Cecilia tilted her head back to look at me, her eyes full of emotion.
“They’ll be here soon,” I said, reaching up to run my thumb over her cheek. “I trust Forrest more than any other person on the planet. I wouldn’t have sent Olive with anyone but him.”
“Toss me your keys,” Casper said, coming up behind me. “I’ll store your truck in the garage.”
I threw the keys to him and he left the room, but the moment between me and Cecilia was over. Not even a second later, Farrah came bustling in.
“Did you find anything to eat?”
“We didn’t check,” I replied. She huffed.
“There’s gotta be something.” She started opening cupboards. “Eureka!”
“What’d you find?” I asked as she started pulling cans out of the cupboard.
“Chili and chicken noodle soup. Good enough for the people we know!” she joked.
“You better check the dates on those,” I warned.
She paused, looking at the cans. “Yep. All good until next year.”
“I let the boys know we’re here,” Casper said, coming back into the kitchen. The space was getting really crowded with all four of us in there. “They found Mack, and said he’s in pretty rough shape, but the doctors are working on him. Rose is physically okay, but takin’ all of it hard.”
“Uh, yeah,” Farrah said. “She was fucking kidnapped.”
“It sounds like she held her own,” Casper said with a small sigh. “Now they’re just waitin’ on news from the doctors.”
“You told them not to mention where we are?” I said, hating that I had to. We knew there was a mole in the Sacramento chapter, and we couldn’t just assume that’s where it ended.
“I did,” Casper replied. He looked at Cecilia. “The boys know what’s happenin’ down here, but they’re keepin’ it to themselves. Once we’re home, we can decide who needs to know what.”
Cecilia nodded.
“Can’t keep this level of shit to ourselves,” Casper continued. “Even though you asked me to.”
Cecilia nodded again before pulling out of my arms. Crossing her arms over her chest, she left the room, closing herself into the tiny bathroom.
“Keeping this to ourselves seems counterproductive at this point,” Farrah said, leaning back against the counter. “We’ve got other kids back home wondering what the hell is going on. Charlie we can keep in the dark—but Lily’s not going to be put off much longer.”
“Now that things are calming down a little back home, I think Lil’s gonna have her hands full with Rose. We got time,” Casper replied.
“I just wish she didn’t feel so determined to keep everything a secret,” Farrah said, looking at the bathroom door. “It’s not like she’ll be able to keep things to herself once we get back.”
“She knows,” I said quietly. “She’s struggling with that, too.”
“We love her. Her aunts and uncles and cousins love her. Her sisters and brother and nephews love her. It’s like she’s forgotten that.”
“There’s a lot of hurt feelings on both sides, I think,” I said quietly as Cec came out of the bathroom.
“We’re going to have to figure out the food situation,” Farrah said without missing a beat. “We’ve got some canned stuff, but not enough to feed all of us.”
“I can send Lu later,” I replied. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, we heard the sound of a car out front. I barely got an arm wrapped around Cecilia’s waist as she bolted for the door.
“Let your dad get it,” I said as she tried to pull away. “Give him just a second.”
Casper looked out the window, then unlocked the front door and swung it wide.
“How was the drive?” he called out as we all moved toward the front of the house.
Cecilia slumped back against me as she realized it was Eli and Lu walking up the steps, not Forrest.
“All good,” Eli said. “Your boy’s right behind us—I think he was making an extra loop.”
Casper nodded as the sound of Cam’s bike came from the end of the driveway.
“Forrest get here yet?” Lu asked as she came inside.
“Not yet,” I replied.
Cecilia dropped onto the recliner, covering her face with her hands.
“She needs a break,” Lu said quietly to me. “I can’t imagine how she’s still upright.”
“No idea,” I replied. “I just keep thinking if we can get her home, she can rest. But I don’t know. There’s a lot of history up there, so she’ll be safe, but—”
“Emotionally, it’s a minefield,” Lu said in understanding. “Well, we’ll deal with that when it comes.”
