by BJ Blakely
I have a fifteen minute walk ahead of me, but my mind is fucking racing with every single step.
I think of Jax, wondering what he’s been doing this past month.
I still can’t believe he left so suddenly.
I know his boss called, but damn, the dude seriously left in the middle of the date.
Something I’d said about the truck stop pissed him off.
“Stop, Logan,” I urge myself as I walk down the dilapidated sidewalk on Sheridan Avenue. “You didn't piss him off. Unless he hates truck stops or glory holes. If that's the case, he’s not good for you. He’s too judgmental to be in a relationship with.”
This makes sense. Yet Jax doesn't seem like the judgmental type.
For fuck’s sake, he was a vegan at one point in his life. Surely he wouldn’t be such a prude about a glory hole in a truck stop?
As if by magic, I reach the Truck n’ Munch, and my thoughts of Jax fade to the wings.
“You can’t think of him now,” I say through gritted teeth. “You’re here to meet the mystery guy. Or if he doesn’t show up, then someone else. Jax isn’t coming back and you know it.”
I push open the bathroom door. I take tentative steps, passing the urinals, sinks, and frontmost stalls, until at last I reach the last stall in the row.
It’s empty, of course. I slide inside, setting my work bag on the ground next to the toilet.
The glory hole stares ominously at me with its one eye, but I ignore it.
I’m the only one in the bathroom, and I don’t need to give it my attention yet.
Thirty minutes later, I’m still waiting.
A handful of truckers have come and gone, but none have ventured to the far stalls.
My plan is a bust, a total fucking failure.
Forest, though well-intentioned, was wrong.
My mystery guy isn’t showing, and I should return home so I don’t waste the rest of my Saturday night.
But everything comes to a halt when someone suddenly throws the bathroom door open and walks to the stall next to mine.
16
Jax
My heart’s pounding as I slide into the bathroom stall.
I’ve been driving the entire afternoon, and I can’t stop replaying Lucas’s words in my head.
“He’s with someone else, so you’d better get your ass back to Bear Springs.”
My heart hurts as I enter the stall and lock the door, and as I settle into the seat, I can’t help but think if it’s too late.
For Christ’s sake, I’ve been away a month.
I didn't give Logan any indication that I’d be back, or that I’d be interested in something serious with him.
How can I fucking follow through with my plan to sweep him off his feet if he's already moved on?
Emotions swirl through me like a Category Five tropical storm. All I want is to rush to the diner.
I have to convince him that I want him, that if he gives me his heart, I won’t abandon him like last time.
Tears sting my eyes, and I’m tempted to rush out of the bathroom and head to Betty’s Biscuits at once, but something tells me to stay.
I don’t know if it’s Lucas’s words or something else. After all, Lucas told me to wait in the Truck n’ Munch, and that Logan might show up.
But the truck stop bathroom is empty.
There’s not a single fucking person in here.
I’m sitting in this fucking stall alone with no way to tell Logan how much he means to me or that I left my fucking freight unattended or that Jonah could fire me for subversion.
It’s a bust. My plan fucking sucks.
Except suddenly I hear it. Three soft taps on the stall.
Tap tap tap.
A soft voice follows the taps tonight. “Looking to suck?”
My heart swells to mammoth proportions. It’s him.
In my hurry to get to the stall, I must’ve overlooked the fact that someone was occupying the stall next to mine.
I can’t see his face, but I’d recognize that beautiful voice anywhere.
I tap three times on the stall and wait.
And wait.
And after an eternity with my heart in my throat, Logan unzips his pants and pokes his cock through the hole.
Emotions well up inside me, and I swear to God I could cry.
At once, I don’t care if Logan’s been with other men since we last met.
His cock is so fucking beautiful, perfect in every way.
I take it into my palm, relishing the way it feels as I wrap my fingers around it.
I study the length, the veins, the freckle on the tip.
Nothing has changed, but the knowledge that this is Logan’s cock goddamn near fucking takes me over the edge.
