by John Hook
I launched myself at him, springing over the women, who ducked, startled. I was going to land on his chest with both feet. I crashed into the wall. Pain traveled through my entire body, but one shoulder and one knee seem to fare the worst and I crumpled on the floor. I sprang up again, to face him.
That’s when I noticed that he was on the other side of the room. He hadn’t moved. He was still behind the women. I had somehow crashed into the opposite wall. His expression hadn’t changed.
“Hard Caaase!” he said. Strangely enough, though the voice was deep and gravelly, the voice sounded affectionate.
“Quentin.” Izzy was enjoying himself. “Meet Guido.”
The woman with silver hair came over to me. I backed away another step or two, but then she threw her arms around me and I could feel tears on my neck. I stood there for a moment and then I hugged her back. It felt good. It felt like the right thing to do. I realized that I had some trust of this person, even though I had no idea why.
She pulled back and looked at me. “Oh, Quentin, I really thought we had lost you. I believe you are in there somewhere. I just hope we can pull you out.”
She touched my chest and began to concentrate, closing her eyes. I could feel energy begin to move into me, probing. Despite the trust I felt for this woman, instincts regarded it as an intrusion. I jumped back.
“Quentin, I mean no harm.”
I was edgy, unsure of myself, of these people, of my context. In the mountains it was just me. Everything else was assumed to be an adversary. I was having a hard time adjusting.
The woman with the dark hair and the dangerous eyes walked up to me. Her eyes shone, promising things I wasn’t sure I understood.
“Maybe he needs a little therapy first.” She tilted her head playfully as she looked up at me. “I’m Rox.”
“You’re Rox?”
I looked over at Izzy, who shrugged.
“I told you.”
Then I remembered that I had seen this woman saying “Rox” and just assumed it was my name.
Rox grabbed my face, which momentarily caused me to become alarmed. Then I felt a slight calming sensation come over me. It felt good. And then she planted her mouth over mine. I felt her tongue enter my mouth. I smelled something spicy and intoxicating. My nerves seem to quiet while at the same time feeling a swell of a much quieter energy. She moved her body across mine in a way that seemed to both make me feel safe and alive. Above all, I realized I felt desire.
Rox eased herself away from me. She winked and took my hand.
“Come, I want to show you something. It may help you remember.”
She led me out of the house. The fact that I was moving a little stiffly behind Rox seemed to be a source of amusement for the others in the room. Rox took me over to the main street and up a couple of blocks to an apartment building. We entered and went up the stairs. Finally we entered an apartment.
“Does this bring back any memories?”
It was a small apartment, humbly furnished and neat. There weren’t a lot of knick-knacks on the furniture. In fact, it didn’t look like it had been lived in for a while, but it did seem to stir things.
“This is yours?”
“We’ve spent some time here.”
I looked at her.
“And we are connected?”
“Oh yes. However, I guess you have to decide that.” Her eyes were like lights that seemed to see inside me.
“I am sensing something powerful and familiar here.”
“Good. You are going to have to trust us. Saripha too.”
“Saripha.” I said the name.
I looked at Rox again. Our eyes met..
“There is something dark in you.”
She smiled.
“That’s why you can trust me. You know it’s there. It is part of what you love.”
“We love?”
She smiled wider, making more promises.
“I think it’s time we try to recover more memories.”
She pulled me over to the bed and began undressing me.
“What did you say my name was again?”
“Shush. Don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll shout it out a few times before we are done.”
16.
“He may be a bit more cooperative now.” Rox winked.
We were back at the house. It was Izzy’s house, I was told. Intimacy with Rox had allowed me to let my guard down and she had tried to get me to reconnect to things in my past that she claimed knowledge of. However, although I could sometimes sense something off at the very edge of memory, I was never able to grasp it or look at it. Being close to Rox awoke a yearning and a feeling of connection, but I couldn’t find the other end of that connection in me. I trusted these people, and yet, except when Rox’s touch calmed me, I was wary. I felt like a caged animal that was always ready to run, back to the isolation of the woods.
The large dog-faced man they called Guido was gone. I sensed power in him and, although I was assured that he meant no harm, he made me nervous. I had agreed to allow Saripha to try to “find” who I had been and bring me back. It was hard to look into that face and not trust her. Still, I was uneasy enough that Rox kept massaging my shoulders.
The young Asian woman who carried herself so gracefully introduced herself as Kyo. As Saripha lit candles that gave off an unusual but calming scent, Kyo handed me what looking like a small staff or club of some sort.
“Pull it open and look at it.” Kyo nodded. “This once had meaning for you.”
