Storefront Church

by John Patrick Shanley

  DONALDO: It says community is important to these people, maybe more important than a minimum wage job in a chain store.

  (Tom rips off another piece of the house.)

  TOM: You’re close with the mayor, aren’t you?

  DONALDO: He’s been good to me.

  TOM: Do you want this deal to go through?

  DONALDO: I’m supposed to bring business into the borough. This would be a coup. But this project needs to feel like the Bronx, not just Anywhere, USA. And malls don’t age that well.

  TOM: This isn’t your average mall. The building itself has so much character.

  DONALDO: You’re right. It’s an old building. It has beauty. But should its character be seen as a commercial opportunity or a civic responsibility? Are we putting a fine face on something with no soul? That’s the question I’m being hit with.

  TOM: You mentioned basketball . . .

  DONALDO: What are you talking about? You mentioned basketball.

  TOM: But what about that? What if a certain percentage of the space were earmarked for community-style activities like basketball?

  DONALDO: That would help. How much?

  TOM: Ten percent?

  DONALDO: Fifteen.

  TOM: Fifteen.

  DONALDO: Is basketball code?

  TOM: No, basketball is not code.

  DONALDO: Okay, I’ll bring this to the council. It might convince some people.

  (Tom rips off another piece of the house, offers it to Donaldo.)

  TOM: Does it convince you?

  DONALDO: I don’t have a vote.

  TOM: They’ll listen to you. It’s your borough. (Referring to the gingerbread) Take a piece. I don’t want to be the only bad guy here. Take it.

  (Donaldo takes it and eats.)

  DONALDO: Thanks.

  TOM: Earmarking fifteen percent for community, does it convince you?

  DONALDO: Me? Don’t worry about me. I’m sold.

  TOM: Don’t bullshit me. I’m a salesman. Something’s different. Our last meeting, you were totally enthusiastic. Now I’m seeing this reluctance. What’s that about?

  DONALDO: I’m sorry. You threw me. I came here to meet with a loan officer about something else. I wasn’t prepared to sit down with you.

  TOM: That’s all?

  DONALDO: That’s it.

  TOM: Well, damn. I’m sorry I ambushed you. It was impulsive. I heard you were here. I’m excited about the deal.

  DONALDO: No problem, but that’s why I may seem unsettled. Actually, I’m going to be late for my appointment.

  TOM: Don’t worry about the loan officer. He’s on his way.

  DONALDO: Here? What do you mean?

  TOM: He’s coming up. Reed Van Druyten.

  DONALDO: Do you think that’s wise?

  TOM: It’s fine. Do you know this guy?

  DONALDO: No.

  TOM: I’ve laid eyes on him, that’s about it, but he’s got a real history. He was CFO of a major appliance company, got bought out, made a killing, and then thought he was a high roller. Got a supermodel girlfriend, the whole thing. Only he was married, and when he filed for divorce, his wife—ding-dong, bang—shot him in the face. (Tears off another piece of the house) Have another piece.

  DONALDO: Thanks.

  TOM: Big trial. He was in a coma, woke up, his wife’s in prison, the model’s gone—Russian—the economy crashed, his portfolio’s in ruins. So now he’s a working stiff again, loan officer for First Circle. Some story, huh?

  DONALDO: Yeah.

  (Intercom buzzer. Tom answers.)

  TOM: Yes?

  WOMAN’S VOICE: Mr. Van Druyten.

  TOM: Wait a beat and send him in. (To Donaldo) Try not to stare at his face. There’s a little palsy there.

  DONALDO: I was meeting him on a personal matter, Tom. I don’t want an appearance of impropriety.

  TOM: Come on. You’re not looking to enrich yourself. I looked into it. You’re here for one of your constituents. Let’s see if we can make some rain.

  (Reed enters with an accordion folder.)

  Reed Van Druyten.

  REED: Hello, Mr. Raidenberg.

  TOM: This is Donaldo Calderon, Bronx borough president. Donaldo, this is Reed Van Druyten.

  DONALDO: Nice to meet you, Reed.

  TOM (To Donaldo): Sit, sit. (Hands Reed a piece of gingerbread) Reed, eat this. It’s gingerbread. How’s it going?

  REED: Fine.

  TOM: Thanks for coming up. I don’t get down to the floor enough, I know that. How’s the refi effort going?

