Running Scared

by Shirlee McCoy

  SEVEN

  She had to leave.

  Sticking close to friends and people who cared had seemed like a good idea when she’d just woken up from a deep sleep, had heard Kane’s calm voice in her ear and had allowed herself to think everything was going to be all right. After being awake for an hour, Maggie was thinking more clearly, and what she was thinking was that sticking around Deer Park was going to get her killed.

  She tossed several sweaters into her suitcase, dropped jeans on top of the pile and hurried to the closet. There wasn’t much she was worried about keeping. Not much that meant enough to bring to whatever new town she landed in. The box was one thing, though, that she wouldn’t leave behind. She grabbed it from the top shelf of the closet, upending a pile of blankets and sheets that lay on top of it.

  Her shoulder throbbed as she scooped them up, threw them into a pile on the bed and carefully set the box down. She was tempted to open it, to look at the few photos she had of her grandmother and mother, to stare into their lined faces, look into their blank eyes. See what she might have become if she hadn’t watched her mother die and made the decision to turn her life around.

  She’d made a lot of poor choices in her life. That was true. But there was another truth. God had used Maggie’s poor decisions, used the dark times in her life, to bring her close to Him. Derrick was a prime example of that. When Maggie had fled Miami to escape him, desperation had done what years of hard partying could not. It had forced her to reassess her life, to take a look at where she’d been heading and to realize that was not where she really wanted to go. She’d put her troubles and worries in God’s hands, and He’d led her to Deer Park. Now He was leading her somewhere new.

  And she wanted to accept that. To trust in it.

  But she couldn’t, because when she thought of leaving all she felt was emptiness.

  The phone rang as she shoved T-shirts into the suitcase, but she ignored it. The last thing she wanted was another conversation with Kane, another heart-jerking discussion with Eli. She’d heard the anxiety in Eli’s voice, the worry in his father’s when she’d spoken to them. The period of adjustment wasn’t easy on either, and she’d found herself wanting to make promises to Eli, wanting to assure him that she would be at school when he returned, that she’d be there to help with his math, to talk to him during recess, to offer the stability and familiarity he craved.

  She sighed as she grabbed her Bible from the nightstand and set it and the box on top of the T-shirts in her suitcase. She zipped the bulging bag and dragged it into the living room, telling herself that she was not abandoning Eli. He had a father, grandparents, people who loved him. He didn’t need her, and she didn’t need to feel guilty about leaving him.

  So why did she?

  Because when she looked into his eyes, she saw herself at the same age. A little shy, a little scared, a little unsure, desperately wanting an adult to point her in the right direction and help her make the kind of decisions that wouldn’t lead her into the life her mother and grandmother had led.

  “But Eli has that. He just doesn’t know it yet. So stop feeling guilty, find someone to give you a ride out to your car, and get out of town while you still can,” Maggie muttered as she hurried to the kitchen, opened the freezer, reached into the ice cube bin and pulled out two plastic-wrapped wads of cash. She’d learned the trick from Derrick, one of the few things she’d actually found useful.

  A sharp knock sounded at the door of her attic apartment as Maggie shoved the money into her purse, and she froze, her heart beating at a sickening pace as she imagined Derrick standing outside the door, waiting for her to open it.

  “It’s not Derrick. He’s too smart to barge into Edith’s house when she’s got a bunch of guests for Thanksgiving,” she mumbled, trying to convince herself that it was true.

  The knock sounded again, and Maggie jumped.

  It was Edith. Or Kane and Eli, though she doubted they were her visitors.

  She hesitated, her hand on the doorknob, her pulse still racing. “Who’s there?”

  “Kane and Eli. We brought you a Thanksgiving feast.”

  Her heart jumped in response, her stomach twisting in knots that were half anticipation and half anxiety.

  Tell them to go away. Tell them you’re not up to visitors.

  She should.