I looked and saw the seam. I held it in both hands and when I pulled it apart, a polished, finely crafted metal blade was exposed. I knew nothing about making such things and yet I could sense the skill and craftsmanship that went into it. That was the odd thing about my state of being. I had a lot of knowledge that I didn’t even know I had and when I ran across something it came to me. But none of it was personal knowledge. Nothing I could remember was about me, who I was or things I had done and experienced before waking up in the tree. I knew this was a metal short sword that could be concealed in a wooden staff. I knew, just looking, that the edge was so sharp that it would cut you before you even realized it. But there was no personal recognition of the object, nor the eyes that reflected back at me from the gleaming surface.
I caught a reflection of Rox’s face in the metal. I realized her expression had become more tense and, absently, she had momentarily stopped rubbing at my shoulders. I turned, curious.
“Something wrong?”
She let out a breath and relaxed. “Sorry. The last time we used that to jog your memory I ended up with my throat slit.”
“I did that?”
“Long story. I was being pretty bad at the time.” She winked.
I turned back, sheathed the knife and handed it back to Kyo, shaking my head.
“Sorry. I think whatever I was, assuming you folks are right, is gone.”
“Saripha, there must be something we can do.” Izzy sounded worried.
“There is, I think. I was hoping we wouldn’t need it because I’m not sure what risks are involved.”
“Risks?”
“Yes, Quentin, risks. You are going to have to trust us probably more than your instincts are comfortable with. And I have to let you know that I don’t fully understand what I am about to attempt.”
“Maybe it’s not so bad if I am like this,” I offered.
“That may be true for you,” Saripha said with compassion that almost broke my heart. “We will lose a dear friend, but perhaps gain a new one. We will be haunted, but you are the one who must decide.”
“Okay, run it by me. I still don’t know what you plan to do.”
Saripha crossed to a table and picked up an inert rectangle. It was large enough and weighed enough that she picked it up in two hands. While I had no conscious recognition of the object, I was over the chair and back by the wall before she had even fully turned around.
“What is that?”
“It’s
hard to explain, Quentin. I said you are going to have to trust me. Come back and sit and I will explain what I can. I won’t do anything without your permission.”
I returned to the chair.
“Why does that thing make me feel so uneasy if I don’t remember it?”
“The mind is a tricky thing, and I suspect your glamour minds might be even trickier. I think the process of becoming a proto is like taking a rototiller to last year’s crops so you can plant new ones. The old seeds may be turned under in the soil, but if properly nourished can grow again.”
“You are saying that bits and pieces of what I used to know are still in here.”
“As, I suspect, is your true personality. Your personality is the framework that allows you to connect all your memories. Now, reach out and touch this.”
I hesitated and looked at Saripha. She was patient, nothing insistent in her kind features. She was willing to wait for my trust. I reached slowly. When I touched it with my fingertips, I could feel the surface warm up and a blue light leak out of cracks in the surface. No, not cracks. They seemed to be patterns. I pulled my hand away.
“What is it?”
“It is many things, but think of it as a talisman that is precisely tuned to you. Not you, but the you that you once were. At one time, you absorbed all the power in this object, this talisman, and you merged with it. It became completely tuned to you—your thinking patterns, your DNA, your personality. They are all imprinted in what this object contains.”
“You want me to merge with it again.”
“Actually, I’m not sure that will be enough. According to Guido, you need to take it into yourself. It needs to become truly a part of you.”
“What’s the difference?”
“That’s the risk—I’m not sure. However, it means this power becomes a permanent part of you.”
Just then, I had a brief image of the man with the metal skin, like sand. It faded as quickly.
“You are saying we don’t know what this will do to me and we won’t be able to undo it.”
Saripha smiled. “You always did catch on quick.”
I looked at the others. I sensed the turning point here. Part of me wanted to be with these people, love these people. Part of me was wild and wanted to flee back to the hills. However, I was alive and strong and I was very tempted to leave it at that. Nonetheless, something else deeper and darker nagged at me. Something I was trying to remember. I had a glimpse of it when I saw the metal man’s face. Something told me that remembering that was truly important.
“I’ll do it,” I said quietly.
Saripha held my eyes, probing.
“Are you sure?”
“No.”
“But you’ll do it anyway.”
“Yes.”
Saripha brought me into a small room with a mattress made out of tightly woven grasses. This was apparently where Izzy relaxed. It was covered over by woven textiles and stuffed pillows. Saripha covered over the windows with more textiles to keep the light even. The bed was surprisingly comfortable, but apparently that wasn’t the point. The position was the easiest for what needed to be done.
Saripha brought some hot water in and mixed a concoction with grasses and roots.
“Here, drink this.”
I sniffed it and made a face. Saripha laughed.
“It’s a lot less stinky when I make it in my world, but I have to make do here. It’s a natural sedative to help you relax and, honestly, to make your instincts less sharp.”
As usual, I didn’t know if that was a good idea, but I had decided to trust Saripha.
“Your world? Isn’t this your world?”
