The words reverberated around in her head as he moved his hips against her in a slow, long stroke and she gasped at the sheer pleasure that soared through her. He broke the kiss and cradled her against his chest as his hips moved faster against her, into her.
She was vaguely aware of the crackling fire nearby, but the real fire was inside her, burning a forever impression onto her heart and into her soul as he took her to the heights of pleasure once again.
He tensed and whispered her name as he found his own release and then collapsed, holding the bulk of his weight off her and onto his elbows on either side of her.
He stared down at her, his features relaxed, yet his eyes dark and fathomless. She had no idea what he was thinking. She wasn’t even sure he was thinking.
She only knew that this was a kind of goodbye for her, that she would never compromise herself again with him, no matter how much she loved him, because she loved him.
He finally rolled over to his back beside her. “It was even more amazing than I’d remembered.”
She sat up, feeling too naked, too vulnerable as he gazed at her. “It’s just sex, Trey, and it’s never going to happen between us again.”
She got up and pulled a red-and-yellow-striped blanket from the back of her sofa and wrapped it around herself. He sat up and reached for his briefs, as if he, too, suddenly felt too naked.
“We’ll be great at co-parenting,” she continued.
He finished dressing without saying a word. Had she made him mad? Had he really thought he could maybe convince her to continue a sexual relationship with him?
She’d be an easy sex fix throughout the stresses of a campaign, a quick drive-by physical relief whenever he stopped by to see the baby.
No way, no how, she thought firmly. She’d compromised herself enough tonight. She’d sworn she’d never settle for a piece of a man’s heart instead of the entire thing. She’d determined long ago that when it came to love, for her it was all or nothing.
When he was fully dressed he stepped over to her and pulled her into his arms. She allowed the embrace, even leaned into him, knowing that if nothing else she could always trust him to have her safety and her welfare in his heart.
“I won’t let you down, Debra,” he said, his voice a whisper against her ear. “Anything you need, at any time, I’m just a phone call away. We’re tied for life now through our baby and all I want for you is happiness.” He released her and stepped back.
She followed him to the front door, emotion a tight knot in the center of her chest. “I’ll see you next Sunday at your mother’s place,” she said as he reached the door.
He turned back to face her. “I can’t say that I’m not sorry we aren’t going to be intimate again. I love making love to you, but I have to respect your wishes. Everything is going to work out fine. If nothing else, we’ll parent our child and be good friends.”
“I’d like that,” she replied, but of course it was a lie. At the moment she couldn’t imagine loving Trey the way she did and settling for a friendship. Hopefully, eventually she would be able to do just that.
“Then I’ll see you Sunday morning.”
Her tears began the minute she punched in the code to reset the security after he’d left. Hot and burning, they trekked down her cheeks as her chest grew more and more tight.
She should just go to bed and forget about tonight, forget about Trey Winston. Instead she curled up back on the hearth and wrapped the blanket more firmly around her, chilled despite the warmth of the fire.
She stared into the flickering flames and remembered the gentleness of his kiss on her belly, a kiss she’d believed was meant for the baby growing inside her.
Her child would always have a place in the Winston family. Trey would make sure that his son or daughter was loved and accepted without question.
A sob escaped her, followed by another and another. She curled up on her side on the rug where she could still smell the scent of his cologne and she wept.
She cried because somebody was trying to kill her and she had no idea who or why. Finally she cried because despite what Trey had just said to her, she’d never felt so alone. Everything had changed and she no longer knew where she belonged.
Chapter 14
Trey slept little the night after making love with Debra again. He’d tossed and turned with thoughts rioting in his head, creating a chaos of visions that had made sleep next to impossible.
The week had flown by since then. He’d kept himself busy at work and had given a couple of speeches to local businessmen and at a lunch for the fire department. He’d spoken to Debra on the phone each day, but hadn’t gone by the townhouse to see her.
The investigation into both the cutting of her brake lines and the fire in her house had stalled out despite Thad’s working hard to find the guilty party in any spare time he had. But there was always another crime scene for him to investigate, always a new mystery to be solved.
Trey had also stayed away from the estate for the past week. He had no reason to go by there and didn’t want to make Debra feel uncomfortable.
It had been a long week for him. He felt as if he was in withdrawal... Debra withdrawal. The idea of never making love with her again was downright depressing. But, he knew it was time to think of her only as the mother of his child, a woman who intended to go on living her life without him in it other than as the father of her firstborn child.
She would probably eventually marry somebody and perhaps have other children. Trey would make sure that whatever man she chose would be a stellar stepfather to his child. This thought also depressed him.
He was ridiculously glad when Sunday morning came and he knew at least he’d see Debra at the breakfast his mother had arranged.
It was a perfect Sunday morning as he left his home to head to the estate. The sun shone brightly and although it was only just before ten the temperature had risen to the mid-sixties as the area enjoyed an unusual streak of mild temperatures that, unfortunately, wasn’t going to last. Still, right now it was perfect for breakfast outside by the pool.