My phone rang in my pocket and for a second, I froze.
“Answer it, dumbass,” Lu said, shoving me lightly.
Pulling the phone out of my pocket, I checked the caller ID.
“How’s it going?” I asked Josiah as I walked out to stand on the back deck.
“We’re on the road,” he replied.
“He even bought me road snacks!” Eph sang happily.
“Oh, great,” I muttered. “I’m on speakerphone.”
Josiah laughed. “We got her stuff packed up,” he said. “Did you know she keeps a bug-out bag? No shit. Found it in her closet. Spare change of clothes, extra magazines for a .37, shotgun and a box of shells, couple of burner phones, the works.”
“I’m guessing that was a gift from her dad.”
“Father of the Year,” Josiah said approvingly.
“No doubt,” Eph agreed.
“You’re headed north?” I asked.
“Yeah, man. We’ll be in Eugene tomorrow. What do you want us to do when we get there?”
“Get a cheap room and wait,” I said. “Not sure when we’ll be there, but we’ll get there eventually.”
“You know, rainy ass Oregon is not where I’d choose to go on a winter vacation,” Eph said conversationally. “I like the sun.”
“Yeah, man, I get it,” I said with a sigh.
“Just fuckin’ with you,” Eph said with a laugh. “I’ll be a happy man if I can find a place with a hot tub and room service.”
“I thought I said cheap?”
“Got bedbugs from a cheap room in Abilene one time,” Josiah said.
“Never again,” he and Ephraim vowed at the same time.
“Whatever. Just find a place to hole up and wait for us.”
“Will do,” Josiah said. “Uh, hey Chief?”
I stiffened at his tone. “What?”
“Didn’t seem worth gettin’ everyone worried, but thought you should know that her place had been tossed.”
“Say what?”
“They didn’t break anything, but they weren’t careful, either.”
“Not knowing what was there before made it impossible to tell if they’d taken anything,” Ephraim added. “But we found a small safe tucked up into the box spring under her bed that they must have missed. Hopefully, that’s where she keeps anything important.”
“Shit,” I said, turning to look into the kitchen window.
“She didn’t have a ton of sentimental stuff, but we made sure to wrap anything that could get ruined in transit,” Eph said.
“There’s a reason I hire moving companies when I change domiciles,” Josiah said primly. “Packing sucks.”
“I owe you guys.”
“Nah, she didn’t have much,” Josiah replied. “And since we didn’t move any furniture except the quilting frame, it went pretty fast.”
“The quilting frame was super light, anyway. Didn’t really count as furniture,” Eph pointed out.
“She has a quilting frame?” The idea of my wild Cecilia that could never sit still and was always looking for the next big thing, sitting down in front of a damn quilting frame, made me want to howl with laughter.
“Yeah,” Josiah said, sounding impressed. “It’s actually a pretty decent design, too.”
“Our gran had a wood frame that had
been passed down a couple generations—” Eph said.
“But it wasn’t nearly as multi-functional as this one,” Josiah cut in. “Your girl made hers out of PVC pipe, and—”
“Yeah, I bet it’s awesome,” I replied. “We’ve got shit going on here. All good on your end?”
“Roger that. Yep, we’re solid. I’ll let you know if that changes,” Josiah said, once again all business. “I’m not anticipating any problems.”
“Alright. Let one of us know when you get there and where you’re staying.”
“Will do.”
Ephraim’s voice poured into the phone singing On the Road Again, with an exaggerated southern drawl before the sound cut off.
Since I was already outside, I rounded the house and went inside the garage to grab a couple of Cecilia’s bags. I needed a minute of quiet to think. At some point, I was going to need to tell Cec that her shit had been ransacked, but now definitely wasn’t the time. Eventually, though, we’d have to figure out if anything was missing, and she was the only one who could tell us that.
When I got back inside, Cecilia was still sitting, still as a statue in the recliner.