  Maggie knew it, but she had told Eli she was hungry. Had told him that a turkey dinner sounded great. She’d very nearly invited him to bring one over, telling him that it was up to Kane whether or not they delivered Thanksgiving dinner to her house.

  What had she been thinking?

  Certainly not that Kane would agree to leave his parents and sister to bring the meal.

  Or had she?

  Kane had made it clear that he owed her a debt of gratitude. He’d gone as far as to call Maggie family.

  Why wouldn’t he bring her something to eat?

  Which brought her right back to where she’d begun—what had she been thinking?

  “Maggie?” There was a note of concern in Kane’s voice, and she wondered if he’d go away if she kept silent long enough.

  More likely, he’d break the door down to make sure she wasn’t passed out on the floor.

  “Just a second.” She glanced at the suitcase and decided she didn’t have time to drag it back into the bedroom. Not that it mattered. Kane knew she might be leaving Deer Park, and she hoped he wouldn’t try to talk her out of it.

  She unbolted and unlocked the door and pulled it open.

  “Hi. Come on in. Sorry about the mess. I wasn’t expecting company.”

  “If this is a mess, then I’d like to see your version of neat,” Kane responded as he and Eli stepped into the apartment. He scanned the room, his gaze touching the couch and the pillow and blankets that lay there, the suitcase sitting near the hall, Maggie’s purse on the rickety table and the plastic bags peeking out of it.

  Could he see what was in them?

  Just the thought made Maggie’s cheeks heat, and she scooped up the blankets and pillow and tossed them on top of the purse. Then she gestured to the couch. “Go ahead and have a seat.”

  Kane raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment.

  “Here, Ms. Tennyson. This is for you.” Eli held out a large plastic container. “My aunt had all her medicine in it, but we washed it out real good before we put the food inside.”

  “Oh, well, thank you. Is your aunt sick?” Maggie accepted the container.

  “She had cancer, but is in remission now,” Kane responded, his dark-green eyes staring into Maggie’s, asking questions she had no intention of answering. “The medicine is mostly vitamin supplements and herbals that she takes. All boxed and bottled, so don’t worry that the food was contaminated with it.”

  She looked away, walking to the kitchen. “I’m sorry she was so sick, but glad to hear she’s in remission. I’ll just put the food into another container and wash this out so you can take it back to her.”

  “Let me.” Kane followed her into the kitchen and slipped the container out of her hand. “Where are your plates?”

  “Right over the sink, but I can take care of it myself.”

  “Sure you can, but I’m here, and I don’t mind helping.” He smiled as he pulled a dinner plate from the cupboard, and Maggie’s pulse kicked up a notch.

  “Kane, I really…”

  “What?” He looked up from the plate he was covering with plastic wrap.

  There was no sense telling him she didn’t want the help. In a few minutes, he and Eli would be gone, and she’d be on her way to a new life that didn’t include either of them. “Never mind.”

  “I saw the suitcase in the hall. I guess you changed your mind about staying.”

  “Are you going somewhere, Ms. Tennyson?” Eli hovered just a few feet away, watching her with the same wary look he’d had his first day of school. Poor kid. Caught between two lives, two worlds, and trying to figure out where he really fit in.

  That
was something Maggie understood, something that resonated with her. Her old life and her new life could not coexist. To survive, she’d have to give them both up. She prayed that wouldn’t be true of Eli.

  She put a hand on his cheek, forcing a smile she didn’t feel. “I’m going on a road trip while I recuperate from my injury.”

  “Will you be gone long?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You’re not coming back, are you?”

  She didn’t want to lie, but she didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth. “A road trip is just that…a trip. Now, come sit down on the couch and tell me all about your Thanksgiving. Did you eat a lot?”

  Eli didn’t look convinced, but he followed her into the living room and perched on the edge of the couch. “No. I wasn’t very hungry.”

  “Not hungry on Thanksgiving? How can that be?”

  “The food wasn’t the same.”

  “No?”