  REED: Most people don’t meet the requirements.

  TOM (To Donaldo): We’re reaching out to the community, trying to keep some of these borrowers in their homes, but it’s challenging.

  REED: Aaaaa. There’s an income and net worth window. The guidelines are pretty specific. Too much, we can’t do it. Too little, same thing. Frankly, we’re choking on the volume of foreclosures. Ms. Cortez has authorized me to speak to you about her debt.

  TOM: How’s it look?

  REED: Aaaa. Not too promising. There are two mortgages . . . The borrower’s income meets the low threshold. That’s good. But the bottom line is the place went underwater in the crash, and no matter how we modify the mortgages, I don’t think Ms. Cortez can handle it. It was the second mortgage that really took her down. Thirty thousand dollars for capital improvements on a mixed-use building, but it didn’t result in any income. Aaaa, there IS a guarantor on the second mortgage and we could . . .

  TOM (Interrupting): Thanks, Reed. I wonder what the capital improvements were for? Do you know, Donaldo?

  DONALDO: It’s a church.

  TOM: What?

  DONALDO: It’s a little storefront church.

  TOM: What exactly is a storefront church?

  DONALDO: In these poor neighborhoods it’s not uncommon for somebody to set up a little ministry in a storefront. A dozen chairs, a little piano, put on a service, pass the hat.

  TOM: Does that make money?

  DONALDO: Some do better than others. None of them make much.

  TOM: How’s this one do?

  DONALDO: This one never opened at all.

  TOM: Can we write this off as a small business loan?

  REED: That’s not how she applied for it.

  TOM: It sounds like that’s what it really is.

  DONALDO: She handed him the money for a renovation.

  TOM: Who?

  DONALDO: A preacher.

  TOM: Was the work done?

  DONALDO: Yes.

  TOM: Maybe we can reverse-engineer this into a small business loan that went south and write it off.

  DONALDO: Would that be aboveboard?

  TOM: I don’t know. We won’t do it otherwise. Write it up that way, Reed, run it by legal. Come up with a checklist of what we’ll need from the client. Nancy can help you with this. Nancy can do anything. She’s the pretty black woman you passed on the way in. Shoot me an email and tell me how it looks.

  REED: We do have a guarantor on the loan.

  (Tom interrupts forcefully, even brutally.)

  TOM: Don’t bother with the guarantor. It’s not germane.

  (Reed gets up to go.)

  REED: All right. I met with Ms. Cortez’ husband. Do you know him?

  DONALDO: Yes.

  (Reed pulls out the thick paperback.)

  REED: He got sick in my office and left this.

  (Donaldo takes the book.)

  DONALDO: The Hunchback of Notre-Dame. Great movie. (Imitates Charles Laughton) “Why was I not made of stone, like thee?” (Realizes it looks like he’s imitating Reed’s deformity) I’ll return it to him.

  REED: Thank you. (He heads for the door)

  DONALDO: Wait a minute, aa, Mr. Van Druyten. I almost forgot.

  REED: Yes?

  DONALDO: You’ve been invited to a church service on Sunday.

  REED: Me?

  DONALDO: The pastor of that little storefront church asked after you,
asked if you could attend.

  TOM: So it is going to open.

  DONALDO: At least once, this Sunday, ten o’clock.

  REED: Asked after me?

  DONALDO: Yeah.

  REED: Why?

  DONALDO: I don’t know. The spirit moved him.

  REED: I don’t think so.

  DONALDO: I know it might seem strange.

  TOM: Not that strange. A banker used to be a part of the community, go to services with his customers. Makes sense really.

  REED: No one’s ever . . . I wouldn’t know how to do it.

  TOM: What do you mean? You wouldn’t know how to go to church?

  REED: No.

  TOM: It’s not that hard. You just go. You’re making me laugh now. Tell you what. I’ll go too.

  DONALDO: Look, that’s a bit much. You don’t have to do that.

  TOM: It’ll be good for me. If I’m going to do business in this borough, I should go out and meet some of the people. If you need this project to feel a little more indigenous to sell it, then I should probably help by showing up some places. Won’t do me any harm.

  DONALDO: This reverend is a bit eccentric.

  TOM: Good. I could use a bolt from the blue. You let me come along, Reed?

  REED: I really don’t understand what’s happening.