“Hey,” I said, crouching down in front of her. “Why don’t we check out that cut and see if we need to change your bandage?”
She looked over my shoulder at the front door.
“Better to get it done now before she gets here,” I said, pulling her to her feet. “That way you don’t have to put her down later.”
I led her into the bedroom and closed the door behind us.
“It probably doesn’t need checking yet,” I said as I set the bags on the bed and sat down next to them. “But I’m always extra careful. The guys give me shit for it.” I copied Eli’s inflections. “Hey, Chief, better make sure that doesn’t scar your pretty skin.”
Cecilia shot me a brief smile as I pulled her to stand between my knees.
“They’re good guys,” I said as she lifted her shirt, holding it high so I could check out Forrest’s handiwork. “When I got out of the military, I was pretty aimless. Wasn’t sure what I was going to do, you know? Going from the club to the Marines meant I always had my group, always had built-in brothers.” I carefully pulled the tape away from her skin, working my way around the edges of the bandages. “So when the company I’m working for now started headhunting me, offering the same environment but considerably more money, I was pretty stoked about it.”
The cut looked a little angry and red, but nothing I thought we should worry about. I let out a quiet breath of relief. Knife wounds could be gnarly, especially if the knife wasn’t clean. Grabbing a tube of ointment from the bag, I used a piece of gauze to smear it along the wound.
“My first team was alright. Not great, not what I’d been hoping for, but okay. They just didn’t mesh well, too many cooks in the kitchen, if you know what I mean. Forrest was with me on that team, and Eph and Siah for a while. But then a few years back, some shit got switched up and we ended up with a new group—the one we have now.”
Cecilia wasn’t responding, but one of her hands had come to slide gently through my hair.
“There were some growing pains at first,” I said as I pulled more gauze and tape out of the bag. “I didn’t like Eli, and Lu and Josiah butt heads about anything and everything, down to what we eat for dinner. But eventually, things settled into a groove. We got to know each others’ strengths and weaknesses. Shit that bothered us in the beginning started to matter less as we got to know one another. Eventually, our team turned into one of the best—not only because we’re all good at what we do and trust each other, but because we know each other, good and bad, and we naturally pick up the slack if someone’s lacking—if that makes sense.”
She winced as I taped the bandage back on, but didn’t shy away.
“I shouldn’t have trusted anyone outside our circle. It was stupid. But between my team and your family, we have this handled,” I said, looking up into her face as she let her shirt drop back down to her waist. “I promise I won’t let anything else happen to you.”
Her hand came down to cup my cheek, and I sat still as her thumb slid over my cheek and down over the beard at my jaw.
“Why aren’t you talking?” I asked gently. “It’s just me and you in here. You can talk to me.”
She opened her mouth like she was going to answer me, then shut it again, her jaw flexing with frustration.
“Are you hurt?” I asked in confusion, looking down at her mouth.
Chapter 15
Cecilia
Was I hurt? Yes. My ribs throbbed every time I moved and the cut along my side stung and pulled. My cheek and jaw ached every time I made any expression. My mouth felt like raw hamburger from the inside of my cheeks being forced against my teeth. My stomach still churned from being hit, and even water made me nauseous.
I knew what he was asking, though. Was there a physical reason I wasn’t speaking?
No.
I just couldn’t make myself do it. I’d open my mouth to say something, to argue or agree, and I couldn’t. It was as if when I’d trapped all the sounds inside myself, I’d locked the door and lost the key. They were stuck inside my head and every time I tried to let them out, everything just shut down.
I couldn’t fix it no matter how hard I tried. Not even when they’d come up with the plan for Olive to travel separately from me. I hadn’t even been able to tell her goodbye, and that killed me.
“It’ll come back to ya,” Mark said, his hands smoothing over my hips. “Just give it a little time.”
I hoped he was right.
“Sounds like another car is pulling up,” he said. I was swinging open the bedroom door and flying through it before he’d even risen from the bed.