  “We usually don’t have turkey. We eat chicken. Mom doesn’t like turkey.” He must have realized what he’d said seconds after the words came out. He blushed, his cheeks going bright pink, his gaze darting to Kane, who seemed to be completely focused on the plastic container he was washing in the sink.

  He wasn’t oblivious to the conversation, though. His movements were short and tight as he ran the soapy bowl under water again and again.

  Poor guy.

  It couldn’t be easy for him to hear the woman who’d kidnapped his son referred to as Mom.

  “Do you like turkey?” she asked Eli, hoping to move the conversation to more neutral territory.

  “No.”

  “Then maybe next year your dad can make turkey and chicken.”

  “I guess.” Eli’s response wasn’t enthusiastic, and Maggie scrambled for something else to say. Something that wouldn’t touch on the fact that Eli’s life had been turned upside down.

  “Are you going back to school Monday?”

  “Dad said maybe, but I don’t know if I want to.”

  “Why not?”

  “You’re not going to be there.”

  “Eli…” But there was nothing she could say that would make him feel better, nothing she could do that would ease her guilt. “You’ll be fine there without me.”

  “I guess,” he responded, glancing at his father again. “Are you having a good break, Ms. Tennyson? Besides what happened last night, I mean.”

  “I am now. Thanksgiving turkey and good friends are always a great way to spend the holiday.” She offered a smile and was pleased when Eli returned it.

  She reached out and pulled him into a hug. It wasn’t something she would normally have done, but normally she wasn’t leaving for good. Normally she wasn’t saying goodbye forever.

  She backed off almost immediately and saw that Kane was watching. “Sorry about that. Eli is just such a sweet kid.”

  “No need to apologize. I’m sure Eli appreciated the hug, didn’t you, buddy?”

  Eli nodded but didn’t speak again. Just stood and moved a few steps closer to the door.

  “I guess it’s time to get out of your hair,” Kane said, his gaze on his son, a frown furrowing his brow.

  “I appreciate you coming by and bringing me something to eat.”

  “It was no problem. Although you may have some explaining to do with your landlady. When she let us in she said you’d told her you were in too much pain to eat.”

  “I was when she asked if I wanted to join her family celebration.”

  “I see.” He glanced at Maggie’s suitcase. “Do you have a ride out of town?”

  “Not yet. I’m going to call Adam and see if he’ll tow my Ford here. It’s still at my house.” The house that she was going to abandon. The one she prayed would go to a family that would love it as much as she did.

  “Why don’t I give you a ride instead?”

  “It’s better if we say goodbye now,” she responded, glancing at Eli.

  “For who?” Kane’s question speared her heart, and she felt like a coward, running from a little boy who obviously needed her in his life.

  “It’ll be fun to go for a ride before you leave, Ms. Tennyson. Don’t you think?” Eli asked, and she didn’t have the heart to refuse.

  “Of course.”

  “Great. I’ll get your bag. Is there anything else you need to bring?” Kane grabbed the handle of the suitcase.

  “No.” She might have said more, but her throat was clogged with tears she refused to shed.

  “What about the turkey we brought you. Don’t you want it?” Eli asked, and Maggie nodded mutely, hurrying into the kitchen and grabbing the plate of food.

  “Can you carry this down for me?” She handed it to Eli, and he beamed with pride as he accepted the assignment.

  “Sure.”

  “Thanks.” She shrugged into her coat, wincing as her shoulder protested the sudden movement. Then she grabbed her purse and shoved the plastic bags of cash as far into it as she could.

  Kane watched from the doorway, his expression un readable.

  “All set,” she said brightly, stepping out into the hall.

  The sound of people laughing and talking drifted up the stairs. Edith’s family get-together was in full swing, the raucous cheers coming from the living room echoing a sport’s announcer’s frantic play-by-play.

  Maggie had barely stepped down the last stair when Edith peered out of the living room, her shrewd gaze taking in the suitcase, the father and son, and Maggie wearing a coat and ready to run.

  “Maggie, what in the world are you doing?”