Fireworks explode as I swallow his length, letting it slide down my throat gracefully, the soft tip gliding along the roof of my mouth.
I moan and pull Logan’s balls through the stall, massaging and teasing them as I stimulate his shaft.
Logan reacts to this stimulation by letting out a desperate moan and thrusting himself deeper into the hole, ramming his cock down my throat as if he’ll fucking die without me.
But there's something Logan doesn't know.
He’s not going to die without me.
But if I don’t swallow every bit of spunk, lap up every fucking bead of red-hot come like a goddamn fucking feral animal on the verge of starvation, I’m the one who’ll die without him.
I have a Logan-shaped hole in my heart only his seed can fill.
Suddenly, Logan cries out and says something that freezes me to the spot.
“It’s you,” Logan cries, trembling in my mouth. “It’s you, I know it is. What the fuck, dude. I’ve been looking for you forever. Where did you go?”
His voice is instantly recognizable. How did I miss it before? The soft tone, the desperate innocent inflections can only be him.
I suck his cock harder, pumping my head on it while stimulating the underbelly of the shaft with my hot wet tongue.
But that’s when the meaning of his words hits me and nearly knocks me to my feet.
He’s asking where I went. Obviously, he doesn’t know it’s me — as in Jax from Betty’s — but he’s missed the mystery man from the truck stop terribly.
My heart fucking cracks in two, and a wave of guilt overwhelms me at the thought that Logan has been searching for me for fucking months and I abandoned him.
I’m the world’s most awful fucking person.
But at least I have one saving grace.
Sucking Logan off is the best way to compensate for the weeks and months I’ve abandoned him.
Letting him nut in my mouth is the single-handed best fucking way to show him I’m back, that I care, that this time, if he puts his fucking trust in me, I’m not going anywhere.
With a primal roar, I attack his cock, slamming it down my throat hard enough for it to bust a fucking hole, gagging and moaning as spit flies from my mouth, splattering on the tile.
I squeeze his balls, unleashing a torrent of pain in his trembling young body, and Logan screams and throbs, letting me know this primal intensity is what he needs to come.
On a whim I yank his cock out of my mouth, before greedily attacking the tip, sucking and swirling my head around the shiny shaft, lapping up every fucking drop of salty pre-come that gushes from his sexy pink slit.
With a feral grunt, I bring my lips to his balls, sucking and wetting them, popping them in my mouth one after the other, inhaling his taint musk while jerking his shaft, triggering the orgasm-inducing squelching that sends shudders racing through our bodies until Logan is ready to come.
It takes two seconds for him to barrel over the edge.
“Fuck,” Logan cries out, gripping the top of the stall, screaming and bucking into my mouth, his body shaking as he sends shot after shot of white-hot spunk into my throat.
Fireworks explode around us, and I grunt greedily and lap up every fucking drop,
swirling my tongue around his cock head, desperate to taste every fucking bit of him, to clean everything, to let him know I’m back and I’m not fucking going anywhere.
The regret hits me like a fucking bomb the second he stops coming.
I remove his cock from my mouth and realize this was a mistake.
A colossal fucking mistake that will only hurt us both.
It's selfish and hopeless to try to start a relationship with him.
I'm not capable of giving him what he needs.
He deserves someone who's not going to run when it gets tough.
To say nothing of the fact that I'm a trucker and always on the road.
I grit my teeth and tug up my jeans. I'm on the verge of leaving when Logan says something that sends my blood cold.
“I want to apologize in advance for what I’m about to do. It’s horrible etiquette, but we’ve been doing this for nearly ten months, and I need to know who you are. I’m going to peep through the glory hole, if that’s okay. If you don’t think I’m cute or whatever, it’s fine. No pressure.”
Logan drops to his knees.
An eye appears in the glory hole.
Logan
My head spins as I get on my knees and break the biggest glory hole rule known to man.
It’s taboo as hell to fuck with this level of trust and steal a glimpse of your anonymous partner, but I can’t help it.
