by John Hook
“You said ‘most of your memories.’ I won’t remember everything?”
“Not at first. Some things will come back later once you are reintegrated. Some things may not come back or may show up years later out of the blue. Memory is like that.”
Guido tilted his head like a dog hearing another dog bark.
“What do you remember now?”
“I remember a Shade who called himself Baron Steel.”
“Be careful of him and his Manitor.”
“You mean Jackal-head.”
Guido grinned. “I can’t protect you in their territory. I also know I can’t stop you from doing what you are going to do.”
“I’m betting I’d have a tough time taking on any Manitor alone.”
“That’s the interesting thing about you. You have a low self-preservation instinct. If something doesn’t seem right, you get mad. If you get mad, you go after whoever they are, no matter what got you killed this time, I suspect.”
“That’s where I’ve been?”
“You were turned into a proto. We didn’t get to you soon enough.”
I tried to remember. And then it came. The angel holding my heart in its hand and crushing it.
“Yeah, looks like I went up against an angel, if my memory is accurate.”
“For now, stay away from them.”
“You forgot how stubborn I am.”
“I could never forget that.”
“I wish I could remember what happened at the tower. I don’t have a clear memory of everything before the tower, but I have nothing about what happened just before the angel grabbed me.”
“It will come, in time.”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to wait. I was looking for someone, a promise I have to keep. I think all of this may have something to do with him.”
“Before you go, work with Saripha. As she did with Rox, she can show you how to work with your new powers.”
“I’ll try. I’m not that great at this waiting stuff.”
“We’ll talk again, in a place like this. Be well, Quentin.”
Guido faded and I suddenly felt myself being yanked back, up the tunnel. I felt as if I crashed into my own face. I was having violent spasms. It felt like my body was rejecting something. My skin would glow blue and then fade and then glow blue again and then fade again. Izzy and Blaise were holding me down as Saripha applied her hands to my midsection. I could feel ripples of energy work their way in and slowly my seizures seemed to decrease, becoming less violent.
Finally, I felt something “other” separate and drop away into someplace deep within me. My skin stopped glowing and my muscles relaxed. I lay back in the bed and closed my eyes. I listened to my body become slowly quiet and still. I reasserted my breathing, letting it take in more and more air and pushed it out slower and slower.
I opened my eyes. There they all were, gathered around. Rox was at my side, Kyo, Izzy, Blaise, Saripha and, behind them, Guido had shown up again.
“That you, Quentin?” Izzy asked, anxiously.
I looked at Saripha and grinned.
“Gee, Auntie Em, there’s no place like home.”
17.
“What do you remember?’
“More and more. It seems that, now that I have my personality back, I can connect things again.”
We were all together in Paul’s office. Saripha, Guido, Rox, Izzy, Blaise, who had quickly been accepted by the group, Kyo, Rox, Taka, and the local Rockvale government made up of Paul, Sidney and the ever bored and distracted Zeon.
“What I still don’t remember is what is in the tower. Or rather, I don’t remember if I got into the tower or not. It may simply be that it was the last memory before being turned into a proto and it never had a chance to register.”
“So what is it you are planning to do?” Paul asked in a tone that communicated he really wasn’t all that keen on finding out.
“You want the good news or the bad news first, Paul?”
“If it is one of your plans I can’t imagine there being good news.”
Saripha put a hand on Paul’s. He was always calmer around Saripha, regarding her as the only other grownup.
“The good news is, I’m going to leave Rockvale again for a while.”
“To stir up trouble, no doubt.”
“Yeah, that’s the bad news. I have a gut feeling about two things. One is, there are people in that tower. In tracking Philip from Haven, people are disappearing and while some are in the underground tunnels, I got the impression they were being prepared for something. Everything points to the tower being that something. Therefore I want to get into the tower and get the people out because I am pretty sure horrific things are going on in there. It is also, quite honestly, where Philip’s trail leads. If he is alive, I still want to find him.”
“Your motives are noble but you are a stubborn fool.” Paul scowled.
“See, I did get my old personality back.”
Zenon chuckled while maintaining his “I’m bored and not listening” stare.
Paul turned to Guido, opened his mouth and closed it, and turned back. A subtle smile played on Guido’s jowls. Every so often, Paul would try to engage Guido, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He turned to Saripha instead.
“You see how insane all this is. Once more, Quentin is stirring things up.”
Paul turned back to me. “Hell is a big world. There are a lot of very terrible things going on everywhere. Somehow, and as much as I hate to say it, thanks to you, we have somehow secured a piece of this world where terrible things don’t happen to us. I suspect it is in part because, aside from being under protection of the Manitor,” Paul motioned at Guido without looking at him, “we do not create enough trouble to warrant anyone’s interest.”
“I actually suspect that’s not going to last anyway. The demon tribes we encountered in the next territory already have some interest in Rockvale and tales of ‘free humans.’ However, that isn’t the point.”
