“Problem,” Eli said, dryly. “Where are we supposed to sleep?”
Lu laughed. “Man, I’ve seen you sleep in a damn culvert,” she said jokingly. “I’m sure you can figure it out.”
“Couple of sleepin’ bags, and we’re fine,” Forrest said, shooting Eli a look.
“Well, I’ve got a bad back,” my brother said with a sigh, his eyes dancing.
“Boy, you think you’re takin’ the couch or the bed, you’ve lost your damn mind,” my dad said, raising his eyebrows as he gave my brother a good-natured shove.
Forrest dug his hand down in the couch cushions. “Good news,” he said, grinning. “It’s a pull-out.”
“Dibs,” my mom said quickly.
“Probably a good idea,” my dad said, meeting my mom’s eyes. “Give the family some time to get past the shit they’re dealin’ with before we bring more to their doorstep.”
“Sounds good, baby,” she said softly.
I leaned my head down so I could rest my cheek against Olive’s head, my lips tipping up in the corners. I didn’t know what it was about old Poet’s beach house, but it was like all of us were breathing a sigh of relief. I’d felt safe in the Sacramento clubhouse. Surrounded by people who were willing and able to put themselves between me and danger had been so comforting… until it wasn’t. But when we were there, we’d all been anxious to get moving, to get north and find Rose. Now that she was safe and we were getting good news from my uncle and aunt, that pressure was gone.
Here, it was like we were hidden at the end of the world where no one could find us.
Olive began to fuss so I carried her into the bedroom and sat down on the bed to nurse her. At some point, I knew I’d be able to nurse her in company without a second thought, but it still felt like we were figuring it all out, and I didn’t really feel like flashing my dad for a solid five minutes while she tried to navigate my nipple and determine exactly what she was supposed to do with it.
When she was finally latched on, I leaned back against the headboard and sighed, listening to everyone discuss logistics in the living room. I probably should have been out there and part of the conversation, but honestly? I could barely even follow it. I was so worn out, any attempt to help would probably be useless.
“I’ll go,” Lu said. “If I curl my hair and put on some make-up, I doubt anyone would even recognize me if they saw me.”
“That’s flat out untrue,” Forrest argued.
“That’s a good idea,” my mom said at the same time. She laughed. “You men have no idea how much of a difference a little cosmetics can make.”
“I’ll go with you,” Cam said. “We can drive pretty boy’s car.”
“Hey, now,” Eli complained. “That’s going a little too far.”
“No, that’s a good idea,” Mark said. “Then if anyone’s asking about your rig and their descriptions, they won’t put it together.”
“I would,” my dad pointed out.
“But you’re not the average bear, Cody,” my mom said. I couldn’t see them, but I imagined she was patting his chest proudly.
“I’m gonna need a list,” Lu said. “We need sleeping bags.”
“New burner phones,” Cam added.
“Groceries,” my mom and Eli said at the same time.
“Toilet paper,” Forrest drawled. “There’s a lot of people here.”
My dad chuckled. “You all figure it out. I’m gonna make some calls, let the boys know we’re stayin’ here for a bit.”
“That a good idea?” Forrest asked cautiously.
I could only imagine the look on my dad’s face.
“We’re not spreadin’ it around,” he said finally. “Only a few of us know what’s happenin’, and for now, we’re keepin’ it that way.”
The room grew quiet.
“Forrest has brass ones,” I finally heard Eli mutter. “Seriously. Can I see them?” I heard a thump and then Eli complaining and laughing at the same time. “Ow! You know you were all thinking it.”
My eyes grew heavy as I pulled Olive up to my shoulder to burp her. A few minutes later, just as I’d put her on the bed next to me and laid down, Mark came into the room.
“You want me to take her?” he asked quietly, resting his hand on my hip as he leaned over to look at Olive.
I shook my head. I wasn’t ready for her to be out of my reach yet. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be.