The stranger is finally back.
He’s back.
After all these months, I’ll be damned if I let him slip away again.
I take a sharp break and bring my eyes to the glory. But what I see fucking freezes me to the core.
Oh fuck.
It’s Jax.
Whaaaaaaaat.
It’s too damn much to take. I try to speak but my voice sticks in my throat.
I open my eyes wider, but the sight doesn’t change.
It’s Jax, all 6’2” of him, truck tattoos, bulging muscles and all.
But what the hell is he doing in the Truck n’ Munch, and why the hell is he on the other side of the stall from me?
I take three deep breaths to center myself and summon the will to speak. “Uhh… Jax? Don’t think I’m not happy to see you. But I was kinda expecting someone else.”
Jax bites his lip. “Hi, Logan.”
A million questions race through my mind as I study Jax in the dingy bathroom light.
How did he know I’d be here, waiting for the mystery guy?
Did he bump into the mystery man outside, who told Jax how great my dick was, and Jax asked to switch places after the mystery guy sucked me off to surprise me?
I can’t think of any other explanation.
Not unless…
“Oh sweet Jesus,” I mutter. “Fuck no. This can’t be.”
I turn to face Jax again through the glory hole, and Jax is staring as if he’s realized something long ago that I have yet to grasp. He’s leaning against the other side of the stall, but he’s so hefty it nearly crashes under his weight so he quickly stands up straight. I study his face, mouth, come-speckled chin. But it doesn’t hit me until I look at the bulge in his jeans.
Jax is hard as a rock.
This time, there’s no mistaking it.
The outline of his bulge is exactly the same as the mystery man’s.
AHHHHH.
Jax glares at me. “Come out of the stalls, Logan. We have to talk.”
I can’t speak. I try to clench my fists. But then I realize Jax can only see my eye through the hole, so reluctantly I say, “Nah, I’m good.”
“There are very comfortable picnic tables outside. It’s a hell of a lot more comfortable than talking through a glory hole.”
“Maybe I want to talk through a glory hole,” I shoot back, quick as lighting.
“Why the hell would you want to talk through a glory hole?” Jax queries. No doubt he thinks I’m some kind of freak.
I still can’t get over the fact that Jax is the mystery man.
What. The. Fuck.
I clear my throat. “Maybe I feel safer here. You can’t get too mad at me through a glory hole, ya know.”
“Oh for Christ’s sake.” Jax snorts. “As if. You’re the one who should be mad at me.”
I shake my head. “I’m not mad at you. Unless, of course, you’ve known about this for a while. Then, I’ll be very, very mad that you didn't tell me.”
Jax scrunches his face tight, and I brace myself for his answer. “Uhh, sorry. I’m trying to decide whether or not I should lie.”
“Lie, and I’m outta here,” I say. “I want to know how long you’ve been sucking me off while knowing I was your waiter at Betty’s.”
Jax sighs. “A month.”
“A month?”
“You let it slip while you were on the phone with your roommate at Tilly’s. I put two and two together. And then I freaked out and put as much distance between us as I possibly could.”
My jaw drops. “And you didn’t think to tell me?”
I can’t believe this, but at least I’m grateful he didn't know earlier. That’d be weird, if Jax knew months ago and kept sucking me off under the auspices of the glory hole.
From what he tells me, the situation is a helluva lot less creepy.
Jax lets out a pained sigh. “Look, Logan. I’m sorry. I wanted to stay, but I freaked out and left. I was obsessed with your cock for months, and it’s weird that you were my waiter. When I asked you to Tilly’s, I didn't realize my feelings would be so strong. But I figured it was okay, because it was a date, with no strings attached.”
I snort. “For you, maybe. But I was starting to like you.”
Jax shakes his head. “I felt things too. Lots of things. All the things.”