The front door was already open and my dad was standing in it. Beyond him, Forrest was climbing out of his SUV.
“All good?” my dad called, stepping out onto the porch.
“Yep,” Forrest called back.
I slid past my dad and hurried down the steps as Forrest lifted Olive from the box on the passenger seat.
“Here you go, mama,” he said, handing her to me. “I fed her that milk you pumped this morning, but it’s been a couple hours and she’s about ready again, I think. She’s a good road trip partner, slept most of the time and didn’t bitch once about my music.”
I barely heard him as I lifted Olive close to my face, running my cheek along hers. The weight and feel and smell of her comforted me in a way I couldn’t explain. Relief hit me so hard I found myself swallowing back a sob.
“Your music sucks, Forrest,” Lu said, coming up behind me. “Come on, hun. You guys better come back inside.”
I nodded and let her lead me back to the house.
“How’s she doing?” my mom asked as I sat down in the recliner. “She doesn’t look any worse for wear.”
Setting the baby down with her tush against my belly and her head near my knees, I unwrapped her. Forrest was a doctor, or at least had the training, and he knew how to take care of a newborn, but I still had an almost overwhelming urge to make sure everything was as it should be. I needed to be one hundred percent sure.
“All limbs, present and accounted for,” my mom joked. She squeezed my shoulder. “I know today was hard, sweetheart, but you did good.”
I nodded, still focused on Olive. Her little legs were bent at the knee against her belly and her ankles were crossed, and I didn’t know if I’d ever seen anything that was more wholesome or cute or made me feel more protective. God, she was so small, and she had no idea what was happening around her. Had she missed me while she was with Forrest? Had she panicked when she realized I wasn’t right there next to her? The thought of that made my chest hurt.
Diapers and wipes were set down on the arm of the chair and I looked up in surprise.
“Forrest said she probably needs a change,” Mark said. He dropped down on his haunches and laid his hand gently on her chest. “I didn’t like having her
away from us today,” he confessed. “Can’t imagine how it was for you.”
I couldn’t have even begun to explain how excruciating it had been for me. The irony was that when she was born, I’d been fully ready and willing to give her up. That had been the plan all along, and while the thought of it had hurt—it hadn’t felt overwhelming. She hadn’t been mine. But somewhere between her birth and sitting in that beach house in Northern California, things had completely shifted. I couldn’t imagine my world without her, I didn’t want to.
I changed her diaper and wrapped her back up, resting her against my chest as I leaned back in the chair. Finally, I could breathe again.
“We need to figure out something to eat,” my mom said as people trickled into the room, leaning against walls and sitting on every available surface. “And how we’re going to get home.”
“We will,” my dad replied.
“If I could make a suggestion?” Forrest drawled from his place on the couch.
“What’s up?” Mark asked.
“She needs to rest,” he replied, pointing at me. “I’ve been sayin’ it for days, and no one seems to be hearin’ me. Look at her. How much weight you think she’s dropped since we found her in that house?”
I frowned at him. It couldn’t be that much, all my clothes still fit the same. Besides, I’d just had a baby, of course I was going to start losing weight.
“A couple pounds a day,” Lu said quietly, looking at me. “At least.”
“Her appetite is gone, she’s barely sleepin’, we’re draggin’ her all over hell and back, and on top of that, she’s nursin’,” Forrest said. “It sounds like shit ain’t gonna slow down much once you’re home, either.”
“What are you suggesting?” my dad asked, his face expressionless. Oh, no. I knew that tone. It usually sent me and my siblings backpedalling before we ran for cover.
“I’m suggestin’ that we stay here for a bit. Let her rest, take a walk on the beach, bond with the baby, finish those fuckin’ antibiotics I brought her. We need to figure out our next steps, anyhow, and this place is as good as any. No one knows we’re here,” Forrest replied, obviously unfamiliar with The Tone.
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