“Alright,” he said. He rounded the bed and gently climbed in behind her. “Go to sleep,” he whispered. “I’m just going to lay with you guys for a while.”
Within minutes, I was out.
* * *
“What did Wilson say?” Lu asked as my mom passed out plates of pigs in a blanket and macaroni and cheese.
The sun was setting and the darkness was making me a little jumpy, but I was doing my best to hide it. The sun went down. It happened every day without fail. I needed to get a handle on my nerves.
“He’s been talking with Kaley Campbell for a couple of days. He said that at first she thought it was some sort of trap, but it sounds like she’s cooperative now,” Forrest replied, setting his plate on his knees. “She’s full of information. Turns out, if the rest of the militia knew it was Drake that took out his pop, the man wouldn’t have long to live.”
“The problem with that is they’re not gonna believe a word we say,” Cam said. He looked up as my mom handed him a plate. “Thanks, Ma. This looks great.”
I rolled my eyes. He was such a kiss-ass.
“And who knows how they’d feel about Olive,” Mark said. “Could want nothin’ to do with her, could see her as the princess and want her with them.”
“Is there any way we could get word to them and somehow leave Olive out of the equation?” Lu asked.
“Could be,” my dad said. “But makes it less believable since Olive’s birth was the kid’s motivation for offin’ his pop.”
“Even if we get this shit sorted and the Warren kid’s no longer a problem,” Eli said quietly, “the more we find out about these people, the less inclined I am to do nothing.”
“How do you mean?” my mom asked, sitting down between my dad’s feet, her back against the bottom of the couch.
“There’s whole families in there,” Eli said, looking down at his plate. “Women and children with no way out.”
“You’re talkin’ about war,” my dad replied flatly.
“Yes,” Eli said simply, lifting his head to meet my dad’s gaze.
“First, we make sure Cec and Olive are safe,” Mark said firmly. “That’s the mission.”
“Fuck—” Eli began to argue.
“I’m not sayin’ never,” Mark cut in. “I’m just sayin’ not yet. Our priority is Cecilia and the baby.”
“Patience,” Forrest said quietly, reaching out to thump Eli on the back.
“That’s not one of my strengths,” Eli mumbled.
“Yeah,” Lu said dryly. “We know.”
They continued throwing around ideas about how we could tell the Free America Militia that the prince had killed the king, but no one knew a fail proof way to do it. Even reaching out to them put me and Olive in danger, because as far as we knew, the group had no idea we existed. It was decided that Drake must have hired the men who were helping him. According to Wilson, the dead men he’d fingerprinted—ew—had no ties to FAM that he could find, and the woman he’d been talking to hadn’t recognized any of their photos. Apparently that was a good thing, because men who worked for money were far less likely to stick around when shit went south than men who felt loyalty to their leader.
I figured it didn’t really matter either way. Things hadn’t gone south for them. We were still being hunted.
I picked at my food, wondering how long we’d be able to stay at Poet’s little house. While it was a relief to be there, it was temporary. Soon, we’d be on the move again, racing toward Eugene and a whole group of people who would both fight to the death for me and didn’t want anything t
o do with me. I was anxious to be there, safe behind the walls of the clubhouse, but I also dreaded it.
I could only choke down a few bites of my food before I couldn’t make myself eat any more. Folding my plate in half to hide the leftovers, I got to my feet and carried it into the kitchen garbage.
“You have to eat more than that,” Mark said softly, his hands wrapping around my waist from behind. He was always gentle and avoided my stitches, but I still cringed until I realized that he hadn’t hurt me.
I nodded and sighed, gingerly leaning back against him. I was so angry with him, but I was so glad for his presence. Our conversation back in Sacramento had opened wounds that I’d thought were healed. It had been years since I’d let myself think about the way he’d left me, about the helpless rage and panic I’d felt, about the decisions that had come afterward.
I was also so grateful he was with me that I could’ve fallen to my knees and wept. He made me feel safe. Having my brother and dad around comforted me, too, but it was a different kind of safety with Mark. He knew me in a way they didn’t, even after all those years apart.