He’d chosen a lightweight black-and-gray-patterned sweater with a pair of black jeans for the casual family breakfast that morning.
Hopefully the weather would stay decent through the next weekend, when his mother was the keynote speaker for the chamber of commerce Valentine’s Day celebration.
During the past week he’d spoken to his mother several times and knew how she was looking forward to the Valentine Ball, but more importantly to the speech she would be giving at the event.
He had a list of things he wanted to accomplish in the next week that had nothing to do with either Adair Enterprises or his campaign. He wanted to visit his grandmother again. It had already been too long since his last troubling visit with her.
Secrets and lies. He hadn’t been able to forget how upset his grandmother had become during his last visit, and he hadn’t been completely satisfied by his mother’s explanation. Secrets and lies. Hopefully it was just the meaningless ramblings of an old woman whose mind was starting to slip.
He knew things were going to start to go crazy with his schedule in the next weeks and it was important that he get out to the nursing home to see how she was doing. His last visit had been so unsettling, but he hoped his next one would be better, that she’d be better.
He also wanted to find a contractor who could paint one of his bedrooms in yellow with primary colors as trim to sort of match what Debra would be doing in her guest room for a nursery.
He’d use the guest room closest to his master suite and turn it into a baby wonderland. He planned on being a hands-on father in a way his own dad had never been. He loved that baby already and, like Debra, he intended to let the child know that he or she was both wanted and loved.
Buck had been too busy being
an important senator and sleeping with other women to be much of a parent to his three sons. Trey wanted to be a better kind of father even though he and Debra wouldn’t be together.
And it had been that which had kept him tossing and turning all night. He was so confused about his feelings toward Debra. He’d somehow hoped that in making love with her one last time his constant, overwhelming desire for her would wane or disappear altogether.
But that hadn’t happened. Even now, driving to his mother’s home for breakfast as he thought of Debra a fresh wave of physical desire punched him in the gut.
His feelings for her didn’t stop with the simple, uncomplicated emotion of physical lust. He wanted her safe from harm, he wanted to say things that caused her eyes to twinkle and laughter to spill from her lips.
He not only wanted to talk to her about his campaign, but he also wanted to share with her his worry about his grandmother. He wanted to confess the fact that he loved to watch old John Wayne movies and he liked his popcorn with extra butter, that some country songs could bring tears to his eyes.
He wanted to tell her that he and his brothers had once played cowboys and he and Sam had tied Thad to a tree so tightly they hadn’t been able to untie him. Thankfully a gardener had been working nearby and had used a pair of gardening shears to cut the ropes.
For an hour afterward, Thad had chased them with a big stick, threatening to whip them if he managed to catch them. He tightened his hands on the steering wheel as the happy memory played out in his head.
He had so many memories of home and his brothers. Growing up they had been almost inseparable. But adulthood had brought so many changes. Sam had closed himself off mentally after coming home from overseas and Thad had removed himself both emotionally and physically from the core of the family.
For the first time in his life Trey realized he was lonely. He was thirty-five years old and had nobody in his life who saw the essence of the man he was at his very core. Everyone only saw the top layer, the successful businessman, the new candidate for senator.
He could be something different with Debra. He thought of the peace of just sitting with her in her kitchen, of how relaxed he felt when it was just the two of them together and he didn’t have to put on any kind of a public facade.
Was it possible he was in love with Debra? The thought shot through his head so forcefully, it momentarily took his breath away.
Was this what love felt like? This need to see her face, to make her happy? This desire to keep her safe and see no harm ever came to her? This passion to hold her in his arms, not just while making love but through the night while she slept?
Even if he did love her, it didn’t matter. He’d asked her to marry him and she’d told him no. It was obvious she wanted him in a physical sense, but she wasn’t in love with him.
Funny that the first thing he would fail at in his life was love. Although he wasn’t laughing. He pulled through the side entrance of the estate and as he parked his car it was with an aching heart that felt somehow bruised.
He glanced at his watch as he got out of his car. He was early and from the lack of cars in the side parking area none of his siblings had arrived yet.
He knew that Debra had been invited to attend his mother’s breakfast also. With the realization of the depths of his feelings for her, he felt unusually vulnerable.
Somehow, someway, he had to get over it. They had a lifetime of working together as partners to raise their child. He couldn’t let unwanted emotions get in the way.
He walked into the kitchen where it was obvious Myra had been busy since early this morning as the fragrances of a variety of foods mingled together to make a heavenly scent.
“Don’t you go touching anything in here, Trey Winston,” Myra said sternly as she hurried into the kitchen from another area of the house. At her heels was Tiffany Burgess, one of the kitchen helpers.
Trey held his hands up in innocence. “I was just thinking about maybe pouring myself a cup of coffee, that’s all.”
“Everything is already set up out back by the pool. We just have a few more things to finish up to get the food out there. Now go on with you, coffee is there and your mother should be downstairs anytime now.”
