Now that I was getting into it, the words were coming to me easily. “Neither of us is in a relationship with anyone else and we’re certainly not related, which means our ‘affair’ cannot, by definition, be classified as illicit.”
I made air quotes around the word and pretended not to notice the professor appeared to want to intervene. I was on a roll, and they’d done all the talking up until this point. It was my turn now.
“Moreover, I’m a top student here and I have been since I started my academic career. I was legitimately selected for the internship, as you know, and it was taken away from me without so much as a thought to due process. Contracts had been signed and terms agreed to, yet none of those mattered.”
He extended his index finger and tapped his lips, but he let me continue to speak. “The school didn’t provide me with any opportunity whatsoever for me to explain my side of the story before jumping to the conclusion that I was Jude’s mistress and that our personal relationship was somehow illicit.”
“The tabloids said—”
“The tabloids were not parties to any of the contracts that had been signed, nor have they known me and worked with me for the last seven years. I should’ve been given more control of this situation than I was. At the very least, I should have been allowed an attempt to clear my name before having something I’d worked toward for years and that could very much impact my future yanked away without so much as a second thought.”
The professor scratched his chin, his shoulders relaxing just a little for the first time since I’d entered the room. “You’re quite correct, Ms. Joyce. We should’ve asked for an explanation before terminating the internship, but we were led to believe that Mr. Hudson was married and currently embroiled in divorce proceedings.”
I was so surprised that his agreement knocked the fight right out of me. “He was recently involved in court proceedings involving custody of his child. He was never married to the mother.”
“Well, it certainly would have cleared a few things up for us if we’d known that,” he said. “But I’m afraid the point remains that you had to have known it would reflect poorly on the university if news of your relationship spread.”
“Which was why neither of us spread it,” I said. “Our privacy was invaded by the journalists who published that story. You might have noticed there are no pictures of us caught in any compromising positions, nor is there any corroborated information in those articles at all. In fact, you didn’t even ask me if I really was involved with him before canceling the internship.”
He pursed his lips. “That is true.”
“I knew Oxford wouldn’t look too highly upon my entering into a relationship with Jude, but I fell in love with him,” I repeated, partly because I couldn’t seem to stop saying it and partly because I needed him to see our relationship wasn’t what the press had made it out to be. “Surely, falling in love and conducting one’s private matters in private cannot be said to bring the university into disrepute.”
The professor leaned forward, studying me intently. “You’ve made some very fair points here today, Ms. Joyce. I believe your generation would call it ‘owning the room.’”
The slightest smile spread on his lips. “If there are indeed no policies at Hudson Technologies prohibiting workplace relationships, if Mr. Hudson is not married, and in the absence of any flagrantly embarrassing material having emerged of you, I’m afraid we might have jumped the gun on this one.”
“So what now?” I asked, not quite sure if I could believe he would just agree with me. “The internship is ruined and I’m already back here, so it’s not like I can just go back to work.”
He observed me for a long minute, his hands steepled in front of him. “I apologize that your internship was ruined, but I trust you’ve gained some valuable knowledge from the time you had?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then I propose we move forward. I will personally arrange for another businessperson to take you under their wing for the remainder of the semester. You will graduate at the end of it and move on with your PhD.”
I was still crushed about having to leave Jude, but I wasn’t facing any disciplinary action any longer and my graduation was on track. Causing a big stink about how unfairly I’d been treated would achieve nothing other than to make me look like a spoiled brat.
Besides, the sooner I agreed, the sooner I could put it behind me and move on. For the first time since arriving at Oxford, I was ready and even itching to leave it. But not without that piece of paper I’d busted my ass for.
“You’re right, Professor.” I wouldn’t fumble the ball now that I was so close to the end. Even if it meant I had to leave the man I loved in Sydney for now. “I think that is the best way to handle it.”
The next three months might not be what I had planned, but the end result would be the same. And after that? Well, I still had to figure that out. But I’d get there. With Jude by my side hopefully.
Chapter 38
JUDE
My office didn’t feel the same without Rose in it. Actually, nothing felt the same without her in it.
I sat behind my desk and stared out at the iconic view I used to be so damn proud of, hardly even noticing it. Another day had gone past in a blur of meetings and missing Rose, and the sun was dropping low.
Sliding my thumb across the screen of my phone to unlock the device, I stared at the message she’d sent me again.
Oxford: Guess what? They’re letting me finish the program. Prof even apologized. Told you I’d handle it ;-) No harm done!! Yay! Miss you.
I shook my head. No harm done?
I sure felt like I’d been fucking harmed. I’d never missed anyone like this before and she hadn’t even been gone a week. It had been three days, for God’s sake, but it felt like I hadn’t seen her for a year.
Heartbreak, it turned out, didn’t start getting better the day after it happened. Or the day after that. Or so far, the day after that. I didn’t know yet how long it would take before this ache in my chest eased up and my brain stopped obsessing over her every second of every day, but I was beginning to wish I’d never gotten so attached to her.