“I think we’re going to try to make contact,” Mark said, leaning forward a little so his cheek was against my temple. “Anonymously reach out to the highest men in the organization with what we know.”
I fought the tensing of my muscles as he spoke.
“If they aren’t receptive, we’ll do it another way,” he said, his thumb gently smoothing back and forth over my ribs. “But, best case scenario, they take care of it in-house and we don’t have to deal with any of it.”
I wanted to argue, to tell him that I’d never be safe that way. That even if Drake was dead, we didn’t know whether or not the militia would come after me and Olive anyway. If Drake was dead, all of the Warren money would be legally Olive’s, and while I never planned on going through the channels to get it, the fact that she was out there with that kind of power may be reason enough for the militia to hunt us down. I wanted to point out that telling them about Drake might not have the effect they were hoping for because Cane was financing them. If Drake was dead, that money flow would dry up instantly. It would be infinitely better for them to keep Drake alive.
I opened my mouth and nothing came out. Not a single noise. My hands fisted at my sides. I needed to speak. I reached out and smacked the countertop hard, the sound reverberating through the small house. Unfortunately, it didn’t relieve the frustration I was feeling. Instead, the noise scared the shit out of me and I froze, my heart racing as I fell into a full-blown panic attack.
I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have made that sound. My eyes went to the darkness outside the window. There were no curtains, and the feeling of being watched became so strong that I jerked out of Mark’s arms and dropped to the floor so I couldn’t be seen.
“Cecilia? What the fuck?”
“What happened?” my brother asked from somewhere above me.
“I have no idea,” Mark replied. He reached for me as I curled myself into a ball against the cupboards. “She smacked the counter and then dropped.”
“Is she okay?”
“She did it on purpose,” Mark said in confusion.
I watched as my brother’s eyebrows furrowed and he strode toward the back door. “She see something out there?”
“I was lookin’, too,” Mark said in frustration as I slapped his hand away from my arm. “I didn’t see shit.”
“I’ll check, anyway,” Cam said, stomping outside.
“CeeCee?” my mom asked. “What’s going on, honey?”
I looked past her. Olive was asleep on the bed all the way across the house. She was all alone in there.
Still conscious of the watchers outside the window, I started crawling toward the bedroom.
“The fuck are you doin’?” my dad asked, getting up from his seat.
I ignored him, jerking away from Mark as he tried again to lift me to my feet. My focus was absolute, even as I felt the stitches pulling against my movements and my head throbbed. I just had to make it to the bedroom without anyone outside seeing me. If they saw me, they’d know where she was.
“She’s trying to get to Olive,” Lu said hoarsely, her tone one I hadn’t heard before. “Mark, stop. Just let her get to the baby.”
By the time I reached the bed, my knees felt bruised and my hands were red and dirty, but I didn’t even notice as I pulled Olive gently onto the floor with me. Scooting on my ass, I pressed us into the corner between the bed and the wall and let out a long breath of relief.
“Don’t,” my mom said to someone in the living room. She’d placed herself in the doorway, keeping everyone out. “I’ve seen this before.” Her voice broke. “If one of you steps inside that room, you won’t be coming out on your own two feet.”
“Ladybug?” my dad said in confusion.
“Callie almost shot Grease when he tried to get to her,” my mom said, her voice low. “You have no idea what a wounded animal will do when it’s cornered. Give her a minute to breathe.”
I lifted my head to look across the bed. My pistol was in my purse on the opposite side of the room. I calculated how long it would take me to get there and back while holding Olive and decided it was too risky. As long as we were quiet, we were safe in the corner. The minute we moved, we’d be in danger again.