“Whatever is the point, Quentin, aside from getting us all turned into protos?”
“I don’t know why, but all of us…” I looked at Saripha. “…almost all of us died and ended up in this place, which is not always horrible but in which very horrible things happen. There are no good, moral choices here. You can find a safe place and hide while others are horribly tortured. Or you can fight it and end up having horrible things happen to yourself and your friends. In that conundrum, I choose action. I can’t just let people be tortured because that’s the way this world works. I don’t know if I’m fighting God, the Devil or just some bloody insane aliens, and I don’t care about the odds.”
“And so you also don’t care who else you take down with you.”
“Paul.” Saripha was trying to calm Paul a bit.
“Saripha, we deserve to carve out comfort for ourselves.”
“At what cost, Paul?” Saripha said. If I had said it, it would have sounded abrasive. “We are here for eternity as far as anyone knows and none of you, apparently, can truly die. The only thing that makes this place less than Hell are acts of compassion for others in desperate plight. We secured our life in Rockvale by choosing to act to save others. How can we stop now?”
“He has you all deluded. So what is your plan, Case?”
“As I started to say, I want to get the people out of the tower. I also want to destroy the tower. Whatever it is, we need to take it away from the Manitor. And we need to free the people, all the people, from the underground maze and from Haven.”
“You’d need an army to do all that.”
“Yes, Paul, most of it. I think we’ll need a much smaller group to first get into the tower without attracting too much attention, but to carry out the full-scale operation, we will need an army. There is a lot of demon activity in that sector and I’m sure all of them could be brought down on us. And these are stronger, more intelligent demons than the ones we had here.”
“And where do you propose getting
this army?”
“I plan on building it as I go. I’ll start with one of Kyo’s elite units and we’ll pick up more in Zaccora.”
Paul looked genuinely alarmed. “We’ll be defenseless here.”
“No, you will still have a strong defensive force. I don’t think anyone is prepared to invade Rockvale yet.”
Kyo nodded. “Paul, I wouldn’t approve this if I thought it put the town in danger.”
“Then I take it I am out-voted as usual.”
Paul looked around, but no one said anything.
“Why do I even come to these meetings? When you get back, Quentin, maybe you should be mayor.”
Later, what I thought of as the strategic group were gathered at Izzy’s: Izzy, Blaise, Kyo, Saripha, Taka and Rox.
“One memory I have is that I managed to turn into a proto twice. The first time I ended up blowing myself up.”
“I would have paid money to be able to watch.” Izzy snickered.
“Yes, and sometimes what kills us makes us stronger as well. We are going to need some major demolition to take down the tower. Apparently, this one kind of rock I discovered reacts with lava. As I learned the hard way.”
“What did you have in mind?” Taka was intrigued.
“Not sure. I was thinking if we had clay urns with a little lava in the bottom, a large chunk of that rock might get launched like a cannonball with enough of its mass intact to do damage.”
“Won’t the clay pot blow apart with the force caused by the reaction?” Izzy asked.
Taka thought about it. “Probably depends on how we shape the clay pot. Might only be able to be used once, but as long as enough forward force carries the rock, it could work. I really have to test this rock before we’ll understand how to do it.”
“Try not to blow yourselves up.”
“That’s what makes it fun.” Taka grinned.
“How do we find this spot?” Izzy asked.
“I spoke to Lazar. He knew the area pretty well. He should be able to guide you. You need to figure it out and get some of the rock over to the hills near the tower. Some clay pots with good elevation and we should be able to bring it down.”
“After you get the people out.”
“We’ll take a small force and join up with Roland’s dark men. We will take the walled city and that will prevent demon hordes from the south from moving up on us. I will take Blaise and Kyo and form a small forward party to break into the tower, hoping I can call on something from the magic kung fu I have in my body again.”
“And if you can’t?” Izzy asked.
“Plan B.”
“Which is?”
“I’ll get back to you on that.”
“I’ll be going to the tower as well.” Saripha said.
“No.” I protested immediately. “You aren’t even coming with us. Go back to Guido. You are in too much danger with us.”
Saripha put her hands on mine. “I’m an adult and a powerful witch. I can take care of myself. I make my own choices including the one to remain here or not.”
“But you aren’t like us,” I protested.
“In the most important way I am. I am trapped here. I can’t just hide because I’m afraid to die in this world any more than I could have in our world. Since you won’t wait while I help you learn how to harness your powers as I have with Rox, I may be useful when you need them. And you may need me to help with healing if things are as bad in that tower as you fear.”
“But you are more vulnerable. If I have to worry about you…”
“Oh, pooh,” Saripha teased. “We are all vulnerable in this world. We are here to serve our pain at the whim of psychotic beings. This is my choice, not yours.”
“Face it, we’re all as crazy as you are.” Rox tousled my hair.
I turned to Kyo.
“How are the troops? They know what they are getting into?”
“I made sure they understood. The Rockvale volunteers have become very loyal and motivated fighters. I sometimes think if I ordered them over a cliff they would go.”