Jax sighs. “That’s why when I found out that I’d also sucked and dreamed about your perfect cock more times than I could count, it freaked me out. Here you were, this perfect guy, with such a beautiful soul, and who also had the hottest, thickest, girthiest cock I’d ever seen. Considering I was a trucker and would barely see you again, it was a recipe for disaster.”
The pain in Jax’s voice touches me. My eyes well with tears as I stare at this beautiful man baring his soul to me.
Deep down, I’m still pissed he left without a real explanation. But I get it. Even if I’m still a little peeved.
I shake my head. “Thanks, Jax. Not the worst compliment I’ve ever received.”
Jax stares into my soul. “I’m sorry I left. I’m so fucking sorry. I freaked out, Logan. It was wrong, and I should’ve come back the second I realized I loved you, instead of dicking around with work for the last month.”
My heart freezes. I stare at Jax. Did he just say what I think he said?
Oh Jesus. Please tell me I didn’t imagine that.
I clear my throat. “Uhhh, Jax. Call me crazy, but it almost sounds like you said the L-word?”
Jax furrows his brow in confusion. “The L-word?”
I sigh and roll my eyes. “Yes. You know the one.”
Jax ignores this. “No idea what you’re talking about. I said I like you… No need to get dramatic and say I said the L-word. It’s way too soon for that. And besides, I’m not going to say that unless I’m damn sure you L-word me back. I might be a trucker, but I still have a few working brain cells left after a life on the road.”
I snort and dazzle Jax with a devilish grin. “You definitely said the L-word.”
He grunts and shakes his head. “I wouldn’t say it unless I was sure you L-word-ed me.”
I cock an eyebrow at him. “Hmmm. Well, I’d like to say I L-word you, but unfortunately, I’ve been moping around the last three months crying like a banshee, and I’m a little too P-word-ed off that you left me without dropping to one knee at Tilly’s to feel very much of L.”
“P-word?”
I groan and shake my head. “Pissed, dumbass. I’m fucking pissed you left. I know you had your reasons, but I’m fucking mad. That’s not going to resolve it
self overnight, no matter how valid your reasons. I’m pissed, hurt.”
Jax opens his mouth to speak but I interrupt him. “Save it, Jax. I’ve read way to many fucking romance novels where everything is resolved with one conversation, but that’s bullshit. Also, it’s a matter of feelings and not rationality, so you’re not gonna be able to talk your way out of it tonight. I’m mad at you. This isn’t going away. However, if you stick around for a little, I think we can work it out.”
Jax directs his coffee eyes on me. His eyes are watery and deep, and instantly I’m so fucking touched.
My heart feels like a great big marshmallow, and I can barely breathe with all the damn warm fuzzies swirling around my tummy. I want to climb through the glory hole and throw myself in his arms. “One day at a time.”
“One day at a time,” I echo, staring into his chocolate eyes. Oh Jesus. I’m definitely feeling the L-word. I’ll never tell Jax, but I’ve been in L-word with him for a very long time.
There’s only one thing left to do. “Soo. If you want to get on my good side, you’ve gotta work a little harder than that.”
Jax nods. “Totally agree. Let’s go to Hazel's, and I’ll buy those brushes you’ve been eyeing. It’s the perfect way to make up for lost time.”
“Not the brushes, dumbass.”
“Oh, okay. Well, pop your dick back through. I’ll give you another blowjob.” Jax smiles. “I’d love to suck you off again.”
Oh God. He’s so adorable. “Not a blowjob either.”
Jax bites his lip. “Do you want to give me a blowjob?”
He’s seriously not getting this. “I don’t want to give you a blowjob,” I shout. “Think back to Tilly’s. What did you give me that night?”
He furrows his brow. “A vodka-cranberry?”
“Not a cocktail.”
“A slow dance?” Jax asks.
“No.”
Jax’s jaw drops as realization dawns on him. “Oh God. You want me to kiss you.”
“Now you’re gettin’ it,” I whisper through the glory hole.
Jax snorts. “I’m not kissing you through a glory hole. That’s gross. And probably unsanitary.”