Chapter 16
Mark
I stared at Farrah guarding the bedroom door. I could make it past her—I was fast and she wasn’t expecting it—but the minute I got inside, I knew Casper would be dragging me back out. He wouldn’t be pleased that I’d manhandled his wife or ignored her orders. I silently debated back and forth whether or not the drama would be worth it, and eventually came to the conclusion that it would make an already fucked up situation a hundred times worse.
I couldn’t believe the way Cecilia had snapped. One second, she was standing in my arms listening to me talk, and the next she’d been on the floor like she was dodging bullets. I’d never seen anything like it.
We’d done rescues before where the people were seriously fucked up. Tortured, brainwashed, the whole nine yards—but I’d never seen anyone snap the way Cecilia just had. I’d known it was coming, that eventually she’d hit her breaking point, but I still hadn’t been prepared for it.
“How long am I supposed to wait?” I asked Farrah flatly, watching Cecilia over her shoulder.
“Give her a minute,” she said stubbornly.
“Five,” I replied. “Five minutes, and then I’m going in there.”
Casper huffed.
“I’ll go through both of you if I have to,” I told him quietly. I respected the man, and I liked him, but there wasn’t a single person on the earth that would keep me away from Cecilia. Not even her parents.
“Didn’t see a thing,” Cam said as he came back in the house. “It’s quiet out there.”
“Don’t think she was respondin’ to a threat,” Casper said wearily. “Least not one anyone else can see.”
“I’m gonna need to check those stitches,” Forrest said apologetically. “She might have ripped a couple open.”
“I’ll check,” I told him, still watching CeeCee. My skin felt tight as I crossed my arms over my chest. It had to have been the longest five minutes of my life. “No one goes in there but me.”
“Wait a second,” Cam started to argue.
“Leave it,” Casper ordered. “If that was Trix in there, you’d be sayin’ the same damn thing.”
“Not the same, and you know it,” Cam shot back. “I didn’t leave Trix and completely fuck up her life.”
“You did plenty,” Casper replied calmly. “And if I remember right, you weren’t real pleased when Dragon put himself in the middle of that mess.”
“Dragon?” Eli whispered in disbelief. “I need a fucking nickname.”
“None of this is helping,” Farrah said in exasperation. She stepped to the side. “Go ahead,” she told me.
She’d barely gotten the
words out before I was striding past her into the room. I slowed as I got closer to Cecilia, watching carefully as I crouched down in front of her.
“Hey,” I said softly. I wanted to pull her into my arms, but I had no idea how she’d react. “Cam checked outside. There’s no one there.”
Her eyes met mine and I jerked back like I’d been sucker punched. Fuck. The fear in her eyes was so overwhelming, it made me sick to my stomach. Dropping to my ass, I carefully scooted forward until my knees bracketed hers.
“You’re safe,” I said, cautiously smoothing her hair away from her face. “I’m right here, Cec. You and Olive are safe.”
There was no indication that she’d even heard me.
“You know, there’s a safe room behind the closet,” I said, sliding my hand to her shoulder. I rubbed her neck soothingly with the side of my thumb. It took everything inside me not to pull her toward me. “We can put you in there if you’d feel safer. If I know Poet, it’s probably got at least a chair in there for you to sit on.”
“I don’t know what the hell to do,” Farrah hissed from the doorway, clearly replying to a comment I hadn’t heard. “Wait?”
“You’re scaring everyone,” I told Cecilia. “We need to know you’re okay, baby.”
My stomach twisted as her eyes shot to the doorway and then back to me.
“You want me to shut the door?” I asked. I waited for any indication that was what she’d been trying to tell me, but she didn’t move. “Okay, I’ll shut the door.”
I got to my feet and, ignoring Farrah’s look of astonishment, closed the door in her face. When I turned back around, Cec and Olive were still in the exact same position.
She could stay there as long as she wanted. If she needed me to sit with her, I would—all night if that’s what it took. But, I needed to check those stitches on her side, and I hated to acknowledge it, but at some point, Olive was going to start fussing to be fed and changed, and I had no idea how Cecilia would react.
Craving Cecilia Page 19