Defend

by Lindsay Paige

  We talk and hang out for a while longer before departing. I plop onto my bed back in my dorm room and decide to do some homework. My mother stopped calling a few hours ago, but I wonder if I’ll regret not attending Michelle’s party. Sure, I’ll hear about my absence for a few weeks as she fusses at me and expresses her extreme disappointment with how I couldn’t do this one little thing for our family. That’s how she always phrases it. Everything I fail to do is just “one little thing for our family.”

  They make a big freaking deal out of ‘one little things’.

  It takes hours upon dreadful hours to do my work. Mostly because I welcome every distraction, frequently bang my head against the wall, and procrastinate as if it’s my middle name. Around nine, my mother calls. Like the smart person I am, I don’t answer. She leaves a voicemail, though. When she doesn’t immediately call again, I decide to check it.

  “You can’t do one little thing for our family, can you?” See? “I told you it was important for you to be here, Jamie. You missed out on the proposal and the family pictures with your sister as an engaged woman.” She rambles on and on for another minute or so, ending with, “Why must you do this to our family? Please stop thinking about yourself and stop disappointing us.”

  Gotta love my mom.

  A loud banging coming from my front door wakes me up. Sunday mornings are sacred. It’s the one morning I will sleep in and be lazy for an hour. That’s not happening this morning, obviously. As I walk down the stairs, I hear, “Brent! Come on! Open up!”

  I hurry at the sound of Jamie’s voice. What is she doing here so early in the morning? I unlock the door and yank it open, and the knocking stops immediately. Jamie is dressed in her running gear, a coffee cup in her hand.

  “Jamie, what are you doing here?”

  “I need to run, but I want to do it your way. Let’s go.” She shoves her coffee cup at me and begins jogging in place.

  “It’s Sunday morning.”

  She shrugs. “Are you coming with me or not?”

  I step aside for her to come inside. She hesitates, but comes in and takes her cup back. “Sit down.” I point to the couch. Jamie frowns immediately. “It’s Sunday, Jamie. I don’t run on Sundays.”

  “I bet you work on Sundays.”

  “That’s different. Work isn’t work for me. Sit.”

  “I need to run, Brent,” she complains as she walks around to sit on the couch. I take a seat next to her. “If I knew you didn’t run on Sundays, I wouldn’t have be so rude and woke you up. I could’ve stayed on campus.”

  “You need to talk. You did rudely wake me up.” I grab her ankles, place them in my lap, and remove her shoes, letting them fall to the floor. “So, you can try my method. If it doesn’t work, we’ll go running.”

  She thinks about it for a second. “Promise?”

  “Wouldn’t lie to you, hon. What happened?”

  “What makes you think something happened?”

  “You need to run when your emotions are all over the place. Did you answer one of your mom’s calls?”

  “No. She left a voicemail last night, then my dad, and then my sister.” Jamie sighs. “Apparently, my sister got engaged last night. Mother must’ve known about it beforehand, and that’s why she wanted me to be there. Can we run now?” She looks so hopeful, yet I’m about to destroy that hope.

  “No. I’m assuming the voicemails weren’t nice?”

  Jamie looks down at her lap and drags her finger around the lip of her cup, around and around. “Just the usual. Can’t decide if I should feel guilty or not.”

  “What would’ve happened had you gone to the party?” I ask.

  She doesn’t answer right away, but I think the dip of her lips says plenty to start. I grab a blanket from the back of the couch and cover us up since there’s a bit of a chill in the room. She can take her time; I can wait.

  “If I tell you, I’d have to tell you more about my family and myself and I don’t know if I want to do that yet,” she finally admits, looking at me.

  “Why?” What is she worried about in particular?

  “It’s all...” she pauses for a moment as if considering the word she wants to use, and settles on, “unpleasant. Do we really want to put a damper on us already?”

  I raise an eyebrow at her. “I’m eighteen years older than you with a daughter slightly younger than you and you woke me up before six on a Sunday morning. We have plenty we could worry about already. Just hit me with it.”

