Delusional Love (2nd Edition)

by Young, Sage

  “That’s funny. I was about to ask you the same thing.”

  He said looking back and forth between the two with a disgusted look on his face.

  Lawrence looked at Ivan puzzled. “Look, I’m not sure what’s going on, but I have to get to a meeting. Ivan, I will talk to you later and Stephanie, don’t forget what I told you. Later.” Stephanie smiled as Lawrence walked away.

  “So, the elusive Mr. Quinn is around,” she said with sarcasm.

  “What the hell was that about?” Ivan said through his teeth obviously seething.

  “What was what about?” she said looking into his green eyes that seemed to be getting darker. ‘Is he jealous?’ She thought.

  “Don’t be coy, Stephanie. You know exactly what I’m talking about, you and Lawrence. Are you seeing him now only a day and a half after confessing your feelings for me, or has this been going on all along?” ‘He is jealous.’ She sat silently while he continued on his tirade.

  “So how long have you been seeing him? Are you trying to play both of us?”

  Now it was her turn to get angry.

  “Play you? Play you?”

  She said a little louder then she intended. She looked around to see if anyone was looking and focused her attention back to Ivan.

  “You’ve got some damn nerve to approach me with this bullshit. You are the one who’s been avoiding me for the last couple of days.” She said through her teeth, trying not to cause a scene. “Yes, I told you how I felt, but I also told you it’s all or nothing. I am not doing any agreement.” Ivan stood there, a little stunned by her reaction as she continued. “And now you come over to my table, implying that I am seeing someone else after I told you how I feel about you. You have the nerve to question my character while trying to stake your fucking claim on something that is not yours.” Stephanie was so angry that tears threatened to fall but she refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

  “Do you remember our last conversation? I sure as hell do. I believe it was you who said that you could not do a relationship. So why are you now questioning who I chose to date?”

  Ivan remained silent as his piercing green eyes bore into her.

  “So, you are dating him.” He said in a low irritated tone. She was about to answer when her girlfriends approached the table. Ivan never took his eyes off of Stephanie.

  Tara cleared her throat. “Are we interrupting something?” Stephanie looked up; her friends could tell that something was wrong.

  “No, Mr. Quinn was just leaving.” Ivan stood.

  “It’s a pleasure to see you both again. Stephanie, we will finish this conversation later.” He said as he walked away from the table without a backwards glance.

  “What was that about? It looked pretty intense when we walked up.” Brianna said as they both sat down. Stephanie gave them a recap of what just transpired before they arrived. When they started to offer opinions, she shut down the conversation. Stephanie just wanted to eat and enjoy her friends who she had not seen in a while. Changing the subject, she turned to Tara and said, “What did you do to Lawrence? He is completely sprung.” They laughed and Tara talked about their situation. They finished dinner, said their goodbyes and Tara promised to call Lawrence.

  ---------

  Tara arrived home and was having second thoughts about calling Lawrence. She really liked him and he needed to know about her past relationship before she could move forward with a serious relationship with him. She knew he wanted more but she didn’t know if she could offer more. Her past relationship with Dr. Antonio Russo really affected how she viewed relationships. She was scared. She picked up the phone and dialed Lawrence’s number.

  “Hi.” She said when he answered the phone.

  “How are you? He responded.

  “Not good, look I need to talk to you about something and I need to do it tonight before I lose my nerve.”

  He could tell by the nervousness in her voice that it was serious. “What is it?” He said a little taken aback by the tone of the conversation.

  “Not over the phone can you come over?”

  “I’m on my way.”

  Fifteen minutes later Lawrence was at Tara’s door. He walk in and she led him to the sofa. “I know I have been acting strange lately, but there is a reason why I have been avoiding you.” She stood, her nervous energy had gotten the best of her.

  “You want a drink, let me get us both a drink.” Before he could respond she headed towards the kitchen. ‘What the fuck is going on?’ He thought. She came back with two glasses of wine and the wine bottle. He took his glass and the bottle and prompted her to sit down. She sat next to him and drained her glass.

  “Damn Ty what is wrong?”

  She blew out a breath and sat close to him not giving him eye contact. “Okay, I know that you’ve been wondering what has been wrong with me and why I keep canceling our dates. I also know that you want more from our relationship, but you need to know why I am so gun shy when it comes to relationships. I need to tell you something that I have not even told my best friends.”

  “Okay.” Lawrence said.

  “Several months back I ended a relationship with a man who started to become abusive.” Tara could feel Lawrence’s body stiffen. She turned to face him she could see he was getting angry. She continued. “My friends did not know we were dating because he was Italian and I did not know how they would react to me dating someone of a different race. Kind of silly huh? Well anyway we went out for about three months when we had our first big argument I can’t even remember what the argument was about, but I do remember the bruise he left on my face.”