Losing her would have hurt a whole lot less if she hadn’t come to mean so much to me. My knee bounced, but I felt strangely empty except for all the fucking pain.
There was a knock at my door, but I didn’t turn around. “Leave me alone.”
“Sorry, dude, no can do,” Shane said after I heard the door opening and closing. “How are you doing?”
“Oh, just swell.” I sighed before running my hands through my hair. “How do you feel about getting wasted? There’s a bottle of whiskey in that cabinet against the wall that was given to me as a gift. It should do quite nicely for a start.”
“I don’t know about getting wasted, but I’ve got time for a drink.”
I got up and went to fetch the rounded bottle, along with two glasses. I filled both to the brim. Maybe that’ll dull the ache in my fucking heart.
“So you’ve been an asshole again this week,” he said as he accepted the whiskey. “It wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with Rose leaving?”
“It has everything to do with her leaving,” I confessed, taking a big gulp of my drink and relishing the slight burn on the way down. “Have you found out who leaked it yet and how they knew?”
He swiped his tongue across his lips and sank down in the chair opposite my desk. When he lifted his gaze to mine again, there was a hard glint in it I didn’t see too often.
“Yeah, I did.” Even his voice was harsh. “One of the junk journos spotted you going into the hotel with her one afternoon, paid a porter to tell him how often you went calling.”
My jaw clenched, and my grip tightened on the crystal glass. “What are we doing about it?”
“I’ve reported the hotel employee to their management. They have very strict rules about providing information on their guests to any outsider. I’ve been assured he will be dealt with
swiftly.”
“What about the journo?” The fucker had better hope I never ran into him in a dark alley.
Shane lifted his shoulders with a shake of his head. “You know how it works with them. It’s unlikely there will be any consequences.”
“Have you laid a complaint about his ethics, considering he didn’t contact us for a statement?”
It was a pathetic punishment as far as I was concerned, but often, it was the only avenue available to anyone who had been the subject of something like this.
He took a long sip of his drink, his eyes on mine. “I did, but they probably won’t do anything about it. A reprimand at best.”
“When am I giving my first interview?” I closed my eyes and let the smooth liquid roll around my tongue after taking another sip.
“Day after tomorrow. A popular new Friday afternoon talk show host wants to have you on. She claims to be a hopeless romantic and her track record is clean.”
“Good. It’s about time we take control of this shit show.” My stomach contracted. “If I read any more lies about her, me, or our relationship, I’m going to be sick.”
“Your relationship?” He dropped his chin. “I thought you were just friends?”
My eyes rolled of their own accord. “Don’t tease me, Shane. Not today.”
His expression grew somber. “You look rough, mate. Want to talk to me about it?”
“No.” I tossed the rest of my drink back and refilled it, sighing as I sat back down. “I didn’t think it was possible to miss someone this much. It’s like I can feel her absence scraping at every nerve ending I have all the damn time.”
Shane arched an eyebrow at me. “Are you serious? I mean, I miss her too. It was fun having her around. But are you actually in pain about this?”
“Yeah,” I mumbled. “So much fucking pain.”
His eyes widened before he frowned. “Don’t bite my head off for asking, but were you in love with her or something?”
“Or something,” I said, but I knew it was a lie. I loved the fuck out of her, and I had absolutely no idea what to do about it.
Shane gave me a long look before snorting. “Sure. Yeah. Uh huh.”
“Luke misses her, too,” I said. “It kills me to see him so sad.”
“It kills me to see you so sad.” He followed my earlier example by draining what was left in his glass before refilling it. “I can’t imagine what it must be like for you to know Luke misses her that much and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“She should’ve let me speak to the fucking university. I could’ve sorted all this out without her having to leave.”
He shook his head. “You don’t know that. Besides, if it hurts this much now, can you imagine how much it would have hurt if it had carried on for three more months?”
“No.” I really couldn’t see how it could hurt more. “Why wouldn’t she just let me speak to them?”
“Because it’s her life, her university, and her degree. Roselyn never needed you to be the knight in shining armor.”
“I know.” I also knew it didn’t make sense to be pissed at her, but I kind of was. “I’m a mess, bro. I don’t know what I’m feeling half the time, and the other half, I feel way too much.”
“Having your heart broken will do that to you,” he mused, his lips twitching into a smile. “I have to admit I never thought I’d see you broken up by a girl.”
“Neither did I,” I agreed. “But it’s because I’ve never met a girl like her. She’s just something else.”
“That, she is.” He held his glass up to me and waited for me to clink it. “Here’s to Oxford. May she complete her degree and then come give you your heart back.”
“Yeah, that’d be nice.” I didn’t even bother to try and deny it. “But it’s not only my heart that I want back.”
“What do you mean?” He cocked his head. “Are you actually saying you want her to come back?”
“She fits in with my life, you know?” I said, deciding to lay it all out there on the table. I needed to get it off my chest, and he was one of the few people I trusted in my life. “It’s like she was supposed to be here and she was the one piece missing from my life that I was waiting for. I just didn’t know it until I had her.”