  “I don’t like talking, Brent.” Her voice is quiet, but I’m more determined than ever.

  “How do you expect any relationship in life to work and last if you don’t talk?”

  She sighs, but I spot a faint smile as her head falls back against the couch. “I just had to find the one old geezer who was mature and smart, didn’t I?”

  I laugh. “Old geezer?” I’m far from being the age where anyone should be calling me an old geezer.

  Jamie grins now. “Yep.” The smile disappears. “Things took a turn for the worse when my family won millions playing the lottery. We went from being a middle-class family to millionaires. They were mostly smart about it. Invested, didn’t spend too extravagantly, and kept working. They started giving my sister and me money every month and calling it an allowance.

  “The way they dressed slowly started to change. How they acted was different than before. It was like we suddenly became high-class citizens with super high standards and anything less was unacceptable. Michelle embraced it.”

  “And you didn’t,” I supply.

  Jamie nods. “And then, I started college.” The conversation comes to a halt. Jamie lifts her head and looks at me. “Are you sure you want to hear this? I mean, it’s so early in the morning. We could take a nap and then reevaluate after.”

  “Talk.”

  “Bossy,” she mutters. She takes a deep breath and I reach for her hand to hold it in mine. “I mentioned the freshman fifty, right?” I nod. “I didn’t want to go to college. I didn’t want school to stress me out for four more years. I wanted to go to community college, get some degree there, and work. My parents freaked the hell out so much when I told them that...” She shakes her head. “It was just easier to appease them.

  “But in doing so, I got even more stressed between college and them still on my back from two hours away. I didn’t know how to cope except to eat my feelings away, which is mainly how I gained all the weight. When I went home for Christmas, my family decided to confront me about it.”

  This doesn’t sound good at all. Jamie glances away with a faraway look in her eyes.

  “At that weight, I was an embarrassment to the family, looked horrible, and enough was enough. They drilled into me for a week, saying all sorts of terrible things to me. Even threatened to take away my allowance if I didn’t lose the weight.” She shrugs. “I started running to lose the weight, but mostly to make them leave me alone.”

  “Your family is full of jackasses.” I can’t help it. I even feel bad for nearly all the times I’ve called Logan one because he doesn’t deserve it as much as it sounds like her family does.

  Jamie smiles. “Money does funny things to people. They weren’t always like this. Mother doesn’t even like that I work part-time because I don’t need to and the job is supposedly beneath me now. So, if I had gone to that party, I would’ve heard about that. She would’ve asked who I was dating and why I’m not in a serious relationship yet. There would be mention of their disappointment that my grades aren’t better. There would be lots of why can’t you be like your sister because she does everything they want her to do. There would definitely be lots of me stuffing my face and them giving me disapproving looks.”

  Well, one thing is certain. “You shouldn’t feel guilty about not going.”

  “Even though my sister got engaged?”

  I nod. “If it would’ve been worse for you more than it would’ve been better for her, then yeah. Don’t feel guilty, hon. You made the right
decision not to go.” I stretch my legs out and wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to me. “Now, let’s take that nap you talked about. Sundays are for sleeping in.” I rest my head on the back of the couch and close my eyes as she rests her head against my shoulder, pulling the blanket up to her neck.

  “Thanks, Brent,” she whispers. “Not as good as running, but close.”

  I doze off with a smile on my face.

  Some time later, I hear, “Uh, Dad?” as my knee is tapped. My eyes open in a hot second to see Gregory standing with uncertainty next to my feet, his arms folded over his chest, and his eyes on Jamie. Damn it! I completely forgot he was coming over today for us to work in the shop. With Jamie disrupting my morning, she was pretty much the only thing I thought about. That and getting a little more shut-eye.

  “Son, will you wait for me in the kitchen?”

  He walks away without so much as a nod. Well, there went my plan of keeping this a secret from my kids for a while. Although, maybe Gregory wouldn’t be opposed to not telling Kayla just yet. But first, I need to wake Jamie up.