  “Kane is going to take me over to the house to get my car.”

  “And you need a suitcase to do that?”

  “I’m going away for a few days.”

  “You didn’t mention that earlier.”

  “I just made the decision.”

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. You’re injured. You should be in bed recovering. Not gallivanting all over creation.”

  “I won’t be gallivanting. I’ll be driving,” Maggie responded.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I know, and I’ll be fine.”

  “You’ll be back on Monday?”

  Maggie hesitated. “I haven’t decided yet, but I’ll call you once I’m sure of my plans.”

  She’d call but only to explain that she wasn’t coming back.

  That thought brought a fresh wave of guilt and regret, and Maggie swallowed the lump in her throat.

  “I still don’t like this. You’ve been here for three years, and you’ve never once gone on an overnight trip.”

  “There’s a first time for everything, I guess.” Maggie sidled past Kane and stepped out onto the porch. The air was cold and crisp, the sky overcast. Rain hung in the air, and Maggie breathed in the moisture and tried to memorize the feel of fall in eastern Washington. The thick clouds and tall pines, the scent of earth and evergreen.

  “You be careful, you hear?” Edith said, following Maggie onto the porch.

  “I will.” She wanted to hug Edith and tell her how much she’d miss her, but she didn’t dare. Now wasn’t the time for explanations. Those would come after Maggie had put some distance between herself and town. “You’d better get back inside before your guests come looking.”

  “You’re right about that. Family is more demanding than any friends I’ve ever had. See you in a couple of days.” Edith hurried back inside.

  “Ready?” Kane asked as he carried the suitcase outside, and Maggie nodded, following him to the SUV.

  Eli climbed into the vehicle, and Kane shoved the suitcase into the back.

  And it was time to leave. Time to say goodbye to the dream she’d been building for three years. Time to say goodbye to the little boy who’d touched her heart and the man who might have found a place in it if she’d given him a chance.

  Maggie rounded the SUV as Kane opened the door for her.

  He met her eyes and looked like he was about to say som
ething. Then his gaze shifted, settling on a point beyond Maggie’s shoulder. His expression changed, his eyes hardening as he lunged toward her and shoved her sideways.

  And the world exploded.

  She screamed, Kane’s forward momentum carrying them both to the ground. Bits of pavement flew into her face and nicked her skin as she fell, and Maggie screamed again.

  “Shhhhh. I want to hear him if he’s coming.” Kane pressed her down, keeping her from doing what she wanted. Jumping up, running.

  “Dad!” Eli called out, and Kane tensed.

  “Stay down, Eli!” he shouted, and Maggie could feel the frantic thud of his heart, hear the hard, quick rasp of his breath.

  “Stay here.” This time he was talking to her, his lips brushing her ear as he spoke. He levered up and eased to the corner of the SUV. Maggie started to move with him, but he shot her a look that froze her in her tracks.

  “Stay there!” he hissed, and Maggie could hear the fear in his voice, the anger.

  “Kane—”

  But he’d slipped around the side of the SUV and disappeared from view.

  And Maggie was left alone, lying on the ground, her ears ringing in the sudden silence.

  She eased up, glancing into the window of the SUV. Eli had dropped down onto the floor, waiting there just as his father had told him to. Maggie needed to put some distance between them, make sure that if more bullets flew they wouldn’t explode through the car and hit Eli.

  She scrambled away, running across the street, hoping to lead her attacker away from Eli, away from Edith’s house.

  Please, God, please don’t let Eli or Kane or Edith be hurt because of me.

  A shot rang out, and Maggie dove for cover, rolling behind a pine tree. Someone shouted, the sound carrying through the cold, moist air. Another voice joined the first, this time calling to her.

  “Maggie! Get Eli. Take him into the house.” Kane panted the words, and Maggie whirled around, searching for him, finding him a few feet from Edith’s house, crouched over a man half-hidden by thick shrubs.

  Did he have black hair? Black eyes? The slim, muscular build that Maggie had once found so attractive?