Shane paused, staring down at his whiskey for a beat before bringing his gaze back to mine. “It’s funny how things work out that way sometimes. The question is, what are you going to do about it?”
I looked at him, but I couldn’t answer.
The gracious guy that he was, he rolled his eyes at me and flashed me a smirk. “Are you going to let her go? Are you going to wait for her? What?”
I licked my lips. “I don’t know yet.”
“Well, you better figure it out,” he said.
I dipped my head in acknowledgment and scraped my palm over the stubble growing on my jaw. “I know. It’s just not that easy.”
“It could be.” He knew me well enough to know when to stop pushing, so that was what he did. Concern still darkened his eyes, but he knew there was nothing left to say about my possible future with Rose for now. “Want to run me through the media strategy you’re planning for the damage control?”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “I guess I’d better.”
Shane and I spent the next hour or so going over public-relations scenarios for my personal life and for several projects we were busy with. We didn’t end up getting drunk, but the couple of drinks we had helped dull the pain I was coming to accept might not go anywhere anytime soon.
When I got home, Luke was waiting for me. He jumped up from his stool in the kitchen where he’d been doing homework while my mother cooked, and he launched himself at me.
“Daddy!” He threw his arms around my neck as mine closed around his skinny waist.
I lifted him off his feet and ruffled his hair when I finally set him back down. “Hey, buddy. How was your day?”
“It was fine.” His bright eyes were dimmer than usual when they looked up into mine. “I still miss Rose.”
“So do I.” I rolled my lips into my mouth, releasing them with a pop. “But we’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”
“Are you still sad?” he asked, the corners of his mouth turning down.
I hated that he was so in tune with my feelings. No matter what I did to try to hide my hurt from him, all it took was one look and he knew I wasn’t a hundred-percent okay.
“It’ll all be okay, bud,” I promised. “Just because she’s not here doesn’t mean it’s over.”
It just meant I had to take Shane’s advice and figure it out, but at least that was one step forward from where I’d been just a few hours ago.
Chapter 39
ROSE
“Roselyn Lily Joyce.” My black robe billowed out behind me as I took to the stage when my name was called.
I felt a bit like Batman but somehow even more awesome. The last three months had been slow and arduous, but graduation day was finally here, and I was ecstatic about it.
As I took a knee on the small step in front of the Chancellor one last time, my heart thrummed in my chest, and tears of happiness burned my eyes. The certificate the older man placed in my hands was printed on thick, embossed paper that felt like heaven between my fingers.
Fucking finally. All my hard work had culminated in this one moment, and I couldn’t be prouder. The only damper on the day was that I still missed Jude so much it was like air couldn’t reach my lungs when I thought about him.
“Anna Mary Jones.” My friend’s name got called after mine, and I cheered as loudly as anyone in the crowd.
I waited for her off to the side, then opened my arms to give her a giant hug once she had her degree in hand as well. She squeezed so tight she nearly cut off my air supply, but I returned the favor.
“Thank you for always being there for me,” I whispered into her hair. “I’m so happy that we actually managed to reach this milestone together.”
“I know.” She laughed.
“There were definitely a few days where I wasn’t sure either of us would get this far.”
“Yeah, but look at you now.” I chuckled as I stepped away from her, my hands on her shoulders as I looked into her joyful blue eyes. “You have a job lined up at a fancy up-and-coming media firm in the great city of London and you’re moving into your brand-new place next week. Watch out, world. Anna Jones is coming for you.”
She laughed again, then pulled me close for another hug. “I have to go find my family, but you know you’ll be okay, too, right? You just need to sift through all those offers you’ve gotten and make up your damn mind.”
“I will.” It just hadn’t been as simple as all that. My heart knew what it wanted to do, but it was at war with my brain. “I’ll see you later, okay? Don’t you dare leave campus before we’ve said goodbye.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Someone called her name from a cluster of people standing a few feet away from us. She pulled back from me, and a wide smile spread on her lips. “Aunt June, you made it!” She glanced at me. “I have to go, but I promise we’ll see each other before we leave.”
I nodded, watching as she took off to embrace the waiting members of her family. Having made her promise that we’d get to say goodbye properly later, I rushed off to find my own family.
The courtyard was packed, and strangers congratulated me as I weaved between them. I smiled politely and thanked them, all the while skimming the faces of those around me until I finally located Mom and Dad.
They’d flown in for the ceremony, and I’d never been happier to see them. Mom waved when they spotted me coming toward them. “Darling! Oh, honey. Congratulations.”
She swept me into a hug that made the happy tears from earlier finally leak down my cheeks. Dad enveloped both of us in one of his bear hugs, pressing a kiss to the side of my head.
“I’m so proud of you, Rosie. I always knew you could do it, but I know it hasn’t always been easy.” His voice was tight with unshed tears, wobbling as he hugged us even tighter. The three of us stayed like that for a minute before Dad cleared his throat. “Well, how about we go out for dinner together to celebrate, huh?”
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