  I shake her shoulder. “Jamie, honey, wake up.”

  She groans. “I don’t want to.”

  “My son’s here.”

  She sits up with wide eyes. “What? Oh god. I’m sorry. I should go.”

  I grab her arm before she can stand. “Why are you sorry? There’s no need.”

  “I wasn’t supposed to be here today; I came over unannounced. This is my fault. You didn’t want them to know yet. What if he’s mad at you?”

  My hands cup her face and I pull her to me until our foreheads touch. “Relax. I can handle it. Let me find some shoes and I’ll walk you out.”

  Jamie shakes her head as she slips her shoes on. “No, it’s more important that you don’t leave him waiting.”

  She might be right, but I can’t not walk her to her car either. I stand and pull her with me, tossing the blanket into the recliner. “Come on.” There’s a path from the front door to the driveway. I can go barefoot, so no need to waste time with shoes. My feet just might suffer from the coldness of the concrete.

  “How did you know he was here?” she asks.

  “He woke me up.”

  “So he saw us.” She winces. “Could’ve been worse, I guess. I really am sorry, Brent.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Jamie. I’ll talk to him. See if he can keep it to himself for a little while longer. I’ll let you know what happens. You go get your morning coffee and relax.” I open her car door for her, thankful Gregory didn’t block her in and instead parked next to my truck.

  “I’ll relax up until I go into work. Hope everything goes well.”

  I lean in to kiss her, but keep it short in case Gregory decides to peek through the curtains. Once she’s safe in her car, I head back into the house. Gregory doesn’t appear to have spied. He’s sitting at the table, eating from a bowl of cereal.

  “Not going to introduce me?” he drawls.

  “It’s not that serious yet.” I fix myself a bowl of cereal and sit down next to him.

  “Is she the same one you went on a date with Friday night?” I must look surprised because he says, “Kayla called and told me you were on a date. She thought I might know about it already and know who it was.”

  “Yeah, it was with her. Her name is Jamie.”

  “She’s hot.”

  I laugh. “I noticed.”

  “Dad, seriously?” He sets his spoon down and folds his arms over his chest. “You’re not even going to acknowledge, like, the obvious? She looks like she’s in college.”

  “She is,” I confirm. “She turns twenty-two in July.”

  Gregory stares at me for a moment before laughing. “Mom and Kayla are going to flip. You know that, right?”

  “More concerned about you at the moment. How do you feel about it?”

  He shrugs. “It’s kinda weird.” He eats two spoonfuls of cereal before adding, “But she gets bonus points for being worried for you.”

  “You heard her?”

  “She wasn’t exactly quiet, Dad. Plus, I was eavesdropping.” He flashes me a quick smile. “You don’t want me to tell anyone, do you?”

  “No, I don’t. Not until I’m ready for you both to meet her. But if you don’t want to keep the secret from your sister, then that’s fine, too.”

  Gregory snorts. “I’m not about to break the news to Kayla for her to blow up at me first. Your secret is safe with me, Dad.”

  It’s good that Gregory seems to be taking this well, but my concern has heightened as far as his sister is concerned.

  Jamie shows up the next morning at six exactly, invited this time. I take her coffee cup to set it down on the nearby end table for her, but hesitate. I got on a roll with a special project at the shop last night and didn’t get home until thirty minutes ago because I eventually realized how late it was and just caught a few hours on the couch there.

  “Mind if I have a sip? I could use a pick-me-up this morning.” I lift the drink to my nose to see if it smells like pure coffee or some sugary mess.

  “No!” Jamie reaches out with horror all over her face just as I get a whiff of chocolate.

  I take a sip and sure enough, it’s hot chocolate. I laugh while she narrows her eyes at me. “I thought you were drinking coffee! It’s been hot chocolate the entire time?”

  Jamie snatches her cup from me. “I don’t like coffee, but hot chocolate doesn’t always seem very adult-like, so I let everyone make their assumptions.”