  “What’s his name Ty.” Lawrence said trying to contain his anger.

  “That’s not important, I just need you to hear me out so you understand why I have been acting the way I have.” Lawrence put his arm around her shoulder as she continued. “Our first night together was actually the first time I slept with someone since my break up. I just want you to know that night was amazing.” She smiled at him and she could see his face soften. “Anyway, when you left that morning, I was about to take a shower when the bell rang and I thought you forgot something.” Tara began to detail the events that happened as she relived that morning………..

  “Did you forget something or just miss….. What are you doing here?

  “You don’t seem excited to see your fiancé? He said.

  “You are not my fiancé or did you not get the hint when I threw the ring back at you.” I screamed.

  “Come on Ty, I know you have missed me as much as I have missed you. I thought I would give you some space and time to reconsider your rash decision. After all, I do love you and I know you love me. One bad decision on my part should not destroy our entire relationship.”

  “Relationship, relationship, there is no relationship. You did a good job of destroying that four months ago. You need to leave.” As I spoke he closed to gap between us and pulled me into him in a gentle warm embrace. The warm comforting feeling I use to get from him was now turned into a sickening feeling in my stomach. I pulled

  away from him and kept a safe distance.

  “You need to go, I meant it when I said we are done.”

  He reached for me again and I flinched my arm back. He sighed “I understand, you need more time.”

  “I don’t need more time I just need you to leave now.”

  “Okay fair enough but can I at least use the little boys room before I go?” He smiled at me and I nodded. He walked into the powder room as I walked back towards the kitchen. After a few seconds I heard the door to the powder room swing open so hard it hit the wall. He came barreling out storming towards me “Who the hell are you fucking?” Before I could move his fist came crashing down on my face. My head slammed against the floor I felt nausea and dizziness cover me all at once. I tried to crawl away as he knelt down with the condom wrapper in his hand. He grabbed me by the collar of the silk robe I was wearing. “I cannot believe after everythi
ng we have been through you would do this shit to me. You are such a fucking whore, you know what happens to whores.” He stood me up, my head was swimming everything seemed to be going in slow motion. Before I could get my bearings he pulled me over to the sofa and ripped my robe from my body leaving me completely nude. He slammed my body against the sofa and started to undo the belt on his pants. Tears started to stream down my face.

  “So you’re going to rape me.” I said angrily. “Is that what you want, you are such a pussy.” I yelled. “I swear to god if you rape me you better kill me because I will call the police and have them arrest your ass and you better hope they get to you before my brother does.” He froze looking into my eyes. He sat down on the sofa slumped over with his face in his hands.

  “God, I am so sorry Ty, I don’t know what came over me. He looked at me. I sat up pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs trying to hide my nakedness. I was determined not to should how truly frightened I really was. “I thought we were going to work through our problems and then I saw the condom wrapper and I went crazy. Please baby forgive me, I promise I will never put my hands on you again. Give me another chance, give us a chance.” A tear started to fall down his face. He tried to hug me but I flinched back. “You need to leave now and I never want to see you again.” I said barely above a whisper. “If you try to call me or come by again I will press charges and get a restraining order against you. So if you value your precious reputation and career you will leave me alone.”

  “You don’t mean that Ty you know I love you.”

  I could feel my fear turning to anger. “You are confusing delusional love with real love. Real love does not require you to beat my ass because I don’t do something you like. I told you when you hit me the first time we were done. You are truly delusional if you think that there can ever be an “us” again. You killed that when you hit me four months ago. Now please leave.” He opened his mouth to say something then decided against it, instead his kissed my forehead walked to the door and left without looking back. I stood up steadied myself, walked to the door and locked it. I walked up the stairs slowly feeling pain reeling throughout my body. I had to hold onto the rail going up the stairs so that I could keep my balance. I walked directly into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I stepped into the shower and let the hot water spray all over my body. I tilted my face upward feeling the stinging pain of blow I took from the man who professed to love me. I remember sliding down the shower wall onto the shower floor lying in a fetal position and sobbed loudly. I cried because of the pain I felt in my body, the pain I felt mentally and the pain I felt in my heart. How could I have loved a man who hurt me physically, mentally, and emotionally? I was so shocked and ashamed the first time he hit me that I did not tell anyone not even my best friends, but I was not going to be a victim and I was definitely not going to stay with a man who hits me. I dragged myself out of the shower and got in my bed where I stayed all weekend ignoring several calls I received from my friends and you.

  Lawrence stood no longer able to contain his anger. “What’s his fucking name Ty.” He said louder than he wanted to.