  TOM: We’re going to church.

  REED: Mmm. Would I have to pray?

  TOM: Just be respectful. Go along with it. Are you telling me you’ve never been to any kind of services?

  REED: Not really, no.

  DONALDO: In your life?

  REED: No.

  DONALDO: Damn. Not a marriage, not a funeral?

  REED: No.

  DONALDO: Sorry, I’m being rude.

  REED: My parents didn’t like religion so we were kept away. I guess it became a habit. Staying away.

  TOM: Well, I don’t want to press you into something.

  DONALDO: Look, I’ll respect whatever you want to do, Reed.

  TOM: But staying away from every house of worship all your life is pretty extreme. I mean it’s a social setting.

  DONALDO: I was raised in a church. So for me it’s kind of wild you’ve never been.

  TOM: It’d be an experience anyway.

  REED: All right. Sure.

  DONALDO: Hallelujah! Just kidding.

  TOM: We’ll get some breakfast afterwards.

  REED: I’m glad my father’s dead.

  DONALDO: What?

  REED: I’m glad my father’s dead. He wouldn’t approve. Nice to meet you. I’ll get on this, Mr. Raidenberg.

  (Reed exits. The men are uneasy.)

  TOM: That was unsettling.

  DONALDO: Probably just came out wrong.

  TOM: Yeah. Let me ask you. Where you headed?

  DONALDO: Back to my office.

  TOM: No, no. Big picture.

  DONALDO: I don’t know.

  TOM: Private sector? Mayor’s office?

  DONALDO: Not finished with the Bronx yet.

  TOM: But you will finish. This is the mayor’s project.

  DONALDO: I know. He’s way high on it.

  TOM: You know why?

  DONALDO: Jobs?

  TOM: The mayor loves business. He’s a businessman. He loves the deal, he loves the deal maker. That’s his earth and the air he breathes. Sometimes we miss the obvious about people. Like goes to like. You a fan of business?

  DONALDO: Sure. Absolutely.

  TOM: Business is about motion. The key is to constantly reconceive what people need. That keeps society dynamic. When you reshuffle a community, everybody benefits.

  DONALDO: Not everybody likes to be reshuffled. What about stability?

  TOM: You’re right. Good point.

  DONALDO: Is it so wrong to stand still a minute, take a pause?

  TOM: But we need growth.

  DONALDO: Always?

  TOM: Ideally.

  DONALDO: Cancer is a growth.

  TOM: What?

  DONALDO: Not that I’m saying that.

  TOM: Look. I’m a pie-eyed optimist. Always have been. My guess, you’re going to help the Bronx and then you’re going to step on to a bigger stage.

  DONALDO: Hey, I just go from haircut to haircut.

  TOM: A man needs a prize, a pot of gold. You could be a senator. But you need a record of achievement.

  DONALDO: Come on. It’s a mall. It’s a big project, lot of money, but it’s not like we’re talking about the Louisiana Purchase.

  TOM: What’s Louisiana got to do with it? Listen. This isn’t about a mall. It isn’t even about three hundred million dollars. It’s about you.

  DONALDO: Me.

  TOM: You deliver this, we know who you are.

  DONALDO: Right. (Gets up) I’d better be going.

  (Tom stands.)

  TOM: Your mother must be something.

  DONALDO: My mother?

  TOM: Her signature is very strong. I was struck by it. I always think men are made or broken by their mothers. Nice to see you. When you go out, don’t tell my secretary.

  DONALDO: What?

  TOM: What do you think? That I ate the house. (He laughs)

  Scene 2

  A city park. Night. A bench. A lit-up Christmas tree. Under the bench is a half-deflated basketball. Donaldo appears in his winter coat. Music. Something like “Another World” by Antony and the Johnsons. Donaldo touches the tree, smells the needles. Sees the basketball, reminiscences. Does an old move from his days on the court. Pulls his back. Sits on the bench with the ball. Then drops it and lets it limp away. The lights fade.

  Scene 3

  The storefront church, dark as it was before. Jessie is playing “I Shall Not Be Moved” on the piano. Chester enters in a winter coat.

  CHESTER: Here’s the day. Start me off singing.

  JESSIE:

  I shall not be

  CHESTER:

  I shall not be moved

  JESSIE:

  I shall not be

  CHESTER:

  I shall not be moved.