  “Why are you drinking hot chocolate so early anyway?”

  “How else am I supposed to have energy this early in the morning? And it’s delicious. Don’t judge me over my hot chocolate, Brent. We’ll have serious problems.” She levels a glare at me, daring me to pick on her some more.

  “All right then.” I take her cup and set it down on the table. “Let’s go.”

  About five minutes into our run, Jamie decides to make this run different. “So, what happened with your ex-wife?”

  I glance over at her. “What is it with you and talks at six in the morning?”

  “You started it by making me talk in the first place,” she reminds me. She does have a point there.

  “We got married when we found out she was pregnant with Kayla. We were fresh out of high school, but our parents encouraged us. Seemed like a good idea, and I did love her.” I fall silent, thinking back to when we truly liked each other and could talk without an argument inevitably forming at some point. I don’t think I ever craved time with Shannon. That given the chance, I wouldn’t have fought for our marriage. That sounds terrible.

  “But?” Jamie asks.

  “I don’t want to say we never should’ve gotten married because Gregory probably wouldn’t be here if we hadn’t, but our marriage never should’ve lasted as long as it did. The love and commitment needed for marriage, I don’t think it was ever there for us. And now, Shannon hates me more than she ever liked me because she wasted so much time with me. There’s a lot of resentment from her.”

  “You sound like you understand how she feels,” Jamie says, sounding confused.

  “I do. I could just as easily feel the same way toward her.”

  “But you don’t.”

  “No,” I confirm. “I don’t know if I would have the life I do if it wasn’t for Shannon, my marriage to her, and my kids. Yeah, we should’ve ended our relationship way before we did because we weren’t exactly happy and I definitely wasn’t a great husband for her, but she was a good wife and a good mother to my kids. Couldn’t ask for more than that.” Well, I could’ve asked for her honesty sooner, but what’s done is done and it seems to have affected Shannon more than me anyway. She’s not the only one at fault either.

  “Would you ever remarry?”

  “I’d have to be confident I would be willing to put in the work for myself and the woman in the relationship with me. Otherwise, no. Might as well learn from my mistakes, right?”

>   “Most definitely.”

  We run in silence until we return to my house, just in time for it to start raining. On today’s breakfast menu is a couple of egg sandwiches. As the first egg fries in the pan, I glance over my shoulder at Jamie, who sits at my table.

  “What’s your schedule like this week?” I ask.

  “I work every day but Wednesday and Saturday. Why?”

  “I’m trying to figure out when I can take you out again.” I carry a fresh egg sandwich over to her before returning to start on mine.

  “What are we going to do?” she asks.

  That is the big question, isn’t it? It’s almost weird to consistently make free time away from work, but I’m enjoying it so far. What could we do? An idea does come, but it’s almost more for me than it would be for her unless she happens to enjoy it too. Only one way to find out.

  “Do you like hockey?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t ever watched. Were you thinking about us going to a game?”

  “Only if you’re interested. I watch the Rebels on TV sometimes, but haven’t ever been to a game.”

  “Then let’s go.”

  With my sandwich now fully prepared, I walk over to the table and sit. “You don’t even know if you’ll like it.”

  “How am I supposed to find out if I don’t watch a game? You might as well see a game in person while we’re at it.”

  “I don’t know. I’d hate to drag you and it turns out the game bores you.” That would make for a terrible date.

  Jamie balls up her paper towel, her sandwich gone, and levels me with a stare. “Either you buy the tickets, or I will, Brent.”

  That settles that then. Looks like I’ll have to check out the Rebels schedule for the week. She pops out of her seat and leans down to kiss me.

  “I don’t mean to rush, but I can’t remember if I finished an assignment. The only way to pass a class is to at least attempt the work.” She shrugs. “I’ll talk to you later.” I get up to walk her out, leaving my sandwich behind and taking her hand as I do. “You don’t have to do this every time, you know? You could’ve finished eating.”