“I would.” Blaise grinned. Kyo waved him off but managed a wink. There seemed to be some chemistry going on there.
“I tried to give them a perspective on the number of unknowns facing us. Anything going badly could cost us heavily.”
“What did they say?”
“They just said they hoped the protos they turned into could be rounded up and taken back to Rockvale.”
“It is an odd setup for the demons and magical beings here. The fact that we don’t die, we just get reborn. If there were a real rebellion, they could mow everyone down but we could just keep coming.”
“Except for the memory problem,” Kyo reminded me.
“If we could only solve that one…”
“One problem at a time,” Izzy mused. “Let’s start by seeing if we can build cannons.”
“What if Roland doesn’t go along with this?” Rox asked.
“What is your take on the situation?”
“I think he has been wrestling internally with how they treat the Zaccorans, but he isn’t a risk taker. He does have loyalties and he has a begrudging respect for you.”
“Not enough that he would put my concerns before his people’s concerns.”
“I told you before. If he doesn’t know if he can defeat the demons, he isn’t likely to take it on and have his people pay the consequences.”
“Guess I’ll have to be persuasive.”
“Without being annoying.” Blaise added.
“I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Me either.” Rox added.
“I’m guessing you’ll end up annoying him until he gives in,” Blaise said.
“Think that’ll work?”
“Unless it occurs to him that you be less annoying as a proto.”
“I probably wouldn’t be.
“True. But he doesn’t know that.”
“Good point.”
I had one more bit of unfinished business before we left Rockvale again. I came up to the familiar house and knocked. Anita opened the door. At first, seeing me, I thought I caught the glimmer of a hopeful expression, but it faded quickly as she saw I was alone. She stood there in the doorway, quiet for a while.
“May I come in?”
“Yes. Of course.” She turned aside and let me in. I looked over at the fire place where I had first seen Philip stoking a fire. He had been quiet, unconcerned about the young ruffian who was bothering his wife. I sat down.
“Can I get you something?”
“Sit, Anita.”
She sat down across from me. There were splashes of color in her dress and her hair seemed smooth and combed, but she kept her legs together and her arms folded in her lap and her mouth pulled tight. She still had herself closed off.
“I’m sorry you haven’t heard from me in a while.”
“I knew it would take time.” She paused. I could see pain in her eyes. “You didn’t find him, did you?”
“I think I may now know where Philip is.” I had noticed she had not yet used his name. She looked up.
“You are going to keep looking?”
“I made a promise I would find him. I haven’t done that yet.”
“You remember?”
“Of course I do. Why do you think I am here?”
“I heard you were turned into a proto.”
“And protos forget.”
She sobbed softly. So much of her was still the emotionally unavailable victim except for this one thread that connected her to Philip. That thread was so powerful it kept her going.
She nodded and wiped her eyes.
“You are afraid he will have been turned into a proto and forgotten you.”
She nodded again.
“I’ll be honest with you. I don’t know what I’m going to find when I find him. However, I will find him. I will bring him back. And if he is a proto, you will just have to remind him of who he is. And if he isn’t, I will do eve
rything in my power to protect him.”
Anita looked up at me and tried to smile. She would be quite pretty if she ever succeeded in fully smiling. I decided seeing that was a worthwhile goal.
“Do you know why he disappeared?” Anita asked.
“I think I do. He found a place that was supposed to be a place in Hell where people could be happy and protected.”
“And it wasn’t real.”
“No. Like many things here, it was a cruel illusion. But he wanted to make sure before he brought you there.”
“He should have come to me. I would have told him there was no such place.” Her scorn was really an expression of her anger at losing Philip.
“Hope is a rare gift in this place.”
“Hope is another form of torture in this place.” Anita spat. She looked at me harshly, as if all this were my fault, and then I watched her melt into deep and painful sorrow. I came over and she collapsed into my chest.
“I came here to let you know that I will find him. That’s not hope, that’s a promise. What has to happen after that, we’ll decide when we get there.”
It was a shock to see eighty men and women lined up in the sun. They were sharp and well trained because they had an incredible teacher, Kyo. On the other hand, they had no idea what they were getting into. They understood that they lived relatively unperturbed compared to the rest of Hell, other than occasional patrols to drive off demons. However, they no longer remembered the long oppression from the demons from which they were freed. I worried that they followed us too willingly, not understanding how bad it will be if we fail. They didn’t quite grasp that Rockvale could be plunged back into its recent dark time.
I sometimes wondered if Paul wasn’t right. Be grateful for what you can carve out. You can’t save the world. Unfortunately, I refuse to believe that you can’t make a difference even if you can’t win them all.
“What do you think?” Kyo came up.
“We’ve come a long way from a small group of citizens hiding in the hills.”
“This is our first real test since taking Rockvale.”
Saripha came up.
“Guido have anything more to say about the new Manitor?” I asked.