  “I’m not telling you this story so that you can fight my battles for me I just want you to know that place I am coming from so hopefully we can move past it. “Babe I cannot stand by and knowingly let someone put their hands on you so I’m going to ask you again, what’s his name?”

  “I’m not going to tell you because I don’t want you to end up in jail because of me. I just want to know if you are still willing to give me a chance knowing that you will have to be patient with me?” Lawrence looked into her eyes and wondered how anyone could hurt someone so beautiful. He grabbed her by her waist and pulled her into a gentle hug.

  “I really care for you Ty and yes I can be patient.” He kissed her so gently that her heart melted. He lowered himself onto the sofa and pulled her into his lap. He rubbed her hair and back softly. “I want you to know that I will never put my hands on you other than to love you and to make love to you. I would never hurt you.” He kissed her forehead as she lay on his chest allowing him to comfort her. She didn’t know how long she was in that position before she fell asleep. Lawrence could not sleep he could only think about finding the animal that abused her and give him a taste of his own medicine. Starting tomorrow he would find out who he was and make him pay.

  -----------

  When Stephanie arrived home her cell phone rang. It was Ivan. She answered it.

  “Yes?”

  “Are you home?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m on my way up.” With that he hung up the phone. The doorbell rang and she opened the door.

  “Come in.” He walked towards the sofa and sat. “Would you like something to drink?”

  “No.” He said as he sat silently.

  “So, you’re here. Talk.” She said getting frustrated.

  He took a deep breath. “Are you seeing him?”

  “What?”

  “Answer the damn question, Stephanie. Are you seeing him?”

  “You know you’ve got a lot of nerve. First, you come to my house unannounced. Then you demand answers to questions you have no right to, but for the record, no, I am not seeing Lawrence. He and Tara are dating and he was asking me questions about her when you walked over.” Stephanie said with anger in her tone, blinking back tears. Why does she allow him to affect her? Ivan looked at her and he felt like a ton weight had been lifted off of his chest. He sighed deeply and walked over to her using his thumb to wipe away a tear that escaped. His entire left hand encased the right side of her face as he pulled her into a kiss. The kiss was soft but quickly deepened unleashing the passion he felt for her. His tongue delved into her mouth, coaching her tongue into his. They both moaned as Ivan reached under her tank top grabbing her breast, she felt her body melt into his warmth. Stephanie had a moment of clarity realizing what was happening and pushed him away.

  “No.” She said stepping back to put distance between them. “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to come in here kissing me like you own me and leave me wanting what I know you’re not willing to give. Please leave Ivan, because I can’t do this. You know how I feel and if you are not willing to truly give this a try then we have nothing more to say to each other. We will keep our relationship strictly professional. If you can’t accept that then consider this my resignation.” Ivan backed away and stared into her eyes. His expression was serious as he spoke just above a whisper. He cupped her face with both his hands as he looked into her beautiful eyes.

  “I can’t get you out of my head Stephanie. You are consuming my thoughts and I can’t make it stop, do you understand how that feels, not to be in total control? I sure as hell never had to deal with these types of feelings before. I don’t know what to do but I know I don’t want to lose you.”

  She looked into his eyes surprised at his revelation. “I’m willing to try. I can’t promise I will be any good at it because this is foreign to me. All I know is I want you; I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone.” He released her face, took her hands into his as he sat on the sofa, and pulled her onto his lap so that she straddled him. “Stephanie, look at me.” She turned her face to meet his stare. “I want to be with you, are you willing to give me a try?”

  “Yes.” She replied. “More than anything.” Tears formed in her eyes.

  “Good, so we will give this relationship thing a try.” He said and they both laughed.

  Ivan’s expression turned serious. “God, you are so beautiful.” He whispered right before he began to kiss her again. This time she did not resist. He pulled her in tight.

  “Steph, you feel so good.” His hands travelled up her top caressing her breast. He began a trail of kisses down her collarbone. He pulled her top over her head. Stephanie felt dizzy; she could feel his manhood expanding between her thighs. He pulled her face into his and kissed her so hard that she moaned. He parted his lips to receive her tongue
and she happily complied. She could feel the wetness soaking her panties. She pulled away and stood.

  “We can’t do this.” She said not so confidentially. “I mean we can, uh, but I can’t do this now. Trust me, I want you just as much as I feel you want me, but I don’t want to be just another lay for you. I know we decided to give this a try but I really think we should get to know each other before we sleep together.” Ivan looked at her with a slight smile. He stood walked over to her grabbed her waist and pulled her into him.

  “Steph, I will wait as long as it takes for you to be comfortable with us. I do want you but I can also understand your hesitation.” He brushed his lips with hers, and then gave her a soft but passionate kiss. “Have dinner with me tomorrow night. We can go back to Napoli’s.”