole thing with Julie McCoy... It’s not even about her actually. The idea of kissing any woman, on camera, is frightening. I’m afraid of getting carried away...”
“Too bad you can’t just go out and...”
“Hook up with some random woman?” Riley guessed with a laugh, and Laura nodded. “Only if I want to make the headlines tomorrow... I do want to come out, but not like that. I want to do it on my own terms.”
“It’s such a strange situation.”
“Being in the closet because of my job?”
“No. I mean,” Laura started, and Riley met her eyes in the dim lighting. “You would have women fighting over you if you walked into a gay bar, even if you weren’t an actress... But, instead...”
“I’m getting myself worked up over a kiss. There isn’t even a sex scene... Well, it’s a fade out.” Riley sighed. “But thank you for saying that... I don’t know how true it is though.”
“Trust me. It’s true.”
Riley left her bottle down on the concrete beside her. Was Laura interested in her? Or did she pity her? Riley couldn’t tell. She wasn’t going to ask either.
“How long ago did things end with... Maria? Was that her name?”
Riley nodded. “Three years ago. At least.”
“Ah.”
“Yeah. If it hadn’t been so long, I probably wouldn’t be this worried.”
“And then it’s Julie McCoy.”
“Right. No pressure,” Riley said with a sigh. “It’s going to be a disaster. I can just feel it. Normally, especially after doing this for the last ten years, I’m confident going on set. I’ve been in a lot of different situations, worked with difficult actors or directors... This has got me so worked up, and it’s weeks away yet.”
Laura’s feet left the water, splashing a few droplets on Riley’s thigh. “I’m going to pour myself a whiskey. Can I get you one? Or another beer?” she asked as she stood up, and Riley found it hard to meet her gaze. It was a combination of embarrassment and desire. She wished Laura would just lean in and kiss her, even if it was to help her out for this role.
Riley couldn’t remember the last time she was so physically drawn to someone, and if she hadn’t just told her that she hadn’t even kissed another woman in more than three years, she’d be the one making a move. But she didn’t want Laura thinking it was out of desperation, either because of her own loneliness or for the sake of this role.
“I’ll have one,” Riley said, glancing up at her. “Do you want to go inside? The bugs are starting to get a little annoying,” Riley said, swiping another one away from her ear.
“Sure,” Laura said, giving Riley her hand and helping her up. Even that contact, as innocent as it was, sent a shiver through Riley’s body.
Maybe inviting Laura up here was a bad idea. Riley had enough to worry about with this movie. Adding her growing attraction to Laura to the list was not a good idea.
Chapter 21
Laura carried two tumblers of whiskey into the living room, handing one to Riley as she sat down, leaving just a few inches between them. Laura tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as she got comfortable, draping her left arm over the back of the couch. When she was sitting beside Riley outside with their feet in the water, she’d had just enough to drink to start daydreaming about this crazy idea.
Laura had started talking before she thought about what she was even saying.
“Too bad you can’t just go out and...”
“Hook up with some random woman?... Only if I want to make the headlines tomorrow...”
Except, Riley wouldn’t have to worry about headlines if she didn’t have to go out to a club or meet some stranger online. She could test the waters with someone she trusted, and maybe Laura would finally feel something after all these years. Laura took a drink, the ice cubes knocking against the glass as she brought it to her lips.
It was insane. It could ruin the friendship that they’d only just begun. It might have an effect on the movie, but maybe it would be a positive one? It might put Riley at ease. It could also get Laura thrown out of this house in the middle of the night, but it was impossible to be rational right now. Riley was still wearing the white tank top and jean shorts she had on when she went shopping this afternoon, and they were very short.
“Thanks,” Riley said as she brought her tumbler to her lips.
How would she even do it? Should she bring it up? Just put it out there?
No. If she was going to do this, it had to happen naturally. Well, as naturally as it could when she’d spent the last hour thinking about it.
“What’s that look about?” Riley asked, a playful smile on her lips.
“Julie McCoy,” Laura said with a smile. “I’m nervous for you. I can’t even imagine.”
Hearing Riley talk about her... Laura couldn’t believe how jealous it made her. That’s what made her admit that this wasn’t some celebrity crush. She was starting to have feelings for Riley. It was a long time since she’d been jealous of someone, and Laura got it. Julie McCoy was gorgeous. She had a crush on her too. She had for years. She was probably about Laura’s age now that she thought about it.
“I know,” Riley said, biting her lower lip. “When Adam told me... I don’t even know what I did. I was thrilled, you know, to have her star power associated with this movie, but then when it hit me what that would mean... I was even more excited, and then, I realized I’d have to pretend to be into it, but not too into it... I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I mean, I’m sure she’s a professional. We’ve never worked together, but I’ve only heard good things. She’s never kissed a woman, on camera anyway... Who knows about her own life...” Riley stopped talking and met her eyes. “Sorry, rambling again.”
“Don’t apologize. I should be flattered, right? All this rambling... It’s a sign you’re interested in someone, isn’t it? Or does that only happen sometimes?”
Laura held her breath while she waited for her reaction. Riley’s cheeks darkened as she leaned forward
to put her tumbler down, running a hand through her hair as she sunk back into the cushions. Laura left her glass down too, daring herself to meet Riley’s eyes.
“Never mind,” Laura said after a second. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I know we’re kind of working together here. Let’s put it down to the whiskey,” she offered with a weak smile. “Forget I said that.”
“No, it’s fine. You’re right. I uh... I guess, I’m just not really good at this.”
“What’s this?”
“Flirting, getting to know someone... Sometimes, I wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn’t gotten into this business. If I went to L.A. to become a screenwriter and failed, if no one had asked me to audition. What would I have done then? Whatever it would have been, I would have been out... I’d probably have had several meaningful relationships at this point in my life. I don’t have any regrets. I’m so thankful for the opportunities I’ve had... I just wonder sometimes.”
“Hey, I know all about having an overly active imagination. There’s nothing wrong with spending some time daydreaming. You’re young though. You still have so much time to live that life that you’re dreaming of.”
“What about you?” Riley asked.
“What about me?”
“What do you daydream about?”
Laura swallowed. “Usually? Whatever book I’m working on.”
“And now?”
“I’m not sure I should say...”
“I won’t judge,” Riley said, her voice serious, and Laura wondered if she had any idea what she was thinking about right now. Maybe she thought Laura had dreams of traveling the world or going back to school. Did she know what Laura was fantasizing about?
Laura’s eyes flickered down to Riley’s lips. They’d drifted a little closer since they’d left their glasses on the coffee table and gotten comfortable again. She was close enough to Riley. All she had to do was lean in...