“I suppose it is now, but I did not come here the same way.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Every human here once lived in my world, at least as far as I can tell. They died and ended up here with these glamour bodies that can be reborn. I didn’t die. I am a witch and I was able to pass over into this world when the veils between the worlds were thin. If I die here, I will not become a proto.”
“Wait, slow down, you lost me.”
Saripha laughed and ruffled my hair. “My hope is that soon you will remember everything and I won’t have to explain. Now lie back and breathe deeply and slowly.”
I did as I was told. As I lay and let my breathing slow me down, Saripha took out a couple of clay pots with just a few dollops of lava in them. They weren’t for light. Saripha would pour just a couple of drops of something from a bottle onto the lava. A column of smoke shot up and a burst of scent reached my nostrils. Combined with the breathing and the sedative which was starting to work, it made me feel almost as if I were in a dream.
Saripha brought over the rectangle and held it over my chest.
“Carefully hold it on the edges.”
I did so. She let go. At first it seemed like it was going to be difficult to keep holding it up like that. The blue glow appeared again, filling in the outlines of shapes that were etched on the surface. As I held it there and the glow became brighter. It started feeling lighter and lighter. I lowered my arms and it just hovered on its own over my chest.
The glow increased further and the patterns bloomed and pulled away from the floating platform. They formed the image of a tattooed man the same size and shape as me, but made out of what looked like glowing blue spider webs.
“Relax now.” Saripha spoke in a very quiet, low register voice. “I’m going to slide my arms underneath you.”
I could feel her gently insinuate her arms under my back so that she ended up placing her hands against the base of my spine and the cervical area at the base of my neck. Her hands felt warm, and then I could feel energy pulsing through them.
“Now, lay still and focus on reaching out to the blue patterns and inviting them in.”
I wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, so I tried to visualize in my mind’s eye the shimmering patterns appearing on my skin. I was surprised to see it working. The body-shaped patterns drifted down with one set appearing on my skin in front, head to toe. I had no doubt the other patterns had done the same on my backside.
I noticed that Saripha had not taken her hands away. I also realized I still couldn’t remember anything.
“Saripha?”
“You have access to some of the power of the sigils when they are on your skin, but that is not enough to bring Quentin Case back. You need to draw them in, deeply. They must become part of you, entwining all that you are. You must do what would be extremely hard for Quentin to do. You have to surrender to the energy.”
“I’m going to lose myself if I do that.”
“Probably.”
“It will feel like dying.”
“Yes, I’m afraid it will.”
“And if I can’t… or don’t want to?”
“You are still in charge here. You must make this decision.”
All was silent for what felt like a very long time. Strangely, I couldn’t tell what I was thinking, but something was rolling around back there. I only know that I ended up with the resolve to do it.
“I sure hope you are right.”
Saripha gave me a sisterly kiss on the cheek. “Me too.”
I watched the patterns, which looked like tattoos of glowing blue wire, seep into my skin, creating the illusion that my body was being cut up into many small shapes and then the gaps filled in. I felt a more powerful surge of energy from Saripha’s hands and then from a point between my eyes the whole world was wiped away in a spiral.
At first I was falling through darkness and then I landed in a tunnel, which finally dropped me in a large chamber. The tunnel, more like a slide, had slowed me down enough that I could land on my feet without it being too jarring. I was in a chamber of highly polished black rock.
I looked around the chamber. There were a series of raised stands, seven of them, arranged in a semicircle. Four of them held rectangular platforms like I had used with Janovic and Baron Steel. The other three were
empty.
“You found your way here.”
I turned, recognizing the voice. It was Guido. He threw his arms around me and gave me a hug, which was both touching and weird from a magical being.
“You are Quentin again.”
I was used to Guido saying things that were confusing. I had pretty much stopped asking him to clarify because it almost never ended with a better result.
“How did I get here?”
“This is a way station you have created for yourself while the talisman reassembles your patterns. However, I could find you here.”
“You seem chattier than usual.”
“It is easier to talk to you here. You interpret it as me talking, but I can just think and it gets translated for you. It’s usually very hard for me to put the way I think in a form that makes sense to you.”
“Don’t take this personally, but most of the time it doesn’t.”
Guido nodded.
“So what’s this?” I pointed at the array of platforms.
“The other talismans.”
“I have one, Baron Steel has one. Where is the third missing one?”
“Would be nice to know.”
“And these other four, where are they really?”
“Safe for now.”
“What are they?”
“In time. You need to learn other things first. We will sometimes meet in a place like this because it will be easier. Right now, you need to learn how to use your talisman. Drawing it into yourself will reconstruct you and most of your memories. But you will also have something else inside you. The key to such power is to surrender to it, not try and control it.”
“Control is the way of Hell, and surrender is the way of…”
“...grace,” Guido finished for me.
I looked at Guido.
“Not much of that here.”
He smiled enigmatically. Although, really, I’m not sure a dog’s head on a man’s body can smile any other way.