  (For Chester, it’s nostalgia.)

  CHESTER AND JESSIE:

  Just like a tree that’s planted by the water

  I shall not be moved.

  (For Jessie, the song is a subdued act of faith. Chester disappears through the curtain, continues to sing from off.)

  JESSIE:

  On my way to glory land

  CHESTER (Off):

  I shall not be moved

  JESSIE:

  On my way to glory land

  CHESTER (Off):

  I shall not be moved.

  (Chester reappears without his coat and holding a water pitcher and glass.)

  CHESTER AND JESSIE:

  Oh like a tree that’s planted by the water

  I shall not be moved.

  CHESTER: Amen. Hello, Sister Jessie.

  JESSIE: Hi, Reverend.

  CHESTER: Want some water?

  JESSIE: No, thank you.

  CHESTER: Bit early.

  JESSIE: I needed to settle myself. So you decided to go ahead.

  CHESTER: I did.

  JESSIE: Glad for you. I know you’ve been suffering.

  CHESTER: I don’t know that’ll change. But it’s good to be in a new day. I invited the bank.

  JESSIE: You what?

  CHESTER: Seemed right.

  JESSIE: You’re gonna have your hands full saving those souls.

  CHESTER: The service is for everybody. Your husband going to come?

  JESSIE: Maybe. Ethan has been sick. Say a prayer for him.

  CHESTER: The good Lord hasn’t let me pray.

  JESSIE: How you gonna hold a service?

  CHESTER: I don’t know.

  JESSIE: I know that you contain spiritual power, Reverend Kimmich. Use it today.

  CHESTER: I don’t feel ready. Here it is, Sunday. I thought it would come to me but it hasn’t.

  JESSIE: It will.

  (Ethan comes in.)

 
ETHAN: Hey there.

  CHESTER: Hi, Mr. Goldklang.

  JESSIE: There’s my man.

  (Ethan is beaming, full of news.)

  ETHAN: Guess what? My doctor died!

  JESSIE: Stedman?

  ETHAN: Dead. Didn’t wake up this morning.

  JESSIE: You upset?

  ETHAN: Do I look upset? He said I’d die, boom, he died. You know what I call that? (Gives a gleeful finger in Stedman’s direction) Justice.

  JESSIE: You should sit down. You don’t look that good.

  ETHAN: I look better than Stedman.

  JESSIE: Maybe we should go to the hospital.

  ETHAN: I’ve been to the hospital and I’m taking the meds. This is a good day. I know what’s coming.

  CHESTER: How you doing?

  ETHAN: Perfect. I’m here. So you’re making a move. Good for you. Am I blind or can we turn on some lights?

  CHESTER: Of course.

  ETHAN: To quote a bestseller: Let there be light.

  (Jessie and Chester turn on some lights.)

  That’s better.

  JESSIE: I should have come down and cleaned.

  ETHAN: What’s a little dust? I’ll wipe the seats. (He wipes with a handkerchief) I’ve never attended a Pentecostal service. How does it go?

  CHESTER: I know how I used to do it, but I don’t know how I do it now.

  ETHAN: I feel that way about masturbation.

  JESSIE: Ethan!

  ETHAN: I know. I’m in church.

  JESSIE: Don’t go mental on me.

  ETHAN: It might be fun.

  CHESTER: Are you a religious man?

  ETHAN: I hate religion.

  JESSIE: You shut up now.

  ETHAN: She believes for both of us. I’m a secular Jew. Nobody knows what that is, but there’s a lot of us.

  (The door opens tentatively. Tom enters.)

  TOM: Is this the Divine Plan For Salvation Church?

  ETHAN: Is it?

  CHESTER: It is.

  ETHAN: It is? It has a name? I didn’t know it had a name.

  TOM: It has a phone number, too. But nobody answers.

  CHESTER: I unplugged it long since.

  TOM: Hi. I’m Tom Raidenberg.

  ETHAN: Ethan Goldklang.

  TOM: Ethan Goldklang. Great name.

  ETHAN: You’ve got to be kidding.

  TOM: Great to meet you.

  ETHAN: And this is my wife, Jessie Cortez.

  JESSIE: Nice to meet you.

  TOM: A pleasure.

  ETHAN: You look like you’re in the wrong neighborhood.