He left the kitchen, walking past Debra’s and then his mother’s office. Just off the foyer was a large ballroom that his mother used when giving charity balls or other such events. It had been a while since she’d used it.
He passed it, as well, and went on to the family sitting room where double doors led out to the pool area. The staff had been busy.
A long glass-top table had been set up with bright turquoise placemats and white plates. Turquoise-and-white-patterned cloth napkins were neatly folded by each place and the silverware gleamed in the sunshine. It looked both inviting and like a signal of the summer to come.
A second table held the beginnings of a buffet. A silver coffeepot and cups took up one end along with a pitcher of orange juice and a tiered serving platter that held a variety of sweet rolls and plump muffins. On the other side of the table hot electric servers awaited food to be placed into their bins.
Trey served himself a cup of coffee and then carried it to a chair away from the table and closer to the pool. In the springtime the beauty of his mother’s backyard was breathtaking, with flowerbeds splashing color and a waterfall that spilled over rocks and then disappeared into a large decorative urn.
In the distance a tree line stood outside the black wrought-iron fence. The trees were far enough away that they couldn’t be used to help anyone scale the fence, but in the springtime when in full leaf, provided a beautiful green backdrop to the large yard.
Looking around the yard and pool area, Trey made a mental note that it was past time for him to do something about his own property. He’d talk to his mother about her landscaping services and see if he could borrow somebody to tell him what would be best to plant.
It was impossible to miss the men who were stationed at the four corners of the yard. The Secret Service would never allow Kate to sit in her own backyard without them present. He doubted that his mother even thought about their presence anymore. They had been a constant in her life since she’d served as vice president.
He sat up straighter in his chair as Thad walked outside. Clad in a pair of black slacks and a white shirt and jacket, he looked more like a businessman than a cop. But Trey knew the slight bulge beneath his sport coat indicated a shoulder holster and gun.
The two brothers had been on the phone to each other several times a day throughout the week as Trey checked in to see if there had been any new information about the attacks on Debra.
He raised a hand in greeting to Trey and then poured himself a cup of coffee and walked over to where Trey sat. “Don’t ask,” he said in greeting. “Because if you ask I’ll have to tell you we have nothing new.”
“You still haven’t been able to identify any real person of interest?” Trey asked.
“We have a couple persons of interest, but no evidence to tie them to any of the crimes. Everyone we’ve spoken to has an alibi that so far we’ve been unable to break.”
“What about Haley?” Trey asked in a low voice, even though he knew the intern wasn’t at the house on Sundays.
“We spoke to her. Her alibi for the nights in question was that she was at her place alone.” Thad shrugged. “We haven’t been able to absolutely place her at home, but we also haven’t been able to disprove that she was there. The motive that you’ve come up with, that somehow she wants to get rid of Debra so that she can have Debra’s job is a bit weak.”
“It’s the only motive I could come up with given that Debra isn’t the type of woman who makes enemies.”
“I know you’ve got her all locked down in that townhouse of hers, but she still needs to watch her back when she’s out of the house,” Thad s
aid. “Since we have no real motive and no real suspects, we can’t warn her in advance should something else happen.”
Trey nodded, a new little hole ripping in his heart as he thought of something bad happening to Debra. “I’m thinking about talking to Mom about maybe getting her some full-time security. Maybe one of the Secret Service men knows somebody who wants to moonlight and shadow Debra to make sure she stays safe when she’s away from home.”
“Might not be a bad idea,” Thad agreed. “At least until we can get a break on the case.” He took a sip of his coffee and eyed Trey with open speculation. “Why do you want to run for the Senate?” he asked.
Trey looked at him in surprise. “Because I think I can make a real difference for the state of North Carolina, because I see problems and issues that I believe I can help to fix. Why?”
Thad raked a hand through his hair and released a deep sigh. “I just feel like politics is what screwed up our whole family life and I can’t imagine why you’d want to put yourself out there like that.”
“Thad, I know you love what you do. I know you feel a true calling in your work. That’s the way I feel about politics. That’s the way mom feels about politics. It’s not just a job—it’s a true calling, a real passion and a need and desire to make things better in the world.”
At that moment Debra stepped outside. Clad in a pair of leg-hugging jeans and a blue-and-green-patterned sweater, she looked more beautiful than ever.
She paused just outside the door and offered a smile to the two brothers. It was at that moment, with her hair gleaming in the sunshine and her smile warming him from head to toe that Trey knew without a doubt that he was madly in love with Debra Prentice.
* * *
That crazy anxious jangle of nerves accompanied an acceleration of her heartbeat at the sight of Trey. She turned and poured herself a glass of orange juice, grateful that at least her hands remained steady.
She had to get used to seeing him and not loving him. She had to transform her love to a friendship for the sake of their baby. She had to figure out how to stop being in love with him and just love him as the father of her child.
HER SECRET, HIS DUTY Page 19